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| 'I felt lonely when I shared that photo': Social media v reality at Christmas | |
| (35 minutes later) | |
| The festive period is full of cheer, overindulgence and presents. But it can also be stressful: there are meals to cook, relatives to please and the pressure to be happy. This is compounded by the fact we are now also privy to other people’s Christmases through social media. Photos of smiling families apparently without a care in the world fill our social media streams. If our celebrations are not as joyous, we can feel inadequate. | The festive period is full of cheer, overindulgence and presents. But it can also be stressful: there are meals to cook, relatives to please and the pressure to be happy. This is compounded by the fact we are now also privy to other people’s Christmases through social media. Photos of smiling families apparently without a care in the world fill our social media streams. If our celebrations are not as joyous, we can feel inadequate. |
| But how accurate are these posts? We asked our readers to tell us whether the Christmas they posted on Facebook and Instagram reflected the reality. | But how accurate are these posts? We asked our readers to tell us whether the Christmas they posted on Facebook and Instagram reflected the reality. |
| Laura, 28, from Manchester (living in Shenzhen, China): I make my stream look ‘fun’ so I don’t upset loved ones | Laura, 28, from Manchester (living in Shenzhen, China): I make my stream look ‘fun’ so I don’t upset loved ones |
| I spent the run-up to Christmas as an emotional wreck. This was my first Christmas away from home, in a hot city with new people and food that I’m not especially fond of. On Christmas Eve I Skyped home, trying to put on a brave face for my family, but seeing them and not being there broke my heart and I broke down. | I spent the run-up to Christmas as an emotional wreck. This was my first Christmas away from home, in a hot city with new people and food that I’m not especially fond of. On Christmas Eve I Skyped home, trying to put on a brave face for my family, but seeing them and not being there broke my heart and I broke down. |
| I didn’t put anything on Instagram that day. My boyfriend and I checked into one of Shenzhen’s top hotels for Christmas Day, not wanting to spend it eating noodles in a flat full of bugs. The hotel was our Christmas gift to ourselves, and I shared with my friends and family on Instagram the “fun” we were having. The fancy afternoon tea, the pillow menu, the open bar, the giant bathtub. The pictures were all joy and happiness. But my social media feed isn’t a true representation of real life. I experience anxiety and often use my accounts as a way to reflect on my life and remind myself of all the good things in it. It’s not real life, it’s an edited version. I edit it for myself and for my loved ones, who would be heartbroken seeing me so sad when I’m so far away from them. | I didn’t put anything on Instagram that day. My boyfriend and I checked into one of Shenzhen’s top hotels for Christmas Day, not wanting to spend it eating noodles in a flat full of bugs. The hotel was our Christmas gift to ourselves, and I shared with my friends and family on Instagram the “fun” we were having. The fancy afternoon tea, the pillow menu, the open bar, the giant bathtub. The pictures were all joy and happiness. But my social media feed isn’t a true representation of real life. I experience anxiety and often use my accounts as a way to reflect on my life and remind myself of all the good things in it. It’s not real life, it’s an edited version. I edit it for myself and for my loved ones, who would be heartbroken seeing me so sad when I’m so far away from them. |
| When I uploaded the photo above I was missing the stuffing and the nut roast and the roaring fire. I was missing my family like crazy and I just wanted to be home. I wanted to hug them and be with them and to pull crackers and be silly. The snacks in the picture are beautiful but nothing is as good as a home-cooked Christmas dinner, and that’s all I wanted. | When I uploaded the photo above I was missing the stuffing and the nut roast and the roaring fire. I was missing my family like crazy and I just wanted to be home. I wanted to hug them and be with them and to pull crackers and be silly. The snacks in the picture are beautiful but nothing is as good as a home-cooked Christmas dinner, and that’s all I wanted. |
| I never look at other posts with envy, because I know that other people do what I do – edit their lives online. I enjoy seeing other people’s highlights. Life can be tough and difficult, and I find social media a good escape. I don’t have an issue with looking at life through rose-tinted filters. | I never look at other posts with envy, because I know that other people do what I do – edit their lives online. I enjoy seeing other people’s highlights. Life can be tough and difficult, and I find social media a good escape. I don’t have an issue with looking at life through rose-tinted filters. |
| Madge, 45, from Sheffield: I didn’t look at social media on Christmas Day – I get fed up of the endless festive pics | Madge, 45, from Sheffield: I didn’t look at social media on Christmas Day – I get fed up of the endless festive pics |
| I am more extroverted and outspoken on social media than in real life. But in both, I am more of an observer than a participant. | I am more extroverted and outspoken on social media than in real life. But in both, I am more of an observer than a participant. |
| I felt good when I shared this picture above: the food was as delicious as it looks. But I only shared it on a veggie Facebook page. Most of my friends do not share my dietary choices and would not want to see my dinner, just as I wouldn’t want to see their turkey. | I felt good when I shared this picture above: the food was as delicious as it looks. But I only shared it on a veggie Facebook page. Most of my friends do not share my dietary choices and would not want to see my dinner, just as I wouldn’t want to see their turkey. |
| I did not look at social media on Christmas Day itself, as I get fed up of seeing endless pics of presents, turkeys and trees. I do celebrate Christmas Day with my partner, but in our own way. We like it to be simple and quiet. | I did not look at social media on Christmas Day itself, as I get fed up of seeing endless pics of presents, turkeys and trees. I do celebrate Christmas Day with my partner, but in our own way. We like it to be simple and quiet. |
| Heather, 28, from London: I am going through a divorce and could not face the happy Christmas photos this year | Heather, 28, from London: I am going through a divorce and could not face the happy Christmas photos this year |
| I try not to post a lot, as I feel it’s often false or boastful. When I do, I usually put up photos of sunsets or places I’ve visited (great architecture, etc). I actually didn’t upload anything this year for the first time in seven years. My wife and I are going through a divorce, and normally upload a lovely family picture together. Since I spent Christmas alone anything I could have posted would have just drawn attention to that fact. You don’t want pity on Instagram, you want likes. | I try not to post a lot, as I feel it’s often false or boastful. When I do, I usually put up photos of sunsets or places I’ve visited (great architecture, etc). I actually didn’t upload anything this year for the first time in seven years. My wife and I are going through a divorce, and normally upload a lovely family picture together. Since I spent Christmas alone anything I could have posted would have just drawn attention to that fact. You don’t want pity on Instagram, you want likes. |
| I completely ignored the world of social media this year by turning my phone off. I can’t remember the last time I did that, as I’m pretty addicted to Facebook and Twitter. I didn’t want to face the happy Christmas photos of friends and their families. I know lots are probably having a miserable time, but there’s no way to know that from a glossy photo. | I completely ignored the world of social media this year by turning my phone off. I can’t remember the last time I did that, as I’m pretty addicted to Facebook and Twitter. I didn’t want to face the happy Christmas photos of friends and their families. I know lots are probably having a miserable time, but there’s no way to know that from a glossy photo. |
| Lynne Moncrieff, 50, from London (living in Congo-Brazzaville): My stream is an honest reflection, warts and all | Lynne Moncrieff, 50, from London (living in Congo-Brazzaville): My stream is an honest reflection, warts and all |
| I like to think my social media life is an accurate mirror of my real life, warts and all. I’m not one to sprinkle glitter on it. Having said that, I’ve tried to keep recent awful family tragedies as palatable as possible. I wouldn’t want to put anyone off their cornflakes. | I like to think my social media life is an accurate mirror of my real life, warts and all. I’m not one to sprinkle glitter on it. Having said that, I’ve tried to keep recent awful family tragedies as palatable as possible. I wouldn’t want to put anyone off their cornflakes. |
| I’m living in Congo-Brazzaville because of my partner’s work. I haven’t been able to work for almost six years due to caring for ill family so I wanted to work as soon as I got here in August. I’m teaching English to some Congolese adults working at Chevron. I also volunteer at the orphanage one or two afternoons a week. This Christmas I’ve uploaded a couple of videos of the party at the orphanage. Then on Boxing Day, I posted a few George Michael tracks (Flawless and the excellent cover of Papa Was a Rolling Stone). I was sad to hear of his passing. | I’m living in Congo-Brazzaville because of my partner’s work. I haven’t been able to work for almost six years due to caring for ill family so I wanted to work as soon as I got here in August. I’m teaching English to some Congolese adults working at Chevron. I also volunteer at the orphanage one or two afternoons a week. This Christmas I’ve uploaded a couple of videos of the party at the orphanage. Then on Boxing Day, I posted a few George Michael tracks (Flawless and the excellent cover of Papa Was a Rolling Stone). I was sad to hear of his passing. |
| I felt proud when I shared the picture above. It was a special moment in these little boys’ lives. It’s a shame the shot is from behind as they’re all so beautiful but I thought it was quite a cute image anyway. | I felt proud when I shared the picture above. It was a special moment in these little boys’ lives. It’s a shame the shot is from behind as they’re all so beautiful but I thought it was quite a cute image anyway. |
| I like social media and being able to see what’s going on with my friends, but I do feel exasperated sometimes at how it’s only the gloss most people portray. Life is not all about infinity pools, glamorous places and happy, shiny people. Life can at times be cruel, raw and difficult and I don’t see many posts about that. | I like social media and being able to see what’s going on with my friends, but I do feel exasperated sometimes at how it’s only the gloss most people portray. Life is not all about infinity pools, glamorous places and happy, shiny people. Life can at times be cruel, raw and difficult and I don’t see many posts about that. |
| Anonymous, 29, from Nottinghamshire: The photo of my stollen got a lot of likes but I felt lonely when I made it | Anonymous, 29, from Nottinghamshire: The photo of my stollen got a lot of likes but I felt lonely when I made it |
| I posted on Facebook before Christmas that I’d made figgy pudding and stollen for the Christmas Day feast. The status got around 15 likes and sounded hygge [a Danish word that roughly translates to homeliness]. In reality, I’d spent the day arguing with my boyfriend about the baking. We hadn’t worked well as a team. Also, I didn’t get to enjoy watching my family eat these treats because I was working. I actually felt quite lonely when I shared that picture. I have a mixed opinion of social media – sometimes it makes me feel jealous and inadequate, while at other times I’m happy my friends seem to be doing well. But it is a poor substitute for sharing problems or successes face-to-face. | I posted on Facebook before Christmas that I’d made figgy pudding and stollen for the Christmas Day feast. The status got around 15 likes and sounded hygge [a Danish word that roughly translates to homeliness]. In reality, I’d spent the day arguing with my boyfriend about the baking. We hadn’t worked well as a team. Also, I didn’t get to enjoy watching my family eat these treats because I was working. I actually felt quite lonely when I shared that picture. I have a mixed opinion of social media – sometimes it makes me feel jealous and inadequate, while at other times I’m happy my friends seem to be doing well. But it is a poor substitute for sharing problems or successes face-to-face. |