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When words fail us, the most offensive ones will have to do When words fail us, the most offensive ones will have to do
(about 11 hours later)
When people are in pain, a study once showed, swearing is a reliable anaesthetic. Volunteers who swore when their hands were immersed in ice cold water could tolerate the pain almost 50% longer than those who were allowed only polite exclamations. The public were warned, however, that this effect could be diminished for prolific swearers. “If you overuse it,” said the lead scientist, “it loses its emotional attachment.”When people are in pain, a study once showed, swearing is a reliable anaesthetic. Volunteers who swore when their hands were immersed in ice cold water could tolerate the pain almost 50% longer than those who were allowed only polite exclamations. The public were warned, however, that this effect could be diminished for prolific swearers. “If you overuse it,” said the lead scientist, “it loses its emotional attachment.”
I like to think this explains a recent, dramatic deterioration in my own language, starting on the morning of 24 June 2016, when David Cameron appeared on the steps of Downing Street. As a regrettably prolific swearer, the only way to alleviate the agony of watching him, then a succession of public figures, as they set about destroying their countries or parties, has been recourse to stronger profanities. When the exclamation of old standards – “tosser”, say, “scumbag” or “dickhead” – ceased to offer respite from news-induced suffering, it just became too hard to avoid, occasionally, the word generally agreed to be the most offensive available; a word I never used to say – or only when alone, in the car, at drivers of 4x4s.I like to think this explains a recent, dramatic deterioration in my own language, starting on the morning of 24 June 2016, when David Cameron appeared on the steps of Downing Street. As a regrettably prolific swearer, the only way to alleviate the agony of watching him, then a succession of public figures, as they set about destroying their countries or parties, has been recourse to stronger profanities. When the exclamation of old standards – “tosser”, say, “scumbag” or “dickhead” – ceased to offer respite from news-induced suffering, it just became too hard to avoid, occasionally, the word generally agreed to be the most offensive available; a word I never used to say – or only when alone, in the car, at drivers of 4x4s.
Assuming, as it appears, that I’m not the only one, it has been the further achievement of men such as Gove, Farage, Johnson and Fox hugely to increase the repetition by women, possibly in ways that Eve Ensler did not envisage in her Vagina Monologues, of the formerly unutterable. A younger feminist, for instance, cheerfully Instagrammed her placard for last weekend’s women’s march: “Oi Orange Cunt, Fuck Off.” Technically, I would argue, he’s closer to Farrow and Ball’s Incarnadine, but you saw her point.Assuming, as it appears, that I’m not the only one, it has been the further achievement of men such as Gove, Farage, Johnson and Fox hugely to increase the repetition by women, possibly in ways that Eve Ensler did not envisage in her Vagina Monologues, of the formerly unutterable. A younger feminist, for instance, cheerfully Instagrammed her placard for last weekend’s women’s march: “Oi Orange Cunt, Fuck Off.” Technically, I would argue, he’s closer to Farrow and Ball’s Incarnadine, but you saw her point.
Mercifully, for publicity purposes, and given the number of young, but literate children at that event, most of the march’s placards and banners were less confrontational in response to Trump’s “grab them by the pussy”. “We Shall Overcomb” was one of the best slogans and “Pussy Galore”, by a colleague, probably my favourite. But given how neatly their invention and humour implicitly shamed Trump’s predation boasts, it was only natural the president’s allies would search elsewhere for evidence of marching ragefulness.Mercifully, for publicity purposes, and given the number of young, but literate children at that event, most of the march’s placards and banners were less confrontational in response to Trump’s “grab them by the pussy”. “We Shall Overcomb” was one of the best slogans and “Pussy Galore”, by a colleague, probably my favourite. But given how neatly their invention and humour implicitly shamed Trump’s predation boasts, it was only natural the president’s allies would search elsewhere for evidence of marching ragefulness.
For instance, one of the presenters of a British breakfast programme, Piers Morgan, has put huge effort into making Madonna emblematic of the entire march, the singer having been careless enough, at the Washington march, to share some thoughts on revolution and love. Mr Morgan, a friend of President Trump, alighted on her disclosure, one clearly designed to showcase Gandhi-like credentials, that she’d felt – but hadn’t gone further, what with the power of love, solidarity, etc – like blowing up the White House. One recalled that President Trump never invoked that beautiful emotion when he appeared to contemplate the assassination of Hillary Clinton.For instance, one of the presenters of a British breakfast programme, Piers Morgan, has put huge effort into making Madonna emblematic of the entire march, the singer having been careless enough, at the Washington march, to share some thoughts on revolution and love. Mr Morgan, a friend of President Trump, alighted on her disclosure, one clearly designed to showcase Gandhi-like credentials, that she’d felt – but hadn’t gone further, what with the power of love, solidarity, etc – like blowing up the White House. One recalled that President Trump never invoked that beautiful emotion when he appeared to contemplate the assassination of Hillary Clinton.
But I am grateful to Mr Morgan for encouraging me to study Madonna’s appearance for the incitements to rabidness that were in such short supply in London. “To our detractors that insist that this march will never add up to anything,” Madonna said, “fuck you.” A meaningful pause. “Fuck you.” Was that rabid? It didn’t, admittedly, seem to indicate an excess of love. As much as anything, with its deployment, presumably for sincerity’s sake, of repetition, aggression and bad language, it recalled Donald Trump, whose prim reprimand to Mexico’s former president (for “that fucking wall”), sits oddly with his own, prodigious swearing record, available in various helpful thefederalist.com compilations. “Listen motherfuckers,” he says; and “I’m going to bomb the shit out of them”; and, (his) “seven billion dollars in the fucking bank”; “you’re not going to raise that fucking price”; “bastard”; “you can tell them to go [mouthed] fuck themselves”. As with everything else, the man has ruined swearing. And thanks to Mr Morgan, I may have found my new year’s resolution.But I am grateful to Mr Morgan for encouraging me to study Madonna’s appearance for the incitements to rabidness that were in such short supply in London. “To our detractors that insist that this march will never add up to anything,” Madonna said, “fuck you.” A meaningful pause. “Fuck you.” Was that rabid? It didn’t, admittedly, seem to indicate an excess of love. As much as anything, with its deployment, presumably for sincerity’s sake, of repetition, aggression and bad language, it recalled Donald Trump, whose prim reprimand to Mexico’s former president (for “that fucking wall”), sits oddly with his own, prodigious swearing record, available in various helpful thefederalist.com compilations. “Listen motherfuckers,” he says; and “I’m going to bomb the shit out of them”; and, (his) “seven billion dollars in the fucking bank”; “you’re not going to raise that fucking price”; “bastard”; “you can tell them to go [mouthed] fuck themselves”. As with everything else, the man has ruined swearing. And thanks to Mr Morgan, I may have found my new year’s resolution.
In correspondence with the New Yorker, Philip Roth has distinguished between the character limitations of Donald Trump and those of his Republican predecessors. None, he said, was as “humanly impoverished” as Trump is: “ignorant of government, of history, of science, of philosophy, of art, incapable of expressing or recognising subtlety or nuance, destitute of all decency, and wielding a vocabulary of seventy-seven words that is better called Jerkish than English.”In correspondence with the New Yorker, Philip Roth has distinguished between the character limitations of Donald Trump and those of his Republican predecessors. None, he said, was as “humanly impoverished” as Trump is: “ignorant of government, of history, of science, of philosophy, of art, incapable of expressing or recognising subtlety or nuance, destitute of all decency, and wielding a vocabulary of seventy-seven words that is better called Jerkish than English.”
Fluent in both tongues is the MP, Times journalist and quondam distributor of free King James bibles (with an introduction by himself) Michael Gove. Interviewing Trump or, in effect, moonlighting as his UK spin doctor, Gove recently argued that “the man himself operates in a much more nuanced fashion than his torrent of verbiage would lead many to believe”. Though, to be on the safe side, readers were warned not to expect conventional indicators of wisdom.Fluent in both tongues is the MP, Times journalist and quondam distributor of free King James bibles (with an introduction by himself) Michael Gove. Interviewing Trump or, in effect, moonlighting as his UK spin doctor, Gove recently argued that “the man himself operates in a much more nuanced fashion than his torrent of verbiage would lead many to believe”. Though, to be on the safe side, readers were warned not to expect conventional indicators of wisdom.
“Conversation with the [then] president-elect,” Gove excused his new friend, “is much more like tuning into talk radio.” On which hosts such as Glenn Beck might call Hillary a “stereotypical bitch”. Beck now worries about his contribution to causing “hatred and division”. Though the degree to which Trump-style behaviour really threatens American civility is another source of contention. Prior to the US election, an academic, Keith Bybee, author of the recent, How Civility Works, argued that, “through his spectacular breaches of decorum, Trump has demanded that his denigrated followers be recognised and esteemed”.“Conversation with the [then] president-elect,” Gove excused his new friend, “is much more like tuning into talk radio.” On which hosts such as Glenn Beck might call Hillary a “stereotypical bitch”. Beck now worries about his contribution to causing “hatred and division”. Though the degree to which Trump-style behaviour really threatens American civility is another source of contention. Prior to the US election, an academic, Keith Bybee, author of the recent, How Civility Works, argued that, “through his spectacular breaches of decorum, Trump has demanded that his denigrated followers be recognised and esteemed”.
As for the UK product, that continues to be weakened by the rise of political Jerkish, Trump-like binaries, insults and xenophobia being equally dear to hard Brexit philosophy. Following his alleged vindication, media tolerance of Nigel Farage’s rudeness (for which he was fined in the European parliament, but rewarded with a career in talk radio) is such that his “Remoaner” and “Remaniac” are more widely accepted as neutral descriptors, like those other insults turned red-top stylebook: snowflake, feminazi, liberal elite. Not, as Gove and Johnson assure us, that an elite education need be any brake on coarseness, the former tweeting his thoughts on Turner prize “crap”, while the diplomat’s old anxieties about “uncouth” behaviour, have given way to “whinge-o-rama”, “punishment beating”. Downing Street’s tactic, after the latter jibe, was to blame media over-reaction. Meanwhile, Corbyn, though no student of Farage, is inexplicably impressed, to judge by his tweets, by Trump’s trademark accusation – “rigged”. Fellow role model John McDonnell has said references to colleagues as “fucking useless” were “normal political descriptions”.As for the UK product, that continues to be weakened by the rise of political Jerkish, Trump-like binaries, insults and xenophobia being equally dear to hard Brexit philosophy. Following his alleged vindication, media tolerance of Nigel Farage’s rudeness (for which he was fined in the European parliament, but rewarded with a career in talk radio) is such that his “Remoaner” and “Remaniac” are more widely accepted as neutral descriptors, like those other insults turned red-top stylebook: snowflake, feminazi, liberal elite. Not, as Gove and Johnson assure us, that an elite education need be any brake on coarseness, the former tweeting his thoughts on Turner prize “crap”, while the diplomat’s old anxieties about “uncouth” behaviour, have given way to “whinge-o-rama”, “punishment beating”. Downing Street’s tactic, after the latter jibe, was to blame media over-reaction. Meanwhile, Corbyn, though no student of Farage, is inexplicably impressed, to judge by his tweets, by Trump’s trademark accusation – “rigged”. Fellow role model John McDonnell has said references to colleagues as “fucking useless” were “normal political descriptions”.
If this points, as some argue, to an irreversible debasement of public discourse, others would welcome that very development as more fresh, free and inclusive than phoney capitulation to rules of conduct enforced by privileged elites. In which case, nothing could be more pleasantly authentic than to see a debate between Madonna and Donald Trump, with her telling him to fuck off and him telling her to go fuck herself; him stalking behind her, her jabbing her finger in his face. That’s if they kept it up. As any teenager knows, critical to being effectively uncivil is the certainty that no decent adult will ever do it back.If this points, as some argue, to an irreversible debasement of public discourse, others would welcome that very development as more fresh, free and inclusive than phoney capitulation to rules of conduct enforced by privileged elites. In which case, nothing could be more pleasantly authentic than to see a debate between Madonna and Donald Trump, with her telling him to fuck off and him telling her to go fuck herself; him stalking behind her, her jabbing her finger in his face. That’s if they kept it up. As any teenager knows, critical to being effectively uncivil is the certainty that no decent adult will ever do it back.
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