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Trump as a Novel: An Implausible ‘Soap Opera Without the Sex and Fun’ | Trump as a Novel: An Implausible ‘Soap Opera Without the Sex and Fun’ |
(about 17 hours later) | |
WASHINGTON — So it’s a few days before the election last November — just a few more days, surely, before Donald J. Trump would return to his golden tower to start a niche TV venture and fill a sagging Twitter feed with exclamation-pointed despair — and a book agent goes to his client with an idea: How about something on the Trump White House That Wasn’t? | WASHINGTON — So it’s a few days before the election last November — just a few more days, surely, before Donald J. Trump would return to his golden tower to start a niche TV venture and fill a sagging Twitter feed with exclamation-pointed despair — and a book agent goes to his client with an idea: How about something on the Trump White House That Wasn’t? |
The writer — Steve Israel, then a Democratic congressman from New York, now at work on his third political satire — whips up a proposal, “Trumplandia.” Plot lines include a furtive meeting with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, overnight social media rockets fired from Mar-a-Lago and a top administration post for Ben Carson, now the secretary of housing and urban development, who once suggested through a surrogate that he was not qualified to run a federal agency. | The writer — Steve Israel, then a Democratic congressman from New York, now at work on his third political satire — whips up a proposal, “Trumplandia.” Plot lines include a furtive meeting with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, overnight social media rockets fired from Mar-a-Lago and a top administration post for Ben Carson, now the secretary of housing and urban development, who once suggested through a surrogate that he was not qualified to run a federal agency. |
“Highly implausible,” the agent said of the pitch then. | “Highly implausible,” the agent said of the pitch then. |
“My pen name could have been Nostradamus,” Mr. Israel says now. | “My pen name could have been Nostradamus,” Mr. Israel says now. |
Many classes of Washingtonian have struggled with these first six months in President Trump’s thrall: senators, fact-checkers, people who enjoy sleep. But in a city so enchanted by its own history, so practiced in projecting a seen-it-all nonchalance, it has been a particularly trying time for a certain kind of storytelling swamp creature. | Many classes of Washingtonian have struggled with these first six months in President Trump’s thrall: senators, fact-checkers, people who enjoy sleep. But in a city so enchanted by its own history, so practiced in projecting a seen-it-all nonchalance, it has been a particularly trying time for a certain kind of storytelling swamp creature. |
Novelists linger over blank pages. Historians grope for precedent, and shrug. Even past participants in scandal strain to follow the narrative arc. | Novelists linger over blank pages. Historians grope for precedent, and shrug. Even past participants in scandal strain to follow the narrative arc. |
“It’s early. We’re getting introduced to the characters,” said John Dean, the White House counsel and Watergate supporting player during the Nixon administration, who has become a frequent author in the decades since. “We’re not quite sure how this story is going to unfold, as comedy or tragedy.” | “It’s early. We’re getting introduced to the characters,” said John Dean, the White House counsel and Watergate supporting player during the Nixon administration, who has become a frequent author in the decades since. “We’re not quite sure how this story is going to unfold, as comedy or tragedy.” |
He does have a guess. He pleaded guilty to a felony once. | He does have a guess. He pleaded guilty to a felony once. |
At present, though, the elements for either genre are slotting into place — an Allen Drury novel crossed with Shakespeare, with final touches entrusted to producers for the E! network. | At present, though, the elements for either genre are slotting into place — an Allen Drury novel crossed with Shakespeare, with final touches entrusted to producers for the E! network. |
Foreign intrigue. Strained alliances at the Capitol. A blundering son. Face-lift tweets. | Foreign intrigue. Strained alliances at the Capitol. A blundering son. Face-lift tweets. |
There are nits to pick, and self-appointed editors to pick them. Where is this going? Which act are we on? | There are nits to pick, and self-appointed editors to pick them. Where is this going? Which act are we on? |
“It’s like a soap opera without the sex and fun,” grumbled Matt Latimer, an author and former speechwriter for President George W. Bush. (He is reminded that the administration is young.) | “It’s like a soap opera without the sex and fun,” grumbled Matt Latimer, an author and former speechwriter for President George W. Bush. (He is reminded that the administration is young.) |
Some have chafed at the pacing and repetitive story lines, like Republicans’ halting efforts to pass health care legislation. | Some have chafed at the pacing and repetitive story lines, like Republicans’ halting efforts to pass health care legislation. |
Others wonder whether some elements are a bit on the nose, like the subject line on Donald Trump Jr.’s email chain about meeting with a Kremlin-connected lawyer last year: “Russia - Clinton - private and confidential.” | Others wonder whether some elements are a bit on the nose, like the subject line on Donald Trump Jr.’s email chain about meeting with a Kremlin-connected lawyer last year: “Russia - Clinton - private and confidential.” |
Chekhov’s gun is not supposed to be fired skyward like a flare. | Chekhov’s gun is not supposed to be fired skyward like a flare. |
“The Great White Shark has been jumped, indeed, pole-vaulted,” said Christopher Buckley, the author of politically charged sendups like “Thank You for Smoking.” “American politics has given the satirist pretty much nowhere to go. But away.” | “The Great White Shark has been jumped, indeed, pole-vaulted,” said Christopher Buckley, the author of politically charged sendups like “Thank You for Smoking.” “American politics has given the satirist pretty much nowhere to go. But away.” |
And still the writers try, reaching for analogies that can manage to mangle past and present in equal measure. | And still the writers try, reaching for analogies that can manage to mangle past and present in equal measure. |
It’s Iran-contra with a spray tan, Lewinsky with a grande covfefe. | It’s Iran-contra with a spray tan, Lewinsky with a grande covfefe. |
It’s “The Godfather,” but this time there’s a silent son-in-law in charge of Middle East peace for some reason. | It’s “The Godfather,” but this time there’s a silent son-in-law in charge of Middle East peace for some reason. |
Sometimes inspiration springs from odd corners of the mind. William S. Cohen — the former Clinton administration secretary of defense, Republican senator from Maine and occasional novelist — was stirred recently by the memory of a poster on the back of a Senate Armed Services Committee bathroom during his tenure. It depicted Soviet soldiers on the march, he said, with a tagline that read, “Come visit us before we come visit you.” | Sometimes inspiration springs from odd corners of the mind. William S. Cohen — the former Clinton administration secretary of defense, Republican senator from Maine and occasional novelist — was stirred recently by the memory of a poster on the back of a Senate Armed Services Committee bathroom during his tenure. It depicted Soviet soldiers on the march, he said, with a tagline that read, “Come visit us before we come visit you.” |
“Well,” he said by phone, “the Russians have come to visit us.” | “Well,” he said by phone, “the Russians have come to visit us.” |
Late-night comedians have leaned most often on the Nixon age for comparison, with mixed success. In March, John Oliver, the host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight,” described the Trump-Russia affair as “Stupid Watergate” — a prospective scandal “with all the intrigue of Watergate, except everyone involved is really bad at everything.” | Late-night comedians have leaned most often on the Nixon age for comparison, with mixed success. In March, John Oliver, the host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight,” described the Trump-Russia affair as “Stupid Watergate” — a prospective scandal “with all the intrigue of Watergate, except everyone involved is really bad at everything.” |
He has found that the framing device is aging distressingly well. | He has found that the framing device is aging distressingly well. |
“Unfortunately, it was supposed to be a self-contained joke,” he told Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show” last week, “but current events are making it more and more relevant. Which is not normally how jokes work.” | “Unfortunately, it was supposed to be a self-contained joke,” he told Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show” last week, “but current events are making it more and more relevant. Which is not normally how jokes work.” |
The label seemed to offend Mr. Dean, of Nixonian infamy, by implication. | The label seemed to offend Mr. Dean, of Nixonian infamy, by implication. |
“Most people don’t appreciate how stupid Watergate was,” he said. “It was ham-fisted all over the place.” | “Most people don’t appreciate how stupid Watergate was,” he said. “It was ham-fisted all over the place.” |
No question. But rarely has the ham-fistedness felt so all-consuming, infusing even the simplest of tasks from a president who, seeing little need for subtext, tends to read the bracketed stage directions aloud. | No question. But rarely has the ham-fistedness felt so all-consuming, infusing even the simplest of tasks from a president who, seeing little need for subtext, tends to read the bracketed stage directions aloud. |
A scene: | A scene: |
For a moment, it seemed that the Senate health bill would be imperiled by a blood clot in Arizona, found in a war hero senator, John McCain, whom Mr. Trump once disparaged for being captured in combat. (This legislative cliffhanger played out before Wednesday night, when Mr. McCain’s office said he had a brain tumor.) | |
On Monday, the president appeared eager to play narrator. | |
“He’s a crusty voice in Washington,” he said of Mr. McCain, in something approaching a compliment. Then came the bottom line: “Plus, we need his vote.” | “He’s a crusty voice in Washington,” he said of Mr. McCain, in something approaching a compliment. Then came the bottom line: “Plus, we need his vote.” |
They did not, as it happened. By Tuesday, they needed his and several others they did not have. No one said Mr. Trump was a reliable narrator. | |
But there it was again, a sharp detour in this most peculiar chapter, sending the capital lurching down a cul-de-sac so unfamiliar that Senator Jerry Moran of Kansas — Senator Jerry Moran! Of Kansas! — played a decisive role in felling Republicans’ signature legislative promise of the last seven years. | But there it was again, a sharp detour in this most peculiar chapter, sending the capital lurching down a cul-de-sac so unfamiliar that Senator Jerry Moran of Kansas — Senator Jerry Moran! Of Kansas! — played a decisive role in felling Republicans’ signature legislative promise of the last seven years. |
Maybe the tale will continue thus, hurtling forth in serialized chunks before a finale that may or may not arrive before January 2025. | Maybe the tale will continue thus, hurtling forth in serialized chunks before a finale that may or may not arrive before January 2025. |
Mr. Israel, the congressman-turned-novelist, saw another ending once upon a time — liberal fantasy stacked upon liberal fantasy. | Mr. Israel, the congressman-turned-novelist, saw another ending once upon a time — liberal fantasy stacked upon liberal fantasy. |
His book proposal concludes on Inauguration Day 2021. Mr. Trump, scandal-tarred and missing his real estate life, has decided against another run. Ground has already been broken on the Trump presidential library in Palm Beach, Fla. | His book proposal concludes on Inauguration Day 2021. Mr. Trump, scandal-tarred and missing his real estate life, has decided against another run. Ground has already been broken on the Trump presidential library in Palm Beach, Fla. |
And as a helicopter whirs off, hauling the former president away, the book’s protagonist, a Trump press secretary named Jared Gold, sees an email: “President Sanders wants to meet with you.” | And as a helicopter whirs off, hauling the former president away, the book’s protagonist, a Trump press secretary named Jared Gold, sees an email: “President Sanders wants to meet with you.” |
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