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| Helen Steel on her relationship with an undercover policeman: ‘I feel violated’ | Helen Steel on her relationship with an undercover policeman: ‘I feel violated’ |
| (5 months later) | |
| Undercover police officers who had relationships with the women they spied on will not be prosecuted, it was announced last week. Helen Steel is still recovering from the discovery that the love of her life was a lie – and not giving up the fight for justice | |
| Emine Saner | |
| Fri 29 Aug 2014 17.45 BST | |
| Last modified on Thu 30 Nov 2017 09.32 GMT | |
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| Even when she saw the words “police officer” on her former partner’s marriage certificate, Helen Steel found it hard to take in what it meant. She already knew that John Dines – a man she’d known as John Barker – had lied about his name, age and background, and even that he was using the identity of a dead child. But finding out that he was married, and his occupation, still didn’t answer all her questions. More than 10 years after he disappeared from her life, she took refuge in the idea that perhaps he had been a police officer once, but had left his job and become a political activist – that in some way he was genuine, and that their relationship had been, too. It was some years later, in 2010, that she was told, by a woman who had herself been married to an undercover police officer, that the man she had loved had been working undercover for a secret Metropolitan police unit. | Even when she saw the words “police officer” on her former partner’s marriage certificate, Helen Steel found it hard to take in what it meant. She already knew that John Dines – a man she’d known as John Barker – had lied about his name, age and background, and even that he was using the identity of a dead child. But finding out that he was married, and his occupation, still didn’t answer all her questions. More than 10 years after he disappeared from her life, she took refuge in the idea that perhaps he had been a police officer once, but had left his job and become a political activist – that in some way he was genuine, and that their relationship had been, too. It was some years later, in 2010, that she was told, by a woman who had herself been married to an undercover police officer, that the man she had loved had been working undercover for a secret Metropolitan police unit. |
| Last week, prosecutors announced they would not charge four officers who, during their infiltration of protest groups as part of their work with the Special Demonstration Squad, had started relationships with female members. Due to the secrecy around the case, Steel still doesn’t know if Dines was one of the four, though she thinks it likely he is. This week she launched her own appeal against an earlier ruling that allowed the police to continue to use their practice of “neither confirm nor deny” to delay and derail the case (they have been forced to confirm that two other officers who fathered children with the women they deceived were working undercover). Another woman is seeking a review of the CPS decision. | Last week, prosecutors announced they would not charge four officers who, during their infiltration of protest groups as part of their work with the Special Demonstration Squad, had started relationships with female members. Due to the secrecy around the case, Steel still doesn’t know if Dines was one of the four, though she thinks it likely he is. This week she launched her own appeal against an earlier ruling that allowed the police to continue to use their practice of “neither confirm nor deny” to delay and derail the case (they have been forced to confirm that two other officers who fathered children with the women they deceived were working undercover). Another woman is seeking a review of the CPS decision. |
| How does she feel about the CPS decision? “Just angry at the continuing coverup, and the fact that they can have the audacity to claim that the relationships were genuine in any way. There is no way anybody would consent to a relationship with somebody if they knew they were using the identity of a child who’d died, if they knew that they were there to spy on them, if they knew that everything about that person was fake.” | How does she feel about the CPS decision? “Just angry at the continuing coverup, and the fact that they can have the audacity to claim that the relationships were genuine in any way. There is no way anybody would consent to a relationship with somebody if they knew they were using the identity of a child who’d died, if they knew that they were there to spy on them, if they knew that everything about that person was fake.” |
| It has been suggested that people lie in relationships all the time – the “single” person who turns out to be married, the one who takes a few years off their age – but this is hardly comparable, she says. “What other kind of police misconduct is justified on the basis that other people do it? And actually, it isn’t like lying about your age; it’s a whole false identity – name, date of birth, history, politics, job. Everything about that person is false.” | It has been suggested that people lie in relationships all the time – the “single” person who turns out to be married, the one who takes a few years off their age – but this is hardly comparable, she says. “What other kind of police misconduct is justified on the basis that other people do it? And actually, it isn’t like lying about your age; it’s a whole false identity – name, date of birth, history, politics, job. Everything about that person is false.” |
| Steel is part of a group of eight women who launched legal action over relationships they had with five undercover police officers over a 25-year period. There are thought to be at least four other women bringing civil claims. One has said she feels “raped by the state”. Steel does not repeat that phrase, but says, “I certainly feel violated by what they have done. It’s about power. We didn’t consent, and wouldn’t have consented if we had known who they were.” The group has described the Met’s use of them as “institutional sexism”. “They’ve allowed this to happen in a unit of mainly male officers, in a culture where sexism is undoubtedly at play,” says Steel. “Politicians and police officers have tried to justify it on the basis that it’s ‘necessary’, or that we deserved it in some way. Then you’ve got the CPS saying we consented. The whole thing just demonstrates institutional sexism. The assumption is that, as a woman, you haven’t got the right to make a fully informed decision about who you want a relationship with, or have sex with – and that basically it’s not a problem for police to use women in this way.” | Steel is part of a group of eight women who launched legal action over relationships they had with five undercover police officers over a 25-year period. There are thought to be at least four other women bringing civil claims. One has said she feels “raped by the state”. Steel does not repeat that phrase, but says, “I certainly feel violated by what they have done. It’s about power. We didn’t consent, and wouldn’t have consented if we had known who they were.” The group has described the Met’s use of them as “institutional sexism”. “They’ve allowed this to happen in a unit of mainly male officers, in a culture where sexism is undoubtedly at play,” says Steel. “Politicians and police officers have tried to justify it on the basis that it’s ‘necessary’, or that we deserved it in some way. Then you’ve got the CPS saying we consented. The whole thing just demonstrates institutional sexism. The assumption is that, as a woman, you haven’t got the right to make a fully informed decision about who you want a relationship with, or have sex with – and that basically it’s not a problem for police to use women in this way.” |
| Have they had support from politicians? “We’ve had hardly any, apart from [the Green party’s] Caroline Lucas and Jenny Jones,” says Steel. “When we went to give evidence in front of the home affairs select committee, all they seemed to be interested in asking was if we had done anything to deserve this. As though there was anything that could deserve this. There is nothing in law that says that if a policeman suspects you of any offence, let alone involvement in a political campaign, that that entitles them to sleep with you to find out. When they were asking questions like that it felt like the whole debate around rape – ‘if you’re wearing a short skirt you deserve it’. It’s the same mentality that says you must have done something to bring it on yourself.” When the Guardian called government women’s minister Nicky Morgan this week to ask for her view on the CPS decision, she declined to comment. | Have they had support from politicians? “We’ve had hardly any, apart from [the Green party’s] Caroline Lucas and Jenny Jones,” says Steel. “When we went to give evidence in front of the home affairs select committee, all they seemed to be interested in asking was if we had done anything to deserve this. As though there was anything that could deserve this. There is nothing in law that says that if a policeman suspects you of any offence, let alone involvement in a political campaign, that that entitles them to sleep with you to find out. When they were asking questions like that it felt like the whole debate around rape – ‘if you’re wearing a short skirt you deserve it’. It’s the same mentality that says you must have done something to bring it on yourself.” When the Guardian called government women’s minister Nicky Morgan this week to ask for her view on the CPS decision, she declined to comment. |
| Steel met Dines at meetings of a London green group in 1987. “Over the course of the next three years, we got to know each other,” she says. “He had a van and used to offer to drive people home, which is a very common tactic of undercover officers, because they can find out where people live.” | Steel met Dines at meetings of a London green group in 1987. “Over the course of the next three years, we got to know each other,” she says. “He had a van and used to offer to drive people home, which is a very common tactic of undercover officers, because they can find out where people live.” |
| Dines asked her out a few times. He told her his mother had just died and asked to borrow money so he could go to her funeral in New Zealand. She knew his father had died a couple of years earlier, and he told her he was an only child. Looking back, says Steel, she can see how he manipulated her into caring for him. | Dines asked her out a few times. He told her his mother had just died and asked to borrow money so he could go to her funeral in New Zealand. She knew his father had died a couple of years earlier, and he told her he was an only child. Looking back, says Steel, she can see how he manipulated her into caring for him. |
| When he returned from New Zealand, they started a relationship, and within six months decided to move in together. “We talked about having a family. He was saying that once his parents’ house had been sold, he would have some money, and he wanted to buy a house somewhere rural.” | When he returned from New Zealand, they started a relationship, and within six months decided to move in together. “We talked about having a family. He was saying that once his parents’ house had been sold, he would have some money, and he wanted to buy a house somewhere rural.” |
| The relationship seemed strong and happy, until she came home one day and found a note. In it he said he couldn’t cope with the fact that he had no family left, that the only woman he’d loved before Steel had left him, and he was terrified Steel would do the same. Reading the letter, she says, was “devastating. It really came like a bolt from the blue. These were the days before mobile phones, so I had no way of getting in contact with him. He rang within a couple of days and I cried my eyes out on the phone, and he agreed to come back. He did, and it seemed to be OK for a bit. He disappeared again a couple of times but it wasn’t so abrupt.” He would tell her he was going to France or Ireland, to get away and sort his head out. | The relationship seemed strong and happy, until she came home one day and found a note. In it he said he couldn’t cope with the fact that he had no family left, that the only woman he’d loved before Steel had left him, and he was terrified Steel would do the same. Reading the letter, she says, was “devastating. It really came like a bolt from the blue. These were the days before mobile phones, so I had no way of getting in contact with him. He rang within a couple of days and I cried my eyes out on the phone, and he agreed to come back. He did, and it seemed to be OK for a bit. He disappeared again a couple of times but it wasn’t so abrupt.” He would tell her he was going to France or Ireland, to get away and sort his head out. |
| By then they had moved to Yorkshire, and were staying with friends who had a smallholding – a chance to find out what it was like before they bought their own. Then he told Steel he had a job working on the channel tunnel. They would meet up in London, but one day Dines didn’t phone. Steel went out looking for him, and he called while she was out and spoke to the friend she was staying with. “She said: ‘John’s rung and he said he’s put a letter in the post, and sounded really upset.’” | By then they had moved to Yorkshire, and were staying with friends who had a smallholding – a chance to find out what it was like before they bought their own. Then he told Steel he had a job working on the channel tunnel. They would meet up in London, but one day Dines didn’t phone. Steel went out looking for him, and he called while she was out and spoke to the friend she was staying with. “She said: ‘John’s rung and he said he’s put a letter in the post, and sounded really upset.’” |
| A few days later the letter arrived. It said he was leaving for South Africa, and that he was sorry. Back in Yorkshire another two letters arrived, both postmarked from South Africa. “The second letter said that if he ever sorted his head out, he’d be back. So I was left in limbo. I was still completely in love with him, and according to his letters he was still in love with me – it’s just that he had this fear that I was going to leave and he wanted to pre-empt that. What he did was extremely cruel, because if he had said, ‘That’s it, I don’t love you any more’, I probably could have come to terms with that sooner. To pretend that he might come back just meant I was left hanging.” | A few days later the letter arrived. It said he was leaving for South Africa, and that he was sorry. Back in Yorkshire another two letters arrived, both postmarked from South Africa. “The second letter said that if he ever sorted his head out, he’d be back. So I was left in limbo. I was still completely in love with him, and according to his letters he was still in love with me – it’s just that he had this fear that I was going to leave and he wanted to pre-empt that. What he did was extremely cruel, because if he had said, ‘That’s it, I don’t love you any more’, I probably could have come to terms with that sooner. To pretend that he might come back just meant I was left hanging.” |
| Steel feared he might harm himself. It was the last she heard from him; she didn’t even know if he was still alive. With dogged persistence, she set about trying to find him, and over the next few years she conducted an extraordinary search that would even take her to New Zealand to pore over newspaper archives in the hope of tracking down anyone who might have a connection to him. Gradually she started to unpick Dines’ lies. | Steel feared he might harm himself. It was the last she heard from him; she didn’t even know if he was still alive. With dogged persistence, she set about trying to find him, and over the next few years she conducted an extraordinary search that would even take her to New Zealand to pore over newspaper archives in the hope of tracking down anyone who might have a connection to him. Gradually she started to unpick Dines’ lies. |
| At the time, she had other pressures. She was one of two activists being sued by McDonald’s in the long-running McLibel trial. Once, after she had been in court all day, she was walking past St Catherine’s House, then the general register office, and it struck her that Dines may have been using a different name, perhaps even the name of a dead child. What made her think that? “I have no idea. I had vaguely heard of that tactic being used, but I had never thought of it before.” | At the time, she had other pressures. She was one of two activists being sued by McDonald’s in the long-running McLibel trial. Once, after she had been in court all day, she was walking past St Catherine’s House, then the general register office, and it struck her that Dines may have been using a different name, perhaps even the name of a dead child. What made her think that? “I have no idea. I had vaguely heard of that tactic being used, but I had never thought of it before.” |
| Sure enough, she found the death certificate of the real John Barker, an eight-year-old boy who had died of leukaemia, “and the bottom dropped out of my world. It was horrendous. Here was this person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and all of a sudden he doesn’t exist. I didn’t even know his name. If you can live with someone for two years without realising they’re not who they say they are, then what else is going on around you that might not be real?” | Sure enough, she found the death certificate of the real John Barker, an eight-year-old boy who had died of leukaemia, “and the bottom dropped out of my world. It was horrendous. Here was this person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and all of a sudden he doesn’t exist. I didn’t even know his name. If you can live with someone for two years without realising they’re not who they say they are, then what else is going on around you that might not be real?” |
| Steel found no record of his parents’ deaths. Remembering the name of an aunt he’d mentioned, she found a small announcement in an old New Zealand newspaper that showed this aunt might, in fact, be his mother-in-law. | Steel found no record of his parents’ deaths. Remembering the name of an aunt he’d mentioned, she found a small announcement in an old New Zealand newspaper that showed this aunt might, in fact, be his mother-in-law. |
| When she later found his marriage certificate, she says, “I remember my blood running cold and thinking I was going to faint. I called up a friend and said, ‘Come over quickly’, and I was just crying my eyes out. And then this feeling of, ‘Who can I talk to about this?’ If he’s not who he says he is, who else isn’t who they say they are? So it was this whole thing of not being able to talk to people. That’s one of the ways people get over grief – being able to talk it through.” | When she later found his marriage certificate, she says, “I remember my blood running cold and thinking I was going to faint. I called up a friend and said, ‘Come over quickly’, and I was just crying my eyes out. And then this feeling of, ‘Who can I talk to about this?’ If he’s not who he says he is, who else isn’t who they say they are? So it was this whole thing of not being able to talk to people. That’s one of the ways people get over grief – being able to talk it through.” |
| What drove her on? “Wanting to know the truth,” she says. “Someone going missing is worse than a bereavement in a lot of ways. With a bereavement, you’ve got a body to bury, other people acknowledge your loss, and it’s something you can come to terms with over time. With a missing person you’re in limbo – is this person going to come back? Should I move on with my life? Is he in danger?” | What drove her on? “Wanting to know the truth,” she says. “Someone going missing is worse than a bereavement in a lot of ways. With a bereavement, you’ve got a body to bury, other people acknowledge your loss, and it’s something you can come to terms with over time. With a missing person you’re in limbo – is this person going to come back? Should I move on with my life? Is he in danger?” |
| The fallout from the relationship has affected the rest of her life. For many years, Steel, now 49, didn’t want to meet anybody else because she was still in love with Dines and hoped he would come back. When it started becoming clear she had been deceived, that made other relationships extremely difficult. “You’re always wondering if this person is who they say they are – can I trust them enough to have a relationship? All of us [the women affected] have had difficulties with later relationships.” | The fallout from the relationship has affected the rest of her life. For many years, Steel, now 49, didn’t want to meet anybody else because she was still in love with Dines and hoped he would come back. When it started becoming clear she had been deceived, that made other relationships extremely difficult. “You’re always wondering if this person is who they say they are – can I trust them enough to have a relationship? All of us [the women affected] have had difficulties with later relationships.” |
| It was only after getting confirmation from another woman in the group that Dines was an undercover officer that Steel says she has been able to move on – more than 20 years after he disappeared. | It was only after getting confirmation from another woman in the group that Dines was an undercover officer that Steel says she has been able to move on – more than 20 years after he disappeared. |
| Meeting the other women and sharing experiences has helped. “It’s been a massive source of strength, being able to talk to other people who have been in the same situation and who understand what it does to your head.” | Meeting the other women and sharing experiences has helped. “It’s been a massive source of strength, being able to talk to other people who have been in the same situation and who understand what it does to your head.” |
| Steel says they all question how they couldn’t have noticed the lies, “but the reality is that it isn’t like normal lying. They have the whole backing of the state – they’ve got false driving licences, passports, jobs. You’ve got no chance against all of that.” | Steel says they all question how they couldn’t have noticed the lies, “but the reality is that it isn’t like normal lying. They have the whole backing of the state – they’ve got false driving licences, passports, jobs. You’ve got no chance against all of that.” |
| Steel hasn’t seen Dines since he left. Would she want to? “Not really. I did, for years, hoping that he would be able to answer questions about why this happened: why me? Were any of the feelings genuine? All that kind of stuff. But I’ve come to realise it would be pointless, because they are so well trained in lying and manipulation.” | Steel hasn’t seen Dines since he left. Would she want to? “Not really. I did, for years, hoping that he would be able to answer questions about why this happened: why me? Were any of the feelings genuine? All that kind of stuff. But I’ve come to realise it would be pointless, because they are so well trained in lying and manipulation.” |
| The ideal outcome, she says, would be to stop this from happening again. “The way to go about that is a mixture of raising awareness, making sure the police acknowledge that it shouldn’t have happened and apologise for it – and I do think they should compensate, although I think it’s impossible to compensate for what they’ve done, because you can’t get your life back; you can’t return to the state you were in before they did this. For some of us, it’s meant the loss of the opportunity to have children – you can’t recover that.” Has it meant that for her? “Yeah,” she says. | The ideal outcome, she says, would be to stop this from happening again. “The way to go about that is a mixture of raising awareness, making sure the police acknowledge that it shouldn’t have happened and apologise for it – and I do think they should compensate, although I think it’s impossible to compensate for what they’ve done, because you can’t get your life back; you can’t return to the state you were in before they did this. For some of us, it’s meant the loss of the opportunity to have children – you can’t recover that.” Has it meant that for her? “Yeah,” she says. |
| For Steel, all this could come at a huge financial cost. There is no legal aid, and the legal insurance she took out doesn’t cover appeals, so she is going it alone: “It’s a big risk, but I’m that angry that I’m going to take it.” | For Steel, all this could come at a huge financial cost. There is no legal aid, and the legal insurance she took out doesn’t cover appeals, so she is going it alone: “It’s a big risk, but I’m that angry that I’m going to take it.” |
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