Rob Huebel: The First Time I Filmed a Threeway for TV

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/10/arts/television/rob-huebel-transparent.html

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I promise I’m not bragging. I know it might seem like I am, but I’m not. I never asked to film a three-way sex scene for TV. But that’s what happened this past year. No big deal, just part of my job. What’s your job?

If you don’t know my name, you might know my face. I’m one of those actors who pop up in a lot of different TV shows and movies. Sometimes people stop me in airports and make me list things they might watch until they can place me. It’s an odd game. Let’s play: “Childrens Hospital”? “The League”? “The Office”? “I Love You, Man”? “The Descendants”? Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man (an old commercial)? Still nothing? Did we go to high school together?

One of my favorite jobs is playing Len on Amazon’s “Transparent.” I’m the ex-husband of Sarah Pfefferman (Amy Landecker) on the show. I know, I know: “Those Pfefferman kids are so selfish and unlikable!” Well, who wants to spend time with likable people anyway?

If you’re behind on the show, allow me to catch you up (spoilers ahead). Way back in Season 1 Sarah left me and our two kids to marry a woman. Shortly thereafter she left that woman (at the altar! Ha Ha!) and got into some pretty kinky BDSM stuff. Eventually she came back to me (sort of). I think she’s never going to figure out what makes her happy. But Len just tries and tries to please her.

Anyway, I’m getting a lot of text messages and emails about this new season of “Transparent,” mostly emotional reviews from my circle of friends. But a lot of people are texting me very personal questions about this “throuple” situation in which my character finds himself entangled. You see, my ex-wife has brought a third person into our bed, Lila (the incredible Alia Shawkat). I’m not sure why my friends and family are so curious about having sex with two people at the same time, but here are some frequently asked questions I’m fielding:

“Don’t you think you’re way too old to be sleeping with Maeby Fünke from ‘Arrested Development’?” (Steve, a friend from college)

Me: Hi Steve, didn’t know you still had my number. Look, I don’t write the show. I’m 48, I guess Amy is in her 40s, and poor Alia is 28. So yes, on the surface it seems there is a huge age difference. What’s your point?

“Were you nervous to film these sex scenes because your body is so gross? Did you not realize you were going to be mostly nude on TV?” (Scott, my brother)

Me: I meant to get in shape, I really did. As you know, we had a baby this year (your niece), so it’s been hard to exercise much. Sorry if this was distracting to you.

“What is your wife going to say when she sees this?” (my mom)

Me: Hi mom. We watched it together. We always binge the whole season when it comes out. It was pretty uncomfortable, as you can imagine. I think I forgot to mention that I was shooting those scenes while she was home with the baby. How is dad?

“Were you actually nude? How does that whole thing work?” (Jason, a guy I used to work with)

Me: Really, man? We are nude-ish. Everybody wears flesh-colored bottoms. Mine were like those jobs that ballet dancers wear. The goal is to make everyone as comfortable as possible in a very uncomfortable situation. They even ask people that aren’t needed to leave the set. So it ends up being the three almost-naked people, rolling around in bed with a sweaty camera guy and a grinning sound girl standing over us.

“They pay you to film this smut?” (my dad)

Me: Yes, Dad. How’s Mom?

In all seriousness, I get why people are curious. Most of us will probably never get the opportunity to experience a sexual situation like this. It looks great on paper. But in the real world, to me, it would feel like a lot of work. It’s hard enough to please one person in bed. Another person would just... Zzzzzzzzz. Sorry, I got tired just thinking about it. So many areas to get around to! So many feelings to consider! And I know I’d get jealous and wonder if those other two are having fun without me when I’m not looking. Not to judge. If this is your life and it’s working, more power to you.

This is what I love about “Transparent” and the mind of Jill Soloway, the creator. She’s built a world where characters are free to explore every aspect of themselves. Wherever that takes them. No matter the consequences. Another spoiler: In the end, Sarah and Len decide the throuple is not for them. They commit again to keep things just between them. To work hard to keep things fresh, hot, interesting, satisfying, weird. It’s pretty beautiful. But then there’s this huge cliffhanger! You have to watch it. Then text me and tell me what you think. Oh God, I hope she doesn’t dump me again.