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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/nov/21/getting-on-a-plane-last-ba-seat
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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
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| Getting on a plane last if I’ve got the cheapest ticket? Sounds like a good deal | Getting on a plane last if I’ve got the cheapest ticket? Sounds like a good deal |
| (30 days later) | |
| Infrequent flyers have been in a flap this week, following British Airways’ announcement that it is to board passengers according to how much they paid for their ticket. BA claims that the new procedure will simplify the boarding process by allocating all passengers a number between one and five, with five being the lowest of the low and therefore the last to get on. | Infrequent flyers have been in a flap this week, following British Airways’ announcement that it is to board passengers according to how much they paid for their ticket. BA claims that the new procedure will simplify the boarding process by allocating all passengers a number between one and five, with five being the lowest of the low and therefore the last to get on. |
| The hive mind of Twitter, which enjoys change as much as Nigel Farage enjoys a trip to Strasbourg, has reacted with clinical sang-froid. Only kidding. It all kicked off, with some complaining that the policy was tantamount to introducing poor doors to the skies, with BA flying the flag for the British class system. | The hive mind of Twitter, which enjoys change as much as Nigel Farage enjoys a trip to Strasbourg, has reacted with clinical sang-froid. Only kidding. It all kicked off, with some complaining that the policy was tantamount to introducing poor doors to the skies, with BA flying the flag for the British class system. |
| With the best will in the world, I’m finding it hard to see what all the fuss is about. When I’m about to spend 12 hours in the air en route to Japan, the last thing I want is to add any more time to that by paying an extra two grand to get on first, thus spending an additional 30 minutes in a seat that will feel like it’s been seam-welded to my backside by the time we arrive. | With the best will in the world, I’m finding it hard to see what all the fuss is about. When I’m about to spend 12 hours in the air en route to Japan, the last thing I want is to add any more time to that by paying an extra two grand to get on first, thus spending an additional 30 minutes in a seat that will feel like it’s been seam-welded to my backside by the time we arrive. |
| In flying, as in many things, I find my demands are simple, and closely match those of the late comedian Dave Allen, namely: | In flying, as in many things, I find my demands are simple, and closely match those of the late comedian Dave Allen, namely: |
| 1. Will it get in the air? | 1. Will it get in the air? |
| 2. Will it stay in the air? | 2. Will it stay in the air? |
| 3. Will it descend from the air where it’s supposed to? | 3. Will it descend from the air where it’s supposed to? |
| Anything else – food, water, unlimited gin and tonic, or a toilet that actually flushes – I regard as a bonus. | Anything else – food, water, unlimited gin and tonic, or a toilet that actually flushes – I regard as a bonus. |
| Besides which, none of this is really new. The great luxury ocean liners of the Titanic’s generation may have had Turkish baths and swimming pools on the upper decks, but they also had steerage and a poor-door boarding system that still rings true: “Turn right on entering, sir, and don’t stop until you reach the rudder.” | Besides which, none of this is really new. The great luxury ocean liners of the Titanic’s generation may have had Turkish baths and swimming pools on the upper decks, but they also had steerage and a poor-door boarding system that still rings true: “Turn right on entering, sir, and don’t stop until you reach the rudder.” |
| The main difference today is that in the event of Allen’s condition two remaining unmet, the chances of my survival are at least equal to those with fatter wallets. Class war-wise, that’s surely a step in the right direction. | The main difference today is that in the event of Allen’s condition two remaining unmet, the chances of my survival are at least equal to those with fatter wallets. Class war-wise, that’s surely a step in the right direction. |
| Unless, of course, this is the start of something else. | Unless, of course, this is the start of something else. |
| In the United States, carriers including Delta and American Airlines have been experimenting with a new class, called “basic economy”. The Economist reports that even Delta’s president admits this is a product that “people don’t really want”. | In the United States, carriers including Delta and American Airlines have been experimenting with a new class, called “basic economy”. The Economist reports that even Delta’s president admits this is a product that “people don’t really want”. |
| So why are these American airlines so keen? | So why are these American airlines so keen? |
| The theory is that “basic economy” will allow them to bump up the prices they charge for other classes by quietly redefining customer expectations. One suspects that soon the feasibility of outside toilets may also be explored, along with paper plates, or perhaps a communal trough for passengers who have brought their own soft-plastic spoon. There is no suggestion that a scintilla of a shadow of an inkling of a thought of introducing this has ever crossed BA’s corporate mind. | The theory is that “basic economy” will allow them to bump up the prices they charge for other classes by quietly redefining customer expectations. One suspects that soon the feasibility of outside toilets may also be explored, along with paper plates, or perhaps a communal trough for passengers who have brought their own soft-plastic spoon. There is no suggestion that a scintilla of a shadow of an inkling of a thought of introducing this has ever crossed BA’s corporate mind. |
| And anyway, it could be worse. | And anyway, it could be worse. |
| Back in 2010, we were all told that we’d soon be forced to stand up on shorter flights, as threatened by Ryanair’s shy and retiring chief executive Michael O’Leary. This idea now appears to have faded, though no one seems to have informed the inventors of the SkyRider, a saddle seat that its Italian designers claim could increase passenger capacity by 40%, with a corresponding drop in fares. If these seats were ever fitted to a passenger aircraft, I imagine there would be considerably less of a rush to get on first, though 400 travellers, chafed and saddle-sore after a delayed departure and bumpy landing, might happily part with extra cash to be allowed off. Gently. | Back in 2010, we were all told that we’d soon be forced to stand up on shorter flights, as threatened by Ryanair’s shy and retiring chief executive Michael O’Leary. This idea now appears to have faded, though no one seems to have informed the inventors of the SkyRider, a saddle seat that its Italian designers claim could increase passenger capacity by 40%, with a corresponding drop in fares. If these seats were ever fitted to a passenger aircraft, I imagine there would be considerably less of a rush to get on first, though 400 travellers, chafed and saddle-sore after a delayed departure and bumpy landing, might happily part with extra cash to be allowed off. Gently. |
| • Nigel Kendall is a freelance journalist | • Nigel Kendall is a freelance journalist |
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