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| I'm queer and undocumented: how I came out twice | |
| (2 days later) | |
| Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. | Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. |
| You’re a child. You’re five years old. You leave the country you were born in for another. You’re with your mother, and all you have is a few belongings, the promise of seeing your father again, and the hope for a better tomorrow. | You’re a child. You’re five years old. You leave the country you were born in for another. You’re with your mother, and all you have is a few belongings, the promise of seeing your father again, and the hope for a better tomorrow. |
| Once you arrive to the new country, you live near one of its international borders. You do not have legal citizenship status, making you vulnerable. | Once you arrive to the new country, you live near one of its international borders. You do not have legal citizenship status, making you vulnerable. |
| As you grow older, you also begin to see your queerness showing, in your voice, character, and mannerisms, but you do not quite understand it, or what a gift it will be in your life one day. You carry these secrets with you everywhere you go, unable to speak your truth. | As you grow older, you also begin to see your queerness showing, in your voice, character, and mannerisms, but you do not quite understand it, or what a gift it will be in your life one day. You carry these secrets with you everywhere you go, unable to speak your truth. |
| That is, until you develop the courage, learn how to and come out twice: once as undocumented, and another as queer. | That is, until you develop the courage, learn how to and come out twice: once as undocumented, and another as queer. |
| My name is Jesus Daniel. I am 24 years old, and I am one of 800,000 Daca recipients, and one of an estimated 267,000 immigrants who are queer and undocumented. | My name is Jesus Daniel. I am 24 years old, and I am one of 800,000 Daca recipients, and one of an estimated 267,000 immigrants who are queer and undocumented. |
| I was born in south-western Mexico on the coast of Guerrero. My mom and I arrived in the San Diego border region in 1998. Since then, my family has built a home on this side of the border while simultaneously sustaining our connections to Mexico by sending remittances, staying in touch via phone calls, Facebook and other digital means. | I was born in south-western Mexico on the coast of Guerrero. My mom and I arrived in the San Diego border region in 1998. Since then, my family has built a home on this side of the border while simultaneously sustaining our connections to Mexico by sending remittances, staying in touch via phone calls, Facebook and other digital means. |
| Soon after our arrival on this side of the border, I learned that my parents and I were undocumented. At that age I did not know the obstacles we would face on our journey to establishing a better life, or the day-to-day anxieties caused by the fear of family separation. | Soon after our arrival on this side of the border, I learned that my parents and I were undocumented. At that age I did not know the obstacles we would face on our journey to establishing a better life, or the day-to-day anxieties caused by the fear of family separation. |
| We lived with a paternal aunt and her family before moving out on our own. I began elementary school in 1998 as a first-grader. As I mentioned, I knew we were undocumented but we did not use that language to describe ourselves: we used coded language, spoke of our immigration status as being sin papeles, literally translated to without papers. | We lived with a paternal aunt and her family before moving out on our own. I began elementary school in 1998 as a first-grader. As I mentioned, I knew we were undocumented but we did not use that language to describe ourselves: we used coded language, spoke of our immigration status as being sin papeles, literally translated to without papers. |
| Here in the border region – one in five Dreamers live in border counties, and about half of them live in the four southern border states of California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas – our communities are patrolled by thousands of abusive and unaccountable Border Patrol Agents who roam our communities and separate families. | Here in the border region – one in five Dreamers live in border counties, and about half of them live in the four southern border states of California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas – our communities are patrolled by thousands of abusive and unaccountable Border Patrol Agents who roam our communities and separate families. |
| I remember coming into proximity with police officers and Border Patrol agents throughout my life: each time, my body would tense up, the nervousness would grow, and I would force myself to sit up straight and make sure I was “well-behaved”, even though that does not mean anything sitting in a car. | I remember coming into proximity with police officers and Border Patrol agents throughout my life: each time, my body would tense up, the nervousness would grow, and I would force myself to sit up straight and make sure I was “well-behaved”, even though that does not mean anything sitting in a car. |
| At school, I would proudly share with classmates that I was born in Mexico – and in a way that was also how I let them know I was undocumented. At the time, I assumed that all people born in Mexico did not have papers, so that made me feel less fear about sharing. While I lived with this understanding of my immigration status, I also experienced feeling “different”. | At school, I would proudly share with classmates that I was born in Mexico – and in a way that was also how I let them know I was undocumented. At the time, I assumed that all people born in Mexico did not have papers, so that made me feel less fear about sharing. While I lived with this understanding of my immigration status, I also experienced feeling “different”. |
| In hindsight these fears feel irrational – but in that moment they were very real, debilitating and scary | In hindsight these fears feel irrational – but in that moment they were very real, debilitating and scary |
| I remember being a shy and quiet boy – at least before feeling comfortable to be my whole self. I developed crushes on other boys in my classroom, but was not able to express it, share it, or let it out, in part because I did not understand my feelings. It was not until sophomore year of high school that I started processing my sexuality. | I remember being a shy and quiet boy – at least before feeling comfortable to be my whole self. I developed crushes on other boys in my classroom, but was not able to express it, share it, or let it out, in part because I did not understand my feelings. It was not until sophomore year of high school that I started processing my sexuality. |
| That same year, I started being involved in a local church youth group with other youth my age. Coming face to face with Catholicism and its set of beliefs forced me to poke at my internalized homophobia and self-hate in order to meet my authentic self. | That same year, I started being involved in a local church youth group with other youth my age. Coming face to face with Catholicism and its set of beliefs forced me to poke at my internalized homophobia and self-hate in order to meet my authentic self. |
| Happening simultaneously, I remember hesitating to share my immigration status with teachers and counselors for fear of this impacting their view of me, my family or my potential to succeed in education. | Happening simultaneously, I remember hesitating to share my immigration status with teachers and counselors for fear of this impacting their view of me, my family or my potential to succeed in education. |
| The same fear gripped me for weeks before I came out to my very close friends. I was afraid of losing them, and fearful that their parents would tell them to stop being my friend. | The same fear gripped me for weeks before I came out to my very close friends. I was afraid of losing them, and fearful that their parents would tell them to stop being my friend. |
| In hindsight these fears feel slightly irrational – but in that moment in my life they were very real, debilitating and scary. | In hindsight these fears feel slightly irrational – but in that moment in my life they were very real, debilitating and scary. |
| In May 2013, I was granted Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (Daca) after Obama’s executive order was announced on 15 June 2012. | In May 2013, I was granted Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (Daca) after Obama’s executive order was announced on 15 June 2012. |
| As a Daca recipient, paired with my community involvement, I have been able to face my internalized fear of police officers and Border Patrol agents. I have been able to enter the social justice workforce, apply for a California ID and driver’s license, and help financially provide for my mixed status family. | As a Daca recipient, paired with my community involvement, I have been able to face my internalized fear of police officers and Border Patrol agents. I have been able to enter the social justice workforce, apply for a California ID and driver’s license, and help financially provide for my mixed status family. |
| This progress is now in jeopardy, as the Trump administration terminated the program – which is why we are now fighting for a bipartisan Clean Dream Act to protect Dreamers and our families without further militarizing the border region. | This progress is now in jeopardy, as the Trump administration terminated the program – which is why we are now fighting for a bipartisan Clean Dream Act to protect Dreamers and our families without further militarizing the border region. |
| In the current political climate, it may be hard to be ourselves in our wholeness – but that is exactly what the world needs from us. | In the current political climate, it may be hard to be ourselves in our wholeness – but that is exactly what the world needs from us. |
| Yes, growing up in the southern border region as undocumented and queer has been challenging. But I could not have imagined that I would be here today, writing an article about my experience to advocate for policies that uplift immigrant and refugee communities. | Yes, growing up in the southern border region as undocumented and queer has been challenging. But I could not have imagined that I would be here today, writing an article about my experience to advocate for policies that uplift immigrant and refugee communities. |
| For those of you reading who are undocumented and/or LGBTQ but not “out,” I want to tell you that you are not alone, not now and not ever. There are others like you out in the world – and you will find them. There is strength in numbers. | For those of you reading who are undocumented and/or LGBTQ but not “out,” I want to tell you that you are not alone, not now and not ever. There are others like you out in the world – and you will find them. There is strength in numbers. |
| Dream Act | Dream Act |
| We're Here To Stay: Dreamers take over Guardian US | We're Here To Stay: Dreamers take over Guardian US |
| Mexico | Mexico |
| Americas | Americas |
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