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| 'It's about making them feel at home': meet the couple who give a bed to the homeless | |
| (about 3 hours later) | |
| Heather Lister has lost count of how many young homeless people have slept in this bed. She and her husband, Richard Drake, try to work out the numbers before giving up. “It’s well over 100 now,” Heather eventually says. | |
| We are in a small room with a sofa bed, a computer and a few books. Heather and Richard have been hosting young homeless people for almost 10 years through the Nightstop network, run by Depaul, one of the Guardian and Observer’s 2017 appeal charities. When they moved from their house in south Bristol into a retirement flat across the river two years ago they worried that hosting might be difficult. But it hasn’t been. One living room with adjoining kitchen, two bedrooms – what more do you need? | |
| The great thing about hosting, Heather says, is that it is hassle-free. You do it when you want (you tell Nightstop when you are available), you have the place to yourself in the day and you know you are not going to be lumbered with your guest forever. Many people host for one night, but Heather and Richard prefer to do it for three-night stints over a weekend. | The great thing about hosting, Heather says, is that it is hassle-free. You do it when you want (you tell Nightstop when you are available), you have the place to yourself in the day and you know you are not going to be lumbered with your guest forever. Many people host for one night, but Heather and Richard prefer to do it for three-night stints over a weekend. |
| They provide an evening meal and breakfast, a shower and a bed – and that’s about it. “It is easy, and yet it can make a huge difference to the young person at that point in their lives,” Richard says. All you need is a spare room, and a generous spirit. | They provide an evening meal and breakfast, a shower and a bed – and that’s about it. “It is easy, and yet it can make a huge difference to the young person at that point in their lives,” Richard says. All you need is a spare room, and a generous spirit. |
| Nightstop works with people before they have become long-term homeless. Often they have fallen out with family or partners, cannot afford to rent a room, have run out of sofas to surf on, and need a few nights’ stability to get them back on track. While volunteers such as Richard and Heather host the young people (aged 16-25), Nightstop helps them find more a permanent home. | |
| Heather remembers how worried they were before the first guest came to stay. Initially, she says, she thought she had to be the hostess with the mostest – forever entertaining their guests. Now she is more relaxed about it. She realises the important thing is to make them feel at home, and that the best way to do this is not to put on a show. “What makes people coming through the door feel welcome is that you’re ordinary. It’s not making a special thing about it, it’s just about making them feel at home. We ask them if they would like to watch TV with us, and often they do. Some people are so tired when they arrive they just want to go to sleep,” she says. | |
| “The impression we give the guests is we’re an old couple who watch the telly all evening,” Richard says. “The funny thing is that normally we’re actually out loads of the time doing stuff. So this gives us a chance to stay in and slow down.” | “The impression we give the guests is we’re an old couple who watch the telly all evening,” Richard says. “The funny thing is that normally we’re actually out loads of the time doing stuff. So this gives us a chance to stay in and slow down.” |
| Both are volunteering veterans. Heather supports street sex workers while Richard helps at a night shelter for the homeless. “What I like about Nightstop is that it is preventive: helping people before they go downhill.” | Both are volunteering veterans. Heather supports street sex workers while Richard helps at a night shelter for the homeless. “What I like about Nightstop is that it is preventive: helping people before they go downhill.” |
| Heather says personal experience recently reinforced just how easy it is to become homeless. She looks at Richard. “Can I tell this little story?” He nods. “This year my eldest son became homeless when his partner of 26 years threw him out and installed a new man. If he had not been able to sofa surf with us and his brothers for a while he would have been on the street. He had a good job, but there was no way he could find something like 1,500 quid for a room.” | Heather says personal experience recently reinforced just how easy it is to become homeless. She looks at Richard. “Can I tell this little story?” He nods. “This year my eldest son became homeless when his partner of 26 years threw him out and installed a new man. If he had not been able to sofa surf with us and his brothers for a while he would have been on the street. He had a good job, but there was no way he could find something like 1,500 quid for a room.” |
| Nightstop does not encourage volunteers to develop a relationship with their guests. As its name suggests, this is just a brief stop. Volunteers are not there to provide counselling or financial support. In fact, volunteers are not allowed to give money to their guests. “We aren’t there to sort out their problems, but we do provide a listening ear,” Heather says. | Nightstop does not encourage volunteers to develop a relationship with their guests. As its name suggests, this is just a brief stop. Volunteers are not there to provide counselling or financial support. In fact, volunteers are not allowed to give money to their guests. “We aren’t there to sort out their problems, but we do provide a listening ear,” Heather says. |
| What has struck them over the years is the variety of people who have stayed with them: impecunious young professionals, a trafficking victim, a woman who thought their home was incredibly posh, an asylum seeker who had just been granted leave to remain (“I asked him do you like England?” Heather says. “And I’ll never forget his expression. His face just lit up, and he said: ‘You can walk out of the house without being shot at.’ God! Sometimes you get bigger answers than you expect”). “By and large they are great,” says Richard. | |
| They talk about how the nature of homelessness has changed over the past decade. “The number of people in work who have to use shelter facilities has increased,” Richard says. “When I started working at the night shelter almost everybody was just out of prison or had addiction problems. They were troubled people who were going to be difficult to help. There are many more people now who just haven’t got the money to rent somewhere to live.” | They talk about how the nature of homelessness has changed over the past decade. “The number of people in work who have to use shelter facilities has increased,” Richard says. “When I started working at the night shelter almost everybody was just out of prison or had addiction problems. They were troubled people who were going to be difficult to help. There are many more people now who just haven’t got the money to rent somewhere to live.” |
| They say hosting has changed them, too. Richard now believes that you can achieve more through individual than collective action. “If you want to change a culture you do it by doing stuff locally, in your community. I find that much more satisfying than shouting with a bunch of lefties at a Momentum march. Just do something quietly and get on with it.” | They say hosting has changed them, too. Richard now believes that you can achieve more through individual than collective action. “If you want to change a culture you do it by doing stuff locally, in your community. I find that much more satisfying than shouting with a bunch of lefties at a Momentum march. Just do something quietly and get on with it.” |
| As for Heather, she is convinced that hosting keeps them young. “There is a risk as you become older you get more stuck in your ways, more small-c conservative. It’s happened to a lot of friends we know. Doing this sort of thing prevents that happening a bit. I think it keeps you healthily inquisitive and receptive to ideas.” | As for Heather, she is convinced that hosting keeps them young. “There is a risk as you become older you get more stuck in your ways, more small-c conservative. It’s happened to a lot of friends we know. Doing this sort of thing prevents that happening a bit. I think it keeps you healthily inquisitive and receptive to ideas.” |
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