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A Christmas marriage proposal brought joy to my children's ward A Christmas marriage proposal brought joy to my children's ward
(30 days later)
A new dad had prepared to pop the question – but his baby’s medical emergency scuppered his original plans. Yet there was a Christmas surprise in store
As told to
Sarah Johnson
Thu 21 Dec 2017 12.48 GMT
Last modified on Thu 21 Dec 2017 12.50 GMT
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Nobody really likes working at Christmas, but as a nurse it goes with the job; someone’s got to do it. You know that’s what you get when you start nursing. It’s not the end of the world.Nobody really likes working at Christmas, but as a nurse it goes with the job; someone’s got to do it. You know that’s what you get when you start nursing. It’s not the end of the world.
In the neonatal unit where I work now, you see parents under the worst stress of their lives. There are babies born at 26 weeks, some of them earlier, and they’re ventilated. Parents are never sure if their baby’s going to get home. We do get some babies that die and a few that have long term complications, but on the whole, there isn’t much sadness.In the neonatal unit where I work now, you see parents under the worst stress of their lives. There are babies born at 26 weeks, some of them earlier, and they’re ventilated. Parents are never sure if their baby’s going to get home. We do get some babies that die and a few that have long term complications, but on the whole, there isn’t much sadness.
I enjoy watching the journey of parents whose babies are born three months early, and who eventually get to return home with their little one. On the children’s and neonatal wards, there is less sadness than in A&E, say – or on wards for people with life-limiting conditions or dementia.I enjoy watching the journey of parents whose babies are born three months early, and who eventually get to return home with their little one. On the children’s and neonatal wards, there is less sadness than in A&E, say – or on wards for people with life-limiting conditions or dementia.
You try and make Christmas a big family event; siblings and grandparents come in. You do have to be mindful of the fact that some people don’t want that, though, like the parents who may have recently lost a twin, or whose baby is critically ill and who have to spend their child’s first Christmas in hospital. Not everybody wants a jolly, happy Christmas, so you just have to bear everybody’s needs in mind.You try and make Christmas a big family event; siblings and grandparents come in. You do have to be mindful of the fact that some people don’t want that, though, like the parents who may have recently lost a twin, or whose baby is critically ill and who have to spend their child’s first Christmas in hospital. Not everybody wants a jolly, happy Christmas, so you just have to bear everybody’s needs in mind.
One Christmas some years ago, I was working on a children’s ward. One of my patients was a baby who was a few weeks old. The baby had been born prematurely and gone home, but had then returned to hospital with a chest infection – a common occurrence with premature births.One Christmas some years ago, I was working on a children’s ward. One of my patients was a baby who was a few weeks old. The baby had been born prematurely and gone home, but had then returned to hospital with a chest infection – a common occurrence with premature births.
The father had confided in the team on duty that he had originally planned to propose to his partner, the mother of the baby, on Christmas Day. The baby wasn’t due until after new year and he had thought about getting up on Christmas morning and opening presents, one of which would contain an engagement ring. That was out of the window now, he said.The father had confided in the team on duty that he had originally planned to propose to his partner, the mother of the baby, on Christmas Day. The baby wasn’t due until after new year and he had thought about getting up on Christmas morning and opening presents, one of which would contain an engagement ring. That was out of the window now, he said.
It was a stressful time for the pair. Not only were they worrying about their baby and whether it was going to get better, they had the added worry of having Christmas dinner all planned and relatives coming, all of which was now cancelled.It was a stressful time for the pair. Not only were they worrying about their baby and whether it was going to get better, they had the added worry of having Christmas dinner all planned and relatives coming, all of which was now cancelled.
Despite all this, the father decided he was going to go ahead and propose. The baby was in a separate room where the mother had stayed overnight. He had gone home and when he came in in the morning, his partner went for a shower. He put the engagement ring in the baby’s cot with a note that read “Please will you marry my daddy?”Despite all this, the father decided he was going to go ahead and propose. The baby was in a separate room where the mother had stayed overnight. He had gone home and when he came in in the morning, his partner went for a shower. He put the engagement ring in the baby’s cot with a note that read “Please will you marry my daddy?”
The team on duty were in on the secret. We all knew it was going to happen at some point, but we also knew there had to be peace and quiet, and that we couldn’t hang around too much. There was a feeling that this was going to be a nice day, but nobody knew anything about it apart from the father (and us).The team on duty were in on the secret. We all knew it was going to happen at some point, but we also knew there had to be peace and quiet, and that we couldn’t hang around too much. There was a feeling that this was going to be a nice day, but nobody knew anything about it apart from the father (and us).
I don’t know what went on between the two of them inside the room when she saw the ring, but I did hear lots of shrieking, yelling and tears. His now fiancee came out of the room and said: “Look, look! Look what I’ve got!” There were tears all round. Other parents picked up what was going on, and it was a happy morning.I don’t know what went on between the two of them inside the room when she saw the ring, but I did hear lots of shrieking, yelling and tears. His now fiancee came out of the room and said: “Look, look! Look what I’ve got!” There were tears all round. Other parents picked up what was going on, and it was a happy morning.
It’s awful that children have to spend Christmas in hospital – there are those with long-term conditions, for example, who have to be in there for a few weeks. But the Christmas Day proposal was brilliant. It lifted the mood for the day. It made me think that nice things do happen in the world.It’s awful that children have to spend Christmas in hospital – there are those with long-term conditions, for example, who have to be in there for a few weeks. But the Christmas Day proposal was brilliant. It lifted the mood for the day. It made me think that nice things do happen in the world.
If you would like to contribute to our Blood, sweat and tears series about experiences in healthcare, read our guidelines and get in touch by emailing sarah.johnson@theguardian.com.If you would like to contribute to our Blood, sweat and tears series about experiences in healthcare, read our guidelines and get in touch by emailing sarah.johnson@theguardian.com.
Join the Healthcare Professionals Network to read more pieces like this. And follow us on Twitter (@GdnHealthcare) to keep up with the latest healthcare news and views.Join the Healthcare Professionals Network to read more pieces like this. And follow us on Twitter (@GdnHealthcare) to keep up with the latest healthcare news and views.
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