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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/dec/22/carols-nativity-christmas-nostalgia-us-religion
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| Carols and a nativity play are all part of Christmas nostalgia | Carols and a nativity play are all part of Christmas nostalgia |
| (25 days later) | |
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| Fri 22 Dec 2017 14.52 GMT | |
| Last modified on Fri 22 Dec 2017 14.54 GMT | |
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| We are going to church on Christmas Eve, much to my surprise and the surprise of everyone we know. “What, Catholic?” asked my children’s babysitter suspiciously, after she’d stopped laughing. | We are going to church on Christmas Eve, much to my surprise and the surprise of everyone we know. “What, Catholic?” asked my children’s babysitter suspiciously, after she’d stopped laughing. |
| “No.” | “No.” |
| “Methodist?” | “Methodist?” |
| “No, Unitarian. Wait – Church of Christ? I have no idea. Just regular Christian.” | “No, Unitarian. Wait – Church of Christ? I have no idea. Just regular Christian.” |
| As with everything in America, there are simultaneously too many choices and nothing that quite fits the bill, which is rural Church of England circa 1984. I want a structure with large chunks of grey masonry, a lych gate, holly, ivy, a draught round my ankles, and insufficient lighting. I want my kids to be bored and cold, and forced to remember the words to the Coventry Carol while someone in authority regards them crossly from the nave. | As with everything in America, there are simultaneously too many choices and nothing that quite fits the bill, which is rural Church of England circa 1984. I want a structure with large chunks of grey masonry, a lych gate, holly, ivy, a draught round my ankles, and insufficient lighting. I want my kids to be bored and cold, and forced to remember the words to the Coventry Carol while someone in authority regards them crossly from the nave. |
| The church we are going to, by contrast – and with a wonderful history, rich in social justice and guest speakers such as Martin Luther King – has heated pews and a children’s service. | The church we are going to, by contrast – and with a wonderful history, rich in social justice and guest speakers such as Martin Luther King – has heated pews and a children’s service. |
| Thanks to the “war on Christmas”, there is no nativity play at my children’s preschool and, while I’m fine with that, it does mean that any instruction on Mary and Joseph falls to me. It also exposes those biases that having children flushes out: the gravitational pull towards one’s own experience that, in the case of religion, even for those of us who have barely set foot in a church since we were made to as children, has an irresistible moral force; a combination of God and discomfort surely guarantees it will be Good For Them. | Thanks to the “war on Christmas”, there is no nativity play at my children’s preschool and, while I’m fine with that, it does mean that any instruction on Mary and Joseph falls to me. It also exposes those biases that having children flushes out: the gravitational pull towards one’s own experience that, in the case of religion, even for those of us who have barely set foot in a church since we were made to as children, has an irresistible moral force; a combination of God and discomfort surely guarantees it will be Good For Them. |
| A few weeks ago we sat through a two-hour service at Park Avenue Synagogue. It was great for a while and then basically unbearable, which seems to me exactly what a religious service should be. It was also a long way from home. | A few weeks ago we sat through a two-hour service at Park Avenue Synagogue. It was great for a while and then basically unbearable, which seems to me exactly what a religious service should be. It was also a long way from home. |
| I want angels with crooked wings and a kid with a dishcloth on his head and a terrified eight-year-old speeding through “wrapped-him-in-swaddling-clothes-and-laid-him-in-a-manger”, and a donkey that keeps wandering off. The church of my youth appears practically swathed in dry ice in my memory and I realise what I want isn’t worship but nostalgia. | I want angels with crooked wings and a kid with a dishcloth on his head and a terrified eight-year-old speeding through “wrapped-him-in-swaddling-clothes-and-laid-him-in-a-manger”, and a donkey that keeps wandering off. The church of my youth appears practically swathed in dry ice in my memory and I realise what I want isn’t worship but nostalgia. |
| To bitcoin or not to bitcoin? | To bitcoin or not to bitcoin? |
| I had a few hours to kill between kids, work and shopping this week and, instead of ploughing through admin, sat at my desk and indulged in a growing obsession: dithering over whether to buy bitcoin. | I had a few hours to kill between kids, work and shopping this week and, instead of ploughing through admin, sat at my desk and indulged in a growing obsession: dithering over whether to buy bitcoin. |
| I know the answer is no (probably). It’s gambling. You can’t put down anything you’re not prepared to lose, and you probably will lose it, say experts who may understand these things. But the numbers are so eye-popping it is hard to resist – an increase in value of 900% in 2017. | I know the answer is no (probably). It’s gambling. You can’t put down anything you’re not prepared to lose, and you probably will lose it, say experts who may understand these things. But the numbers are so eye-popping it is hard to resist – an increase in value of 900% in 2017. |
| Several times I’ve logged on to Coinbase, the online broker, almost completed my registration, then logged off muttering at my foolishness. “Should I buy bitcoin?” I ask Google. Yes, it says; and no. At this point, I should probably put down 50 bucks just for the recreational value of watching it soar before the crash – and in the unlikely event the crash never comes, as a tiny piece of insurance against future regret. | Several times I’ve logged on to Coinbase, the online broker, almost completed my registration, then logged off muttering at my foolishness. “Should I buy bitcoin?” I ask Google. Yes, it says; and no. At this point, I should probably put down 50 bucks just for the recreational value of watching it soar before the crash – and in the unlikely event the crash never comes, as a tiny piece of insurance against future regret. |
| O tip all ye faithful | O tip all ye faithful |
| An online guide to tipping at Christmas urges us to “remember the little people” this holiday season, then offers this handy list: “Crossing guards, lunch staff, accountants, after-school staff, tutors, and therapists.” School support staff, babysitters and maintenance staff I’m down with. But I think my accountant would be a bit taken aback if I tried to tip him this Christmas. | An online guide to tipping at Christmas urges us to “remember the little people” this holiday season, then offers this handy list: “Crossing guards, lunch staff, accountants, after-school staff, tutors, and therapists.” School support staff, babysitters and maintenance staff I’m down with. But I think my accountant would be a bit taken aback if I tried to tip him this Christmas. |
| As for the inclusion of therapists on the list, perhaps service providers who charge upwards of $350 an hour really do qualify as “little people” in Trump’s America. | As for the inclusion of therapists on the list, perhaps service providers who charge upwards of $350 an hour really do qualify as “little people” in Trump’s America. |
| • Emma Brockes is a Guardian columnist | • Emma Brockes is a Guardian columnist |
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