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Burns Night poem: How to address your haggis | |
(about 20 hours later) | |
Every year Scotland honours its national poet, Robert Burns (1759-1796), on his birthday. | Every year Scotland honours its national poet, Robert Burns (1759-1796), on his birthday. |
Burns wrote over 550 poems in the second half of the 18th century and remains an icon of the Romantic period and a hero for his liberal and socially-minded political outlook. | Burns wrote over 550 poems in the second half of the 18th century and remains an icon of the Romantic period and a hero for his liberal and socially-minded political outlook. |
The centrepiece of the Burns Night festivities remains the noble haggis - a delicacy comprised of a sheep's heart, liver and lungs boiled with mincemeat, suet and onions in its own stomach. | The centrepiece of the Burns Night festivities remains the noble haggis - a delicacy comprised of a sheep's heart, liver and lungs boiled with mincemeat, suet and onions in its own stomach. |
But before the haggis, neeps and tatties can be tucked into, they must be toasted. | But before the haggis, neeps and tatties can be tucked into, they must be toasted. |
Burns himself wrote a poem ideally suited to this purpose, 'Address to a Haggis', an ode it has since become the custom to recite before the meal commences. | Burns himself wrote a poem ideally suited to this purpose, 'Address to a Haggis', an ode it has since become the custom to recite before the meal commences. |
For those whose memory needs jogging, the complete text of the address, written in Burns's inimitable dialect, is below (with an English translation to follow for the uninitiated). | For those whose memory needs jogging, the complete text of the address, written in Burns's inimitable dialect, is below (with an English translation to follow for the uninitiated). |
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, | Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, |
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race! | Great chieftain o the puddin'-race! |
Aboon them a' ye tak your place, | Aboon them a' ye tak your place, |
Painch, tripe, or thairm: | Painch, tripe, or thairm: |
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace | Weel are ye worthy o' a grace |
As lang's my arm. | As lang's my arm. |
The groaning trencher there ye fill, | The groaning trencher there ye fill, |
Your hurdies like a distant hill, | Your hurdies like a distant hill, |
Your pin wad help to mend a mill | Your pin wad help to mend a mill |
In time o need, | In time o need, |
While thro your pores the dews distil | While thro your pores the dews distil |
Like amber bead. | Like amber bead. |
His knife see rustic Labour dight, | His knife see rustic Labour dight, |
An cut you up wi ready slight, | An cut you up wi ready slight, |
Trenching your gushing entrails bright, | Trenching your gushing entrails bright, |
Like onie ditch; | Like onie ditch; |
And then, O what a glorious sight, | And then, O what a glorious sight, |
Warm-reekin, rich! | Warm-reekin, rich! |
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive: | Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive: |
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, | Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, |
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve | Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve |
Are bent like drums; | Are bent like drums; |
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive, | The auld Guidman, maist like to rive, |
'Bethankit' hums. | 'Bethankit' hums. |
Is there that owre his French ragout, | Is there that owre his French ragout, |
Or olio that wad staw a sow, | Or olio that wad staw a sow, |
Or fricassee wad mak her spew | Or fricassee wad mak her spew |
Wi perfect scunner, | Wi perfect scunner, |
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view | Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view |
On sic a dinner? | On sic a dinner? |
Poor devil! see him owre his trash, | Poor devil! see him owre his trash, |
As feckless as a wither'd rash, | As feckless as a wither'd rash, |
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, | His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, |
His nieve a nit; | His nieve a nit; |
Thro bloody flood or field to dash, | Thro bloody flood or field to dash, |
O how unfit! | O how unfit! |
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, | But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, |
The trembling earth resounds his tread, | The trembling earth resounds his tread, |
Clap in his walie nieve a blade, | Clap in his walie nieve a blade, |
He'll make it whissle; | He'll make it whissle; |
An legs an arms, an heads will sned, | An legs an arms, an heads will sned, |
Like taps o thrissle. | Like taps o thrissle. |
Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care, | Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care, |
And dish them out their bill o fare, | And dish them out their bill o fare, |
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware | Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware |
That jaups in luggies: | That jaups in luggies: |
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer, | But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer, |
Gie her a Haggis | Gie her a Haggis |
Good luck to you and your honest, plump face, | Good luck to you and your honest, plump face, |
Great chieftain of the sausage race! | Great chieftain of the sausage race! |
Above them all you take your place, | Above them all you take your place, |
Stomach, tripe, or intestines: | Stomach, tripe, or intestines: |
Well are you worthy of a grace | Well are you worthy of a grace |
As long as my arm. | As long as my arm. |
The groaning trencher there you fill, | The groaning trencher there you fill, |
Your buttocks like a distant hill, | Your buttocks like a distant hill, |
Your pin would help to mend a mill | Your pin would help to mend a mill |
In time of need, | In time of need, |
While through your pores the dews distill | While through your pores the dews distill |
Like amber bead. | Like amber bead. |
His knife see rustic Labour wipe, | His knife see rustic Labour wipe, |
And cut you up with ready slight, | And cut you up with ready slight, |
Trenching your gushing entrails bright, | Trenching your gushing entrails bright, |
Like any ditch; | Like any ditch; |
And then, O what a glorious sight, | And then, O what a glorious sight, |
Warm steaming, rich! | Warm steaming, rich! |
Then spoon for spoon, the stretch and strive: | Then spoon for spoon, the stretch and strive: |
Devil take the hindmost, on they drive, | Devil take the hindmost, on they drive, |
Till all their well swollen bellies by-and-by | Till all their well swollen bellies by-and-by |
Are bent like drums; | Are bent like drums; |
Then old head of the table, most like to burst, | Then old head of the table, most like to burst, |
'The grace!' hums. | 'The grace!' hums. |
Is there that over his French ragout, | Is there that over his French ragout, |
Or olio that would sicken a sow, | Or olio that would sicken a sow, |
Or fricassee would make her vomit | Or fricassee would make her vomit |
With perfect disgust, | With perfect disgust, |
Looks down with sneering, scornful view | Looks down with sneering, scornful view |
On such a dinner? | On such a dinner? |
Poor devil! see him over his trash, | Poor devil! see him over his trash, |
As feeble as a withered rush, | As feeble as a withered rush, |
His thin legs a good whip-lash, | His thin legs a good whip-lash, |
His fist a nut; | His fist a nut; |
Through bloody flood or field to dash, | Through bloody flood or field to dash, |
O how unfit. | O how unfit. |
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, | But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, |
The trembling earth resounds his tread, | The trembling earth resounds his tread, |
Clap in his ample fist a blade, | Clap in his ample fist a blade, |
He'll make it whistle; | He'll make it whistle; |
And legs, and arms, and heads will cut off | And legs, and arms, and heads will cut off |
Like the heads of thistles. | Like the heads of thistles. |
You powers, who make mankind your care, | You powers, who make mankind your care, |
And dish them out their bill of fare, | And dish them out their bill of fare, |
Old Scotland wants no watery stuff, | Old Scotland wants no watery stuff, |
That splashes in small wooden dishes; | That splashes in small wooden dishes; |
But if you wish her grateful prayer, | But if you wish her grateful prayer, |
Give her [Scotland] a Haggis! | Give her [Scotland] a Haggis! |