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Digested week: a rhino, a rotten kipper and a 'national humiliation' Digested week: a rhino, a rotten kipper and a 'national humiliation'
(35 minutes later)
MondayMonday
One of the best family holidays we ever had was on a game reserve in South Africa about 10 years ago. Back then it was normally tricky to get the kids out of bed much before 11, but there were no moans about getting up at six every morning to go on an escorted drive to watch the animals. There was something so magical about being in the presence of such natural beauty. The highlight was coming across three rhinos among a clump of trees. Our jeep crept up to within about 20 metres and we all sat in silence for the best part of an hour, overcome with wonder. So the death of Sudan, the last male northern white rhino, felt more personal than it otherwise might have done. The loss of something precious. I asked the zoologist and author of the totally fabulous book The Unexpected Truth about Animals, Lucy Cooke, whether we should try to save the species through IVF. She said no. Humans should take personal and political responsibility for their own destruction and that our efforts would be better spent trying to save existing species rather than encouraging the belief science was so advanced that there need be no consequences to our actions. I think I agree.One of the best family holidays we ever had was on a game reserve in South Africa about 10 years ago. Back then it was normally tricky to get the kids out of bed much before 11, but there were no moans about getting up at six every morning to go on an escorted drive to watch the animals. There was something so magical about being in the presence of such natural beauty. The highlight was coming across three rhinos among a clump of trees. Our jeep crept up to within about 20 metres and we all sat in silence for the best part of an hour, overcome with wonder. So the death of Sudan, the last male northern white rhino, felt more personal than it otherwise might have done. The loss of something precious. I asked the zoologist and author of the totally fabulous book The Unexpected Truth about Animals, Lucy Cooke, whether we should try to save the species through IVF. She said no. Humans should take personal and political responsibility for their own destruction and that our efforts would be better spent trying to save existing species rather than encouraging the belief science was so advanced that there need be no consequences to our actions. I think I agree.
TuesdayTuesday
Not so long ago, I almost got knocked over by an electric car. If I had, it would have been entirely my own fault because I hadn’t been paying enough attention as I had started to cross the road without looking properly. Rather I had been using my ears. And having not heard the sound of any traffic, had imagined it was safe. Luckily, the driver of the car was rather more alert than me and honked and braked. This week a woman in Arizona was not so fortunate, becoming the first person to be killed by a driverless car. Which opens up a whole new legal minefield of responsibility. Are we to assume that a driverless car is infallible and that any accidents are invariably the fault of the third party? Or will some computer programmer be held culpable for an error in the car’s software? And what is the protocol if one driverless car happens to hit another driverless car? Not the greenest solution I know, but I’d be inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to whichever car had the loudest engine.Not so long ago, I almost got knocked over by an electric car. If I had, it would have been entirely my own fault because I hadn’t been paying enough attention as I had started to cross the road without looking properly. Rather I had been using my ears. And having not heard the sound of any traffic, had imagined it was safe. Luckily, the driver of the car was rather more alert than me and honked and braked. This week a woman in Arizona was not so fortunate, becoming the first person to be killed by a driverless car. Which opens up a whole new legal minefield of responsibility. Are we to assume that a driverless car is infallible and that any accidents are invariably the fault of the third party? Or will some computer programmer be held culpable for an error in the car’s software? And what is the protocol if one driverless car happens to hit another driverless car? Not the greenest solution I know, but I’d be inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to whichever car had the loudest engine.
WednesdayWednesday
The protest against the government backtracking on its promise to take Britain out of the common fisheries policy was every bit as chaotic as a sketch writer could have wished. First the 10-metre trawler that had motored up the Thames to meet Jacob Rees-Mogg and a couple of other Tory MPs for some fish-throwing activity was told it couldn’t stop at Embankment Pier for the press conference as no one had thought to apply for a landing permit. So it was left to potter round in circles in the middle of the Thames while Rees-Mogg blessed the occasion from afar. Something he seemed to be quite relieved about. Then the boat headed for Westminster Pier for an illegal stop to pick up Nigel Farage, who was more than happy to hijack the event to get himself some TV coverage by chucking some fish overboard outside parliament to the bemusement of a small crowd of onlookers. And the EU. Farage’s claims to be the champion of the British fishing fleet would have more credibility if he had done more to further their cause in the European parliament. As a member of the EU fisheries committee he only turned up to one out of a possible 42 meetings.The protest against the government backtracking on its promise to take Britain out of the common fisheries policy was every bit as chaotic as a sketch writer could have wished. First the 10-metre trawler that had motored up the Thames to meet Jacob Rees-Mogg and a couple of other Tory MPs for some fish-throwing activity was told it couldn’t stop at Embankment Pier for the press conference as no one had thought to apply for a landing permit. So it was left to potter round in circles in the middle of the Thames while Rees-Mogg blessed the occasion from afar. Something he seemed to be quite relieved about. Then the boat headed for Westminster Pier for an illegal stop to pick up Nigel Farage, who was more than happy to hijack the event to get himself some TV coverage by chucking some fish overboard outside parliament to the bemusement of a small crowd of onlookers. And the EU. Farage’s claims to be the champion of the British fishing fleet would have more credibility if he had done more to further their cause in the European parliament. As a member of the EU fisheries committee he only turned up to one out of a possible 42 meetings.
ThursdayThursday
Bill Giles, the weather forecaster who was last seen gesticulating on TV in 2000, complains in the latest edition of the Radio Times that the new look BBC weather forecast – the Met Office has been abandoned in favour of MeteoGroup – is a complete waste of space and that people would be better off watching Channel 5. Bill has numerous gripes. He doesn’t like the fact that cold temperatures are now underlined in blue. He finds it too hard to distinguish between a cloud and the sun. Most criminally of all, the new map shows far too much of mainland Europe, making the UK appear smaller and his home town of Southampton almost impossible to find. I can’t say I share any of Bill’s concerns. The cloudy bits are the bits with clouds and the sunny bits are the bits with sun. And Southampton is where it’s always been: on the north side of the Solent opposite the Isle of Wight. And if Bill is still struggling then he can always tune into the local weather reports that generally precede the national one. Mind you, he would have been in for a surprise if he had watched the forecast for the south-east earlier in the week as the weather map showed Hythe to be underwater and Romney Marsh about 20 miles out to sea in the Channel. Put that down to global warming. Bill Giles, the weather forecaster who was last seen gesticulating on TV in 2000, complains in the latest edition of the Radio Times that the new look BBC weather forecast – the Met Office has been abandoned in favour of MeteoGroup – is a complete waste of space and that people would be better off watching Channel 5. Bill has numerous gripes. He doesn’t like the fact that cold temperatures are now underlined in blue. He finds it too hard to distinguish between a cloud and the sun. Most criminally of all, the new map shows far too much of mainland Europe, making the UK appear smaller and his home town of Southampton almost impossible to find. I can’t say I share any of Bill’s concerns. The cloudy bits are the bits with clouds and the sunny bits are the bits with sun. And Southampton is where it’s always been: on the north side of the Solent opposite the Isle of Wight. And if Bill is still struggling then he can always tune into the local weather reports that generally precede the national one. Mind you, he would have been in for a surprise if he had watched the forecast for the south-east earlier in the week as the weather map showed Hythe to be under water and Romney Marsh about 20 miles out to sea in the Channel. Put that down to global warming.
FridayFriday
Brexit shambles, part 173. After getting itself into a tizzy about freeing itself from the yoke of maroon EU passports and replacing them with the more traditional blue UK ones – I’ve always thought my old passports in my desk at home were black – the government has come under fire for awarding the contract to print the new ones to a Franco-Dutch firm rather than to the British company De La Rue. For some, including the former cabinet minister Priti Patel, this was more than a PR disaster. It was a “national humiliation” and UK citizens would never recover from the shame of having to present a passport that wasn’t British through and through at border checks. The whole point of leaving the EU, apparently, was so that Britain could pay £120m over the odds for something it could have got cheaper from mainland Europe. And there was I thinking that Brexit was meant to be about opening up to the world, rather than shutting ourselves off. I will obviously need to re-educate myself. So how about a campaign to send Vermeers and other Dutch masters’ paintings back to Holland? Keep the National Gallery national.Brexit shambles, part 173. After getting itself into a tizzy about freeing itself from the yoke of maroon EU passports and replacing them with the more traditional blue UK ones – I’ve always thought my old passports in my desk at home were black – the government has come under fire for awarding the contract to print the new ones to a Franco-Dutch firm rather than to the British company De La Rue. For some, including the former cabinet minister Priti Patel, this was more than a PR disaster. It was a “national humiliation” and UK citizens would never recover from the shame of having to present a passport that wasn’t British through and through at border checks. The whole point of leaving the EU, apparently, was so that Britain could pay £120m over the odds for something it could have got cheaper from mainland Europe. And there was I thinking that Brexit was meant to be about opening up to the world, rather than shutting ourselves off. I will obviously need to re-educate myself. So how about a campaign to send Vermeers and other Dutch masters’ paintings back to Holland? Keep the National Gallery national.
Digested week, digested: Never mind the pollocks.Digested week, digested: Never mind the pollocks.
PoliticsPolitics
Digested weekDigested week
Nigel FarageNigel Farage
South AfricaSouth Africa
Self-driving carsSelf-driving cars
Fishing industryFishing industry
Jacob Rees-MoggJacob Rees-Mogg
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