'I stayed in my job, but I was terrified of him just looking at me'

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/28/undergraduate-student-lecturer-harassed-social-media-i-was-terrified-of-him-just-looking-at-me

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When I was an undergraduate student I worked for a research group run by a lecturer. I bumped into him once at the gym and he then sent a message via social media which said: “Well, you don’t have to worry about looking fat with tits like yours.” I was fucking distraught. I was 19. You start questioning why you’ve been hired and whether you’re actually any good at what you’re doing.

The next morning I went straight to the student advice and wellbeing service and showed them the text. I was expecting them to take that very seriously. But they advised me to drop it because if I took it further he would probably get fired and I would lose my job. There was no mention of how to make a complaint. All they did was say they would keep it on file in case he fired me.

I confronted him via social media and he replied: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.” I don’t know how much [of his behaviour] was malicious and how much was ignorance. He thought writing a quick apology was fine. But he didn’t really change. I only went to the gym with other people after that. I had to change everything and he didn’t even get a slap on the wrists.

I stayed in my research job because I relied on it for my food and my rent. But I stopped going to meetings unless I knew that my housemate was going there with me. I would do all the work from home.

He got a promotion to full-time lecturer the next year and registered me in his class. I tried to be more civil and just do the degree, but in the end my attendance was terrible and that was my lowest grade. I was terrified of him just looking at me.

He later left the university after complaints from female staff. A few months ago I reported him to the police. The policewoman who dealt with it said: “It seems like the university let you down.” She tried to figure out who I should complain to at the university. She looked on the website, but it wasn’t clear to her either. But that was the first time somebody actually tried to help.