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| Divorce rates might be down, but too many children still never see their fathers | Divorce rates might be down, but too many children still never see their fathers |
| (5 months later) | |
| There will be laverbread smoothies. There will be Celtic chanting. There will be chakra-cleansing, sunset yoga sessions and freshly foraged mushrooms when Henry Charles Albert David, younger son of the Prince of Wales and fifth in line to the British throne, says a last farewell to bachelor life. | There will be laverbread smoothies. There will be Celtic chanting. There will be chakra-cleansing, sunset yoga sessions and freshly foraged mushrooms when Henry Charles Albert David, younger son of the Prince of Wales and fifth in line to the British throne, says a last farewell to bachelor life. |
| Well, OK, perhaps the royal stag do won’t actually be in a yurt on a ley line in a Welsh valley, as a newspaper announced on Sunday, in an almost touching reminder of the days when “fake news” was just a once-a-year prank. Perhaps it will be in Prague. Perhaps it will be in Benidorm. (Websites such as pissup.com have many helpful suggestions, with tips on “booze”, “budget” and “birds”.) The key question, of course, is not where the stag do will be, or who will design Meghan’s dress. The key question is: will the marriage last? | Well, OK, perhaps the royal stag do won’t actually be in a yurt on a ley line in a Welsh valley, as a newspaper announced on Sunday, in an almost touching reminder of the days when “fake news” was just a once-a-year prank. Perhaps it will be in Prague. Perhaps it will be in Benidorm. (Websites such as pissup.com have many helpful suggestions, with tips on “booze”, “budget” and “birds”.) The key question, of course, is not where the stag do will be, or who will design Meghan’s dress. The key question is: will the marriage last? |
| Unless Meghan Markle turns into Mystic Meghan, we can only guess. But if Harry and his fiancee are as “on trend” with this as they appear to be in so many other areas, it might. Because – whisper it – divorce rates are going down. In the past 14 years, in fact, divorce rates in the UK have dropped by over a fifth. “More couples stay together” shock. So what happened to Broken Britain? | Unless Meghan Markle turns into Mystic Meghan, we can only guess. But if Harry and his fiancee are as “on trend” with this as they appear to be in so many other areas, it might. Because – whisper it – divorce rates are going down. In the past 14 years, in fact, divorce rates in the UK have dropped by over a fifth. “More couples stay together” shock. So what happened to Broken Britain? |
| Well, fewer people are getting married, for a start. In the same time period, the number of couples who have opted to tie the knot has dropped by a tenth. You are less likely to marry because of social pressure than 20 years ago, which may mean that your marriage feels like more of a choice. And marriage is expensive. It’s really, really expensive. The average cost of a wedding in the UK is now £27,000. And that’s without even taking into account the average price of a house. The average annual salary is £27,271. The average house price is £225,621. The average rent on a one-bedroom flat in the UK is more than half the average take-home pay. It’s probably a miracle if you’re still feeling romantic once you’ve done the maths. | Well, fewer people are getting married, for a start. In the same time period, the number of couples who have opted to tie the knot has dropped by a tenth. You are less likely to marry because of social pressure than 20 years ago, which may mean that your marriage feels like more of a choice. And marriage is expensive. It’s really, really expensive. The average cost of a wedding in the UK is now £27,000. And that’s without even taking into account the average price of a house. The average annual salary is £27,271. The average house price is £225,621. The average rent on a one-bedroom flat in the UK is more than half the average take-home pay. It’s probably a miracle if you’re still feeling romantic once you’ve done the maths. |
| And if you think marriage is expensive, don’t even think of divorce: the lawyers; the maintenance; swapping one home for two. The one who moves out – usually the man – often ends up in a bedsit or a shared flat. One friend of mine ended up sleeping in his van. Try inviting your children to come and visit you if you’re sleeping in a van. | And if you think marriage is expensive, don’t even think of divorce: the lawyers; the maintenance; swapping one home for two. The one who moves out – usually the man – often ends up in a bedsit or a shared flat. One friend of mine ended up sleeping in his van. Try inviting your children to come and visit you if you’re sleeping in a van. |
| Because that’s the main thing, of course. The children. No one flourishes in a home that feels like a war zone, but most children hate it when their parents split up. It has been 26 years since Jacqueline Wilson wrote her book The Suitcase Kid. For an increasing number of children in this country, being a “suitcase kid” has become the norm. In 1971, just 8% of households were headed by a single parent. Now, it’s more like a quarter. | Because that’s the main thing, of course. The children. No one flourishes in a home that feels like a war zone, but most children hate it when their parents split up. It has been 26 years since Jacqueline Wilson wrote her book The Suitcase Kid. For an increasing number of children in this country, being a “suitcase kid” has become the norm. In 1971, just 8% of households were headed by a single parent. Now, it’s more like a quarter. |
| Children of parents who break up are more likely to struggle at school, with drugs and mental health | Children of parents who break up are more likely to struggle at school, with drugs and mental health |
| One 2013 study found that 15-year-old boys in the UK were more likely to have a smartphone than be living with their father. Yes, I also had to read that twice. Healthy, happy families can come in all shapes and sizes, but very few people will doubt that most boys want a dad. According to Gingerbread, the charity for single parents, 65% of “resident parents” say their children have direct contact with the other parent. Which means that 35% don’t. There are three million children living with single parents in this country, and 90% of those parents are women. That’s around a million children who never see their dads. | One 2013 study found that 15-year-old boys in the UK were more likely to have a smartphone than be living with their father. Yes, I also had to read that twice. Healthy, happy families can come in all shapes and sizes, but very few people will doubt that most boys want a dad. According to Gingerbread, the charity for single parents, 65% of “resident parents” say their children have direct contact with the other parent. Which means that 35% don’t. There are three million children living with single parents in this country, and 90% of those parents are women. That’s around a million children who never see their dads. |
| Children of parents who break up are more likely to struggle at school, and with drugs and mental health than children of parents who stay together. Marriage isn’t really the point. What matters is that children have love, care and a stable home. Nearly half of children in single-parent families are living in poverty. You try giving your child a stable home when you’re not sure if you can pay the rent. | Children of parents who break up are more likely to struggle at school, and with drugs and mental health than children of parents who stay together. Marriage isn’t really the point. What matters is that children have love, care and a stable home. Nearly half of children in single-parent families are living in poverty. You try giving your child a stable home when you’re not sure if you can pay the rent. |
| It’s good news, of course, that fewer people are stuck in miserable marriages, and that fewer people stick with violent partners or abuse. It’s good news that women have more freedom than we used to, and that we can make our own choices about who we sleep with, who we love, and who we leave. It’s slightly less good news for the children who are watching their parents weave in and out of relationships, and have no choice but to travel light and come along for the ride. | It’s good news, of course, that fewer people are stuck in miserable marriages, and that fewer people stick with violent partners or abuse. It’s good news that women have more freedom than we used to, and that we can make our own choices about who we sleep with, who we love, and who we leave. It’s slightly less good news for the children who are watching their parents weave in and out of relationships, and have no choice but to travel light and come along for the ride. |
| Twenty-three years ago, an 11-year-old boy watched his mother tell the world, in a TV interview, about his father’s affair. Last year, in a TV interview of his own, he talked about “bouncing” between one parent and another. “We never,” said Prince Harry, “saw our mother enough.” | Twenty-three years ago, an 11-year-old boy watched his mother tell the world, in a TV interview, about his father’s affair. Last year, in a TV interview of his own, he talked about “bouncing” between one parent and another. “We never,” said Prince Harry, “saw our mother enough.” |
| In six weeks’ time, in front of the eyes of the world, he will place a ring on the finger of the woman he loves and make a solemn vow. My guess is that he will do a damn sight more than most to try to keep it. | In six weeks’ time, in front of the eyes of the world, he will place a ring on the finger of the woman he loves and make a solemn vow. My guess is that he will do a damn sight more than most to try to keep it. |
| • Christina Patterson is a writer and columnist. Her book about resilience, The Art of Not Falling Apart, will be published by Atlantic on 3 May | • Christina Patterson is a writer and columnist. Her book about resilience, The Art of Not Falling Apart, will be published by Atlantic on 3 May |
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