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| The Trump-Macron minibreak makes for some fantastique photographs | The Trump-Macron minibreak makes for some fantastique photographs |
| (7 months later) | |
| Never will we be gifted such a dream set of press photos as the three day Macron-Trump tête-à-tête, the first day of which has seen the foursome visit the former home of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US go, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort. (It is, though, apparently significant foliage, in that the oak grew on one of France’s former first world war battlefields). | Never will we be gifted such a dream set of press photos as the three day Macron-Trump tête-à-tête, the first day of which has seen the foursome visit the former home of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US go, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort. (It is, though, apparently significant foliage, in that the oak grew on one of France’s former first world war battlefields). |
| The Macrons’ trip is the first state visit from foreign leaders to Trump, who is the first president in 100 years not to have held a state visit in his first year of office. It’s difficult to be a good host, between watching Fox & Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sections of society at a whim. But Trump chose the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania spent Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris. Let us take a closer look at the latest couples’ minibreak. | The Macrons’ trip is the first state visit from foreign leaders to Trump, who is the first president in 100 years not to have held a state visit in his first year of office. It’s difficult to be a good host, between watching Fox & Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sections of society at a whim. But Trump chose the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania spent Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris. Let us take a closer look at the latest couples’ minibreak. |
| We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion. Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here. | We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion. Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here. |
| I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here (albeit specifically the outfit Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination). The coat is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite labels. The cigarette pants are très French. Her husband is simply dressed as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Suit. But I note that Melania also chose a French designer to wear (Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes); more on this outfit anon. | I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here (albeit specifically the outfit Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination). The coat is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite labels. The cigarette pants are très French. Her husband is simply dressed as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Suit. But I note that Melania also chose a French designer to wear (Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes); more on this outfit anon. |
| Here’s Macron doing “the Blair” hand gesture, since developed as the centrist premier hand-move du jour. We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with hands when they speak. | Here’s Macron doing “the Blair” hand gesture, since developed as the centrist premier hand-move du jour. We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with hands when they speak. |
| The main event, the tree-planting. What I enjoy about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s case, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the pose of someone who just landed a red and a green on her first two moves in a game of Twister. | The main event, the tree-planting. What I enjoy about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s case, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the pose of someone who just landed a red and a green on her first two moves in a game of Twister. |
| Emmanuel Macron goes to Washington – in pictures | |
| Perhaps the best shot of the bunch, because: Melania. As well as demonstrating the kind of epic hair flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts (which would make sense, given Melania’s former modelling career) it’s interesting to speculate what she might be hiding under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful husband? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We just don’t know. | Perhaps the best shot of the bunch, because: Melania. As well as demonstrating the kind of epic hair flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts (which would make sense, given Melania’s former modelling career) it’s interesting to speculate what she might be hiding under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful husband? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We just don’t know. |
| Please, give it up for random harp lady. Your typical woodland stage headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid wave – which, I’ll be honest, is probably the correct response. The others are ignoring the harp lady, in the manner of one quickening one’s pace, head down, past a tube station busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it really working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross? | Please, give it up for random harp lady. Your typical woodland stage headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid wave – which, I’ll be honest, is probably the correct response. The others are ignoring the harp lady, in the manner of one quickening one’s pace, head down, past a tube station busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it really working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross? |
| I’m gonna let the body-language speak for itself here – because Melania, straight up, wants no part of this life any longer. | I’m gonna let the body-language speak for itself here – because Melania, straight up, wants no part of this life any longer. |
| Given that French men kiss readily even as part of a polite greeting, this hand-holding won’t mean much to Macron. But for Trump it’s as though he’s gone to his first Pride and decided to become an ally. This is a man who in the past has declared support for gay rights but is obsessed with phallic machismo, usually touching the hands of men only in a bid to one-up them in a crushing handshake. He’s also prone to boasting about the size of his penis. Or rather, defending the size of his penis. In this picture, however, Trump looks like he’s leading his new husband away to the helicopter to fly to Turks and Caicos for a honeymoon, with a dolphin swim booked for day three. | Given that French men kiss readily even as part of a polite greeting, this hand-holding won’t mean much to Macron. But for Trump it’s as though he’s gone to his first Pride and decided to become an ally. This is a man who in the past has declared support for gay rights but is obsessed with phallic machismo, usually touching the hands of men only in a bid to one-up them in a crushing handshake. He’s also prone to boasting about the size of his penis. Or rather, defending the size of his penis. In this picture, however, Trump looks like he’s leading his new husband away to the helicopter to fly to Turks and Caicos for a honeymoon, with a dolphin swim booked for day three. |
| At the end of a successful first day, the vibe here is very much reunited 70s band embarking on an arena tour because funds are running dry and those basement extensions in Notting Hill aren’t going to build themselves. “Thank you, Milton Keynes!” Even the colour matching works. And, in particular, Melania’s hat. Which has an outré pop performer look, with just a touch of Gunther von Hagens. It’s only day one, folks. The show rolls on. | At the end of a successful first day, the vibe here is very much reunited 70s band embarking on an arena tour because funds are running dry and those basement extensions in Notting Hill aren’t going to build themselves. “Thank you, Milton Keynes!” Even the colour matching works. And, in particular, Melania’s hat. Which has an outré pop performer look, with just a touch of Gunther von Hagens. It’s only day one, folks. The show rolls on. |
| • Hannah Jane Parkinson is a Guardian columnist | • Hannah Jane Parkinson is a Guardian columnist |
| Donald Trump | Donald Trump |
| Opinion | Opinion |
| Emmanuel Macron | Emmanuel Macron |
| France | France |
| Melania Trump | Melania Trump |
| Brigitte Macron | Brigitte Macron |
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