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| David Davis excels in this government of all the talentless | David Davis excels in this government of all the talentless |
| (about 1 month later) | |
| It’s long been traditional to describe a lazy performance by an actor as phoned in. In the case of DExEu’s David Davis, however, he doesn’t even text it in. The secretary of state’s performance in front of the Brexit select committee this week basically amounted to a series of emoticons. He can’t do you an explanation of how in the name of magical thinking the government can square its promises on the Irish border with promises on leaving the customs union – but he can do you the shrug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Did you miss it? Don’t worry. Just ask him another question and he’ll do it again. | It’s long been traditional to describe a lazy performance by an actor as phoned in. In the case of DExEu’s David Davis, however, he doesn’t even text it in. The secretary of state’s performance in front of the Brexit select committee this week basically amounted to a series of emoticons. He can’t do you an explanation of how in the name of magical thinking the government can square its promises on the Irish border with promises on leaving the customs union – but he can do you the shrug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Did you miss it? Don’t worry. Just ask him another question and he’ll do it again. |
| Cabinet's Brexiters push May to drop 'customs partnership' | Cabinet's Brexiters push May to drop 'customs partnership' |
| At such a late stage of the game, it is unclear quite how many civil service lectures on the problem Davis has failed to pay attention to. But on this evidence, he urgently needs to be bored harder over the hard border. Or perhaps the looming crisis point is what he wants. Perhaps Britain has had enough of exports. | At such a late stage of the game, it is unclear quite how many civil service lectures on the problem Davis has failed to pay attention to. But on this evidence, he urgently needs to be bored harder over the hard border. Or perhaps the looming crisis point is what he wants. Perhaps Britain has had enough of exports. |
| Since before the referendum was even a twinkle in David Cameron’s eye, leavers have been immeasurably helped by the fact that many of us – most of us? – don’t understand the simplicities of Brexit, let alone its complexities. I recently watched an ITV news dispatch from Norway’s border with Sweden during which I discovered that either Davis did not know what the word “frictionless” meant, or was hoping no one else did. On this basis, Joan Crawford and Bette Davis had a frictionless relationship. | Since before the referendum was even a twinkle in David Cameron’s eye, leavers have been immeasurably helped by the fact that many of us – most of us? – don’t understand the simplicities of Brexit, let alone its complexities. I recently watched an ITV news dispatch from Norway’s border with Sweden during which I discovered that either Davis did not know what the word “frictionless” meant, or was hoping no one else did. On this basis, Joan Crawford and Bette Davis had a frictionless relationship. |
| As for the rest of us, a ComRes survey just before the 2016 vote found 61% of voters declaring themselves willing to accept a short-term economic slowdown to tighten immigration controls, but 68% unwilling to see their personal annual income negatively affected at all to achieve the same. What has the economy to do with the public, much of the public wonders. | As for the rest of us, a ComRes survey just before the 2016 vote found 61% of voters declaring themselves willing to accept a short-term economic slowdown to tighten immigration controls, but 68% unwilling to see their personal annual income negatively affected at all to achieve the same. What has the economy to do with the public, much of the public wonders. |
| I can only recall one hard lesson from Theresa May in the past year, when she said to the nation: “If we don’t get the negotiation right, your economic security and prosperity will be put at risk and the opportunities you seek for your families will simply not happen. If we do not stand up and get this negotiation right, we risk the secure and well-paid jobs we want for our children and our children’s children too.” And yet, in context, even this is not the moment of brutal candour it appears. May made these comments outside Downing Street in the course of a ludicrously aggressive diatribe against the EU, immediately after returning from Buckingham Palace to call her Darwin award-winning election. | I can only recall one hard lesson from Theresa May in the past year, when she said to the nation: “If we don’t get the negotiation right, your economic security and prosperity will be put at risk and the opportunities you seek for your families will simply not happen. If we do not stand up and get this negotiation right, we risk the secure and well-paid jobs we want for our children and our children’s children too.” And yet, in context, even this is not the moment of brutal candour it appears. May made these comments outside Downing Street in the course of a ludicrously aggressive diatribe against the EU, immediately after returning from Buckingham Palace to call her Darwin award-winning election. |
| Last August, it emerged that some on the EU side of negotiations thought it impossible that the UK side should be as under-prepared and aimless as they seemed, and that it must all be a clever ploy. Pretty sure no one’s floating that theory any more. What’s somehow more unsettling, though, is the look on the faces of Brexiteers outside the inner circle as they realise we really are winging this. This week even such allies appeared concerned by Davis’s shallows. | Last August, it emerged that some on the EU side of negotiations thought it impossible that the UK side should be as under-prepared and aimless as they seemed, and that it must all be a clever ploy. Pretty sure no one’s floating that theory any more. What’s somehow more unsettling, though, is the look on the faces of Brexiteers outside the inner circle as they realise we really are winging this. This week even such allies appeared concerned by Davis’s shallows. |
| Elsewhere in the government of all the talentless, Amber Rudd’s eye-catching decision to make her terrible week worse is drawing conspiracy theories of its own. On Thursday, the home secretary popped to the Commons to apologise for misleading them over Windrush again, then told journalists she “was not going to be drawn” as to whether Britain would stay in the customs union, despite May saying it wouldn’t. It’s a mark of the government’s baroque dysfunction that the embattled Rudd’s gaffe was regarded by some as a cunning ruse. “I think a lot of people in government are willing us on,” judged one Tory customs union rebel. | Elsewhere in the government of all the talentless, Amber Rudd’s eye-catching decision to make her terrible week worse is drawing conspiracy theories of its own. On Thursday, the home secretary popped to the Commons to apologise for misleading them over Windrush again, then told journalists she “was not going to be drawn” as to whether Britain would stay in the customs union, despite May saying it wouldn’t. It’s a mark of the government’s baroque dysfunction that the embattled Rudd’s gaffe was regarded by some as a cunning ruse. “I think a lot of people in government are willing us on,” judged one Tory customs union rebel. |
| Underpinning all this is the government’s own structural problem – namely, the impossibility of even the sympathetic half of the audience being able to suspend their disbelief. These people might back them, but do they really believe them? We all know what they did two summers ago. | Underpinning all this is the government’s own structural problem – namely, the impossibility of even the sympathetic half of the audience being able to suspend their disbelief. These people might back them, but do they really believe them? We all know what they did two summers ago. |
| The cabinet is now cobbled together from two sides of the referendum divide, each of whom accused the other of the most despicable lies during the campaign. Ever since, preposterously, they have expected the public to accept they are telling the truth when they act together. How is this supposed to work? | The cabinet is now cobbled together from two sides of the referendum divide, each of whom accused the other of the most despicable lies during the campaign. Ever since, preposterously, they have expected the public to accept they are telling the truth when they act together. How is this supposed to work? |
| EU doesn't need the City of London, says chief Brexit negotiator | EU doesn't need the City of London, says chief Brexit negotiator |
| It is difficult to overstate the absurdity of the home secretary presenting any sort of united front with the foreign secretary, for instance, given that she explained to a TV audience of millions: “Boris? Well, he’s the life and soul of the party but he’s not the man you want driving you home at the end of the evening.” This is a date-rape joke with a drink-drive cover story – a memorable attempt by Amber to cast herself as the Iceman to Boris’s Maverick. I’m not precisely sure where that metaphor leaves us after the past fortnight, but it’s fair to say that if world war three does threaten to break out, you don’t want Amber within two continents of a fighter jet cockpit. It feels more as if we’ve reached the point in a movie where Theresa May is using Rudd’s political corpse as a bullet shield. | It is difficult to overstate the absurdity of the home secretary presenting any sort of united front with the foreign secretary, for instance, given that she explained to a TV audience of millions: “Boris? Well, he’s the life and soul of the party but he’s not the man you want driving you home at the end of the evening.” This is a date-rape joke with a drink-drive cover story – a memorable attempt by Amber to cast herself as the Iceman to Boris’s Maverick. I’m not precisely sure where that metaphor leaves us after the past fortnight, but it’s fair to say that if world war three does threaten to break out, you don’t want Amber within two continents of a fighter jet cockpit. It feels more as if we’ve reached the point in a movie where Theresa May is using Rudd’s political corpse as a bullet shield. |
| Or have we? In the sort of masterstroke of comic timing many have come to expect from this outfit, we learned on Thursday of the “war chests” that have been built up this year by cabinet ministers thought to be eyeing leadership bids. As the Sun revealed, those big beasts are: Gavin Williamson (who no longer sells fireplaces), Michael Gove and Amber Rudd. But of course. Reflecting on her abject and shameful Windrush failures this week, Rudd said: “I look back with hindsight and I’m surprised I did not see the shape of it sooner.” | Or have we? In the sort of masterstroke of comic timing many have come to expect from this outfit, we learned on Thursday of the “war chests” that have been built up this year by cabinet ministers thought to be eyeing leadership bids. As the Sun revealed, those big beasts are: Gavin Williamson (who no longer sells fireplaces), Michael Gove and Amber Rudd. But of course. Reflecting on her abject and shameful Windrush failures this week, Rudd said: “I look back with hindsight and I’m surprised I did not see the shape of it sooner.” |
| The same might be said of the government’s quarter-arsed handling of negotiations with the EU. What will eventually unite many leave and remain voters, one suspects, is the enraged conviction that the politicians should have known what they were doing with Brexit, and rather sooner than this. | The same might be said of the government’s quarter-arsed handling of negotiations with the EU. What will eventually unite many leave and remain voters, one suspects, is the enraged conviction that the politicians should have known what they were doing with Brexit, and rather sooner than this. |
| • Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist | • Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist |
| Brexit | Brexit |
| Opinion | Opinion |
| European Union | European Union |
| Foreign policy | Foreign policy |
| David Davis | David Davis |
| Conservatives | Conservatives |
| Amber Rudd | Amber Rudd |
| Theresa May | Theresa May |
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