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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/20/caldey-island-abuse-victim-wales-it-should-be-given-over-to-the-national-trust
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| Caldey Island victim: 'It should be given over to the National Trust' | Caldey Island victim: 'It should be given over to the National Trust' |
| (6 days later) | |
| In the bright sunshine, the monastic island of Caldey looked a picture. Visitors, young and old, hopped off the day trippers’ boats and milled around the abbey, the perfumery, the chocolate factory and lighthouse, occasionally catching faraway glimpses of the Cistercian monks who live, work and worship there. | In the bright sunshine, the monastic island of Caldey looked a picture. Visitors, young and old, hopped off the day trippers’ boats and milled around the abbey, the perfumery, the chocolate factory and lighthouse, occasionally catching faraway glimpses of the Cistercian monks who live, work and worship there. |
| For Mark, a retired public servant in his 60s, however, this was no holiday visit. Mark is a victim of the sexual abuse scandal that has engulfed the island off the south Wales coast since it was revealed in the Guardian last November. | For Mark, a retired public servant in his 60s, however, this was no holiday visit. Mark is a victim of the sexual abuse scandal that has engulfed the island off the south Wales coast since it was revealed in the Guardian last November. |
| Mark (not his real name) says he was one of the children abused by the monk Father Thaddeus Kotik during family holidays and described his return to the island for the first time in 35 years as “mind-numbing”. | Mark (not his real name) says he was one of the children abused by the monk Father Thaddeus Kotik during family holidays and described his return to the island for the first time in 35 years as “mind-numbing”. |
| “It brings back a lot of memories, bad memories,” he said. “I can’t think of anything good at the moment. I can only think of the bad times and I want to grieve. It [was] the home of people responsible for ruining many people’s lives including mine.” | “It brings back a lot of memories, bad memories,” he said. “I can’t think of anything good at the moment. I can only think of the bad times and I want to grieve. It [was] the home of people responsible for ruining many people’s lives including mine.” |
| Revealed: monk who abused children on Caldey Island for decades | |
| He would like the privately owned island to be taken from the monks and handed over to a conservation body. “The island and the monastery should be given to the National Trust so visitors can appreciate the natural beauty of the island without the spectre of child abuse.” | He would like the privately owned island to be taken from the monks and handed over to a conservation body. “The island and the monastery should be given to the National Trust so visitors can appreciate the natural beauty of the island without the spectre of child abuse.” |
| Mark first met Kotik in the 1960s when his family visited the island, off Tenby in Pembrokeshire. He remembers being met at the island green by a man in “very funny clothes”. It was Kotik. | Mark first met Kotik in the 1960s when his family visited the island, off Tenby in Pembrokeshire. He remembers being met at the island green by a man in “very funny clothes”. It was Kotik. |
| The monk made Mark and his family feel privileged by inviting them into the monastery’s private walled garden and serving them tea, squash and biscuits. The following year in the same garden Mark, then eight, says Kotik lifted him up and abused him. | The monk made Mark and his family feel privileged by inviting them into the monastery’s private walled garden and serving them tea, squash and biscuits. The following year in the same garden Mark, then eight, says Kotik lifted him up and abused him. |
| Mark kept quiet because he did not want to get into trouble. Kotik behaved as if nothing had happened and the following year the ordeal continued. Kotik encouraged the boy to help wash up. While Mark was at the sink, he says Kotik stood behind him, wrapped his arms around him and rubbed the boy’s genitals. | Mark kept quiet because he did not want to get into trouble. Kotik behaved as if nothing had happened and the following year the ordeal continued. Kotik encouraged the boy to help wash up. While Mark was at the sink, he says Kotik stood behind him, wrapped his arms around him and rubbed the boy’s genitals. |
| On another occasion, Mark says he was helping to wrap the chocolate bars made at the monastery’s small factory when Kotik approached him from behind and assaulted him. | On another occasion, Mark says he was helping to wrap the chocolate bars made at the monastery’s small factory when Kotik approached him from behind and assaulted him. |
| The monk remained a family friend. The grooming process was so efficient that as an adult, Mark even returned to the island for holidays with his own young son – but was careful never to leave him unattended. | The monk remained a family friend. The grooming process was so efficient that as an adult, Mark even returned to the island for holidays with his own young son – but was careful never to leave him unattended. |
| Mark’s father maintained his friendship with Kotik and attended the monk’s funeral in 1992. It was only when the Guardian revealed Kotik’s offending that Mark accepted he was a victim. | Mark’s father maintained his friendship with Kotik and attended the monk’s funeral in 1992. It was only when the Guardian revealed Kotik’s offending that Mark accepted he was a victim. |
| Now almost every nook and cranny of Caldey Island holds a memory for him – and precious few are happy ones. | Now almost every nook and cranny of Caldey Island holds a memory for him – and precious few are happy ones. |
| Everything Thaddeus did was aimed at grooming parents so he could gain their trust and abuse their children | Everything Thaddeus did was aimed at grooming parents so he could gain their trust and abuse their children |
| He paused at the medieval pond close to the island green and recalled how he had released goldfish won in a fair on the mainland in the water. He and his son later fished in the pool with Kotik. | He paused at the medieval pond close to the island green and recalled how he had released goldfish won in a fair on the mainland in the water. He and his son later fished in the pool with Kotik. |
| Mark remembered how Kotik would hide treats around the island. He – and no doubt other children – were delighted when the monk would suddenly appear with a chocolate or cake. | Mark remembered how Kotik would hide treats around the island. He – and no doubt other children – were delighted when the monk would suddenly appear with a chocolate or cake. |
| Up the hill, Mark peered over a wooden gate into the walled garden where he was abused by Kotik. “This is where it began,” he said. “Father Thaddeus rubbed his hands up and down my thighs and across the front of my shorts. I did not understand what was happening.” | Up the hill, Mark peered over a wooden gate into the walled garden where he was abused by Kotik. “This is where it began,” he said. “Father Thaddeus rubbed his hands up and down my thighs and across the front of my shorts. I did not understand what was happening.” |
| The lighthouse is also a place of trauma. Mark says Kotik also assaulted him there and the sight of any lighthouse brings back the pain. “It doesn’t matter where I am in the world,” he said. “The feeling of being assaulted by the monk at the lighthouse returns.” | The lighthouse is also a place of trauma. Mark says Kotik also assaulted him there and the sight of any lighthouse brings back the pain. “It doesn’t matter where I am in the world,” he said. “The feeling of being assaulted by the monk at the lighthouse returns.” |
| Families make a beeline for the small chocolate factory. Mark could not bear to cross the threshold. “I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to walk in the door. I don’t think I’ve been in there since I was a young kiddie,” he said. | Families make a beeline for the small chocolate factory. Mark could not bear to cross the threshold. “I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to walk in the door. I don’t think I’ve been in there since I was a young kiddie,” he said. |
| The impact has been profound. “I rebelled against authority at school, in the workplace and I struggled with relationships because I found it very difficult to trust people,” he said. “It was only last year that I realised with a shock that everything Thaddeus did was aimed at grooming parents so he could gain their trust and abuse their children. It was a betrayal of my parents and of me.” | The impact has been profound. “I rebelled against authority at school, in the workplace and I struggled with relationships because I found it very difficult to trust people,” he said. “It was only last year that I realised with a shock that everything Thaddeus did was aimed at grooming parents so he could gain their trust and abuse their children. It was a betrayal of my parents and of me.” |
| More than a dozen women have come forward to report offences committed by Kotik, who lived at Caldey Abbey from 1947 until his death in 1992. | More than a dozen women have come forward to report offences committed by Kotik, who lived at Caldey Abbey from 1947 until his death in 1992. |
| The Guardian has learned that two other men who lived and worked on Caldey Island were subsequently convicted of child sex offences. Six women sued the Abbey in 2014 and settled out of court. After the Guardian revealed the scandal, the abbey apologised via social media for not reporting allegations of abuse to police. | The Guardian has learned that two other men who lived and worked on Caldey Island were subsequently convicted of child sex offences. Six women sued the Abbey in 2014 and settled out of court. After the Guardian revealed the scandal, the abbey apologised via social media for not reporting allegations of abuse to police. |
| This year, Mark wrote to the current abbot, Daniel van Santvoort, explaining his feeling of trauma. “Despite 50 years passing, I still live with the memory of abuse,” he wrote. | This year, Mark wrote to the current abbot, Daniel van Santvoort, explaining his feeling of trauma. “Despite 50 years passing, I still live with the memory of abuse,” he wrote. |
| Woman abused by Caldey Island monk tells of lasting impact | |
| “Can I ask you, when you open a bar of chocolate do you have memories of being sexually assaulted? When you see a picture of a monk in a newspaper or on television or indeed in a public place, do you have memories of being sexually abused as a child? I truly hope that in all of these your answer will be no.” | “Can I ask you, when you open a bar of chocolate do you have memories of being sexually assaulted? When you see a picture of a monk in a newspaper or on television or indeed in a public place, do you have memories of being sexually abused as a child? I truly hope that in all of these your answer will be no.” |
| He asked for a meeting with the abbot but says he was shocked to receive – via his solicitor – a cursory response acknowledging receipt of the letter. | He asked for a meeting with the abbot but says he was shocked to receive – via his solicitor – a cursory response acknowledging receipt of the letter. |
| Mark had thought of trying to confront the abbot this week but in the end could not bear the idea and simply spent a few hours visiting the places he had been abused. He is planning to launch a civil action. | Mark had thought of trying to confront the abbot this week but in the end could not bear the idea and simply spent a few hours visiting the places he had been abused. He is planning to launch a civil action. |
| He concluded that the island was more about making a profit by selling chocolate and perfume rather than welcoming visitors. | He concluded that the island was more about making a profit by selling chocolate and perfume rather than welcoming visitors. |
| “It’s all about business, keeping themselves going,” said Mark. “They haven’t woken up to reality, to 21st-century living. They are totally consumed in their own wellbeing. They hide, there’s no engagement. It’s not a welcoming island.” | “It’s all about business, keeping themselves going,” said Mark. “They haven’t woken up to reality, to 21st-century living. They are totally consumed in their own wellbeing. They hide, there’s no engagement. It’s not a welcoming island.” |
| Suddenly, Mark wanted to leave. He walked briskly back to the landing stage and caught the first boat back to Tenby. “I never want to come back here,” he said. “I’ve seen it for one last time and it’s something I never want to do again.” | Suddenly, Mark wanted to leave. He walked briskly back to the landing stage and caught the first boat back to Tenby. “I never want to come back here,” he said. “I’ve seen it for one last time and it’s something I never want to do again.” |
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