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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/07/children-summer-holidays-school-boredom-entertain
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| Why you should give your children the gift of boredom this summer | Why you should give your children the gift of boredom this summer |
| (4 months later) | |
| Remember the summer holidays when you were at school? How you and your friends had the opportunity to learn a new sport, brush up on your maths for September or take advantage of a plethora of educational and recreational opportunities? How your parents would spend hours planning your break in order for you to get the most out of your teacher-free time? | Remember the summer holidays when you were at school? How you and your friends had the opportunity to learn a new sport, brush up on your maths for September or take advantage of a plethora of educational and recreational opportunities? How your parents would spend hours planning your break in order for you to get the most out of your teacher-free time? |
| No? Me neither. In fact, like many of my generation, I spent most of the long break wondering what on earth to do with myself. Other than 10 days in misty Cornwall, much of my summer was spent with my mum and siblings at home in Bedfordshire, complaining of boredom, getting into petty squabbles and feeling that I must be missing out on something more exciting. | No? Me neither. In fact, like many of my generation, I spent most of the long break wondering what on earth to do with myself. Other than 10 days in misty Cornwall, much of my summer was spent with my mum and siblings at home in Bedfordshire, complaining of boredom, getting into petty squabbles and feeling that I must be missing out on something more exciting. |
| But I also remember building a disastrously rickety slide for my younger brother out of my dad’s wooden step-ladder (sorry dad), a plank of wood, some nails and a little blind faith. Or picking blackberries from the local fields and setting up a little stall outside my house with an honesty box (I still remember the thrill of hearing a car pull up and the chink of coins rattling in the tin). Of creating a time-capsule of memories with a best friend and digging it up two weeks later, marvelling at how we’d changed. | But I also remember building a disastrously rickety slide for my younger brother out of my dad’s wooden step-ladder (sorry dad), a plank of wood, some nails and a little blind faith. Or picking blackberries from the local fields and setting up a little stall outside my house with an honesty box (I still remember the thrill of hearing a car pull up and the chink of coins rattling in the tin). Of creating a time-capsule of memories with a best friend and digging it up two weeks later, marvelling at how we’d changed. |
| Those endless school summers look very different as a mother | |
| Once we got into the swing of things, my siblings and I would phone radio shows to win prizes, camp in the garden in our tent, create “come and buy” sales at the weekend and encourage my long-suffering parents to come along and spend 20p on something they already owned. We had moments of listless boredom, but also created some of my fondest memories. | Once we got into the swing of things, my siblings and I would phone radio shows to win prizes, camp in the garden in our tent, create “come and buy” sales at the weekend and encourage my long-suffering parents to come along and spend 20p on something they already owned. We had moments of listless boredom, but also created some of my fondest memories. |
| Now a mother of five children under nine, and someone who – alongside my husband – has to juggle work and infants during this hot and sticky time of year, I am inundated with articles and blog posts full of clever ideas about how to keep my children entertained over the summer. If I am not constantly building sandcastles, baking cupcakes or running them to various sporting activities it seems I am failing. Initially, I fell for the hype. It’s two weeks in and we’ve already been swimming several times, had friends round, visited the local lake. I’ve tried my best to keep the diary full and smiles on faces. Because, if I don’t, that makes me a bad parent, right? | Now a mother of five children under nine, and someone who – alongside my husband – has to juggle work and infants during this hot and sticky time of year, I am inundated with articles and blog posts full of clever ideas about how to keep my children entertained over the summer. If I am not constantly building sandcastles, baking cupcakes or running them to various sporting activities it seems I am failing. Initially, I fell for the hype. It’s two weeks in and we’ve already been swimming several times, had friends round, visited the local lake. I’ve tried my best to keep the diary full and smiles on faces. Because, if I don’t, that makes me a bad parent, right? |
| However, I’ve come to realise that overfilling the children’s time makes them tired and stroppy; and that some of the best days we’ve had so far have been ones on which I’ve dropped the parental ball. Sure, finding out that nothing’s planned for the day ahead will initially draw the odd cry of “it’s not fair” or “what shall I do?” but after a little time, my children have begun to find ways to make their own fun – I’ve stopped planning and the universe hasn’t imploded. In fact, I don’t think anyone has actually noticed. Yes, they do watch a bit of TV. And they do have access to tablet computers. But these are strictly limited to first thing in the morning (to give us a chance to wake up) and just after lunch (to give us a chance to clear up). The rest of the hours now yawn before them, gloriously unstructured. And you know what, we’re all having more fun as a result. | However, I’ve come to realise that overfilling the children’s time makes them tired and stroppy; and that some of the best days we’ve had so far have been ones on which I’ve dropped the parental ball. Sure, finding out that nothing’s planned for the day ahead will initially draw the odd cry of “it’s not fair” or “what shall I do?” but after a little time, my children have begun to find ways to make their own fun – I’ve stopped planning and the universe hasn’t imploded. In fact, I don’t think anyone has actually noticed. Yes, they do watch a bit of TV. And they do have access to tablet computers. But these are strictly limited to first thing in the morning (to give us a chance to wake up) and just after lunch (to give us a chance to clear up). The rest of the hours now yawn before them, gloriously unstructured. And you know what, we’re all having more fun as a result. |
| It’s the summer holidays – and children need time outside | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett | |
| Dr Sharie Coombes, a child and family psychotherapist, agrees that experiencing boredom can be crucial for developing minds: “Boredom can be a really important experience for children and young people to have in terms of their own social, intellectual, emotional and psychological development. Children need space to find out who they are (not who we see them as), how they can apply their own skills to new situations, how to overcome obstacles and improvise, and how to feel a sense of pride in what they are capable of doing. “If children don’t have a chance to think for themselves or resolve their own minor problems, they may be far less likely to go on to be resilient, self-soothing or creative.” | Dr Sharie Coombes, a child and family psychotherapist, agrees that experiencing boredom can be crucial for developing minds: “Boredom can be a really important experience for children and young people to have in terms of their own social, intellectual, emotional and psychological development. Children need space to find out who they are (not who we see them as), how they can apply their own skills to new situations, how to overcome obstacles and improvise, and how to feel a sense of pride in what they are capable of doing. “If children don’t have a chance to think for themselves or resolve their own minor problems, they may be far less likely to go on to be resilient, self-soothing or creative.” |
| From playing “mummies and daddies” (a grittily realistic game involving babies and cats that, for me, lacks any sort of appeal) to painting their feet and running over a piece of wallpaper; from building opposing camps in the garden out of blankets and pillows, clothes-horses and pegs to inventing a new game called “bubble trampoline” my children have begun to tap into their more creative side. | From playing “mummies and daddies” (a grittily realistic game involving babies and cats that, for me, lacks any sort of appeal) to painting their feet and running over a piece of wallpaper; from building opposing camps in the garden out of blankets and pillows, clothes-horses and pegs to inventing a new game called “bubble trampoline” my children have begun to tap into their more creative side. |
| And while their newfound self-reliance can sometimes have its drawbacks (I now have red handprints on the newly painted cream of my outside wall and the paddling pool has been popped), I think my kids have found an inner resourcefulness that none of us previously believed possible. Reader, my eldest daughter has even voluntarily tidied her room. | And while their newfound self-reliance can sometimes have its drawbacks (I now have red handprints on the newly painted cream of my outside wall and the paddling pool has been popped), I think my kids have found an inner resourcefulness that none of us previously believed possible. Reader, my eldest daughter has even voluntarily tidied her room. |
| Of course, my kids’ holiday isn’t going to be completely without structure. We’re still going to visit the pool and improve their swimming, we’ll have the odd trip out and ride our bikes together in the park. But taking a step back has taught me to relax and realise that by being more hands-off, I’m helping my little ones grow. | Of course, my kids’ holiday isn’t going to be completely without structure. We’re still going to visit the pool and improve their swimming, we’ll have the odd trip out and ride our bikes together in the park. But taking a step back has taught me to relax and realise that by being more hands-off, I’m helping my little ones grow. |
| • Gillian Harvey is a freelance writer | • Gillian Harvey is a freelance writer |
| School holidays | School holidays |
| Opinion | Opinion |
| Summer holidays | Summer holidays |
| Children | Children |
| Young people | Young people |
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