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You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/oct/06/modern-art-threat-life-limb-hayward-gallery
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| Version 2 | Version 3 |
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| Why has modern art become a threat to life and limb? | Why has modern art become a threat to life and limb? |
| (about 1 month later) | |
| This week Cuban artist Tania Bruguera’s installation tackling the migration crisis opened at Tate Modern, in London. She pumps the huge Turbine Hall with a tear-inducing compound. Visitors also hear a low-frequency sound, creating an “unsettling energy”. | This week Cuban artist Tania Bruguera’s installation tackling the migration crisis opened at Tate Modern, in London. She pumps the huge Turbine Hall with a tear-inducing compound. Visitors also hear a low-frequency sound, creating an “unsettling energy”. |
| This unsettling vibe isn’t some ruse by the museum to speed up visitor throughput to gift shops and cafes, though muffin and keyring sales are expected to rise for the duration of the exhibition. | This unsettling vibe isn’t some ruse by the museum to speed up visitor throughput to gift shops and cafes, though muffin and keyring sales are expected to rise for the duration of the exhibition. |
| It’s a bold move by Tate Modern, which in the past has had to pay out tens of thousands of pounds to visitors injured on a slide that formed part of a Carsten Höller art installation. Another visitor injured a foot in Doris Salcedo’s artwork consisting of a large crack in the gallery’s floor. | It’s a bold move by Tate Modern, which in the past has had to pay out tens of thousands of pounds to visitors injured on a slide that formed part of a Carsten Höller art installation. Another visitor injured a foot in Doris Salcedo’s artwork consisting of a large crack in the gallery’s floor. |
| Tania Bruguera at Turbine Hall review – 'It didn’t make me cry but it cleared the tubes' | Tania Bruguera at Turbine Hall review – 'It didn’t make me cry but it cleared the tubes' |
| Yes, these are challenging times for art lovers. Last month a visitor to the Serralves museum in Porto, Portugal, fell into a 2.5-metre circular hole called Descent Into Limbo that Anish Kapoor had put there, and had to be taken to hospital. Art critic Jonathan Jones wrote: “Descent Into Limbo was first seen in 1992, but the inevitable accident has finally come.” | Yes, these are challenging times for art lovers. Last month a visitor to the Serralves museum in Porto, Portugal, fell into a 2.5-metre circular hole called Descent Into Limbo that Anish Kapoor had put there, and had to be taken to hospital. Art critic Jonathan Jones wrote: “Descent Into Limbo was first seen in 1992, but the inevitable accident has finally come.” |
| And then there was the US student who got stuck in Fernando de la Jara’s marble vagina sculpture, Chacán-Pi (Making Love) and had to be freed by Tübingen firefighters. Which, you’d think, isn’t want Tübingen citizens had in mind when they paid their emergency services precept. | And then there was the US student who got stuck in Fernando de la Jara’s marble vagina sculpture, Chacán-Pi (Making Love) and had to be freed by Tübingen firefighters. Which, you’d think, isn’t want Tübingen citizens had in mind when they paid their emergency services precept. |
| What we’re witnessing is the revenge of the artwork. It’s had enough of you gormlessly wandering galleries to get your Fitbit steps on the way to the gift shop. | What we’re witnessing is the revenge of the artwork. It’s had enough of you gormlessly wandering galleries to get your Fitbit steps on the way to the gift shop. |
| Haven’t we already suffered enough in art galleries? I know I have: at the Hayward Gallery, near Tate Modern, last Saturday morning, to be precise. | Haven’t we already suffered enough in art galleries? I know I have: at the Hayward Gallery, near Tate Modern, last Saturday morning, to be precise. |
| It was my fault. Let me say that at the outset. The warning sign outside the gallery was very clear. The man who checked my ticket also explained that the exhibition contained artworks designed to disorient visitors and and so I should be careful. | It was my fault. Let me say that at the outset. The warning sign outside the gallery was very clear. The man who checked my ticket also explained that the exhibition contained artworks designed to disorient visitors and and so I should be careful. |
| There were going to be trick mirrors that made you disappear or unacceptably fat, a ballroom of shiny spheres like a simulacrum of the Ikea creche that implies you’re a narcissist for looking at it, and a reflective oil slick that would earn you a cavity search if you dipped a finger in it. | There were going to be trick mirrors that made you disappear or unacceptably fat, a ballroom of shiny spheres like a simulacrum of the Ikea creche that implies you’re a narcissist for looking at it, and a reflective oil slick that would earn you a cavity search if you dipped a finger in it. |
| Yeah, whatever, I thought as I strode into the Space Shifters exhibition. I’m not some rustic doughnut, but a sophisticated aesthete steeped in Ernst Gombrich’s thoughts on art and illusion. I’ve written about the historical role of the mirror in art, for crying out loud. I’m not going to get duped by mere installations. | Yeah, whatever, I thought as I strode into the Space Shifters exhibition. I’m not some rustic doughnut, but a sophisticated aesthete steeped in Ernst Gombrich’s thoughts on art and illusion. I’ve written about the historical role of the mirror in art, for crying out loud. I’m not going to get duped by mere installations. |
| I’m not like the four-year-old Chinese boy who destroyed a £10,000 Lego model of the fox from Zootopia. Or the 12-year-old boy who, stumbled and used a $1.5m Paolo Porpora painting to break his fall, punching a hole through the canvas. I didn’t destroy a priceless statue of two Hercules when me and my lover decided to take a selfie as two people in Cremona in Italy did. True, I did cycle into the canal once, but found the dip quite refreshing and appreciated the kindness of strangers who helped lift the bike out of the water. I am not, despite what this may suggest, a complete moron. | I’m not like the four-year-old Chinese boy who destroyed a £10,000 Lego model of the fox from Zootopia. Or the 12-year-old boy who, stumbled and used a $1.5m Paolo Porpora painting to break his fall, punching a hole through the canvas. I didn’t destroy a priceless statue of two Hercules when me and my lover decided to take a selfie as two people in Cremona in Italy did. True, I did cycle into the canal once, but found the dip quite refreshing and appreciated the kindness of strangers who helped lift the bike out of the water. I am not, despite what this may suggest, a complete moron. |
| Soon there was a loud thudding sound in the downstairs gallery. Somebody had collided with Larry Bell’s Standing Walls (1969-2018), which the artist describes as not so much a sculpture as a perceptual environment. It consists of alternating clear and grey panels, which visitors walk through, and it is what the artist describes as an exploration of “various properties of light and the way it interacts with surfaces”. What he perhaps didn’t realise was that he has created an accident waiting to happen. | Soon there was a loud thudding sound in the downstairs gallery. Somebody had collided with Larry Bell’s Standing Walls (1969-2018), which the artist describes as not so much a sculpture as a perceptual environment. It consists of alternating clear and grey panels, which visitors walk through, and it is what the artist describes as an exploration of “various properties of light and the way it interacts with surfaces”. What he perhaps didn’t realise was that he has created an accident waiting to happen. |
| The collider was me. I smacked into one of Bell’s surfaces, thinking the pane of glass was just air. It wasn’t. Who knew the shock of the new was quite so literal? On the plus side, as I bounced back I realised I hadn’t smashed the glass. On the down side, all I could see through the glass as I struggled with concussion was my wife and daughter giggling helplessly. That’s the kind of people they are. | The collider was me. I smacked into one of Bell’s surfaces, thinking the pane of glass was just air. It wasn’t. Who knew the shock of the new was quite so literal? On the plus side, as I bounced back I realised I hadn’t smashed the glass. On the down side, all I could see through the glass as I struggled with concussion was my wife and daughter giggling helplessly. That’s the kind of people they are. |
| A smug arty couple, neither of whom was wearing socks, snorted and disappeared behind one of Helen Pashgian’s reflective resin columns. My wife and daughter, still cackling loudly, hared off upstairs. | A smug arty couple, neither of whom was wearing socks, snorted and disappeared behind one of Helen Pashgian’s reflective resin columns. My wife and daughter, still cackling loudly, hared off upstairs. |
| The guard couldn’t have been kinder, asking me if I’d like to sit down and examining me for injuries just like the solicitous couple who pulled me out of the canal. He didn’t ask me how many fingers he was holding up, but I would have been prepared for that question: I always answer three when concussed because it usually is. | The guard couldn’t have been kinder, asking me if I’d like to sit down and examining me for injuries just like the solicitous couple who pulled me out of the canal. He didn’t ask me how many fingers he was holding up, but I would have been prepared for that question: I always answer three when concussed because it usually is. |
| Only later I realised it’s possible that he was being kind so as to put me off from launching a class action suit that would close the gallery and destroy the artist. “Does this happen much?” I asked. “All the time. Despite the warnings.” | Only later I realised it’s possible that he was being kind so as to put me off from launching a class action suit that would close the gallery and destroy the artist. “Does this happen much?” I asked. “All the time. Despite the warnings.” |
| That’s the problem with art in the 21st century. They shouldn’t let us anywhere near it. Not because the art is a liability; but because we are. Let me own it: because I am. | That’s the problem with art in the 21st century. They shouldn’t let us anywhere near it. Not because the art is a liability; but because we are. Let me own it: because I am. |
| As I carried on round the exhibition to the soundtrack of family laughing, I looked for a mirror to study the bruise. But of course I was in exactly the wrong place to do that – I was in a hellish hall of mirrors. I knelt before one of Yayoi Kusama’s steel spheres to see the damage; but all I could see was, as she intended, “infinity, self-obliteration and compulsive repetition in objects and forms”. Cheers for that, Yayoi. | As I carried on round the exhibition to the soundtrack of family laughing, I looked for a mirror to study the bruise. But of course I was in exactly the wrong place to do that – I was in a hellish hall of mirrors. I knelt before one of Yayoi Kusama’s steel spheres to see the damage; but all I could see was, as she intended, “infinity, self-obliteration and compulsive repetition in objects and forms”. Cheers for that, Yayoi. |
| Cyclist beware: don't stray from the towpath | Cyclist beware: don't stray from the towpath |
| Just before leaving I examined the Larry Bell work again. There was a smudge where I’d head-butted it. If the Hayward Gallery staff don’t clean the exhibition’s acres of glass, and they really shouldn’t, it’ll still be there until the show closes. My little contribution to 21st century art. | Just before leaving I examined the Larry Bell work again. There was a smudge where I’d head-butted it. If the Hayward Gallery staff don’t clean the exhibition’s acres of glass, and they really shouldn’t, it’ll still be there until the show closes. My little contribution to 21st century art. |
| Years ago I walked into a lamp-post and, being English, before I realised it was inanimate, apologised. I didn’t apologise to Larry Bell’s Standing Walls, though I am thinking of writing to Larry to thank him for knocking me off my smug pedestal and bringing me down to earth with a bump. Perhaps that’s the kind of perceptual challenge he had in mind. | Years ago I walked into a lamp-post and, being English, before I realised it was inanimate, apologised. I didn’t apologise to Larry Bell’s Standing Walls, though I am thinking of writing to Larry to thank him for knocking me off my smug pedestal and bringing me down to earth with a bump. Perhaps that’s the kind of perceptual challenge he had in mind. |
| The lump has now gone down, you’ll be pleased to learn. Now I’m off to Tate Modern for a good cry. | The lump has now gone down, you’ll be pleased to learn. Now I’m off to Tate Modern for a good cry. |
| • Stuart Jeffries is a freelance feature writer | • Stuart Jeffries is a freelance feature writer |
| • This article was amended on 6 October 2018 because the exhibition at the Hayward Gallery is called Space Shifters, not Shape Shifters as an earlier version said. | • This article was amended on 6 October 2018 because the exhibition at the Hayward Gallery is called Space Shifters, not Shape Shifters as an earlier version said. |
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| Opinion | Opinion |
| Tate Modern | Tate Modern |
| Turbine Hall | Turbine Hall |
| Tania Bruguera | Tania Bruguera |
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