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Organ donation: 'Thanks for your loved one's liver' | |
(35 minutes later) | |
Ellie Lacey was just hours from death, desperately needing an urgent liver transplant. Two years on, the 32-year-old from Cardiff is a new mum and has written to her organ donor's family to express her joy at life while acknowledging their terrible loss. | Ellie Lacey was just hours from death, desperately needing an urgent liver transplant. Two years on, the 32-year-old from Cardiff is a new mum and has written to her organ donor's family to express her joy at life while acknowledging their terrible loss. |
It was seven long months after finding out I was pregnant, that I finally mustered the courage to sit down and write. | It was seven long months after finding out I was pregnant, that I finally mustered the courage to sit down and write. |
I had been putting it off, not because I didn't want to write, but because I didn't know how. | I had been putting it off, not because I didn't want to write, but because I didn't know how. |
I was so happy about my news, I knew how blessed and fortunate I'd been, but as I began to scratch out the words, an enormous wave of emotion and sadness hit me. | I was so happy about my news, I knew how blessed and fortunate I'd been, but as I began to scratch out the words, an enormous wave of emotion and sadness hit me. |
Regardless, I began… | Regardless, I began… |
To my dear donor's family… | To my dear donor's family… |
It has been nearly two years since my liver transplant and I have something to tell you… | It has been nearly two years since my liver transplant and I have something to tell you… |
But then I stopped, my pen down, my head in my hands. | But then I stopped, my pen down, my head in my hands. |
For as much as I wanted to let them know that their loved one's liver had not only allowed me to live, but had allowed me to bring new life into the world, I also knew hearing from me must be so bittersweet. | For as much as I wanted to let them know that their loved one's liver had not only allowed me to live, but had allowed me to bring new life into the world, I also knew hearing from me must be so bittersweet. |
The brutal truth of the situation was that I was only alive because their loved one had died. | The brutal truth of the situation was that I was only alive because their loved one had died. |
Yet how could I not keep thanking them, and letting them know how much they are in my hearts? | Yet how could I not keep thanking them, and letting them know how much they are in my hearts? |
It wasn't the first letter I had written to them. | It wasn't the first letter I had written to them. |
Just after my operation, when I was on a massive high at having cheated death, I wrote, gushing with excitement. | Just after my operation, when I was on a massive high at having cheated death, I wrote, gushing with excitement. |
I had hoped my joy might be a silver lining to their sadness. | I had hoped my joy might be a silver lining to their sadness. |
I never got a reply and I'm not surprised. I was so insensitive and blind to their loss. | I never got a reply and I'm not surprised. I was so insensitive and blind to their loss. |
I wrote again last Christmas, a very short letter to say I never stopped thinking about them - and now this. | I wrote again last Christmas, a very short letter to say I never stopped thinking about them - and now this. |
Of course, like every young person, I never expected to be in the position where I would need a donor organ in my body. | Of course, like every young person, I never expected to be in the position where I would need a donor organ in my body. |
I had been very fit and healthy, newly married and looking forward to life. | I had been very fit and healthy, newly married and looking forward to life. |
I worked in marketing and spent weekends competing around the UK in wild, windy fell races. | I worked in marketing and spent weekends competing around the UK in wild, windy fell races. |
Then, out of nowhere and for no discernible reason, in January 2017, my liver failed and I needed a transplant. | Then, out of nowhere and for no discernible reason, in January 2017, my liver failed and I needed a transplant. |
I began to get very ill, turning yellow and ending up in intensive care. | I began to get very ill, turning yellow and ending up in intensive care. |
Over a matter of days, my body had collapsed. | Over a matter of days, my body had collapsed. |
Eventually, I was in and out of consciousness, connected to machines and wires with a team of doctors rushing around me. | Eventually, I was in and out of consciousness, connected to machines and wires with a team of doctors rushing around me. |
My family members weren't compatible donors, so I was put at the very top of the worldwide donor list for my blood type O. | My family members weren't compatible donors, so I was put at the very top of the worldwide donor list for my blood type O. |
Doctors told my family that a liver would likely be found for me that night. | Doctors told my family that a liver would likely be found for me that night. |
In the end, it took three days, coming in at the point I had just hours to live. | In the end, it took three days, coming in at the point I had just hours to live. |
During that time, I had said goodbye to the world. | During that time, I had said goodbye to the world. |
Yes, I wanted to live - to have more time with my loved ones and one day start a family, but I was also at peace. | Yes, I wanted to live - to have more time with my loved ones and one day start a family, but I was also at peace. |
I knew I had loved and been loved, and I knew - after setting up a marathon in Uganda - that I had also made a difference in the world. | I knew I had loved and been loved, and I knew - after setting up a marathon in Uganda - that I had also made a difference in the world. |
Then, amazingly, an organ was found. | Then, amazingly, an organ was found. |
It came in late at night to a hospital in the Midlands. | It came in late at night to a hospital in the Midlands. |
It was transported down, then I was operated on the following day. | It was transported down, then I was operated on the following day. |
When I woke up, although I was incredibly weak, to the point I couldn't walk, I was also euphoric. | When I woke up, although I was incredibly weak, to the point I couldn't walk, I was also euphoric. |
How many other terminally ill people get a chance to live again? | How many other terminally ill people get a chance to live again? |
Of course, the euphoria was eventually replaced by a huge low as I came to terms with everything. | Of course, the euphoria was eventually replaced by a huge low as I came to terms with everything. |
But as I struggled to get back to normal, there was barely a moment I didn't think about my donor. | But as I struggled to get back to normal, there was barely a moment I didn't think about my donor. |
I was told she was a woman in her sixties who had died from a stroke. | I was told she was a woman in her sixties who had died from a stroke. |
And I was told I was allowed to write to her family, via the hospital, if I didn't reveal my full name. | And I was told I was allowed to write to her family, via the hospital, if I didn't reveal my full name. |
I can't explain how much I wanted to write to thank them. | I can't explain how much I wanted to write to thank them. |
It was down to them that I was able to live. | It was down to them that I was able to live. |
I also wanted to tell them about the pregnancy and how much it meant to me. | I also wanted to tell them about the pregnancy and how much it meant to me. |
You see, trying for a baby had not been an easy decision to make. | You see, trying for a baby had not been an easy decision to make. |
Because of my transplant, I was high risk. | Because of my transplant, I was high risk. |
There was a 10% chance my body might reject the liver. | There was a 10% chance my body might reject the liver. |
There was also a bigger risk of pre-eclampsia - a condition caused by high blood pressure - and having a premature baby. | There was also a bigger risk of pre-eclampsia - a condition caused by high blood pressure - and having a premature baby. |
First and foremost, I did not want to be a burden on the NHS again - or to need a new organ. | First and foremost, I did not want to be a burden on the NHS again - or to need a new organ. |
But I had also vowed to myself, after coming so close to death, that I would live life to the full, not just for me but for my donor too - so that's what I and my husband Paul, who's 33, decided to do. | But I had also vowed to myself, after coming so close to death, that I would live life to the full, not just for me but for my donor too - so that's what I and my husband Paul, who's 33, decided to do. |
Thankfully, all went smoothly. | Thankfully, all went smoothly. |
And my beautiful boy, Otto Lacey, was born on 21 December 2018, weighing 7lb 8oz (3,5kg) and becoming our best Christmas present ever. | And my beautiful boy, Otto Lacey, was born on 21 December 2018, weighing 7lb 8oz (3,5kg) and becoming our best Christmas present ever. |
He really is perfect in every way. | He really is perfect in every way. |
Eventually, I did finish and send my letter to the family, explaining that while nothing will bring their loved one back to them, she has left a lifelong legacy within our family and that she's our hero. | Eventually, I did finish and send my letter to the family, explaining that while nothing will bring their loved one back to them, she has left a lifelong legacy within our family and that she's our hero. |
Whether they reply or not, I will have to wait and see. | Whether they reply or not, I will have to wait and see. |
Either way, my boy will now grow up knowing about this lady who saved my life. | Either way, my boy will now grow up knowing about this lady who saved my life. |
He will know there are good people in the world who think of others. | He will know there are good people in the world who think of others. |
And he will know what it means to be kind and selfless. | And he will know what it means to be kind and selfless. |
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