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Rapper says music helped her come to terms with son's autism | Rapper says music helped her come to terms with son's autism |
(3 days later) | |
A rapper has described music as an "addiction that's all right to have" as a way to cope with her son's autism and the break-up of her relationship. | A rapper has described music as an "addiction that's all right to have" as a way to cope with her son's autism and the break-up of her relationship. |
Neme, known to her family and friends as Michelle Hobart, started recording at the age of 16 and will release her fifth album next year. | Neme, known to her family and friends as Michelle Hobart, started recording at the age of 16 and will release her fifth album next year. |
When her son Larry was 13 months old, health professionals confirmed her suspicions he had autism. | When her son Larry was 13 months old, health professionals confirmed her suspicions he had autism. |
She said music had got her "out of... a dark place". | She said music had got her "out of... a dark place". |
"It's like opening windows, and all the dust goes flying out of the room." | "It's like opening windows, and all the dust goes flying out of the room." |
Neme, 31, from Sprowston, near Norwich, said she turned to music after listening to Eminem at the age of 14. | Neme, 31, from Sprowston, near Norwich, said she turned to music after listening to Eminem at the age of 14. |
Two years earlier, her father had been brutally attacked on the city's Larkman estate when a row over a driveway escalated. | Two years earlier, her father had been brutally attacked on the city's Larkman estate when a row over a driveway escalated. |
"[They] stormed into my house and tried to kill my dad in front of my mum," said Neme, who had barricaded herself in the kitchen. | "[They] stormed into my house and tried to kill my dad in front of my mum," said Neme, who had barricaded herself in the kitchen. |
"I did well in first school, in middle school, but when this event happened, it changed everything. | "I did well in first school, in middle school, but when this event happened, it changed everything. |
"Then I got given the Marshall Mathers LP for Christmas... I thought 'he's put all these bad things into songs - I can do that as well'. | "Then I got given the Marshall Mathers LP for Christmas... I thought 'he's put all these bad things into songs - I can do that as well'. |
"I used to get arrested - all that anger building up and not knowing what to do with it. So I thought 'put it in music'." | "I used to get arrested - all that anger building up and not knowing what to do with it. So I thought 'put it in music'." |
A recent string of life-changing events saw Neme, who shares her son's care with her ex-partner, return to a "dark place". | A recent string of life-changing events saw Neme, who shares her son's care with her ex-partner, return to a "dark place". |
"I could not deal with the relationship breakdown, being a single mum and a son with autism," she said. | "I could not deal with the relationship breakdown, being a single mum and a son with autism," she said. |
"I just moved in [to a new home] and obviously I can't have conversation with Larry. I felt so alone." | "I just moved in [to a new home] and obviously I can't have conversation with Larry. I felt so alone." |
She said she had questioned her honesty about her struggles, but felt writing gave her an important chance to "open the doors" to her world. | She said she had questioned her honesty about her struggles, but felt writing gave her an important chance to "open the doors" to her world. |
'A journey' | 'A journey' |
She is now working towards her next album and is releasing a new track every couple of months. | She is now working towards her next album and is releasing a new track every couple of months. |
"You hear stories of people getting their children taken off them, and you get to the point where you think: 'Do I write a song about how I feel or tell people?'." | "You hear stories of people getting their children taken off them, and you get to the point where you think: 'Do I write a song about how I feel or tell people?'." |
Neme initially blamed herself for Larry's disability because of a long labour and birth complications. | Neme initially blamed herself for Larry's disability because of a long labour and birth complications. |
"It's a nightmare - I'm not going to sugar-coat anything," she said. | "It's a nightmare - I'm not going to sugar-coat anything," she said. |
"There have been times when I've thought I don't know if I can bond with him because this is my child, but how has he turned out like this? | "There have been times when I've thought I don't know if I can bond with him because this is my child, but how has he turned out like this? |
"Then you get to that point of acceptance… and now I look at it as a journey." | "Then you get to that point of acceptance… and now I look at it as a journey." |
Listen to the radio interview with Sophie Little on BBC Radio Norfolk |
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