This article is from the source 'guardian' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.

You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jul/10/same-sex-equal-marriage-northern-ireland-lyra-mckee-gay-rights

The article has changed 2 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.

Version 0 Version 1
My partner, Lyra Mckee, would be overjoyed about the same-sex marriage bill My partner, Lyra Mckee, would have been overjoyed about the same-sex marriage bill
(about 20 hours later)
It won’t always be like this. It’s going to get better.” My incredible partner, Lyra McKee, wrote these words years before we crossed paths. I remember reading her “letter to my 14-year-old-self” and being blown away by her bravery. Lyra opened up about the deep hurt so many of us felt as teenagers, and showed that families can be incredibly loving, supportive and accepting; particularly important in a place like Northern Ireland, where religious divides and conservatism still play a huge role.It won’t always be like this. It’s going to get better.” My incredible partner, Lyra McKee, wrote these words years before we crossed paths. I remember reading her “letter to my 14-year-old-self” and being blown away by her bravery. Lyra opened up about the deep hurt so many of us felt as teenagers, and showed that families can be incredibly loving, supportive and accepting; particularly important in a place like Northern Ireland, where religious divides and conservatism still play a huge role.
Lyra was terrified, anxious and, in a weird way, lucky. She knew her mind from a young age, was surrounded by friends from her area, who mostly turned out to be LGBT+ themselves, and had a family for whom her sexuality was not an issue. Some of us (me) take a lot longer to realise their true self. When Lyra wrote her letter in 2014, the idea of same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland was almost preposterous.Lyra was terrified, anxious and, in a weird way, lucky. She knew her mind from a young age, was surrounded by friends from her area, who mostly turned out to be LGBT+ themselves, and had a family for whom her sexuality was not an issue. Some of us (me) take a lot longer to realise their true self. When Lyra wrote her letter in 2014, the idea of same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland was almost preposterous.
The rest of the UK had implemented marriage equality that year, while in Northern Ireland, despite swiftly increasing public support, it remained a political football. In 2015, two couples – Grainne Close and Shannon Sickles and Chris and Henry Flanagan-Kanem – took a case to Belfast high court to claim that their human rights were being breached by Northern Ireland’s refusal to implement same-sex marriage. Ultimately, their case was unsuccessful, and although it was appealed in 2018 we are still awaiting an outcome… something that feels all too standard for the Northern Irish LGBT+ community.The rest of the UK had implemented marriage equality that year, while in Northern Ireland, despite swiftly increasing public support, it remained a political football. In 2015, two couples – Grainne Close and Shannon Sickles and Chris and Henry Flanagan-Kanem – took a case to Belfast high court to claim that their human rights were being breached by Northern Ireland’s refusal to implement same-sex marriage. Ultimately, their case was unsuccessful, and although it was appealed in 2018 we are still awaiting an outcome… something that feels all too standard for the Northern Irish LGBT+ community.
We are five years behind the rest of the UK in terms of marriage equality, and four years behind the Republic of Ireland. It seems that in Northern Ireland, lagging behind our neighbours is standard. Women have lacked reproductive rights that have existed in the UK since 1967 and were legalised in “Holy Catholic Ireland” last year. Waiting is something we have got used to, and in the meantime we have become very good at campaigning, speaking out and speaking up. It often feels as if Northern Ireland is forgotten until there’s some terrorist crisis, or one of our parties is needed to prop up a minority government, then suddenly we pop up in people’s consciousness again, and everyone has an opinion on “the Northern Irish problem”.We are five years behind the rest of the UK in terms of marriage equality, and four years behind the Republic of Ireland. It seems that in Northern Ireland, lagging behind our neighbours is standard. Women have lacked reproductive rights that have existed in the UK since 1967 and were legalised in “Holy Catholic Ireland” last year. Waiting is something we have got used to, and in the meantime we have become very good at campaigning, speaking out and speaking up. It often feels as if Northern Ireland is forgotten until there’s some terrorist crisis, or one of our parties is needed to prop up a minority government, then suddenly we pop up in people’s consciousness again, and everyone has an opinion on “the Northern Irish problem”.
Thankfully, some Westminster politicians have been listening to us, and have been proactive in securing parity with the rest of the UK. Labour’s Conor McGinn and Stella Creasy are amazing and have worked hard to implement real change. The first bill McGinn introduced in March 2018 passed its first reading but was later blocked by a Conservative backbencher. That bill was introduced just 10 days after Lyra and I began our courtship; later, when we realised we loved each other and wanted to have a future together, it gave us hope that we would possibly see our union recognised in our own country for what it was: a marriage.Thankfully, some Westminster politicians have been listening to us, and have been proactive in securing parity with the rest of the UK. Labour’s Conor McGinn and Stella Creasy are amazing and have worked hard to implement real change. The first bill McGinn introduced in March 2018 passed its first reading but was later blocked by a Conservative backbencher. That bill was introduced just 10 days after Lyra and I began our courtship; later, when we realised we loved each other and wanted to have a future together, it gave us hope that we would possibly see our union recognised in our own country for what it was: a marriage.
That Lyra wasn’t here to see this bill pass on Tuesday is heartbreaking: she was vocal about her support for same-sex marriage and used her platform to bring attention to the fact that the region was lacking equality. Lyra would be over the moon at this news; I know that Tuesday would have been a time of celebration and the only tears shed would have been happy tears. That Lyra wasn’t here to see this bill pass on Tuesday is heartbreaking: she was vocal about her support for same-sex marriage and used her platform to bring attention to the fact that the region was lacking equality. Lyra would have been over the moon at this news; I know that Tuesday would have been a time of celebration and the only tears shed would have been happy tears.
For those of us who loved Lyra the tears were bittersweet. My friends and I were overwhelmed with excitement, but I also think we all felt a moment of piercing grief when the news came through. My sister and I stood in the kitchen of the home I had shared with Lyra and bawled. It felt like something momentous was happening – a sea change, and a shift that reflected the values of everyday people in homes across Northern Ireland.For those of us who loved Lyra the tears were bittersweet. My friends and I were overwhelmed with excitement, but I also think we all felt a moment of piercing grief when the news came through. My sister and I stood in the kitchen of the home I had shared with Lyra and bawled. It felt like something momentous was happening – a sea change, and a shift that reflected the values of everyday people in homes across Northern Ireland.
We aren’t out of the woods yet. The law will not be enshrined until 21 October, and that will depend on whether the parties come to some agreement and reconvene Stormont before then. Should that happen, it’s anyone’s guess as to what rights will be relinquished in order to secure a working devolved government. The LGBT+ community has seen marriage rights used as a political pawn before, a pawn that has already been cleared from the board twice in favour of Irish language rights. Both are important, and the trading of one group’s rights for another’s is totally reprehensible: we have asked for parity of esteem in Northern Ireland for years.We aren’t out of the woods yet. The law will not be enshrined until 21 October, and that will depend on whether the parties come to some agreement and reconvene Stormont before then. Should that happen, it’s anyone’s guess as to what rights will be relinquished in order to secure a working devolved government. The LGBT+ community has seen marriage rights used as a political pawn before, a pawn that has already been cleared from the board twice in favour of Irish language rights. Both are important, and the trading of one group’s rights for another’s is totally reprehensible: we have asked for parity of esteem in Northern Ireland for years.
This is an opportunity to bring lasting change that will improve the lives of LGBT+ people and their loved ones, but will also improve the quality of life in this country overall because equality is the best therapy.This is an opportunity to bring lasting change that will improve the lives of LGBT+ people and their loved ones, but will also improve the quality of life in this country overall because equality is the best therapy.
Northern IrelandNorthern Ireland
OpinionOpinion
LGBT rightsLGBT rights
Lyra McKeeLyra McKee
Equal marriageEqual marriage
Reproductive rightsReproductive rights
AbortionAbortion
WomenWomen
commentcomment
Share on FacebookShare on Facebook
Share on TwitterShare on Twitter
Share via EmailShare via Email
Share on LinkedInShare on LinkedIn
Share on PinterestShare on Pinterest
Share on WhatsAppShare on WhatsApp
Share on MessengerShare on Messenger
Reuse this contentReuse this content