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| In an All-Gender Cabin, Summer Campers ‘Don’t Have to Hide’ | In an All-Gender Cabin, Summer Campers ‘Don’t Have to Hide’ |
| (about 1 hour later) | |
| GROVELAND, Calif. — Tucked in the shade of towering Ponderosa pine trees, AG-6 looked no different from every other cabin at Camp Tawonga, save the transgender pride flag draped between wet towels on the porch railing. The wooden structure was essentially a glorified tent, with no electricity or running water, and it was home for about a dozen campers this month. | GROVELAND, Calif. — Tucked in the shade of towering Ponderosa pine trees, AG-6 looked no different from every other cabin at Camp Tawonga, save the transgender pride flag draped between wet towels on the porch railing. The wooden structure was essentially a glorified tent, with no electricity or running water, and it was home for about a dozen campers this month. |
| There was Grae Smith, a 13-year-old transgender boy, clambering hand over hand up a ropes course to the cheers of his cabinmates 10 feet below. | There was Grae Smith, a 13-year-old transgender boy, clambering hand over hand up a ropes course to the cheers of his cabinmates 10 feet below. |
| Falling asleep to a symphony of crickets, Jack Carlisle, also 13, didn’t care that his friends in the nearby bunk beds included girls and children whose gender identities stretch beyond the binary of male and female. | Falling asleep to a symphony of crickets, Jack Carlisle, also 13, didn’t care that his friends in the nearby bunk beds included girls and children whose gender identities stretch beyond the binary of male and female. |
| For the first time this summer, Camp Tawonga, a 90-year-old Jewish sleepaway camp nestled in the mountains a few miles west of Yosemite National Park in California, offered an all-gender cabin option to its campers. | For the first time this summer, Camp Tawonga, a 90-year-old Jewish sleepaway camp nestled in the mountains a few miles west of Yosemite National Park in California, offered an all-gender cabin option to its campers. |
| Over the two-and-a-half-week camp, residents of AG-6 splashed one another in the swimming pool, sang songs around campfires and slathered themselves in mud and paint before jumping in the lake. For many of them, Camp Tawonga was a rare respite from the outside world where bullying, social media and the feeling of not fitting in can make growing up so hard, especially for those whose sexual orientation or gender identity challenges societal norms. | Over the two-and-a-half-week camp, residents of AG-6 splashed one another in the swimming pool, sang songs around campfires and slathered themselves in mud and paint before jumping in the lake. For many of them, Camp Tawonga was a rare respite from the outside world where bullying, social media and the feeling of not fitting in can make growing up so hard, especially for those whose sexual orientation or gender identity challenges societal norms. |
| “Here I don’t have to hide who I am,” said Jonathan Brunn, a nonbinary 11-year-old from San Francisco who stayed in AG-6 this summer. “I can play soccer and braid my hair and nobody judges me.” | “Here I don’t have to hide who I am,” said Jonathan Brunn, a nonbinary 11-year-old from San Francisco who stayed in AG-6 this summer. “I can play soccer and braid my hair and nobody judges me.” |
| Two summers ago, Jonathan and their twin, Sabina, were placed together in a girls’ cabin that renamed itself “All-Gender 1.” But once the twins’ mother told them about the all-gender cabin option, the siblings jumped at the opportunity. | Two summers ago, Jonathan and their twin, Sabina, were placed together in a girls’ cabin that renamed itself “All-Gender 1.” But once the twins’ mother told them about the all-gender cabin option, the siblings jumped at the opportunity. |
| “The girl’s cabin was cool but I wanted to be with people like me,” said Jonathan, who has identified as neither strictly male nor female since age 4, and long endured bullying before transferring to a different school. | “The girl’s cabin was cool but I wanted to be with people like me,” said Jonathan, who has identified as neither strictly male nor female since age 4, and long endured bullying before transferring to a different school. |
| Camp Tawonga’s decision to create the all-gender cabin — which this summer included both nonconforming campers and several who are cisgender — comes as an increasing number of American youth believe that gender identity exists on a spectrum. A 2017 survey by GLSEN, an L.G.B.T.Q. youth organization, found that about one-fourth of the 23,000 L.G.B.T.Q. students between the ages of 13 and 21 who were polled said they identified as transgender or nonbinary, up from less than 10 percent in 2013. | Camp Tawonga’s decision to create the all-gender cabin — which this summer included both nonconforming campers and several who are cisgender — comes as an increasing number of American youth believe that gender identity exists on a spectrum. A 2017 survey by GLSEN, an L.G.B.T.Q. youth organization, found that about one-fourth of the 23,000 L.G.B.T.Q. students between the ages of 13 and 21 who were polled said they identified as transgender or nonbinary, up from less than 10 percent in 2013. |
| And more than one-third of Americans who are in their teens and early 20s know someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns like they/them, according to a recent survey by Pew Research — double the number of those who are in their 40s and triple the number of those in their 50s and 60s. | And more than one-third of Americans who are in their teens and early 20s know someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns like they/them, according to a recent survey by Pew Research — double the number of those who are in their 40s and triple the number of those in their 50s and 60s. |
| The surge has prompted some schools and summer camps to become more inclusive, while lawmakers in six states have introduced bills to add a nonbinary marker to driver’s licenses. | The surge has prompted some schools and summer camps to become more inclusive, while lawmakers in six states have introduced bills to add a nonbinary marker to driver’s licenses. |
| But growing up remains tough for many gender nonconforming youth. According to the GLSEN survey, 70 percent of the L.G.B.T.Q. students polled said they had experienced verbal harassment at school because of their sexual orientation. More than half attributed the bullying to their gender. | But growing up remains tough for many gender nonconforming youth. According to the GLSEN survey, 70 percent of the L.G.B.T.Q. students polled said they had experienced verbal harassment at school because of their sexual orientation. More than half attributed the bullying to their gender. |
| Over the last few years, states have passed legislation prohibiting transgender students from using bathrooms that do not match their biological sex. And the Trump administration two years ago rescinded protections for transgender students that had allowed them to do so. In May, it proposed rolling back civil rights protections for transgender people, and last week it asked the Supreme Court to rule that transgender employees are not protected by a federal law prohibiting workplace discrimination. | Over the last few years, states have passed legislation prohibiting transgender students from using bathrooms that do not match their biological sex. And the Trump administration two years ago rescinded protections for transgender students that had allowed them to do so. In May, it proposed rolling back civil rights protections for transgender people, and last week it asked the Supreme Court to rule that transgender employees are not protected by a federal law prohibiting workplace discrimination. |
| Rejection can have fatal consequences. A study last year found that gender-nonconforming youths face a much higher risk of suicide. | Rejection can have fatal consequences. A study last year found that gender-nonconforming youths face a much higher risk of suicide. |
| Camp Tawonga aimed to address that by teaching all 1,400 campers how to unlearn social norms that often leave young people — however they identify — feeling like they don’t measure up to stereotypes around body image, masculinity and femininity, said Jamie Simon-Harris, the camp’s executive director. | Camp Tawonga aimed to address that by teaching all 1,400 campers how to unlearn social norms that often leave young people — however they identify — feeling like they don’t measure up to stereotypes around body image, masculinity and femininity, said Jamie Simon-Harris, the camp’s executive director. |
| Along with traditional camp pastimes like talent shows and archery, she said, every cabin participates in programs designed to build self esteem and challenge misogyny, transphobia and other prejudices, whether it be writing love letters to their own bodies or cross-dressing to understand how clothes reinforce socially acceptable gender norms. | Along with traditional camp pastimes like talent shows and archery, she said, every cabin participates in programs designed to build self esteem and challenge misogyny, transphobia and other prejudices, whether it be writing love letters to their own bodies or cross-dressing to understand how clothes reinforce socially acceptable gender norms. |
| “With hate on the rise, it’s so important today for kids to feel seen and valued,” Ms. Simon-Harris said. “We allow children to see they don’t have to fit into a box, and give them the tools to become stronger allies and better activists back home.” | “With hate on the rise, it’s so important today for kids to feel seen and valued,” Ms. Simon-Harris said. “We allow children to see they don’t have to fit into a box, and give them the tools to become stronger allies and better activists back home.” |
| Camp Tawonga has a long history of inclusivity. Two decades ago, it started a special session for L.G.B.T.Q. families, and in recent years began asking all staff members and campers to include their gender pronouns in introductions. It also allowed transgender children to bunk in cabins that matched their gender identities, and added a “beyond the binary” campfire alongside separate ones for men and women. On Shabbat, some male counselors have worn dresses in solidarity with gender-nonconforming campers. | Camp Tawonga has a long history of inclusivity. Two decades ago, it started a special session for L.G.B.T.Q. families, and in recent years began asking all staff members and campers to include their gender pronouns in introductions. It also allowed transgender children to bunk in cabins that matched their gender identities, and added a “beyond the binary” campfire alongside separate ones for men and women. On Shabbat, some male counselors have worn dresses in solidarity with gender-nonconforming campers. |
| Rebecca Meyer, the camp director, said some cabins renamed themselves in previous years to be more inclusive of gender nonconforming bunk mates, which prompted her to think seriously about trying out a dedicated cabin for all genders. She sent out a questionnaire to every registered family to gauge interest and was “blown away” by the positive response, she said. | Rebecca Meyer, the camp director, said some cabins renamed themselves in previous years to be more inclusive of gender nonconforming bunk mates, which prompted her to think seriously about trying out a dedicated cabin for all genders. She sent out a questionnaire to every registered family to gauge interest and was “blown away” by the positive response, she said. |
| The camp planned to have two all-gender cabins this summer, but found that many transgender campers felt so accepted in their girls’ or boys’ bunks last year that they did not want to opt in. | The camp planned to have two all-gender cabins this summer, but found that many transgender campers felt so accepted in their girls’ or boys’ bunks last year that they did not want to opt in. |
| Still, even for those who felt accepted at Camp Tawonga, the pressures of the outside world were never far away. One camper, who lives in California’s politically conservative Central Valley, said his parents did not allow him to be photographed or identified because they did not want their friends to know they have a transgender son. | Still, even for those who felt accepted at Camp Tawonga, the pressures of the outside world were never far away. One camper, who lives in California’s politically conservative Central Valley, said his parents did not allow him to be photographed or identified because they did not want their friends to know they have a transgender son. |
| But at camp, there was a true sense of safety and freedom. | But at camp, there was a true sense of safety and freedom. |
| “The kids are really able to open themselves up without fear and just be silly,” said Kirby Woolley, 24, a nonbinary counselor assigned to AG-6. The diversity of identities helped the campers forge close friendships rooted in respect for differences, said Mx. Woolley, who uses a gender-neutral courtesy title. | “The kids are really able to open themselves up without fear and just be silly,” said Kirby Woolley, 24, a nonbinary counselor assigned to AG-6. The diversity of identities helped the campers forge close friendships rooted in respect for differences, said Mx. Woolley, who uses a gender-neutral courtesy title. |
| The AG-6 campers, who are between the fifth and seventh grades, forged lasting bonds and made lifetime memories: shrieking in terror at the sight of bats swooping under the cabin porch’s roof; brushing the camp’s resident goats, named X-Box and Pippi; giddily racing to break the cabin’s record of 23 hugs in one minute (after asking for consent), as Mx. Woolley kept time with a watch. | The AG-6 campers, who are between the fifth and seventh grades, forged lasting bonds and made lifetime memories: shrieking in terror at the sight of bats swooping under the cabin porch’s roof; brushing the camp’s resident goats, named X-Box and Pippi; giddily racing to break the cabin’s record of 23 hugs in one minute (after asking for consent), as Mx. Woolley kept time with a watch. |
| On a recent night, the stars glimmered as AG-6 set off down a dirt trail, headlamps glowing, and made their way through the woods to the schvitz, a Yiddish word for steam bath. | On a recent night, the stars glimmered as AG-6 set off down a dirt trail, headlamps glowing, and made their way through the woods to the schvitz, a Yiddish word for steam bath. |
| Built into the mountainside, the schvitz was pitch black and sweltering inside, getting hotter as water was poured over lava rocks that had been heated for five hours. The campers sat beside one another, chanting and sharing how they wanted to release regret and anger from their lives, and let in pride and friendship. | Built into the mountainside, the schvitz was pitch black and sweltering inside, getting hotter as water was poured over lava rocks that had been heated for five hours. The campers sat beside one another, chanting and sharing how they wanted to release regret and anger from their lives, and let in pride and friendship. |
| Afterward, the campers partook in a ritual cleanse — dunking in the nearby river — and held hands as they howled at the moon. | Afterward, the campers partook in a ritual cleanse — dunking in the nearby river — and held hands as they howled at the moon. |
| [We asked readers to tell us how they identify. More than 5,000 responded.] | [We asked readers to tell us how they identify. More than 5,000 responded.] |
| In many ways, AG-6 was just as refreshing for Zypher Wildera, a 12-year-old cisgender boy from Santa Cruz who chose the all-gender cabin partly to get away from his brother, but more so because he thought it would be a really cool group of people. | In many ways, AG-6 was just as refreshing for Zypher Wildera, a 12-year-old cisgender boy from Santa Cruz who chose the all-gender cabin partly to get away from his brother, but more so because he thought it would be a really cool group of people. |
| Although he is friends with some L.G.B.T.Q. children at his school, adjusting to his cabinmates’ various gender identities and pronouns took a little time, he said. | Although he is friends with some L.G.B.T.Q. children at his school, adjusting to his cabinmates’ various gender identities and pronouns took a little time, he said. |
| “I call everyone ‘dude’ and some people in the cabin don’t like that term, so I try to be very conscientious,” Zypher said. “In boys’ bunks, and with my male friends back home, we’ll jokingly insult each other. But in this cabin, everyone tries to be as kind and generous as possible. It’s made me more accepting and I feel better about myself, too.” | “I call everyone ‘dude’ and some people in the cabin don’t like that term, so I try to be very conscientious,” Zypher said. “In boys’ bunks, and with my male friends back home, we’ll jokingly insult each other. But in this cabin, everyone tries to be as kind and generous as possible. It’s made me more accepting and I feel better about myself, too.” |
| The final shabbat at Camp Tawonga began with a parade. A Torah scroll was held aloft, and AG-6 campers, wearing face glitter and bow ties made from candy wrappers, ran to join the procession as it wound past American and L.G.B.T.Q. pride flags waving in the evening breeze. | The final shabbat at Camp Tawonga began with a parade. A Torah scroll was held aloft, and AG-6 campers, wearing face glitter and bow ties made from candy wrappers, ran to join the procession as it wound past American and L.G.B.T.Q. pride flags waving in the evening breeze. |
| Inside the dining hall, hundreds of voices chanted Hebrew blessings, before crooning a de-gendered version of Sabbath Prayer from “Fiddler On The Roof.” On this night, it sounded like a mantra for Camp Tawonga: “May the Lord protect and defend you,” the happy campers sang. “May God always shield you from shame.” | Inside the dining hall, hundreds of voices chanted Hebrew blessings, before crooning a de-gendered version of Sabbath Prayer from “Fiddler On The Roof.” On this night, it sounded like a mantra for Camp Tawonga: “May the Lord protect and defend you,” the happy campers sang. “May God always shield you from shame.” |
| Videos by Cayce Clifford for The New York Times. |