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| Let’s remind ourselves of all the times men tried to assault us and failed | Let’s remind ourselves of all the times men tried to assault us and failed |
| (about 3 hours later) | |
| Harassment and assault are commonplace – but we’re not always helpless victims, says Dorothy Byrne, Channel 4 head of news and current affairs | Harassment and assault are commonplace – but we’re not always helpless victims, says Dorothy Byrne, Channel 4 head of news and current affairs |
| I once had the bad luck to get into a cab with John Worboys. At least I’m pretty sure it was him. Serial rapists tend not to introduce themselves as such. | I once had the bad luck to get into a cab with John Worboys. At least I’m pretty sure it was him. Serial rapists tend not to introduce themselves as such. |
| I had hailed a cab after working late one night, and as soon as I sat down the driver told me he’d just won tens of thousands of pounds on the lottery. He said he’d bought champagne to celebrate but couldn’t drink it because he was driving. So would I raise a glass to celebrate his good luck? | I had hailed a cab after working late one night, and as soon as I sat down the driver told me he’d just won tens of thousands of pounds on the lottery. He said he’d bought champagne to celebrate but couldn’t drink it because he was driving. So would I raise a glass to celebrate his good luck? |
| I immediately thought to myself, “What a mean git. He’s won a fortune on the lottery and he’s still working. I’m certainly not drinking with him.” While I have drunk with some pretty disreputable people in my time, I have always declined to drink with a mean git. | I immediately thought to myself, “What a mean git. He’s won a fortune on the lottery and he’s still working. I’m certainly not drinking with him.” While I have drunk with some pretty disreputable people in my time, I have always declined to drink with a mean git. |
| But he kept pressing me to drink his champagne and I kept refusing. Finally, he dropped me off at my house. I didn’t think about the mean git and his champagne again for many years – until I was sitting at work one morning and all the TV screens were showing the same news story. It was a court report about a black cab driver who had pretended to have won the lottery and plied women with drugged champagne before raping them. For a moment, I said to myself absolutely calmly, “Yes, I remember how he tried to get me to drink that champagne.” And then I screamed, “Fuck, I got in that man’s cab!” | But he kept pressing me to drink his champagne and I kept refusing. Finally, he dropped me off at my house. I didn’t think about the mean git and his champagne again for many years – until I was sitting at work one morning and all the TV screens were showing the same news story. It was a court report about a black cab driver who had pretended to have won the lottery and plied women with drugged champagne before raping them. For a moment, I said to myself absolutely calmly, “Yes, I remember how he tried to get me to drink that champagne.” And then I screamed, “Fuck, I got in that man’s cab!” |
| Now I can’t be entirely sure of that. I never saw his face. It wouldn’t hold as evidence in a court of law. But in my heart I am sure. He targeted women who were out late at night in central London. That was me. He pretended he had won the lottery. Yes, that happened. He then offered up champagne. That was the case too. I could have been his victim. But I said no. | Now I can’t be entirely sure of that. I never saw his face. It wouldn’t hold as evidence in a court of law. But in my heart I am sure. He targeted women who were out late at night in central London. That was me. He pretended he had won the lottery. Yes, that happened. He then offered up champagne. That was the case too. I could have been his victim. But I said no. |
| If I hadn’t been alienated by his odd story, I might have drunk that champagne. I don’t blame any woman who did. A different story might have conned me. It’s not like I can claim I was never duped by some bloke late at night. But that night, I did escape. | If I hadn’t been alienated by his odd story, I might have drunk that champagne. I don’t blame any woman who did. A different story might have conned me. It’s not like I can claim I was never duped by some bloke late at night. But that night, I did escape. |
| I’ve been thinking of my cab ride with a rapist because we are going through another wave of news about assaults on women, alongside the publicity for two new books about Harvey Weinstein: She Said by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey and Ronan Farrow’s Catch and Kill. A lot of my friends have been reading these books, and thinking – yet again – about how common harassment, assault and rape against women are, how commonly they are ignored or covered up. | I’ve been thinking of my cab ride with a rapist because we are going through another wave of news about assaults on women, alongside the publicity for two new books about Harvey Weinstein: She Said by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey and Ronan Farrow’s Catch and Kill. A lot of my friends have been reading these books, and thinking – yet again – about how common harassment, assault and rape against women are, how commonly they are ignored or covered up. |
| In fact it’s so depressing that these days I try to find some consolation in how often we also escape attack. Almost every woman I know has been harassed or assaulted and several have been raped. But between us, we tell even more stories of the attacks we managed to escape. | In fact it’s so depressing that these days I try to find some consolation in how often we also escape attack. Almost every woman I know has been harassed or assaulted and several have been raped. But between us, we tell even more stories of the attacks we managed to escape. |
| Once, when I was walking alone in the countryside on a holiday, a very young man came up behind me, threw me to the ground and leaped on top of me. I did what comes most naturally to me: I started lecturing him. I went on and on about the dire consequences of raping me, how good I was at noticing what people looked like so I would identify him and he would go to prison for 20 years. I finished by saying, “So, if you rape me, the only way you can stop me identifying you is to kill me. What you have to ask yourself now is, ‘When I woke up this morning did I plan to kill a woman?’” | Once, when I was walking alone in the countryside on a holiday, a very young man came up behind me, threw me to the ground and leaped on top of me. I did what comes most naturally to me: I started lecturing him. I went on and on about the dire consequences of raping me, how good I was at noticing what people looked like so I would identify him and he would go to prison for 20 years. I finished by saying, “So, if you rape me, the only way you can stop me identifying you is to kill me. What you have to ask yourself now is, ‘When I woke up this morning did I plan to kill a woman?’” |
| He stared at me, got up and walked off. I thought my brilliant logic drove him away. But a (female) friend said, “Maybe you just went on so much that he gave up like the rest of us do sometimes.” That was not kind of her, but potentially accurate. However, for whatever reason, I survived. | He stared at me, got up and walked off. I thought my brilliant logic drove him away. But a (female) friend said, “Maybe you just went on so much that he gave up like the rest of us do sometimes.” That was not kind of her, but potentially accurate. However, for whatever reason, I survived. |
| The harassment started early for me. I went to a convent school and strange men seemed to find convent girls exciting. One day a man in women’s underwear turned up in the undergrowth beside the hockey pitch while my class was playing. I don’t think he was a danger to us, but we were certainly a danger to him. Two teams of girls armed with hockey sticks; he looked relieved when the police turned up. | The harassment started early for me. I went to a convent school and strange men seemed to find convent girls exciting. One day a man in women’s underwear turned up in the undergrowth beside the hockey pitch while my class was playing. I don’t think he was a danger to us, but we were certainly a danger to him. Two teams of girls armed with hockey sticks; he looked relieved when the police turned up. |
| My journey from the convent to home each evening passed into the countryside. I was often alone at the bus stop. When I was about 14, a man started turning up at the bus stop in his car to offer me a lift. Night after night, I declined to get into his car. It’s interesting how different times were then. This was so common an experience that I never told my parents. | My journey from the convent to home each evening passed into the countryside. I was often alone at the bus stop. When I was about 14, a man started turning up at the bus stop in his car to offer me a lift. Night after night, I declined to get into his car. It’s interesting how different times were then. This was so common an experience that I never told my parents. |
| One evening, after he had tried to abduct me – because, as an adult now, I realise that was what was happening – and then driven off, another car screamed up. A woman jumped out and told me she was a police officer and they had been watching this man harass me. They told me to get into their car and we went chasing after him. What a ludicrous scenario. First, she was in an unmarked car and told me to get into it without showing me any ID. Second, the potential victim of a paedophile abductor was being taken on a car chase. I jumped in. Hey, it was Blackpool in the 1960s – we did stuff like that. We soon caught up with the would-be paedophile kidnapper. I admit, it was exciting – until we lost him at some traffic lights and he drove away. Pathetic. | One evening, after he had tried to abduct me – because, as an adult now, I realise that was what was happening – and then driven off, another car screamed up. A woman jumped out and told me she was a police officer and they had been watching this man harass me. They told me to get into their car and we went chasing after him. What a ludicrous scenario. First, she was in an unmarked car and told me to get into it without showing me any ID. Second, the potential victim of a paedophile abductor was being taken on a car chase. I jumped in. Hey, it was Blackpool in the 1960s – we did stuff like that. We soon caught up with the would-be paedophile kidnapper. I admit, it was exciting – until we lost him at some traffic lights and he drove away. Pathetic. |
| Later as a teen, I would walk back regularly from a nightclub in Cleveleys to Poulton-le-Fylde and when I passed by fields, I walked down the middle of the road to make it harder for men to abduct me. Occasionally they’d slow down and invite me into their cars. But I knew better now that they weren’t just offering me a lift. | Later as a teen, I would walk back regularly from a nightclub in Cleveleys to Poulton-le-Fylde and when I passed by fields, I walked down the middle of the road to make it harder for men to abduct me. Occasionally they’d slow down and invite me into their cars. But I knew better now that they weren’t just offering me a lift. |
| Many decades ago I was the researcher on a World in Action programme called Nine Out of Ten Women. This programme carried out a survey which found that nine out of 10 women were afraid to go out at night. It became the front-page lead in the Daily Express. Was it terrific that a paper like the Express recognised on its front page the level of fear we women live with? Or was it appalling that they had only just discovered we lived with this fear? I am an optimist and decided to take the former view. | Many decades ago I was the researcher on a World in Action programme called Nine Out of Ten Women. This programme carried out a survey which found that nine out of 10 women were afraid to go out at night. It became the front-page lead in the Daily Express. Was it terrific that a paper like the Express recognised on its front page the level of fear we women live with? Or was it appalling that they had only just discovered we lived with this fear? I am an optimist and decided to take the former view. |
| The producer, Debbie Christie, and I decided that we couldn’t bear it if this programme left women feeling like we were always victims. So the narrative was interspersed with women talking to camera about times they resisted attacks successfully and got away. I think any woman reading this will recognise that experience from her own life and the lives of her friends. | The producer, Debbie Christie, and I decided that we couldn’t bear it if this programme left women feeling like we were always victims. So the narrative was interspersed with women talking to camera about times they resisted attacks successfully and got away. I think any woman reading this will recognise that experience from her own life and the lives of her friends. |
| The paedophile in the car didn’t abduct me from my school. The young man on the country walk gave up. John Worboys misjudged me. On other days and nights I was not so fortunate. And while physically and psychologically I survived those bad experiences, I know that isn’t possible for all women. But let’s remind ourselves of all the times men tried to assault us and failed. We must recognise the enormity of what has been done to women and, at the same time, celebrate our daily victories. | The paedophile in the car didn’t abduct me from my school. The young man on the country walk gave up. John Worboys misjudged me. On other days and nights I was not so fortunate. And while physically and psychologically I survived those bad experiences, I know that isn’t possible for all women. But let’s remind ourselves of all the times men tried to assault us and failed. We must recognise the enormity of what has been done to women and, at the same time, celebrate our daily victories. |
| • Dorothy Byrne is head of news and current affairs at Channel 4 and author of Trust Me, I’m Not a Politician, published by Short Books |
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