After Christchurch, kindness is the only way to live each day

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/nov/14/after-christchurch-kindness-is-the-only-way-to-live-each-day

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The mosque attacks rocked New Zealand but good deeds and generosity will help keep us together

The day of 15 March 2019 will stay with me forever. I was working in my bedroom, listening to radio and drawing. The on-air chat and music was interrupted as news of a shooting at a mosque in Christchurch began to filter through. How could this possibly be happening in our quiet little island tucked away at the bottom of the world?

I brushed it off as some sort of mistake, until news of a shooting at a second mosque emerged minutes later. While witnesses and locals reported the horror that had just unfolded, I scrolled online looking for some sort of explanation, a way to make sense of it – and found everyone was lost for words as I was.

Tears flowing and hands shaking, I sat down on my bed and started drawing. The illustration that came was of two women hugging, one of them wearing a hijab. I had nothing but the victims in mind – mothers, children, brothers, fathers, people like me – and nothing that felt more relevant to offer than an embrace, one person to another.

There was no idea of casualties, names or faces, but it was very clear that many the victims would have come to New Zealand seeking a safe and peaceful home. The words came easily – this is your home and you should have been safe here – a truth for all of us.

I posted the image online late in the afternoon. Within a few hours the illustration had spread across New Zealand, and then across the globe . I witnessed the power of the internet and how deeply the rest of the world cared. It felt like the smallest kid in the schoolyard had been knocked to the ground and so many other nations were there to help us get back up.

In the days following the attacks, the streets in my neighbourhood felt heavy and quiet. Thousands gathered at mosques around the country to speak, listen, hug, sing and lay flowers. We grieved together with our Muslim communities and we started to have some conversations that were well overdue.

Thinking of kindness on a national level, we seem to hear the word more often, as something to value – a real option. Jacinda Ardern brought it right to front and centre on the global political stage, in a way that we desperately needed after that day – and continue to need.

Being kind means seeing the moments and being brave enough to reach out with words and gestures, sharing in both the difficult and the joyful. For me, it is writing a note, a message, drawing a picture for a friend; making time to meet someone who says they really need to talk even though it’s pouring outside.

It’s holding a door open or giving to the homeless when the money is in my pocket – not every day but when I can. To see yourself in others no matter how different the surface or circumstances creates meaning and purpose, to see the humanity under everything. If we start with ourselves, each other and then demand no less of people who hold power in the global context, I have to believe it will make a difference.

Being curious about each other, being open to difference, feeling ready to start from a place of kindness, I believe, is the only way to live each day. This is what I’ve tried to capture in All of This Is for You.

There are some challenging conversations still to be had – not all of them easy or comfortable but, for me, remembering that small word “kindness” is like a talisman to hold on to in the middle of it all, moving towards each other, not away.

• Ruby Jones is the author and illustrator of All of This Is for You