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'Remember our stillborn babies in Christmas cards' 'Remember our babies in Christmas cards'
(about 13 hours later)
A mother who lost her baby has backed a charity's plea to friends of grieving parents not to forget their children in Christmas cards.A mother who lost her baby has backed a charity's plea to friends of grieving parents not to forget their children in Christmas cards.
Laura Jones, 36, from Llanelli, gave birth to her "treasured" stillborn son Hudson in November at 19 weeks.Laura Jones, 36, from Llanelli, gave birth to her "treasured" stillborn son Hudson in November at 19 weeks.
Seeing his name in cards helped her other children and "acknowledges the little life that was", she said.Seeing his name in cards helped her other children and "acknowledges the little life that was", she said.
Essex charity Aching Arms said the gesture could be "heartwarming" at a difficult time of year.Essex charity Aching Arms said the gesture could be "heartwarming" at a difficult time of year.
The organisation, based in Brentwood, sends thousands of teddy bears to grieving families across the UK, both as comforters and to signpost help.The organisation, based in Brentwood, sends thousands of teddy bears to grieving families across the UK, both as comforters and to signpost help.
"Not many of my family and friends mention James at Christmas," said founder Leanne Turner, who lost her son at 23 weeks in 2009."Not many of my family and friends mention James at Christmas," said founder Leanne Turner, who lost her son at 23 weeks in 2009.
"Including their names is an acknowledgement that these babies aren't a secret that shouldn't be spoken about.""Including their names is an acknowledgement that these babies aren't a secret that shouldn't be spoken about."
Some parents said they preferred a symbol or an extra kiss as a reminder of their baby, instead of their name.Some parents said they preferred a symbol or an extra kiss as a reminder of their baby, instead of their name.
Ms Turner said while many families loved to hear their babies mentioned, the charity realised some parents would want their loss to remain very private.Ms Turner said while many families loved to hear their babies mentioned, the charity realised some parents would want their loss to remain very private.
"We each have to find our own way to cope, and that is exactly as it should be," she said."We each have to find our own way to cope, and that is exactly as it should be," she said.
Jade Merifield, 28, of Hillingdon, west London, was heading to hospital to be induced in September 2018 when complications cut off oxygen to her baby.Jade Merifield, 28, of Hillingdon, west London, was heading to hospital to be induced in September 2018 when complications cut off oxygen to her baby.
Her son Arlo was stillborn 15 hours later.Her son Arlo was stillborn 15 hours later.
"Personally I feel that Arlo was alive for nine months, so he should be included as he would be if he was here," she said."Personally I feel that Arlo was alive for nine months, so he should be included as he would be if he was here," she said.
"I get quite insulted when he isn't.""I get quite insulted when he isn't."
In January, Kirsty Schwegmann, who was 22 weeks pregnant with her fourth child, went for a routine scan.In January, Kirsty Schwegmann, who was 22 weeks pregnant with her fourth child, went for a routine scan.
Instead, the 42-year-old from Farnborough in Hampshire found out her daughter Naya had died.Instead, the 42-year-old from Farnborough in Hampshire found out her daughter Naya had died.
"She will always be in our Christmas cards and everything we do," said Mrs Schwegmann, now a volunteer for Aching Arms."She will always be in our Christmas cards and everything we do," said Mrs Schwegmann, now a volunteer for Aching Arms.
"It's helped my children. They find it really comforting knowing she's part of everything.""It's helped my children. They find it really comforting knowing she's part of everything."
She said seeing a card with her daughter's name on it could change her day.She said seeing a card with her daughter's name on it could change her day.
"People think that when you mention their name you're going to get upset but it's the opposite."People think that when you mention their name you're going to get upset but it's the opposite.
"It makes me happy.""It makes me happy."
Miss Jones, who is preparing for her first Christmas since losing her sixth child, said she would be donating to charity instead of sending cards.Miss Jones, who is preparing for her first Christmas since losing her sixth child, said she would be donating to charity instead of sending cards.
"It's still raw. I don't ever want to stop talking about him," she said."It's still raw. I don't ever want to stop talking about him," she said.
"Even though he never got to grow up, he existed. He's as much a part of my family as my other children.""Even though he never got to grow up, he existed. He's as much a part of my family as my other children."