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Panhandlers deserve dignity, not your pity Panhandlers deserve dignity, not your pity
(32 minutes later)
I spent some time recently getting to know the panhandlers I encounter the most — Ed and Leann, who work in the traffic at Third and M streets in Northwest Washington.I spent some time recently getting to know the panhandlers I encounter the most — Ed and Leann, who work in the traffic at Third and M streets in Northwest Washington.
They had New Year’s resolutions to share.They had New Year’s resolutions to share.
“I just want to get off the street, get some medical help and find a part-time job,” said Leann, who is 58.“I just want to get off the street, get some medical help and find a part-time job,” said Leann, who is 58.
Ed, who is 75 and panhandles in a wheelchair, told me: “I’m going to better myself, get a better foothold.”Ed, who is 75 and panhandles in a wheelchair, told me: “I’m going to better myself, get a better foothold.”
I have been ambivalent about giving handouts to people who beg on the streets. It feels demeaning, but ignoring them doesn’t feel right either. I hoped that seeing the transactions from their point of view would help resolve my conflicts.I have been ambivalent about giving handouts to people who beg on the streets. It feels demeaning, but ignoring them doesn’t feel right either. I hoped that seeing the transactions from their point of view would help resolve my conflicts.
There are roughly 9,800 homeless people in the Washington region — more than 6,500 in the District, according to the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments. About 1,077 are living “unsheltered” on the streets.There are roughly 9,800 homeless people in the Washington region — more than 6,500 in the District, according to the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments. About 1,077 are living “unsheltered” on the streets.
That is a lot of people in dire straits, and the need for assistance is growing. But does dropping coins into a panhandler’s pot really help? Will a handout move Ed and Leann closer to realizing their goals — or move the goal post further away?That is a lot of people in dire straits, and the need for assistance is growing. But does dropping coins into a panhandler’s pot really help? Will a handout move Ed and Leann closer to realizing their goals — or move the goal post further away?
Ed and Leann have a roof over their heads. But Ed lives in what is called “transitional housing,” which counts as homeless.Ed and Leann have a roof over their heads. But Ed lives in what is called “transitional housing,” which counts as homeless.
When vehicles were backed up at the traffic light at Third and M streets, Ed rolled his wheelchair along one side, and Leann walked along the other. The street funnels a lot of commuter traffic into the Third Street Tunnel and out to Maryland and Virginia.When vehicles were backed up at the traffic light at Third and M streets, Ed rolled his wheelchair along one side, and Leann walked along the other. The street funnels a lot of commuter traffic into the Third Street Tunnel and out to Maryland and Virginia.
This is where I see them, and sometimes I hand over a dollar if they make it to the car before the light turns green.This is where I see them, and sometimes I hand over a dollar if they make it to the car before the light turns green.
They were not partners, but they shared a code of conduct that made turf-sharing possible: They never asked a motorist for money.They were not partners, but they shared a code of conduct that made turf-sharing possible: They never asked a motorist for money.
Ed said, “We don’t want to put them on the spot.”Ed said, “We don’t want to put them on the spot.”
Leann added, “It makes them feel like you’re obligating them to care.”Leann added, “It makes them feel like you’re obligating them to care.”
Ed said, “Not asking shows respect for them as well as ourselves.”Ed said, “Not asking shows respect for them as well as ourselves.”
Their reasons sounded thoughtful and courteous and may have been true. But there was another reason for not asking that they did not mention. D.C. law says, “No person may ask, beg, or solicit alms from any operator or occupant of a motor vehicle that is in traffic on a public street.”Their reasons sounded thoughtful and courteous and may have been true. But there was another reason for not asking that they did not mention. D.C. law says, “No person may ask, beg, or solicit alms from any operator or occupant of a motor vehicle that is in traffic on a public street.”
To skirt the law, they let their signs do the talking.To skirt the law, they let their signs do the talking.
Ed’s sign read: “Homeless Vietnam War Vet. Please Help.”Ed’s sign read: “Homeless Vietnam War Vet. Please Help.”
Leann’s read: “Please Help. Appreciate Everything. Thank You. God Bless. Merry Christmas Happy Holiday.”Leann’s read: “Please Help. Appreciate Everything. Thank You. God Bless. Merry Christmas Happy Holiday.”
Earnest, heartfelt. And clever.Earnest, heartfelt. And clever.
Both had hard-luck stories, their recollections no doubt colored by trauma, anger and remorse. Leann said she started panhandling five years ago after a home foreclosure. Ed said he had been panhandling, off and on, for more than 20 years, “ever since my wife died and the kids kicked me out because the house was in her name.”Both had hard-luck stories, their recollections no doubt colored by trauma, anger and remorse. Leann said she started panhandling five years ago after a home foreclosure. Ed said he had been panhandling, off and on, for more than 20 years, “ever since my wife died and the kids kicked me out because the house was in her name.”
More important was how to help them “get off the street” as Leann had resolved to do, and better themselves, as Ed put it.More important was how to help them “get off the street” as Leann had resolved to do, and better themselves, as Ed put it.
Asked how much money she gets from motorists, Leann said, “It depends on how good they feel about themselves because when they feel good about themselves, they can feel good about somebody else.”Asked how much money she gets from motorists, Leann said, “It depends on how good they feel about themselves because when they feel good about themselves, they can feel good about somebody else.”
She had keen insight into human nature, and I could imagine her in charge of fundraising for a charity greater than herself.She had keen insight into human nature, and I could imagine her in charge of fundraising for a charity greater than herself.
Ed had stories to tell about surviving the war in Vietnam, then surviving homelessness in the District, sleeping inside the Third Street Tunnel until he got help from the Department of Veterans Affairs.Ed had stories to tell about surviving the war in Vietnam, then surviving homelessness in the District, sleeping inside the Third Street Tunnel until he got help from the Department of Veterans Affairs.
I could imagine him touring facilities for senior citizens, getting paid to regal bored elderly folk instead of begging for tidbits from commuters. I could imagine him touring facilities for senior citizens, getting paid to regale bored elderly folk instead of begging for tidbits from commuters.
“One man used to come by every day and give me a penny,” Ed recalled. “At first I thought he was just being cheap. But he was testing me to see how I would react, to see if I really needed the money. Then one day he drove by and said, ‘I believe you.’” “One man used to come by every day and give me a penny,” Ed recalled. “At first, I thought he was just being cheap. But he was testing me to see how I would react, to see if I really needed the money. Then one day, he drove by and said, ‘I believe you.’ ”
I thought that was an awful way to treat somebody. But Ed just shrugged it off.I thought that was an awful way to treat somebody. But Ed just shrugged it off.
“I accept their anger and humiliation,” he said. “It makes me stronger in a lot of ways.”“I accept their anger and humiliation,” he said. “It makes me stronger in a lot of ways.”
I used to think not giving was worse than giving. Ed’s story made me wonder if I had it backward.I used to think not giving was worse than giving. Ed’s story made me wonder if I had it backward.
“People will say derogatory things, try to make you feel bad,” Ed said. “They don’t realize that we are not out here because we want to be. We’re out here because we have to be.”“People will say derogatory things, try to make you feel bad,” Ed said. “They don’t realize that we are not out here because we want to be. We’re out here because we have to be.”
I understood what he was trying to say. But, no, they do not have to be out there.I understood what he was trying to say. But, no, they do not have to be out there.
Panhandling requires a mind-set that perpetuates a sense of worthlessness, a way of thinking that could twist every talent and ability they had into a single, self-justifying survival skill. And yet, their spirits had not been broken.Panhandling requires a mind-set that perpetuates a sense of worthlessness, a way of thinking that could twist every talent and ability they had into a single, self-justifying survival skill. And yet, their spirits had not been broken.
Neither of them had resolved to become a better beggar in 2020. They weren’t striving to get more coins tossed at them like bread crumbs to a pigeon.Neither of them had resolved to become a better beggar in 2020. They weren’t striving to get more coins tossed at them like bread crumbs to a pigeon.
They still had aspiration. Dignity, not pity, is what they wanted.They still had aspiration. Dignity, not pity, is what they wanted.
And as Leann might say, the more dignity the rest of us have, the more dignity we will want for people like them.And as Leann might say, the more dignity the rest of us have, the more dignity we will want for people like them.
To read previous columns, go to washingtonpost.com/milloy.To read previous columns, go to washingtonpost.com/milloy.
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