This article is from the source 'nytimes' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.
You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/18/parenting/parents-need-stress-relief-too.html
The article has changed 23 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.
| Version 4 | Version 5 |
|---|---|
| Parents Need Stress Relief, Too | Parents Need Stress Relief, Too |
| (7 days later) | |
| I was keeping it together over coronavirus until late last week, when I started feeling like the waves of information were cascading over me too fast and I couldn’t come up for breath. I wanted to stay calm for my children, and I mostly succeeded in keeping my voice and body language relaxed. But I don’t know which parts of their lives are going to change next, which makes it impossible to give my kids the consistent answers that they need. | I was keeping it together over coronavirus until late last week, when I started feeling like the waves of information were cascading over me too fast and I couldn’t come up for breath. I wanted to stay calm for my children, and I mostly succeeded in keeping my voice and body language relaxed. But I don’t know which parts of their lives are going to change next, which makes it impossible to give my kids the consistent answers that they need. |
| The only thing that made me feel better? Running. Even when we’re not in the middle of a pandemic, running is one of the few activities that gives me true peace, and I’m glad I resolved to run more frequently and improve my speed and endurance this year. There’s good research showing that exercise helps ease symptoms of anxiety and depression for everyone, even during less stressful times. | The only thing that made me feel better? Running. Even when we’re not in the middle of a pandemic, running is one of the few activities that gives me true peace, and I’m glad I resolved to run more frequently and improve my speed and endurance this year. There’s good research showing that exercise helps ease symptoms of anxiety and depression for everyone, even during less stressful times. |
| Because I can’t run during every one of my waking hours, I asked two psychiatrists what parents can do to keep the coronavirus-anxiety at bay. | Because I can’t run during every one of my waking hours, I asked two psychiatrists what parents can do to keep the coronavirus-anxiety at bay. |
| Give yourself grace. “This is not the time to be looking at your parenting manual and expecting yourself to be a top performer,” said Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences. “All of the rules are sort of thrown out the window when every day the information is changing.” You may be trying to work from home with your stir-crazy children, and all your previous rules about screen time may need to get tossed. “Give yourself permission to cut corners so you can all get through unusual circumstances,” said Dr. Alexandra Sacks, M.D., a reproductive psychiatrist in New York. | Give yourself grace. “This is not the time to be looking at your parenting manual and expecting yourself to be a top performer,” said Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences. “All of the rules are sort of thrown out the window when every day the information is changing.” You may be trying to work from home with your stir-crazy children, and all your previous rules about screen time may need to get tossed. “Give yourself permission to cut corners so you can all get through unusual circumstances,” said Dr. Alexandra Sacks, M.D., a reproductive psychiatrist in New York. |
| Dr. Lakshmin even made me feel better about not having definitive answers for my children’s questions. “For kids, the way you present information and the affect you have is just as, if not more, important than the content you’re relaying,” she said. | Dr. Lakshmin even made me feel better about not having definitive answers for my children’s questions. “For kids, the way you present information and the affect you have is just as, if not more, important than the content you’re relaying,” she said. |
| Don’t judge coping styles. Everyone is under an unusual amount of stress right now, Dr. Sacks said, and it’s important not to judge your own coping mechanisms — or your partner’s, if you have one. You might be stockpiling beans, and your partner might be brushing off concerns but the last thing either person should do is call the other “crazy” or be dismissive of their emotions. When there are disagreements, practice starting sentences with the phrases “I need” or “I would feel better if,” Dr. Sacks said, rather than criticizing the other person. | Don’t judge coping styles. Everyone is under an unusual amount of stress right now, Dr. Sacks said, and it’s important not to judge your own coping mechanisms — or your partner’s, if you have one. You might be stockpiling beans, and your partner might be brushing off concerns but the last thing either person should do is call the other “crazy” or be dismissive of their emotions. When there are disagreements, practice starting sentences with the phrases “I need” or “I would feel better if,” Dr. Sacks said, rather than criticizing the other person. |
| Remember sleep hygiene. Millions more people are now working from home, and often in close quarters. If at all possible, Dr. Sacks recommends not working from your bed, because if you do, that can create less differentiation between day and night, which can be a trigger for insomnia. Also, get your phone out of your room and power down your devices at least an hour before bedtime. | Remember sleep hygiene. Millions more people are now working from home, and often in close quarters. If at all possible, Dr. Sacks recommends not working from your bed, because if you do, that can create less differentiation between day and night, which can be a trigger for insomnia. Also, get your phone out of your room and power down your devices at least an hour before bedtime. |
| Timebox your worries. Dr. Lakshmin advised creating boundaries around your news consumption and your fears. You can tell yourself: I’m only checking news twice a day, and I’ll set a timer to limit my exposure. Checking the news compulsively and reading every random, poorly sourced and histrionic tweet will only add to your anxiety. You can also designate a half-hour per day to be your “worry time.” If worries arise outside that 30 minutes, Dr. Lakshmin said, you can write them down on a piece of paper to get them out of your head. “Knowing I have that time period makes me feel less anxious during the day,” Dr. Lakshmin said. | Timebox your worries. Dr. Lakshmin advised creating boundaries around your news consumption and your fears. You can tell yourself: I’m only checking news twice a day, and I’ll set a timer to limit my exposure. Checking the news compulsively and reading every random, poorly sourced and histrionic tweet will only add to your anxiety. You can also designate a half-hour per day to be your “worry time.” If worries arise outside that 30 minutes, Dr. Lakshmin said, you can write them down on a piece of paper to get them out of your head. “Knowing I have that time period makes me feel less anxious during the day,” Dr. Lakshmin said. |
| Social distancing doesn’t mean you should stop being social. Even if you’re under quarantine for some period of time, you can stay in touch with friends through video chat. Dr. Lakshmin recommended setting up a recurring date to talk, even doing the same activity at the same time, like watching your favorite garbage TV together virtually after your kids are asleep. | Social distancing doesn’t mean you should stop being social. Even if you’re under quarantine for some period of time, you can stay in touch with friends through video chat. Dr. Lakshmin recommended setting up a recurring date to talk, even doing the same activity at the same time, like watching your favorite garbage TV together virtually after your kids are asleep. |
| Help others as much as you can. For the healthiest and most financially privileged among us, we can assuage our anxieties by being proactive, Dr. Lakshmin said. If you’re fortunate enough to afford a house cleaner, you could continue to pay them even if they cannot come to work, or you could volunteer to get groceries for a neighbor who may not be able to go outside. | Help others as much as you can. For the healthiest and most financially privileged among us, we can assuage our anxieties by being proactive, Dr. Lakshmin said. If you’re fortunate enough to afford a house cleaner, you could continue to pay them even if they cannot come to work, or you could volunteer to get groceries for a neighbor who may not be able to go outside. |
| P.S. Click here to read all NYT Parenting coverage on coronavirus, including how to talk to your kids about the outbreak, what to do about travel plans and the latest tips for staying healthy. Follow us on Instagram @NYTParenting. Join us on Facebook. Find us on Twitter for the latest updates. | P.S. Click here to read all NYT Parenting coverage on coronavirus, including how to talk to your kids about the outbreak, what to do about travel plans and the latest tips for staying healthy. Follow us on Instagram @NYTParenting. Join us on Facebook. Find us on Twitter for the latest updates. |
| Updated June 22, 2020 | |
| A commentary published this month on the website of the British Journal of Sports Medicine points out that covering your face during exercise “comes with issues of potential breathing restriction and discomfort” and requires “balancing benefits versus possible adverse events.” Masks do alter exercise, says Cedric X. Bryant, the president and chief science officer of the American Council on Exercise, a nonprofit organization that funds exercise research and certifies fitness professionals. “In my personal experience,” he says, “heart rates are higher at the same relative intensity when you wear a mask.” Some people also could experience lightheadedness during familiar workouts while masked, says Len Kravitz, a professor of exercise science at the University of New Mexico. | |
| The steroid, dexamethasone, is the first treatment shown to reduce mortality in severely ill patients, according to scientists in Britain. The drug appears to reduce inflammation caused by the immune system, protecting the tissues. In the study, dexamethasone reduced deaths of patients on ventilators by one-third, and deaths of patients on oxygen by one-fifth. | The steroid, dexamethasone, is the first treatment shown to reduce mortality in severely ill patients, according to scientists in Britain. The drug appears to reduce inflammation caused by the immune system, protecting the tissues. In the study, dexamethasone reduced deaths of patients on ventilators by one-third, and deaths of patients on oxygen by one-fifth. |
| The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave. | The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave. |
| So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement. | So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement. |
| Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks. | Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks. |
| A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study. | A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study. |
| The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April. | The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April. |
| States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. | States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. |
| Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days. | Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days. |
| If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.) | If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.) |
| If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others. | If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others. |
| If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested. | If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested. |
| P.P.S. Many of us are home with our kids now for the foreseeable future, and we know you’re stressed. Still, there are moments of joy, inventiveness and hilarity abounding, and we want to hear about them. Email us with your coronavirus-related Tiny Victories here. | P.P.S. Many of us are home with our kids now for the foreseeable future, and we know you’re stressed. Still, there are moments of joy, inventiveness and hilarity abounding, and we want to hear about them. Email us with your coronavirus-related Tiny Victories here. |
| At-home fitness classes are a great option for exercise while social distancing. Down Dog, a company that offers a variety of video workouts, is making all of their apps free until April 1. I have long been a fan of streaming workouts like Body By Simone, which is dance cardio, and Booyah Fitness, which has many different kinds of exercise classes. | At-home fitness classes are a great option for exercise while social distancing. Down Dog, a company that offers a variety of video workouts, is making all of their apps free until April 1. I have long been a fan of streaming workouts like Body By Simone, which is dance cardio, and Booyah Fitness, which has many different kinds of exercise classes. |
| My family begins our mornings with Cosmic Kids Yoga before the school day starts, and it’s deeply fun for all. | My family begins our mornings with Cosmic Kids Yoga before the school day starts, and it’s deeply fun for all. |
| In The Times, Dr. Judson A. Brewer, a neuroscientist and psychiatrist, offers a brain hack to stop the cycle of coronavirus anxiety. | In The Times, Dr. Judson A. Brewer, a neuroscientist and psychiatrist, offers a brain hack to stop the cycle of coronavirus anxiety. |
| Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories. | Parenting can be a grind. Let’s celebrate the tiny victories. |
| I’ve been getting my (recently) picky 4-year-old to eat more veggies by having “crunching contests” at meals to see who can crunch the cucumber, carrot, bell pepper, etc., the loudest. Veggie intake is up! — Jessica Squazzo, Elgin, Ill. | I’ve been getting my (recently) picky 4-year-old to eat more veggies by having “crunching contests” at meals to see who can crunch the cucumber, carrot, bell pepper, etc., the loudest. Veggie intake is up! — Jessica Squazzo, Elgin, Ill. |
| If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us. | If you want a chance to get your Tiny Victory published, find us on Instagram @NYTparenting and use the hashtag #tinyvictories; email us; or enter your Tiny Victory at the bottom of this page. Include your full name and location. Tiny Victories may be edited for clarity and style. Your name, location and comments may be published, but your contact information will not. By submitting to us, you agree that you have read, understand and accept the Reader Submission Terms in relation to all of the content and other information you send to us. |