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Figuring Out Work and Family in the Age of Coronavirus Figuring Out Work and Family in the Age of Coronavirus
(7 days later)
— Corinne Purtill, a Los Angeles-based journalist who covers health, science, and technology— Corinne Purtill, a Los Angeles-based journalist who covers health, science, and technology
[In Her Words is available as a newsletter. Sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox.][In Her Words is available as a newsletter. Sign up here to get it delivered to your inbox.]
As the Covid-19 outbreak spreads across the world and the U.S. caseload inches toward 6,000 (as of Wednesday), millions of Americans are self-isolating to slow the virus’s spread.As the Covid-19 outbreak spreads across the world and the U.S. caseload inches toward 6,000 (as of Wednesday), millions of Americans are self-isolating to slow the virus’s spread.
This unprecedented period has disrupted all the systems that keep our lives running.This unprecedented period has disrupted all the systems that keep our lives running.
Most schools and day cares are closed. Grandparents, babysitters and others we rely on in our support networks can’t be enlisted for backup care, given the risk of contagion. Teachers are looking to parents to take over schooling, while trying to figure out what online learning even looks like. Parents are juggling the upkeep for children’s therapies, special needs or medical conditions. And then there are aging parents and older family members — they need our attention too.Most schools and day cares are closed. Grandparents, babysitters and others we rely on in our support networks can’t be enlisted for backup care, given the risk of contagion. Teachers are looking to parents to take over schooling, while trying to figure out what online learning even looks like. Parents are juggling the upkeep for children’s therapies, special needs or medical conditions. And then there are aging parents and older family members — they need our attention too.
Add to that the pressures of work (and holding onto a job) in an increasingly precarious economy.Add to that the pressures of work (and holding onto a job) in an increasingly precarious economy.
It’s uncertain and uncharted territory for everyone. To get through it, we need to rely on each other — even if that means a text message of support from one socially distancing household to another. We also need to give ourselves permission to muddle through it the best we can.It’s uncertain and uncharted territory for everyone. To get through it, we need to rely on each other — even if that means a text message of support from one socially distancing household to another. We also need to give ourselves permission to muddle through it the best we can.
Corinne Purtill is a Los Angeles-based journalist and parent of two, who worked remotely before all this.Corinne Purtill is a Los Angeles-based journalist and parent of two, who worked remotely before all this.
Francesca Donner is New York-based, the editor of this newsletter, and a parent of three.Francesca Donner is New York-based, the editor of this newsletter, and a parent of three.
They discussed over text the new reality of work and family amid a pandemic.They discussed over text the new reality of work and family amid a pandemic.
Francesca Donner: Corinne, you’re a WFH expert. And I’m a WFH novice. So lay it out for me. What do I need to know?Francesca Donner: Corinne, you’re a WFH expert. And I’m a WFH novice. So lay it out for me. What do I need to know?
Corinne Purtill: A long time ago — like, last week — we would have talked about setting up a home workspace and setting personal schedules. But this is a new world now. For so many of us, schools are closed. Day cares are closed. If you have a partner, that person is either also home figuring out this new reality (and taking up precious desk space), or is working extra long hours as a result of these new circumstances.Corinne Purtill: A long time ago — like, last week — we would have talked about setting up a home workspace and setting personal schedules. But this is a new world now. For so many of us, schools are closed. Day cares are closed. If you have a partner, that person is either also home figuring out this new reality (and taking up precious desk space), or is working extra long hours as a result of these new circumstances.
FD: I can relate to that.FD: I can relate to that.
CP: Do you remember the famous “BBC dad” interview? The look of quiet panic on Prof. Robert Kelly’s face when that sweet little girl bounced into the room and he realized that something unprecedented was happening?CP: Do you remember the famous “BBC dad” interview? The look of quiet panic on Prof. Robert Kelly’s face when that sweet little girl bounced into the room and he realized that something unprecedented was happening?
FD: I do. Is that going to happen to me?FD: I do. Is that going to happen to me?
CP: It will. It already has. We are all the Kelly family now. Few of us saw this coming, and none of us know exactly what to do next.CP: It will. It already has. We are all the Kelly family now. Few of us saw this coming, and none of us know exactly what to do next.
FD: First things first: How do you maintain a sense of control when you’re WFH? Is there a daily routine? Do you get dressed everyday?FD: First things first: How do you maintain a sense of control when you’re WFH? Is there a daily routine? Do you get dressed everyday?
CP: All good questions. If you take away one key point from this conversation, it should be this: Put on pants. Real pants. Every day.CP: All good questions. If you take away one key point from this conversation, it should be this: Put on pants. Real pants. Every day.
I know this is a controversial stance. But I’m seeing posts on Twitter about staying in pajamas and bringing the laptop into bed. This is a debatable point, but I advocate strongly for a shower and real pants every day. We must control what we can, even if it’s just our personal hygiene.I know this is a controversial stance. But I’m seeing posts on Twitter about staying in pajamas and bringing the laptop into bed. This is a debatable point, but I advocate strongly for a shower and real pants every day. We must control what we can, even if it’s just our personal hygiene.
FD (writing in pajamas): My colleague, Taffy Akner, also a WFH pro, mentioned the pants, too. She said her pants are “elastic waisted.” Are your pants also elastic waisted?FD (writing in pajamas): My colleague, Taffy Akner, also a WFH pro, mentioned the pants, too. She said her pants are “elastic waisted.” Are your pants also elastic waisted?
CP: I own many elastic-waist pants, and I love them deeply. But for me, when it’s work time, it’s button-pants time. We all have tiny anchors tethering us to reality, and button pants are mine.CP: I own many elastic-waist pants, and I love them deeply. But for me, when it’s work time, it’s button-pants time. We all have tiny anchors tethering us to reality, and button pants are mine.
FD: A friend of mine in Northern California said she constantly struggles with how to avoid getting distracted by chores like cleaning and tidying. “Just being at home reminds me of all my home-related tasks and I start doing them,” she said.FD: A friend of mine in Northern California said she constantly struggles with how to avoid getting distracted by chores like cleaning and tidying. “Just being at home reminds me of all my home-related tasks and I start doing them,” she said.
And it’s not just tasks, there’s the hours dedicated to reading coronavirus news, which literally does not stop. (And you and I work in this business.)And it’s not just tasks, there’s the hours dedicated to reading coronavirus news, which literally does not stop. (And you and I work in this business.)
CP: Totally. We all need to give ourselves a break on this one. No one is going to look back on the great quarantine of 2020 and wish they had tidied up more.CP: Totally. We all need to give ourselves a break on this one. No one is going to look back on the great quarantine of 2020 and wish they had tidied up more.
FD: Is it fair game to have a pot of soup bubbling on the stove when you’re supposed to be working?FD: Is it fair game to have a pot of soup bubbling on the stove when you’re supposed to be working?
CP: Yes, I’d argue that soup is fair game. You’ve got to eat. Think of all the time you spend in an office stepping out for coffee, or ordering lunch. You are entitled to that time at home, too. And if a giant pot of soup or chili emerges from it, so much the better.CP: Yes, I’d argue that soup is fair game. You’ve got to eat. Think of all the time you spend in an office stepping out for coffee, or ordering lunch. You are entitled to that time at home, too. And if a giant pot of soup or chili emerges from it, so much the better.
FD: OK, Corinne. I think we need to address the elephant in the room. You know what that is, right? How do we handle the K.I.D.S.?FD: OK, Corinne. I think we need to address the elephant in the room. You know what that is, right? How do we handle the K.I.D.S.?
CP: Yes. Kids. The only thing more distracting than working at home with kids is having an actual elephant in your living room.CP: Yes. Kids. The only thing more distracting than working at home with kids is having an actual elephant in your living room.
FD: Or reading coronavirus news. But I digress. You have two (kids, not elephants). I have three. How old are your kids again?FD: Or reading coronavirus news. But I digress. You have two (kids, not elephants). I have three. How old are your kids again?
Updated June 16, 2020 Updated June 22, 2020
A commentary published this month on the website of the British Journal of Sports Medicine points out that covering your face during exercise “comes with issues of potential breathing restriction and discomfort” and requires “balancing benefits versus possible adverse events.” Masks do alter exercise, says Cedric X. Bryant, the president and chief science officer of the American Council on Exercise, a nonprofit organization that funds exercise research and certifies fitness professionals. “In my personal experience,” he says, “heart rates are higher at the same relative intensity when you wear a mask.” Some people also could experience lightheadedness during familiar workouts while masked, says Len Kravitz, a professor of exercise science at the University of New Mexico.
The steroid, dexamethasone, is the first treatment shown to reduce mortality in severely ill patients, according to scientists in Britain. The drug appears to reduce inflammation caused by the immune system, protecting the tissues. In the study, dexamethasone reduced deaths of patients on ventilators by one-third, and deaths of patients on oxygen by one-fifth.The steroid, dexamethasone, is the first treatment shown to reduce mortality in severely ill patients, according to scientists in Britain. The drug appears to reduce inflammation caused by the immune system, protecting the tissues. In the study, dexamethasone reduced deaths of patients on ventilators by one-third, and deaths of patients on oxygen by one-fifth.
The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave.The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave.
So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.
The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
CP: Nine and almost 4.CP: Nine and almost 4.
FD: And now with schools and day cares across the country closed…FD: And now with schools and day cares across the country closed…
CP: Days home with small children should be approached like airplane flights with small children: Whatever it takes to get through it, do it, as long as they’re safe and not hurting anyone. We’re going to have to stretch some of our rules here. I don’t love YouTube, but as we’re talking my youngest is on there watching an alphabet cartoon, and the older one is engrossed in a video of a vlogger talking about her pet bird. It’s fine. They’ll be fine.CP: Days home with small children should be approached like airplane flights with small children: Whatever it takes to get through it, do it, as long as they’re safe and not hurting anyone. We’re going to have to stretch some of our rules here. I don’t love YouTube, but as we’re talking my youngest is on there watching an alphabet cartoon, and the older one is engrossed in a video of a vlogger talking about her pet bird. It’s fine. They’ll be fine.
I have a question: Are men also panic texting about child minding?I have a question: Are men also panic texting about child minding?
FD: My guess is not close to as much as women. That’s because the bulk of child care the world over still falls to women. Which means …FD: My guess is not close to as much as women. That’s because the bulk of child care the world over still falls to women. Which means …
CP: What?CP: What?
FD: We are in deep trouble. One mom friend texted me that she was taking an important phone call from her building’s subterranean laundry room. If only the people on the end of the line could see the literal acrobatics we go through to pretend everything is under control.FD: We are in deep trouble. One mom friend texted me that she was taking an important phone call from her building’s subterranean laundry room. If only the people on the end of the line could see the literal acrobatics we go through to pretend everything is under control.
CP: So much work is being done behind the scenes to make things look normal. But you can’t keep it hidden forever. Especially now.CP: So much work is being done behind the scenes to make things look normal. But you can’t keep it hidden forever. Especially now.
FD: And maybe we shouldn’t. I know women are good at multitasking, but let’s be realistic: Working plus child care — it doesn’t add up.FD: And maybe we shouldn’t. I know women are good at multitasking, but let’s be realistic: Working plus child care — it doesn’t add up.
CP: It doesn’t. Something has to give. It worries me that women are going to take a disproportionate hit economically in this. You and I have the luxury of jobs that can be done at home, however imperfectly. Working mothers without that option are going to face extremely difficult pressures.CP: It doesn’t. Something has to give. It worries me that women are going to take a disproportionate hit economically in this. You and I have the luxury of jobs that can be done at home, however imperfectly. Working mothers without that option are going to face extremely difficult pressures.
FD: You are absolutely right.FD: You are absolutely right.
CP: The Times reported that 114,000 New York City students are homeless and rely on schools for food. That makes the challenge of keeping kids out of a videoconference look trivial.CP: The Times reported that 114,000 New York City students are homeless and rely on schools for food. That makes the challenge of keeping kids out of a videoconference look trivial.
FD: That’s an important perspective. We all know this is going to be a challenge unlike any we have faced before. And of course all the backup systems don’t work: drop-in centers, play areas, and other alternatives we’ve used in the past. (Here’s a starting place for information on how to handle public school closures in New York City.)FD: That’s an important perspective. We all know this is going to be a challenge unlike any we have faced before. And of course all the backup systems don’t work: drop-in centers, play areas, and other alternatives we’ve used in the past. (Here’s a starting place for information on how to handle public school closures in New York City.)
CP: We are going to have to be patient and understanding of ourselves, our kids and each other. The challenge economically will be whether employers are able to do that too.CP: We are going to have to be patient and understanding of ourselves, our kids and each other. The challenge economically will be whether employers are able to do that too.
Readers: What does your life look like in this period of self-isolation? What questions do you have about managing in this new reality — working from home, overseeing kids, relationships, personal health? Write to us at inherwords@nytimes.com.Readers: What does your life look like in this period of self-isolation? What questions do you have about managing in this new reality — working from home, overseeing kids, relationships, personal health? Write to us at inherwords@nytimes.com.