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| What We Tell Children When the World Seems Unsafe | What We Tell Children When the World Seems Unsafe |
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| This is about the song my mother used to sing, “Shake Hands With Your Air Raid Warden.” It’s about living through scary times with children, and what you tell them when the world does not seem like a safe place. And of course, it’s about my mother, and maybe about her generation, which certainly grew up through scary times, and about thinking of our own children, all of them, their childhoods interrupted — at any age — by Covid-19 and by our own scary times. | This is about the song my mother used to sing, “Shake Hands With Your Air Raid Warden.” It’s about living through scary times with children, and what you tell them when the world does not seem like a safe place. And of course, it’s about my mother, and maybe about her generation, which certainly grew up through scary times, and about thinking of our own children, all of them, their childhoods interrupted — at any age — by Covid-19 and by our own scary times. |
| My mother played the bugle. She grew up in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, and she marched with her father’s Jewish War Veterans band (he had emigrated from Hungary in time to be sent back to Europe as an American soldier in the First World War). When she worked as a camp counselor in the summer, in the Catskills, she took along her bugle; she played reveille in the morning, taps in the evening, and mess call before meals. | My mother played the bugle. She grew up in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, and she marched with her father’s Jewish War Veterans band (he had emigrated from Hungary in time to be sent back to Europe as an American soldier in the First World War). When she worked as a camp counselor in the summer, in the Catskills, she took along her bugle; she played reveille in the morning, taps in the evening, and mess call before meals. |
| When our family lived in suburban New Jersey, in the late 1960s, my mother would step out on the back porch and play “Mess Call” to summon us home for dinner; that was back in the days before play dates, when children ranged around the neighborhood and parents didn’t necessarily know where they were. | When our family lived in suburban New Jersey, in the late 1960s, my mother would step out on the back porch and play “Mess Call” to summon us home for dinner; that was back in the days before play dates, when children ranged around the neighborhood and parents didn’t necessarily know where they were. |
| Did that actually happen very often? I’m not even sure; the bugle-on-the-porch was one of my mother’s favorite stories about herself. She loved to imagine herself scandalizing the suburban New Jersey neighborhood, as she blared it out: “Soupy, soupy, soupy without a single bean! Porky, porky, porky without a strip of lean! Coffee, coffee, coffee, the meanest ever seen!” (Surely those were not quite the lyrics when she played for the Jewish War Veterans?) | Did that actually happen very often? I’m not even sure; the bugle-on-the-porch was one of my mother’s favorite stories about herself. She loved to imagine herself scandalizing the suburban New Jersey neighborhood, as she blared it out: “Soupy, soupy, soupy without a single bean! Porky, porky, porky without a strip of lean! Coffee, coffee, coffee, the meanest ever seen!” (Surely those were not quite the lyrics when she played for the Jewish War Veterans?) |
| I grew up in the Vietnam War era, and my mother was deeply opposed to the war — to all wars. Her only brother had died in Korea, and she spent years writing and rewriting a novel about how this devastated her parents, and left her mother willing to spend her meager savings on a fortune teller who assured her that her son was still alive. | I grew up in the Vietnam War era, and my mother was deeply opposed to the war — to all wars. Her only brother had died in Korea, and she spent years writing and rewriting a novel about how this devastated her parents, and left her mother willing to spend her meager savings on a fortune teller who assured her that her son was still alive. |
| But she loved the songs of the Second World War. “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.” “Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer.” “There’s a Star-Spangled Banner Waving Somewhere.” Over time, as I grew up, I tracked many of them down, but there was one that I could never locate, not in collections of the songs of the war, not in YouTube videos. | But she loved the songs of the Second World War. “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.” “Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer.” “There’s a Star-Spangled Banner Waving Somewhere.” Over time, as I grew up, I tracked many of them down, but there was one that I could never locate, not in collections of the songs of the war, not in YouTube videos. |
| Then, last week, I was talking (in a properly socially distanced way, of course) with my children about my mother. It was, in fact, the anniversary of her death — something that I had actually forgotten in the confusion and distress and time-lapse blur of the last few weeks. When my children pointed out the anniversary, I of course started to cry, and then tried to say, somewhat incoherently, that my mother, if she were alive, would have been more up to the current crisis than I will ever be. | Then, last week, I was talking (in a properly socially distanced way, of course) with my children about my mother. It was, in fact, the anniversary of her death — something that I had actually forgotten in the confusion and distress and time-lapse blur of the last few weeks. When my children pointed out the anniversary, I of course started to cry, and then tried to say, somewhat incoherently, that my mother, if she were alive, would have been more up to the current crisis than I will ever be. |
| She knew the world was dangerous, I tried to explain; she learned it as a child, and she accepted it, and she never forgot it. Think about that song, the one about the air raid warden that I could never find, the one I finally decided she must have invented. | She knew the world was dangerous, I tried to explain; she learned it as a child, and she accepted it, and she never forgot it. Think about that song, the one about the air raid warden that I could never find, the one I finally decided she must have invented. |
| And of course, within about 15 minutes, my daughter had found a wartime radio clip in the New York Public Radio archives, and there was the song, “Shake Hands With Your Air Raid Warden.” | And of course, within about 15 minutes, my daughter had found a wartime radio clip in the New York Public Radio archives, and there was the song, “Shake Hands With Your Air Raid Warden.” |
| Actually, the clip started with a discussion of plane spotting — that is, how civilians could learn to recognize enemy bombers — between the radio host, Clifton Fadiman, and an aircraft expert, Frederick Hazard. Civilian spotters, with their binoculars, Mr. Hazard said, were on the first line of defense against attack from the air. | Actually, the clip started with a discussion of plane spotting — that is, how civilians could learn to recognize enemy bombers — between the radio host, Clifton Fadiman, and an aircraft expert, Frederick Hazard. Civilian spotters, with their binoculars, Mr. Hazard said, were on the first line of defense against attack from the air. |
| My mother’s song (as I think of it) was performed by Irving Caesar, who actually wrote it, who lived a long and successful songwriting life; he was born in 1895 and died in 1996, and his songs include the lyrics for “Tea For Two,” with music by Vincent Youmans, and for “Swanee,” with music by George Gershwin. “Shake Hands” was very much the encouraging ballad of civil obedience that the title suggests, swinging along in march rhythm (“Walk up to him and say, Mr. Warden, I’ll obey, just tell me what to do and where to go!”). | My mother’s song (as I think of it) was performed by Irving Caesar, who actually wrote it, who lived a long and successful songwriting life; he was born in 1895 and died in 1996, and his songs include the lyrics for “Tea For Two,” with music by Vincent Youmans, and for “Swanee,” with music by George Gershwin. “Shake Hands” was very much the encouraging ballad of civil obedience that the title suggests, swinging along in march rhythm (“Walk up to him and say, Mr. Warden, I’ll obey, just tell me what to do and where to go!”). |
| I was overjoyed (in the sense of being reduced to tears) to hear this refrain from my childhood sung all the way through. But I was even more affected by the song that Irving Caesar performed first, “When You Hear the Siren Blow,” written specifically as a “safety song” for the children of America. It’s a much less stirring, less brassy song, written in a kind of nursery rhyme pitter-patter. | I was overjoyed (in the sense of being reduced to tears) to hear this refrain from my childhood sung all the way through. But I was even more affected by the song that Irving Caesar performed first, “When You Hear the Siren Blow,” written specifically as a “safety song” for the children of America. It’s a much less stirring, less brassy song, written in a kind of nursery rhyme pitter-patter. |
| The first verse told children what to listen for — one long blast and one that’s short — which would let them know that an air raid was happening. It told them what to do — proceed calmly to a shelter. | The first verse told children what to listen for — one long blast and one that’s short — which would let them know that an air raid was happening. It told them what to do — proceed calmly to a shelter. |
| The second verse was addressed to mothers, warning them that if an air raid came by day, they should stay away from the schools and let the teachers handle things. At night, turn off any lights that might be visible, and keep food and water and a radio handy. | The second verse was addressed to mothers, warning them that if an air raid came by day, they should stay away from the schools and let the teachers handle things. At night, turn off any lights that might be visible, and keep food and water and a radio handy. |
| Updated June 12, 2020 | Updated June 12, 2020 |
| So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement. | So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement. |
| Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks. | |
| A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study. | A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study. |
| The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April. | The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April. |
| Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission. | Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission. |
| Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home. | Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home. |
| States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. | States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. |
| Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days. | Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days. |
| If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.) | If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.) |
| Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications. | Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications. |
| The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing. | The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing. |
| If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others. | If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others. |
| If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested. | If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested. |
| “Mothers, although your hearts may ache, and lots of courage it may take, be brave, it’s for your children’s sake, your courage will see you through,” the song concludes. | “Mothers, although your hearts may ache, and lots of courage it may take, be brave, it’s for your children’s sake, your courage will see you through,” the song concludes. |
| As I said, it doesn’t take much to make me cry these days. And I’m not reaching for war metaphors; a pandemic is a pandemic, not a war or a tsunami. It is its own disaster, and must be met and understood as such. | As I said, it doesn’t take much to make me cry these days. And I’m not reaching for war metaphors; a pandemic is a pandemic, not a war or a tsunami. It is its own disaster, and must be met and understood as such. |
| But we can draw generational comparisons to the way the world broke apart around the families of the 1930s and ’40s. And no matter how frightened they might have been, the children in the United States were safer than many; those air raids never came. | But we can draw generational comparisons to the way the world broke apart around the families of the 1930s and ’40s. And no matter how frightened they might have been, the children in the United States were safer than many; those air raids never came. |
| What I keep thinking about is the recurring responsibility that parents face in difficult times to acknowledge to our children that no matter how much we would give to be able to do it, we cannot promise them safety, and we cannot promise to make the world go on working. We have to be able to teach whatever safety drills go with our own uncertain times, summon our own often precarious reserves of courage, and find our lullabies where we can. | What I keep thinking about is the recurring responsibility that parents face in difficult times to acknowledge to our children that no matter how much we would give to be able to do it, we cannot promise them safety, and we cannot promise to make the world go on working. We have to be able to teach whatever safety drills go with our own uncertain times, summon our own often precarious reserves of courage, and find our lullabies where we can. |
| And we can hope, of course, for better times; my mother was still singing “Shake Hands With Your Air Raid Warden” seven decades later, not as a warning of danger overhead, but as a signifier, perhaps, that troubled times can be survived and remembered, and that song and story can help us through. In the song, you follow your air raid warden all the way to victory; “Shake hands with your air raid warden, hero without gun — a loyal volunteer, we need him over here, until the war is won!” | And we can hope, of course, for better times; my mother was still singing “Shake Hands With Your Air Raid Warden” seven decades later, not as a warning of danger overhead, but as a signifier, perhaps, that troubled times can be survived and remembered, and that song and story can help us through. In the song, you follow your air raid warden all the way to victory; “Shake hands with your air raid warden, hero without gun — a loyal volunteer, we need him over here, until the war is won!” |