This article is from the source 'nytimes' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.
You can find the current article at its original source at https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/coronavirus-doctor-family.html
The article has changed 27 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.
| Version 4 | Version 5 |
|---|---|
| Fighting Coronavirus Means I Haven’t Seen My Kids for a Month | Fighting Coronavirus Means I Haven’t Seen My Kids for a Month |
| (3 days later) | |
| As coronavirus continues to spread across the globe, we’re working to answer the questions on many parents’ minds. For the latest updates, read The New York Times’s live coronavirus coverage here. | As coronavirus continues to spread across the globe, we’re working to answer the questions on many parents’ minds. For the latest updates, read The New York Times’s live coronavirus coverage here. |
| It’s been four weeks since I’ve seen my kids, and I’m starting to miss them. | It’s been four weeks since I’ve seen my kids, and I’m starting to miss them. |
| On March 14, my mother-in-law, a retired United Nations worker who had participated in pandemic drills, saw the writing on the wall and announced that we should send the boys to her in Connecticut. | On March 14, my mother-in-law, a retired United Nations worker who had participated in pandemic drills, saw the writing on the wall and announced that we should send the boys to her in Connecticut. |
| “I’m not sure,” I said. “They haven’t closed the schools.” | “I’m not sure,” I said. “They haven’t closed the schools.” |
| “They will definitely close the schools,” she said over the phone. “And you need to be at the hospital.” | “They will definitely close the schools,” she said over the phone. “And you need to be at the hospital.” |
| I was still in denial about the impact the coronavirus would have on everyone’s life, even though as a hospital-based doctor, I was already taking care of the first few patients with Covid-19 at the Midtown Manhattan hospital where I work. | I was still in denial about the impact the coronavirus would have on everyone’s life, even though as a hospital-based doctor, I was already taking care of the first few patients with Covid-19 at the Midtown Manhattan hospital where I work. |
| My husband and I reluctantly agreed to send our two sons away, and the next evening, after the boys were already at their grandmother’s house, on the Ides of March, the New York City public schools were closed. | My husband and I reluctantly agreed to send our two sons away, and the next evening, after the boys were already at their grandmother’s house, on the Ides of March, the New York City public schools were closed. |
| “We’re lucky,” I told my husband. We didn’t have to scramble for child care. The intensity at both of our jobs was ratcheting up — while my work was at the hospital, my husband’s law practice was seeing a tsunami of new legal work related to the pandemic. | “We’re lucky,” I told my husband. We didn’t have to scramble for child care. The intensity at both of our jobs was ratcheting up — while my work was at the hospital, my husband’s law practice was seeing a tsunami of new legal work related to the pandemic. |
| “When do you think we’ll see them again?” he asked. | “When do you think we’ll see them again?” he asked. |
| “Maybe in two weeks?” | “Maybe in two weeks?” |
| The weekend the kids left was a blur — I spent most of it at the hospital. Covid-19 had arrived, but tests were scarce. The New York City Department of Health had a small number of test kits that were meted out to hospitals around the city with stringent guidelines about who should be tested — only people who had been in China or had contacts with those who had tested positive. Patients who were already hospitalized with pneumonias and fevers were not eligible for testing. | The weekend the kids left was a blur — I spent most of it at the hospital. Covid-19 had arrived, but tests were scarce. The New York City Department of Health had a small number of test kits that were meted out to hospitals around the city with stringent guidelines about who should be tested — only people who had been in China or had contacts with those who had tested positive. Patients who were already hospitalized with pneumonias and fevers were not eligible for testing. |
| Over the weekend, a patient who had recently been discharged after treatment for non-coronavirus-related symptoms returned within 24 hours, febrile and coughing. The E.R. sent one of the few Covid-19 swabs we still had. When the test returned positive, I felt my stomach lurch. I couldn’t help but think of the classic horror movie trope: “The call is coming from inside the house.” | Over the weekend, a patient who had recently been discharged after treatment for non-coronavirus-related symptoms returned within 24 hours, febrile and coughing. The E.R. sent one of the few Covid-19 swabs we still had. When the test returned positive, I felt my stomach lurch. I couldn’t help but think of the classic horror movie trope: “The call is coming from inside the house.” |
| The patient had probably had Covid-19 for most of his prior hospitalization. This was when I realized that the kids wouldn’t be back anytime soon. | The patient had probably had Covid-19 for most of his prior hospitalization. This was when I realized that the kids wouldn’t be back anytime soon. |
| “You must miss your kids,” people at work would say. | “You must miss your kids,” people at work would say. |
| I didn’t miss them for the first couple of weeks. I channeled my blackest, stoniest heart — the one I had developed when I sleep trained them as babies and when I dropped them off at day care as tiny weeks-old bundles after returning to work from maternity leave. The same cold heart that threw away their pacifiers the way the pediatrician recommended, and more recently, the one that frequently declines to chaperone school field trips. | I didn’t miss them for the first couple of weeks. I channeled my blackest, stoniest heart — the one I had developed when I sleep trained them as babies and when I dropped them off at day care as tiny weeks-old bundles after returning to work from maternity leave. The same cold heart that threw away their pacifiers the way the pediatrician recommended, and more recently, the one that frequently declines to chaperone school field trips. |
| I told my colleagues that the kids were having a great time in Connecticut. They were riding bikes and chasing chickens. They weren’t cooped up in a New York City apartment. And I wasn’t cooped up with them in a New York City apartment. | I told my colleagues that the kids were having a great time in Connecticut. They were riding bikes and chasing chickens. They weren’t cooped up in a New York City apartment. And I wasn’t cooped up with them in a New York City apartment. |
| At work, though, it was hard to nurture a heart of stone. Staff would burst into tears at nursing stations. Co-workers were getting sick. Family members of colleagues were hospitalized. New Yorkers were beginning to panic. My usually phlegmatic colleagues broke down. | At work, though, it was hard to nurture a heart of stone. Staff would burst into tears at nursing stations. Co-workers were getting sick. Family members of colleagues were hospitalized. New Yorkers were beginning to panic. My usually phlegmatic colleagues broke down. |
| “Both my husband and I are health care workers,” one said. “I’m scared.” | “Both my husband and I are health care workers,” one said. “I’m scared.” |
| The patients with Covid-19 were hermetically sealed in their isolation rooms, forbidden to have visitors. I’d gear up with my personal protective equipment, and make my way into their rooms, listen to their lungs, check their oxygen levels and give a pep talk. | The patients with Covid-19 were hermetically sealed in their isolation rooms, forbidden to have visitors. I’d gear up with my personal protective equipment, and make my way into their rooms, listen to their lungs, check their oxygen levels and give a pep talk. |
| “This is a waiting game,” I’d say through my N95 mask. | “This is a waiting game,” I’d say through my N95 mask. |
| “But do you think I’m going to die?” they asked. | “But do you think I’m going to die?” they asked. |
| At the end of a 12-hour shift, I’d go home and spend 15 minutes FaceTiming with my sons. Most of the time the phone would show the ceiling at their grandmother’s house, or the wallpaper to the left of where one of my son’s faces might be, just out of the frame. | At the end of a 12-hour shift, I’d go home and spend 15 minutes FaceTiming with my sons. Most of the time the phone would show the ceiling at their grandmother’s house, or the wallpaper to the left of where one of my son’s faces might be, just out of the frame. |
| Updated June 12, 2020 | Updated June 12, 2020 |
| So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement. | So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement. |
| Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks. | |
| A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study. | A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study. |
| The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April. | The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April. |
| Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission. | Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission. |
| Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home. | Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home. |
| States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. | States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. |
| Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days. | Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days. |
| If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.) | If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.) |
| Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications. | Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications. |
| The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing. | The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing. |
| If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others. | If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others. |
| If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested. | If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested. |
| “I can’t see you,” I’d say. “I can only see the wall.” | “I can’t see you,” I’d say. “I can only see the wall.” |
| “Show me the Magna-Tiles,” my 5-year-old would say. | “Show me the Magna-Tiles,” my 5-year-old would say. |
| Some days were exhilarating. I’d taken care of thousands of pneumonias, but Covid-19 didn’t seem to have a playbook. The disease course was still uncertain and we saw patterns emerge in real time. We tried treatments I had never used before, like a strategy called “awake proning” where patients lie on their stomachs to improve the flow of oxygen to their lungs. I texted with medical friends around the country. Are you seeing liver abnormalities? Are you prescribing steroids? Some patients with Covid-19 would worsen suddenly, and I had the luxury of staying late to take care of them. My kids were in Connecticut building fairy houses out of sticks and leaves. | Some days were exhilarating. I’d taken care of thousands of pneumonias, but Covid-19 didn’t seem to have a playbook. The disease course was still uncertain and we saw patterns emerge in real time. We tried treatments I had never used before, like a strategy called “awake proning” where patients lie on their stomachs to improve the flow of oxygen to their lungs. I texted with medical friends around the country. Are you seeing liver abnormalities? Are you prescribing steroids? Some patients with Covid-19 would worsen suddenly, and I had the luxury of staying late to take care of them. My kids were in Connecticut building fairy houses out of sticks and leaves. |
| “Logistically, this is better for everyone,” I’d tell co-workers. I hoped it was better for everyone. | “Logistically, this is better for everyone,” I’d tell co-workers. I hoped it was better for everyone. |
| Other days were harder. A patient, and then a colleague, died of Covid-19. I had just seen both of them, and abruptly they were gone. Health care administrators started to use military language to describe the pandemic response: Staff were deployed. We were fighting an invisible enemy. Thanks to everyone in the trenches. My kids would appear fuzzy on FaceTime, hair wet from their bath, belly buttons peeking out from their pajamas. My 8-year-old son was hard to read. He would leave the call quickly. | Other days were harder. A patient, and then a colleague, died of Covid-19. I had just seen both of them, and abruptly they were gone. Health care administrators started to use military language to describe the pandemic response: Staff were deployed. We were fighting an invisible enemy. Thanks to everyone in the trenches. My kids would appear fuzzy on FaceTime, hair wet from their bath, belly buttons peeking out from their pajamas. My 8-year-old son was hard to read. He would leave the call quickly. |
| “How many more days?” the 5-year-old asked. “How many more days ’til we come back to ’York?” | “How many more days?” the 5-year-old asked. “How many more days ’til we come back to ’York?” |
| I didn’t have an answer for him, and I still don’t know. Sometimes I think my kids’ sense of time is limited to five-minute warnings and 30-minute TV shows. Over the last few weeks I’ve hoped that it is. Still, I realize, like the rest of the world, my boys want to know when they can return to their regular life of bunk beds, circle time, playgrounds and scooters. | I didn’t have an answer for him, and I still don’t know. Sometimes I think my kids’ sense of time is limited to five-minute warnings and 30-minute TV shows. Over the last few weeks I’ve hoped that it is. Still, I realize, like the rest of the world, my boys want to know when they can return to their regular life of bunk beds, circle time, playgrounds and scooters. |
| I’m eager to know when I can scoop them up, sniff the tops of their heads and prepare snack plates that they won’t eat. | I’m eager to know when I can scoop them up, sniff the tops of their heads and prepare snack plates that they won’t eat. |
| “Soon,” I say. “Soon.” | “Soon,” I say. “Soon.” |
| Grace Farris, M.D., is chief of hospital medicine at Mount Sinai West in New York City. | Grace Farris, M.D., is chief of hospital medicine at Mount Sinai West in New York City. |