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With Two 2020 Graduates, Finding New Ways to Graduate Together With Two 2020 Graduates, Finding New Ways to Graduate Together
(about 5 hours later)
With the coronavirus replacing many graduation ceremonies with virtual pomp and circumstance, many families are feeling the loss of a significant ritual. And for parents with children graduating from both high school and college this year, the letdown is supersized.With the coronavirus replacing many graduation ceremonies with virtual pomp and circumstance, many families are feeling the loss of a significant ritual. And for parents with children graduating from both high school and college this year, the letdown is supersized.
“Missing out on solemn and formal, joyous and exuberant anticipated events is as heartbreaking for seniors as it is for their parents. Families of double seniors face a heavy thwack of disappointments,” said Wendy Mogel, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles.“Missing out on solemn and formal, joyous and exuberant anticipated events is as heartbreaking for seniors as it is for their parents. Families of double seniors face a heavy thwack of disappointments,” said Wendy Mogel, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles.
“There is definitely a gap right now that is difficult to fill,” said Simon J. Bronner, author of “Campus Traditions: Folklore From the Old-Time College to the Modern Mega-University.” “We can do online classes and virtual events, but the milestone of the commencement is difficult to simulate.”“There is definitely a gap right now that is difficult to fill,” said Simon J. Bronner, author of “Campus Traditions: Folklore From the Old-Time College to the Modern Mega-University.” “We can do online classes and virtual events, but the milestone of the commencement is difficult to simulate.”
Dr. Bronner, dean of the College of General Studies at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, and professor of social sciences, said, “For students graduating from high school, graduation is the formal ceremony marking your independence, your separation from home.”Dr. Bronner, dean of the College of General Studies at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, and professor of social sciences, said, “For students graduating from high school, graduation is the formal ceremony marking your independence, your separation from home.”
Dr. Bronner, who helped plan his school’s May 15 virtual ceremony, said “we need to be creative as educators and work with students to see what their emotional needs are, to find some kind of ritual closure, because they are not getting that now.”Dr. Bronner, who helped plan his school’s May 15 virtual ceremony, said “we need to be creative as educators and work with students to see what their emotional needs are, to find some kind of ritual closure, because they are not getting that now.”
But the cancellation of traditional commencements is giving families with multiple graduates opportunities to celebrate in new ways.But the cancellation of traditional commencements is giving families with multiple graduates opportunities to celebrate in new ways.
According to Dr. Bronner, there may be a silver lining in the creation of these new rituals. “Commencements have changed over the years, becoming larger, and they have lost some of the social intimacy they used to have, and less centered on the students,” he said. “Commencements are supposed to be student-centered.”According to Dr. Bronner, there may be a silver lining in the creation of these new rituals. “Commencements have changed over the years, becoming larger, and they have lost some of the social intimacy they used to have, and less centered on the students,” he said. “Commencements are supposed to be student-centered.”
On May 2, Katie Kresnak watched from her house in Lafayette, Calif., as her 22-year-old daughter, Hannah, graduated from the University of Michigan in a ceremony she and her housemates — who had quarantined together — held in their front yard. With all 11 of the graduates’ families watching online, the women took turns walking across a makeshift stage, with each speaking about the others. The families also got a chance to talk about their graduates in a ceremony that Ms. Kresnak said felt intimate.On May 2, Katie Kresnak watched from her house in Lafayette, Calif., as her 22-year-old daughter, Hannah, graduated from the University of Michigan in a ceremony she and her housemates — who had quarantined together — held in their front yard. With all 11 of the graduates’ families watching online, the women took turns walking across a makeshift stage, with each speaking about the others. The families also got a chance to talk about their graduates in a ceremony that Ms. Kresnak said felt intimate.
“It provided that closure you need psychologically to move from one chapter to the next,” Ms. Kresnak said. “It was so much more memorable and meaningful than if we had been there in person.”“It provided that closure you need psychologically to move from one chapter to the next,” Ms. Kresnak said. “It was so much more memorable and meaningful than if we had been there in person.”
If plans hold, she and her 18-year-old son, Nick, who will be attending the University of Washington, will get similar closure next month when he is to graduate from Acalanes High School. The school has tentative plans to have students — at scheduled times — walk by themselves down a corridor decorated with memories from their senior year, then outside to the school entrance where they will walk across the stage and either get their diploma from the principal if public health officials allow it, or pick it up from a table, Ms. Kresnak said.If plans hold, she and her 18-year-old son, Nick, who will be attending the University of Washington, will get similar closure next month when he is to graduate from Acalanes High School. The school has tentative plans to have students — at scheduled times — walk by themselves down a corridor decorated with memories from their senior year, then outside to the school entrance where they will walk across the stage and either get their diploma from the principal if public health officials allow it, or pick it up from a table, Ms. Kresnak said.
“I’ve been so impressed by the effort that the school and our community have made to support the seniors,” Ms. Kresnak said. “Acalanes has this saying now of ‘Community Can’t Be Canceled,’ and it’s really been so supportive.”“I’ve been so impressed by the effort that the school and our community have made to support the seniors,” Ms. Kresnak said. “Acalanes has this saying now of ‘Community Can’t Be Canceled,’ and it’s really been so supportive.”
Humor is keeping Anne O’Brien of South Riding, Va., sane as she deals with a high school senior, a college senior, and a daughter who was supposed to get married in a few weeks but had to postpone the ceremony because of the pandemic.Humor is keeping Anne O’Brien of South Riding, Va., sane as she deals with a high school senior, a college senior, and a daughter who was supposed to get married in a few weeks but had to postpone the ceremony because of the pandemic.
“We hit the jackpot here,” said Ms. O’Brien, a neonatal intensive care nurse. “If you ask any of the girls, they say they have it worst.”“We hit the jackpot here,” said Ms. O’Brien, a neonatal intensive care nurse. “If you ask any of the girls, they say they have it worst.”
Aydyn O’Brien, 17, graduating from Freedom High School next month in a virtual ceremony and planning to attend Florida State University, has commiserated with her sister, Marin, 22, graduating from the University of South Carolina — the planned ceremony earlier this month has been postponed, with plans for the in-person ceremony in August.Aydyn O’Brien, 17, graduating from Freedom High School next month in a virtual ceremony and planning to attend Florida State University, has commiserated with her sister, Marin, 22, graduating from the University of South Carolina — the planned ceremony earlier this month has been postponed, with plans for the in-person ceremony in August.
“It was really nice to have her back home because she understood how I was feeling,” Aydyn said. “We feel bad for each other, and we can share how we are hurting over this.”“It was really nice to have her back home because she understood how I was feeling,” Aydyn said. “We feel bad for each other, and we can share how we are hurting over this.”
The sisters posed for a photo shoot together, with Aydyn in her prom gown and Marin wearing a dress pulled from her bedroom closet since her gown for her sorority formal was back at college with the rest of her belongings.The sisters posed for a photo shoot together, with Aydyn in her prom gown and Marin wearing a dress pulled from her bedroom closet since her gown for her sorority formal was back at college with the rest of her belongings.
Paula Martin of Boulder, Colo., credits her 21-year-old son, Jackson, with helping her cope with her sadness over missing his graduation from Amherst College on May 31 with his optimism and sunny outlook for the future. Jackson also has been a good sounding board for 18-year-old Henry, graduating from Boulder High School and planning to attend the University of Puget Sound, as Henry mourns missed traditions with friends. Ms. Martin hopes a car parade on May 17, where students in their caps and gowns circle the school in cars as teachers, family and friends — appropriately social distanced — line the route with signs, will help bring joy.Paula Martin of Boulder, Colo., credits her 21-year-old son, Jackson, with helping her cope with her sadness over missing his graduation from Amherst College on May 31 with his optimism and sunny outlook for the future. Jackson also has been a good sounding board for 18-year-old Henry, graduating from Boulder High School and planning to attend the University of Puget Sound, as Henry mourns missed traditions with friends. Ms. Martin hopes a car parade on May 17, where students in their caps and gowns circle the school in cars as teachers, family and friends — appropriately social distanced — line the route with signs, will help bring joy.
“We have learned that it’s OK to mourn what they are missing this year. We have learned not to take rituals for granted,” Ms. Martin said. “The takeaway from this is to find different ways to commemorate or find joy in different kinds of experiences.”“We have learned that it’s OK to mourn what they are missing this year. We have learned not to take rituals for granted,” Ms. Martin said. “The takeaway from this is to find different ways to commemorate or find joy in different kinds of experiences.”
The Martins now have a family book club, started after Ms. Martin joked that they had all run out of things to talk about. She hopes it will continue well beyond the pandemic.The Martins now have a family book club, started after Ms. Martin joked that they had all run out of things to talk about. She hopes it will continue well beyond the pandemic.
Marcia Maziarz of Washington, D.C., is saddened that neither of her daughters will ever see the other graduate from high school. Anna Ruhlman, 18, had to miss her sister Claire’s high school graduation four years ago because her own middle school graduation ceremony was the same day and time.Marcia Maziarz of Washington, D.C., is saddened that neither of her daughters will ever see the other graduate from high school. Anna Ruhlman, 18, had to miss her sister Claire’s high school graduation four years ago because her own middle school graduation ceremony was the same day and time.
Updated June 12, 2020 Updated June 16, 2020
The coronavirus emergency relief package gives many American workers paid leave if they need to take time off because of the virus. It gives qualified workers two weeks of paid sick leave if they are ill, quarantined or seeking diagnosis or preventive care for coronavirus, or if they are caring for sick family members. It gives 12 weeks of paid leave to people caring for children whose schools are closed or whose child care provider is unavailable because of the coronavirus. It is the first time the United States has had widespread federally mandated paid leave, and includes people who don’t typically get such benefits, like part-time and gig economy workers. But the measure excludes at least half of private-sector workers, including those at the country’s largest employers, and gives small employers significant leeway to deny leave.
So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.
The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
“Before that never seemed like that big of a deal, but now it feels different because I won’t get to see Claire graduate from Bates (College) now,” said Anna, who is graduating from School Without Walls High School and planning to attend Temple University.“Before that never seemed like that big of a deal, but now it feels different because I won’t get to see Claire graduate from Bates (College) now,” said Anna, who is graduating from School Without Walls High School and planning to attend Temple University.
Ms. Maziarz hopes Anna will do a short commencement walk on their block with other high school seniors who live nearby to celebrate her graduation next month. For Claire, whose virtual graduation ceremony is May 31, Ms. Maziarz received a package from Bates College that included a blank “blessing card.” These cards, filled with notes from loved ones, are normally posted on the arches that graduates pass through during graduation.Ms. Maziarz hopes Anna will do a short commencement walk on their block with other high school seniors who live nearby to celebrate her graduation next month. For Claire, whose virtual graduation ceremony is May 31, Ms. Maziarz received a package from Bates College that included a blank “blessing card.” These cards, filled with notes from loved ones, are normally posted on the arches that graduates pass through during graduation.
“Maybe we can recreate that here somehow,” Ms. Maziarz said.“Maybe we can recreate that here somehow,” Ms. Maziarz said.
Shelby Roscoe of Newburgh, Ind., watched helplessly as her 22-year-old daughter, Mahayla, learned she had four days to leave DePauw University before it was closed for the academic year. Her virtual ceremony is May 17.Shelby Roscoe of Newburgh, Ind., watched helplessly as her 22-year-old daughter, Mahayla, learned she had four days to leave DePauw University before it was closed for the academic year. Her virtual ceremony is May 17.
“She tried to cram in all the senior traditions she could with her friends in those four days,” Ms. Roscoe said. “I’m glad she at least had some closure.”“She tried to cram in all the senior traditions she could with her friends in those four days,” Ms. Roscoe said. “I’m glad she at least had some closure.”
But Ms. Roscoe’s 18-year-old son, Kolbe, has not been able to cap off his senior year at Signature School in Evansville, Ind., with time-honored traditions, including a planned May 21 graduation ceremony, before he heads off to Purdue University in the fall.But Ms. Roscoe’s 18-year-old son, Kolbe, has not been able to cap off his senior year at Signature School in Evansville, Ind., with time-honored traditions, including a planned May 21 graduation ceremony, before he heads off to Purdue University in the fall.
“We will find ways to celebrate them, but there is not that closure of seeing them walk across a stage,” Ms. Roscoe said. “It may be just decorating our front door, to make it loud and big, so people know we are proud of our graduates.”“We will find ways to celebrate them, but there is not that closure of seeing them walk across a stage,” Ms. Roscoe said. “It may be just decorating our front door, to make it loud and big, so people know we are proud of our graduates.”
Melissa Guthrie of Dickson, Tenn., celebrated her birthday on May 8 while her daughter, RaeAnn, 21, graduated from Mississippi College, her degree conferred in a Facebook Live ceremony. RaeAnn watched the celebration with her family from their home.Melissa Guthrie of Dickson, Tenn., celebrated her birthday on May 8 while her daughter, RaeAnn, 21, graduated from Mississippi College, her degree conferred in a Facebook Live ceremony. RaeAnn watched the celebration with her family from their home.
Ms. Guthrie hopes to see her 18-year-old son, Ian, walk across the stage in June if Dickson County High School can hold its planned ceremony on the football field. Ian plans to attend Nashville State Community College in the fall.Ms. Guthrie hopes to see her 18-year-old son, Ian, walk across the stage in June if Dickson County High School can hold its planned ceremony on the football field. Ian plans to attend Nashville State Community College in the fall.
But even if the ceremony takes place, they’ve been told that because of social distancing, Ian would be able to invite only four people.But even if the ceremony takes place, they’ve been told that because of social distancing, Ian would be able to invite only four people.
“He has three siblings, so which one will make the cut, that will be memorable,” Ms. Guthrie said.“He has three siblings, so which one will make the cut, that will be memorable,” Ms. Guthrie said.