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When a Close Friend Has Doubts About Vaccinations When a Close Friend Has Doubts About Vaccinations
(32 minutes later)
I was at a barbecue with a few of my closest friends last summer when the topic of vaccines came up. In the kitchen, while grabbing plates and silverware for the table, I flippantly muttered something like, “Anti-vaxxers are the worst.” I assumed we all shared the same stance. “I think I might be one,” my friend replied.I was at a barbecue with a few of my closest friends last summer when the topic of vaccines came up. In the kitchen, while grabbing plates and silverware for the table, I flippantly muttered something like, “Anti-vaxxers are the worst.” I assumed we all shared the same stance. “I think I might be one,” my friend replied.
What ensued was a three-hour dinner conversation that went nowhere. We talked at each other, two of us pressing on about the public health benefits conferred by vaccines and the safety of them while my friend expressed her concerns and hesitancy. We managed to keep it civil: No one yelled or ended up in tears. But it was tense.What ensued was a three-hour dinner conversation that went nowhere. We talked at each other, two of us pressing on about the public health benefits conferred by vaccines and the safety of them while my friend expressed her concerns and hesitancy. We managed to keep it civil: No one yelled or ended up in tears. But it was tense.
Weeks later, I called my friend to hear her out. (The barbecue was never supposed to turn into a two-against-one, defend-your-stance-on-vaccines debate.) I wanted to understand her point of view and how she got there.Weeks later, I called my friend to hear her out. (The barbecue was never supposed to turn into a two-against-one, defend-your-stance-on-vaccines debate.) I wanted to understand her point of view and how she got there.
She told me that just after giving birth to her first child the doctors gave her contradicting feedback. One said her newborn had high white blood cell levels and needed medication. Another said she didn’t. Ultimately she decided to trust her gut and refused the medication. Her baby was fine. And so the seeds of mistrust were sowed. It led her to question the medical establishment, including the recommended vaccine schedule.She told me that just after giving birth to her first child the doctors gave her contradicting feedback. One said her newborn had high white blood cell levels and needed medication. Another said she didn’t. Ultimately she decided to trust her gut and refused the medication. Her baby was fine. And so the seeds of mistrust were sowed. It led her to question the medical establishment, including the recommended vaccine schedule.
The World Health Organization, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and a significant majority of health care professionals agree that vaccines are safe and crucial for public health. Risks or side effects associated with vaccines are rarely serious, studies have found. Yet, for a variety of reasons, many people have concerns about them. Those concerns can lead to a decline in immunizations and, consequently, the resurgence of vaccine-preventable diseases. (Some people with certain conditions, like allergies or immunodeficiencies, should not get vaccinated.)The World Health Organization, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and a significant majority of health care professionals agree that vaccines are safe and crucial for public health. Risks or side effects associated with vaccines are rarely serious, studies have found. Yet, for a variety of reasons, many people have concerns about them. Those concerns can lead to a decline in immunizations and, consequently, the resurgence of vaccine-preventable diseases. (Some people with certain conditions, like allergies or immunodeficiencies, should not get vaccinated.)
Distrust of science, along with anti-vaccine rhetoric, is on the rise during the coronavirus pandemic. Fears of being exposed to Covid-19 have also led to childhood vaccinations falling to an “alarming” rate.Distrust of science, along with anti-vaccine rhetoric, is on the rise during the coronavirus pandemic. Fears of being exposed to Covid-19 have also led to childhood vaccinations falling to an “alarming” rate.
Widespread vaccination is key to protecting the health of the general population. Dialogue-based interventions have been shown to be among the most effective methods for addressing vaccine hesitancy. There are respectful ways to have these challenging conversations with vaccine-hesitant friends, colleagues, family members and even strangers, and perhaps persuade them about the safety and benefits of vaccines.Widespread vaccination is key to protecting the health of the general population. Dialogue-based interventions have been shown to be among the most effective methods for addressing vaccine hesitancy. There are respectful ways to have these challenging conversations with vaccine-hesitant friends, colleagues, family members and even strangers, and perhaps persuade them about the safety and benefits of vaccines.
Those who question vaccines fall along a spectrum, ranging from categorical rejection of vaccines to hesitancy about vaccines. Those who are adamantly against vaccines may subscribe to theories that have been debunked and misinformation that proliferates across social media, like the recent “Plandemic” documentary that promotes dangerous coronavirus theories.Those who question vaccines fall along a spectrum, ranging from categorical rejection of vaccines to hesitancy about vaccines. Those who are adamantly against vaccines may subscribe to theories that have been debunked and misinformation that proliferates across social media, like the recent “Plandemic” documentary that promotes dangerous coronavirus theories.
The vaccine-hesitant group has concerns; maybe they have read something online or heard about a friend who said that their child had a bad reaction to a vaccine. Some are less averse to the actual vaccines than they are a government-mandated schedule. Many who identify as vaccine-hesitant refuse certain vaccines but accept others. Others choose to vaccinate their children, but on a delayed schedule. (Peer reviewed studies have shown that the current childhood vaccine schedule is safe.)The vaccine-hesitant group has concerns; maybe they have read something online or heard about a friend who said that their child had a bad reaction to a vaccine. Some are less averse to the actual vaccines than they are a government-mandated schedule. Many who identify as vaccine-hesitant refuse certain vaccines but accept others. Others choose to vaccinate their children, but on a delayed schedule. (Peer reviewed studies have shown that the current childhood vaccine schedule is safe.)
Paul A. Offit, M.D., the director of the Vaccine Education Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and a leading vaccine researcher, said not to bother with the group that rejects vaccines wholesale. “They won’t budge, it’s not worth it,” he said.Paul A. Offit, M.D., the director of the Vaccine Education Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and a leading vaccine researcher, said not to bother with the group that rejects vaccines wholesale. “They won’t budge, it’s not worth it,” he said.
Lynn, 30, of Pittsburgh, who asked that her last name not be used to avoid contention with her family, had to stop talking to her sister about vaccines because the conversations led to arguments. Lynn’s sister didn’t vaccinate her children, and Lynn would argue with her about vaccination for about a year after the birth of each child. . She was concerned for the safety of her nieces and nephews. Now, she said, she and her sister mostly avoid the topic.Lynn, 30, of Pittsburgh, who asked that her last name not be used to avoid contention with her family, had to stop talking to her sister about vaccines because the conversations led to arguments. Lynn’s sister didn’t vaccinate her children, and Lynn would argue with her about vaccination for about a year after the birth of each child. . She was concerned for the safety of her nieces and nephews. Now, she said, she and her sister mostly avoid the topic.
Dr. Offit explained how people may not see the value in childhood vaccines for diseases like measles, mumps and rubella because vaccines have largely eradicated those diseases in the United States.Dr. Offit explained how people may not see the value in childhood vaccines for diseases like measles, mumps and rubella because vaccines have largely eradicated those diseases in the United States.
There are far more people who fall into the vaccine-hesitant camp, Dr. Offit said. He said the majority of those with concerns about vaccines and are delaying or foregoing some of them are “convincible.” So, how does one start the conversation?There are far more people who fall into the vaccine-hesitant camp, Dr. Offit said. He said the majority of those with concerns about vaccines and are delaying or foregoing some of them are “convincible.” So, how does one start the conversation?
Vaccination is a charged topic. When people feel judged about their parenting decisions, emotions will run high. It’s not the kind of discussion to wander into without warning at a Thanksgiving gathering or a birthday party, cautions Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a perinatal psychiatrist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine who specializes in women’s mental health and perinatal psychiatry. “You should go into it fully prepared and intentionally,” Dr. Lakshmin said.Vaccination is a charged topic. When people feel judged about their parenting decisions, emotions will run high. It’s not the kind of discussion to wander into without warning at a Thanksgiving gathering or a birthday party, cautions Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a perinatal psychiatrist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine who specializes in women’s mental health and perinatal psychiatry. “You should go into it fully prepared and intentionally,” Dr. Lakshmin said.
It also may be difficult to resist bringing up articles, statistics, studies and anecdotes to make your case. But Dr. Lakshmin said that “getting into a back and forth about facts isn’t going to be helpful either.” It inevitably devolves into one-upmanship and, she said, “It’s just a volleyball being tossed back and forth. Nobody is digesting the facts.”It also may be difficult to resist bringing up articles, statistics, studies and anecdotes to make your case. But Dr. Lakshmin said that “getting into a back and forth about facts isn’t going to be helpful either.” It inevitably devolves into one-upmanship and, she said, “It’s just a volleyball being tossed back and forth. Nobody is digesting the facts.”
Emily, 35, a mother of three from Ithaca, N.Y., who chose not to vaccinate her children, said conversations she’s had in which facts and statistics are tossed around go nowhere. “That’s not a human discussion,” said Emily, who asked that her last name be withheld to protect her family from online harassment. “These are issues that need compassion and facts alone don’t have compassion.”Emily, 35, a mother of three from Ithaca, N.Y., who chose not to vaccinate her children, said conversations she’s had in which facts and statistics are tossed around go nowhere. “That’s not a human discussion,” said Emily, who asked that her last name be withheld to protect her family from online harassment. “These are issues that need compassion and facts alone don’t have compassion.”
You want to create a space to have the conversation that feels safe for everyone. I spoke to several vaccine-hesitant parents who expressed fear of being labeled “anti-vaxx” or judged for their parenting.You want to create a space to have the conversation that feels safe for everyone. I spoke to several vaccine-hesitant parents who expressed fear of being labeled “anti-vaxx” or judged for their parenting.
“I don’t feel safe speaking out about vaccines,” said Sophie Jaffe, 36, the Los Angeles-based founder of wellness company Philosophie and mother of three. Jaffe described herself as “right in the middle” of the vaccine spectrum, with two kids fully vaccinated and one on a delayed schedule. She believes we should “lean into” these conversations instead of shying away from them, and that they’re easier to have if both parties feel safe being vulnerable.“I don’t feel safe speaking out about vaccines,” said Sophie Jaffe, 36, the Los Angeles-based founder of wellness company Philosophie and mother of three. Jaffe described herself as “right in the middle” of the vaccine spectrum, with two kids fully vaccinated and one on a delayed schedule. She believes we should “lean into” these conversations instead of shying away from them, and that they’re easier to have if both parties feel safe being vulnerable.
To ensure a safe space and lay the groundwork for a productive conversation, Dr. Lakshmin suggested that these conversations happen one-on-one. And because face-to-face conversations may be, for many, only possible by video chat or on the phone during social distancing mandates, consider the medium as well as the message. Latham Thomas, a maternal health advocate and doula, recommended FaceTime or WhatsApp over Zoom. “Zoom has become too formal,” she said. “Use interfaces that foster personal connections.”To ensure a safe space and lay the groundwork for a productive conversation, Dr. Lakshmin suggested that these conversations happen one-on-one. And because face-to-face conversations may be, for many, only possible by video chat or on the phone during social distancing mandates, consider the medium as well as the message. Latham Thomas, a maternal health advocate and doula, recommended FaceTime or WhatsApp over Zoom. “Zoom has become too formal,” she said. “Use interfaces that foster personal connections.”
Listening sounds simple but it can be challenging when both parties come in with deeply held convictions. And these conversations only work when people feel heard.Listening sounds simple but it can be challenging when both parties come in with deeply held convictions. And these conversations only work when people feel heard.
Sabrina H. Zubair, M.D., a pediatrician at Northwestern Medicine Central DuPage Hospital, said she’s found the best approach is to “really listen to the parents and their concerns and come at it from an objective nonjudgmental way.”Sabrina H. Zubair, M.D., a pediatrician at Northwestern Medicine Central DuPage Hospital, said she’s found the best approach is to “really listen to the parents and their concerns and come at it from an objective nonjudgmental way.”
Katie Sandlin, 32, who works as a curriculum specialist at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, has many friends and family members who do not vaccinate their children. Sandlin said, “Before I go explaining why they’re wrong, I need to know their perspective and their reasons for being anti or hesitant and try to find common ground. I have to check my personal passion about the issue.”Katie Sandlin, 32, who works as a curriculum specialist at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, has many friends and family members who do not vaccinate their children. Sandlin said, “Before I go explaining why they’re wrong, I need to know their perspective and their reasons for being anti or hesitant and try to find common ground. I have to check my personal passion about the issue.”
Dr. Lakshmin recommends asking open-ended questions and restraining from interjecting your point of view. “Be curious about their experience,” she said. Think of it like an informal interview. “Find out when they first started to have questions,” she said. “What happened that made them start to think twice?”Dr. Lakshmin recommends asking open-ended questions and restraining from interjecting your point of view. “Be curious about their experience,” she said. Think of it like an informal interview. “Find out when they first started to have questions,” she said. “What happened that made them start to think twice?”
Updated June 12, 2020Updated June 12, 2020
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people. Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.So far, the evidence seems to show it does. A widely cited paper published in April suggests that people are most infectious about two days before the onset of coronavirus symptoms and estimated that 44 percent of new infections were a result of transmission from people who were not yet showing symptoms. Recently, a top expert at the World Health Organization stated that transmission of the coronavirus by people who did not have symptoms was “very rare,” but she later walked back that statement.
A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.A study by European scientists is the first to document a strong statistical link between genetic variations and Covid-19, the illness caused by the coronavirus. Having Type A blood was linked to a 50 percent increase in the likelihood that a patient would need to get oxygen or to go on a ventilator, according to the new study.
The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.The unemployment rate fell to 13.3 percent in May, the Labor Department said on June 5, an unexpected improvement in the nation’s job market as hiring rebounded faster than economists expected. Economists had forecast the unemployment rate to increase to as much as 20 percent, after it hit 14.7 percent in April, which was the highest since the government began keeping official statistics after World War II. But the unemployment rate dipped instead, with employers adding 2.5 million jobs, after more than 20 million jobs were lost in April.
Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.Mass protests against police brutality that have brought thousands of people onto the streets in cities across America are raising the specter of new coronavirus outbreaks, prompting political leaders, physicians and public health experts to warn that the crowds could cause a surge in cases. While many political leaders affirmed the right of protesters to express themselves, they urged the demonstrators to wear face masks and maintain social distancing, both to protect themselves and to prevent further community spread of the virus. Some infectious disease experts were reassured by the fact that the protests were held outdoors, saying the open air settings could mitigate the risk of transmission.
Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.Exercise researchers and physicians have some blunt advice for those of us aiming to return to regular exercise now: Start slowly and then rev up your workouts, also slowly. American adults tended to be about 12 percent less active after the stay-at-home mandates began in March than they were in January. But there are steps you can take to ease your way back into regular exercise safely. First, “start at no more than 50 percent of the exercise you were doing before Covid,” says Dr. Monica Rho, the chief of musculoskeletal medicine at the Shirley Ryan AbilityLab in Chicago. Thread in some preparatory squats, too, she advises. “When you haven’t been exercising, you lose muscle mass.” Expect some muscle twinges after these preliminary, post-lockdown sessions, especially a day or two later. But sudden or increasing pain during exercise is a clarion call to stop and return home.
States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.States are reopening bit by bit. This means that more public spaces are available for use and more and more businesses are being allowed to open again. The federal government is largely leaving the decision up to states, and some state leaders are leaving the decision up to local authorities. Even if you aren’t being told to stay at home, it’s still a good idea to limit trips outside and your interaction with other people.
Touching contaminated objects and then infecting ourselves with the germs is not typically how the virus spreads. But it can happen. A number of studies of flu, rhinovirus, coronavirus and other microbes have shown that respiratory illnesses, including the new coronavirus, can spread by touching contaminated surfaces, particularly in places like day care centers, offices and hospitals. But a long chain of events has to happen for the disease to spread that way. The best way to protect yourself from coronavirus — whether it’s surface transmission or close human contact — is still social distancing, washing your hands, not touching your face and wearing masks.
Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.Common symptoms include fever, a dry cough, fatigue and difficulty breathing or shortness of breath. Some of these symptoms overlap with those of the flu, making detection difficult, but runny noses and stuffy sinuses are less common. The C.D.C. has also added chills, muscle pain, sore throat, headache and a new loss of the sense of taste or smell as symptoms to look out for. Most people fall ill five to seven days after exposure, but symptoms may appear in as few as two days or as many as 14 days.
If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)If air travel is unavoidable, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself. Most important: Wash your hands often, and stop touching your face. If possible, choose a window seat. A study from Emory University found that during flu season, the safest place to sit on a plane is by a window, as people sitting in window seats had less contact with potentially sick people. Disinfect hard surfaces. When you get to your seat and your hands are clean, use disinfecting wipes to clean the hard surfaces at your seat like the head and arm rest, the seatbelt buckle, the remote, screen, seat back pocket and the tray table. If the seat is hard and nonporous or leather or pleather, you can wipe that down, too. (Using wipes on upholstered seats could lead to a wet seat and spreading of germs rather than killing them.)
Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.Taking one’s temperature to look for signs of fever is not as easy as it sounds, as “normal” temperature numbers can vary, but generally, keep an eye out for a temperature of 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit or higher. If you don’t have a thermometer (they can be pricey these days), there are other ways to figure out if you have a fever, or are at risk of Covid-19 complications.
The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.
If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.
If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.
After I listened to my vaccine-hesitant friend’s story about the conflicting information she had received from doctors after giving birth, I was able to better understand her point of view, even if I didn’t agree with it, and empathize with her.After I listened to my vaccine-hesitant friend’s story about the conflicting information she had received from doctors after giving birth, I was able to better understand her point of view, even if I didn’t agree with it, and empathize with her.
Try empathizing around something you have in common, like being a parent. “At the end of the day, every parent wants to do what’s best for their child,” Dr. Zubair said. “Sometimes they have different information and they’re scared.”Try empathizing around something you have in common, like being a parent. “At the end of the day, every parent wants to do what’s best for their child,” Dr. Zubair said. “Sometimes they have different information and they’re scared.”
One of the most common approaches to having a conversation about vaccines, and also one of the most surefire ways to ensure it ends badly, is wanting to convince the other person that you are right.One of the most common approaches to having a conversation about vaccines, and also one of the most surefire ways to ensure it ends badly, is wanting to convince the other person that you are right.
Letting go of winning is key to these conversations, Dr. Lakshmin said. “You don’t want to be focused on whether you’re getting your point across or who is the one who is convincing the other,” she said. “You want to understand where this person is coming from.”Letting go of winning is key to these conversations, Dr. Lakshmin said. “You don’t want to be focused on whether you’re getting your point across or who is the one who is convincing the other,” she said. “You want to understand where this person is coming from.”
“Having a right or wrong approach only creates more disconnect and lack of understanding of the other side,” Jaffe said.“Having a right or wrong approach only creates more disconnect and lack of understanding of the other side,” Jaffe said.
This won’t be a one-and-done conversation if you want the result to be a willingness to reconsider vaccinating. The goal, Dr. Lakshmin said, is to get to a second conversation.This won’t be a one-and-done conversation if you want the result to be a willingness to reconsider vaccinating. The goal, Dr. Lakshmin said, is to get to a second conversation.
Mary, 65, a retired registered nurse from Dayton, Ohio, who asked not to include her last name to protect her family from any backlash, continues to try to have the conversation with family members who do not vaccinate their children. “I just try to keep an open heart and hope that I can do more by keeping the dialogue open then by arguing and shutting it down,” she said. She said she tries to refrain from being adversarial while trying to communicate the risks they are taking by refusing to vaccinate. “I haven’t had a lot of effect on them but I keep trying,” she said.Mary, 65, a retired registered nurse from Dayton, Ohio, who asked not to include her last name to protect her family from any backlash, continues to try to have the conversation with family members who do not vaccinate their children. “I just try to keep an open heart and hope that I can do more by keeping the dialogue open then by arguing and shutting it down,” she said. She said she tries to refrain from being adversarial while trying to communicate the risks they are taking by refusing to vaccinate. “I haven’t had a lot of effect on them but I keep trying,” she said.
Dr. Zubair said that she will always try to have the conversation, even with her patients who are deeply opposed to vaccinating their children. “Sometimes parents need to cultivate a relationship with me and it will take a couple of months for them to trust me and follow my suggestions,” she said. And even if the parents don’t change their minds, sometimes the kids decide for themselves. “I’ve had some kids, as they get older, say, ‘I want to do the vaccine.’”Dr. Zubair said that she will always try to have the conversation, even with her patients who are deeply opposed to vaccinating their children. “Sometimes parents need to cultivate a relationship with me and it will take a couple of months for them to trust me and follow my suggestions,” she said. And even if the parents don’t change their minds, sometimes the kids decide for themselves. “I’ve had some kids, as they get older, say, ‘I want to do the vaccine.’”
Leah Chernikoff is the former digital director of Elle magazine.Leah Chernikoff is the former digital director of Elle magazine.