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| How a Suicide Prevention Team Leader Spends His Sundays | How a Suicide Prevention Team Leader Spends His Sundays |
| (about 16 hours later) | |
| Between the pandemic, rising unemployment, widespread protests, looting and curfews, the city is facing dire challenges on all fronts. It’s a lot to process. As the director of public education for Samaritans of New York, a 24-hour suicide-prevention agency, Daron Marino is one of the many mental health workers helping New Yorkers cope right now. | Between the pandemic, rising unemployment, widespread protests, looting and curfews, the city is facing dire challenges on all fronts. It’s a lot to process. As the director of public education for Samaritans of New York, a 24-hour suicide-prevention agency, Daron Marino is one of the many mental health workers helping New Yorkers cope right now. |
| Mr. Marino is active in the Mental Health Wellness Support Line, a free new service introduced by the Samaritans on April 15. Because of the coronavirus outbreak, the nonprofit’s anonymous suicide hotline, which required volunteers to take calls at a center, had to be put on “temporary hold” for the first time in 37 years, the organization said. | Mr. Marino is active in the Mental Health Wellness Support Line, a free new service introduced by the Samaritans on April 15. Because of the coronavirus outbreak, the nonprofit’s anonymous suicide hotline, which required volunteers to take calls at a center, had to be put on “temporary hold” for the first time in 37 years, the organization said. |
| “Now people leave their name, number, and a time they’d like us to call them back” on a voice mail service, Mr. Marino said. Volunteers, all working from home, return calls within 24 hours. “Even though anonymity is no longer a factor, we’ve found people still want to talk and be supported.” | “Now people leave their name, number, and a time they’d like us to call them back” on a voice mail service, Mr. Marino said. Volunteers, all working from home, return calls within 24 hours. “Even though anonymity is no longer a factor, we’ve found people still want to talk and be supported.” |
| Mr. Marino, 31, lives with his wife, Sarah, 34, a nanny, Owen, their dog, and Ms. Jackson, their cat, in Astoria, Queens. | Mr. Marino, 31, lives with his wife, Sarah, 34, a nanny, Owen, their dog, and Ms. Jackson, their cat, in Astoria, Queens. |
| AN EARLY, SLOW START I set the bedtime function on my iPhone for 7 a.m., but I usually wake at 6:30 and try to sleep for 30 more minutes. I take Owen out. Then I check the messages that people have left from last night. There are usually five to 10. | AN EARLY, SLOW START I set the bedtime function on my iPhone for 7 a.m., but I usually wake at 6:30 and try to sleep for 30 more minutes. I take Owen out. Then I check the messages that people have left from last night. There are usually five to 10. |
| Intervention is standing on the edge. We are focused on prevention, connecting with people who are pulled to the edge but aren’t there yet. Unless someone is specifically requesting an early morning time, I don’t return calls until 10. | Intervention is standing on the edge. We are focused on prevention, connecting with people who are pulled to the edge but aren’t there yet. Unless someone is specifically requesting an early morning time, I don’t return calls until 10. |
| SOUNDS AND IMAGES We bought a cold brew contraption off Amazon, which brews coffee overnight in the fridge. We have that in the morning. I add oat milk; Sarah likes half and half. We play the Beach Boys album “Pet Sounds,” which is calming, and talk before starting the day. This crisis has made me more sentimental. | SOUNDS AND IMAGES We bought a cold brew contraption off Amazon, which brews coffee overnight in the fridge. We have that in the morning. I add oat milk; Sarah likes half and half. We play the Beach Boys album “Pet Sounds,” which is calming, and talk before starting the day. This crisis has made me more sentimental. |
| Both of us have taken up photography. At 8 we take Owen for a long walk around the neighborhood. We zig down into different streets, I take people’s photos from a distance in my mask. | Both of us have taken up photography. At 8 we take Owen for a long walk around the neighborhood. We zig down into different streets, I take people’s photos from a distance in my mask. |
| THE CALLS START We’re home by 9. I shower, dress and make a smoothie with spinach, oat milk, peanut butter, chia seeds, strawberries, blueberries and bananas. I’m at the phone by 10, returning people’s calls. I confer with our director of programs and services about who to reach out to. When I call someone back I confirm who I’m talking to, then I dive in. Calls can last 20 to 30 minutes. | THE CALLS START We’re home by 9. I shower, dress and make a smoothie with spinach, oat milk, peanut butter, chia seeds, strawberries, blueberries and bananas. I’m at the phone by 10, returning people’s calls. I confer with our director of programs and services about who to reach out to. When I call someone back I confirm who I’m talking to, then I dive in. Calls can last 20 to 30 minutes. |
| NO JUDGMENT People’s issues haven’t shifted; they’re more heightened. People are concerned about going back to work and what that will look like and if they can social distance. They’re worried about getting food and about their finances. They’re anxious and feeling isolated. They’re still struggling through a bad day, self-harming or have suicidal behaviors. I’ve learned to check my preconceptions at the door and pay attention to my own internal dialogue before coming to any conclusions. As they open up I’m rapport building, connecting, and exploring what they’re struggling with without judgment. | NO JUDGMENT People’s issues haven’t shifted; they’re more heightened. People are concerned about going back to work and what that will look like and if they can social distance. They’re worried about getting food and about their finances. They’re anxious and feeling isolated. They’re still struggling through a bad day, self-harming or have suicidal behaviors. I’ve learned to check my preconceptions at the door and pay attention to my own internal dialogue before coming to any conclusions. As they open up I’m rapport building, connecting, and exploring what they’re struggling with without judgment. |
| OUTREACH After lunch, I check messages again. There might be five or 10 new ones. I call back anyone I need to. Then I work until 4, doing community outreach to churches, cultural or mental health organizations, the Y.M.C.A., the L.G.B.T.Q. community, various sports programs or schools. We are finding it’s particularly hard for children to process what’s going on, and a lot of programs have been suspended. The goal is to get the executive director or the principal on the phone. I leave 20 to 30 messages and hope they get back to me. If I’m feeling fatigued I go on our balcony for some fresh air. | OUTREACH After lunch, I check messages again. There might be five or 10 new ones. I call back anyone I need to. Then I work until 4, doing community outreach to churches, cultural or mental health organizations, the Y.M.C.A., the L.G.B.T.Q. community, various sports programs or schools. We are finding it’s particularly hard for children to process what’s going on, and a lot of programs have been suspended. The goal is to get the executive director or the principal on the phone. I leave 20 to 30 messages and hope they get back to me. If I’m feeling fatigued I go on our balcony for some fresh air. |
| DIALOGUE From 4 to 6 I do video interviews with possible volunteers. That can take an hour per person. I’m trying to get an understanding of what it looks like to them to help others, and why they want to. That’s a huge part. It’s a self-reflection process. And what do they feel about suicide, and providing an open and safe space for others. | DIALOGUE From 4 to 6 I do video interviews with possible volunteers. That can take an hour per person. I’m trying to get an understanding of what it looks like to them to help others, and why they want to. That’s a huge part. It’s a self-reflection process. And what do they feel about suicide, and providing an open and safe space for others. |
| Updated July 23, 2020 | |
| SUPPORT For the next 90 minutes I reach out to the people who are in our survivors of suicide support group. These are people who have lost someone to suicide. When the virus hit, we had to put many groups on hold. It’s a hard subject to talk about. I ask how they’re doing. Then we explore how they’re getting by day to day, if they’re utilizing any close supports, and how they’re currently processing their loss. | SUPPORT For the next 90 minutes I reach out to the people who are in our survivors of suicide support group. These are people who have lost someone to suicide. When the virus hit, we had to put many groups on hold. It’s a hard subject to talk about. I ask how they’re doing. Then we explore how they’re getting by day to day, if they’re utilizing any close supports, and how they’re currently processing their loss. |
| TURN OFF THE DAY By 8 I’m really excited to reconnect with Sarah. We spend the next hour with the dog outside. We might go bike riding or take a walk. I’m learning to compartmentalize and turn off the day, which is hard. Callers pop randomly into my head. The work is difficult because I know so many people are struggling. The hardest part is that these interactions are temporary. Sometimes I only speak one time to someone. I’m left with, “I hope they’re OK right now.” | TURN OFF THE DAY By 8 I’m really excited to reconnect with Sarah. We spend the next hour with the dog outside. We might go bike riding or take a walk. I’m learning to compartmentalize and turn off the day, which is hard. Callers pop randomly into my head. The work is difficult because I know so many people are struggling. The hardest part is that these interactions are temporary. Sometimes I only speak one time to someone. I’m left with, “I hope they’re OK right now.” |
| DE-STRESS We’re home by 9 and have dinner: roast chicken, lasagna, or chickpea pasta. Sarah is an incredible cook. Sometimes to de-stress I’ll read a photography book. I’ve been buying a bunch online like Mel Rosenthal and Jamel Shabazz. We’ve been getting into card games like Uno, or we’ll watch old movies: “Gone in 60 Seconds,” “Broken Arrow,” the “Die Hards.” I grew up in the 1990s and these are nostalgic. Safe, comfortable. | DE-STRESS We’re home by 9 and have dinner: roast chicken, lasagna, or chickpea pasta. Sarah is an incredible cook. Sometimes to de-stress I’ll read a photography book. I’ve been buying a bunch online like Mel Rosenthal and Jamel Shabazz. We’ve been getting into card games like Uno, or we’ll watch old movies: “Gone in 60 Seconds,” “Broken Arrow,” the “Die Hards.” I grew up in the 1990s and these are nostalgic. Safe, comfortable. |