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Late Night Isn’t Impressed with Trump’s Cognitive Dissonance
Late Night Isn’t Impressed with Trump’s Cognitive Dissonance
(about 1 month later)
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
President Trump, in a Fox News interview on Wednesday, discussed the results of a recent cognitive assessment. The president gave the interviewer, Dr. Marc K. Siegel, an example of a question that tests patients’ memory. “It’s, like, you’ll go: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. So they say, ‘Could you repeat that?’ So it’s: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.’”
President Trump, in a Fox News interview on Wednesday, discussed the results of a recent cognitive assessment. The president gave the interviewer, Dr. Marc K. Siegel, an example of a question that tests patients’ memory. “It’s, like, you’ll go: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. So they say, ‘Could you repeat that?’ So it’s: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.’”
“It was impressive until they asked Trump what he ate for lunch that day and he said, ‘Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV,’” Jimmy Fallon joked on “The Tonight Show” Thursday.
“It was impressive until they asked Trump what he ate for lunch that day and he said, ‘Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV,’” Jimmy Fallon joked on “The Tonight Show” Thursday.
“What is he doing? He sounds like someone playing charades after pounding chardonnay.” — JIMMY FALLON
“It’s not an intelligence test. In fact, getting a perfect score merely signifies that the test taker probably does not have a cognitive impairment. I’m going to need something stronger than ‘probably’ for the person who has the nuclear codes. Wait, unless those are the nuclear codes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You know, I actually feel a lot better knowing that the president of the United States passed concussion protocol.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Donald Trump is the only person who can talk about a cognitive test but make me feel like I have brain damage.” — TREVOR NOAH
“He’s gone from bragging about his historic Electoral College win to boasting that he can solve the puzzle in a happy meal. In fact, I almost feel like obsessing over a dementia test you took two years ago is the real dementia test.” — TREVOR NOAH
“See, he’s been harping for weeks now about this cognitive test he took, and just to remind you, it’s not a hard test. It includes questions like ‘Name these animals.’ [Imitating Trump] ‘Well, that’s easy. I’ll call the first one Corey. The second one I will call Lance. And the last one — Corey Two.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Oh my God, he can name five objects in his field of vision. How does he do it? Send this man his Macarthur genius grant. Get MENSA on the phone — they’re going to want to see this. It’s like if the minds of Einstein, Hawking, Kasparov and Jobs were all rolled into one and then stuffed inside the body of an alcoholic walrus.” — SETH MEYERS
“So you see, acing this test, it doesn’t make him a genius; it makes him a guy desperate for accomplishment.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Seriously, dude, it’s not a test to see how smart you are — it’s a test to see if you’re OK. When the referee asks a boxer what city he’s in, it’s not a geography test.” — SETH MEYERS
“This is a test they give grandpas to see if they can keep living in their house because God forbid you miss a payment on your reverse mortgage.” — SETH MEYERS
“Today is a historic day for D.C. football fans because, after getting rid of the team’s previous name, Washington’s N.F.L. team will go by the name ‘The Washington Football Team’ until a new name can be chosen. So the Washington football team is now The Washington Football Team.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“That’s what they came up with? That name sounds like someone trying to talk about sports who knows nothing about sports. It’s like, ‘I love the Washington Football Team.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“I’m sorry, that is the laziest team name I have ever heard. I mean, they pre-named a professional football franchise the same way you save phone numbers of people you just met.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The Washington Football Team? Sounds like they can only afford the store brand version of team names. It’s like when my mom couldn’t buy us Cheerios so she brought Oat Circles.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The only silver lining is it’s going to be helpful to people who don’t follow the N.F.L. If someone asks you who you’re rooting for, you will be, like, ‘The football team.’ Sounds like you know what you’re talking about.” — TREVOR NOAH
Houston Texans receiver Kenny Stills spoke with Desus and Mero about his recent arrest after protesting the lack of action in Breonna Taylor’s killing, alongside 86 others at the home of the Kentucky attorney general.
Houston Texans receiver Kenny Stills spoke with Desus and Mero about his recent arrest after protesting the lack of action in Breonna Taylor’s killing, alongside 86 others at the home of the Kentucky attorney general.
“Almost Famous” fans will appreciate an oral history of the film’s infamous “golden god” scene.
“Almost Famous” fans will appreciate an oral history of the film’s infamous “golden god” scene.
