Being a Grandma During a Pandemic

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/28/opinion/letters/pandemic-families.html

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To the Editor:

I was having a heated discussion recently with my daughter about exposing myself to the “outside.” She and her siblings criticize me for, say, going to the supermarket or, worse, the hairdresser. She, in her 50s, feels that I, in my 80s, should be more restrictive.

My feeling is that I live in a comparatively safe area, am in good health — I even teach yoga, on the lawn — and take the necessary precautions, so I can allow myself more leeway. The isolation since I’ve become a widow, and with my family living very far away, is hard.

So now I have my grandson’s wedding next month to consider, a small, downsized wedding. Of course I don’t want to get sick, go to a hospital or die. But I’ve had four largely solitary months to think about this. Concluding our talk, I told my daughter, without realizing the irony, “Darling, I’m going, because there’s more to life than just living!”

Sondra MarkimPiermont, N.Y.

To the Editor:

Re “Our Life Was Languid. Then My Daughter’s Family Moved In” (column, July 18):

How I so agree with Timothy Egan’s essay about three generations living under one roof, as I’m living it. Two weeks after New York went into quarantine my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter from Manhattan moved in and are still here.

Our living room became a playroom and classroom as my granddaughter Zoomed her preschool program and ballet school. Cooking for five became the norm, and we celebrated my granddaughter’s third birthday and my son’s birthday by teaching her how to bake. Everyone pitches in on cleaning up and doing laundry, and throughout this pandemic we have learned to navigate and give each of us enough space to keep our sanity.

I will miss them when they go back to their apartment at the end of the summer, but I’ll miss more a little girl every morning calling out my name to take her out of bed. It has been the worst of times, but it has been the best of times as well.

Viviane KovacsSearingtown, N.Y.

To the Editor:

Re “Telling Children the Story of the Pandemic” (Science Times, July 21):

Dr. Perri Klass’s article rang true for me. As we began to face the Covid-19 lockdown, I realized how little my grandparents had told us about their experiences in the 1918 flu pandemic. I determined that my five grandchildren would have a tangible record of their experience that they could share with their children and grandchildren.

I set up a WhatsApp group with my children who live in Antalya, Turkey, and Larchmont, N.Y., so we could all share pictures and thoughts. I was impressed with the creativity and humor the parents were imparting to their children, ages 6 to 15. I began to create a photo journal of their activities, mixed with scenes of my own walks with my husband in Central Park, where the field hospital was a sobering addition. I dedicated the book to my children and their amazing spouses.

I am just finishing Volume I now, and I hope that Volume II will be a short one with a happy ending. The act of assembling the book has provided me with hours of joyful distraction to all the heartbreaking news.

Susan Todd JohnsonNew York