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Late Night Doesn’t Trust Trump With the Nation’s Mail
Late Night Doesn’t Trust Trump With the Nation’s Mail
(25 days later)
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Last Friday, the United States Postal Service — now run by a major Trump donor — announced a massive reorganization, months before an election in which many are expected to vote by mail. Over the weekend, President Trump kept up his attacks on the post office, criticizing it for losing money and railing against mail-in voting, which he claims will put the election results in doubt.
Last Friday, the United States Postal Service — now run by a major Trump donor — announced a massive reorganization, months before an election in which many are expected to vote by mail. Over the weekend, President Trump kept up his attacks on the post office, criticizing it for losing money and railing against mail-in voting, which he claims will put the election results in doubt.
“It’s only going to happen if you make it happen,” Seth Meyers said on Tuesday’s “Late Show.” “Trump’s like a loan shark telling you, ‘I’d hate to see your thumbs get broken.’”
“It’s only going to happen if you make it happen,” Seth Meyers said on Tuesday’s “Late Show.” “Trump’s like a loan shark telling you, ‘I’d hate to see your thumbs get broken.’”
“And right off the bat, you know it’s shady because they did it late on a Friday night. Nothing good ever happens late on a Friday night. Friday nights are for eating cereal at 2 a.m. and watching reruns of that cop show starring the guy who sells reverse mortgages.” — SETH MEYERS
“Also, it’s incredibly suspicious to have a right-wing businessman and megadonor in charge of a nonpartisan agency like the Postal Service. You think of postal workers as charming friends and neighbors straight out of Mayberry. This is like if your town ice cream man was replaced by Karl Rove. [imitating Karl Rove] ‘Here you go, kid, one bullet pop. That will be $6,000. They’re made by Raytheon.’” — SETH MEYERS
“The Postal Service turned a profit as recently as 2006. Second, you’re the last person on earth who should be complaining about someone else losing money. You lost a billion — one billion dollars — in the ’80s and ’90s, which was more than any single taxpayer in the country lost, and you also somehow managed to lose money on casinos, which I didn’t even think was possible.’” — SETH MEYERS
“With the presidential election right around the corner, the big question is no longer, ‘Will Donald Trump try to cheat?’ It’s now become, ‘How will Donald Trump try to cheat?’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Only Donald Trump is weird enough to have a beef with the mail. Every day, he’s less and less like a president and more like a neighbor in a sitcom.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I mean, this guy is spending $20 million to sue mail-in voting. Normally when Trump spends that much money suing you, it’s because you’ve seen him naked.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Joe Biden has officially picked Kamala Harris to be his running mate. Say what you want about Joe, but the man went Black and he’s not going back.” — TREVOR NOAH
“This is a historic announcement, because Harris is the first Black woman and the first person of Indian descent to be nominated for national office by a major party. So Trump’s going to have a hard time deciding exactly how to be racist about her. [as Trump] ‘I demand to see both of her birth certificates.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And I gotta say, I’m impressed that Biden picked Kamala, even after she destroyed him at that debate. In fact, part of me thinks he only picked her so that she can just never dust his [expletive] in public again.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I’m interested to see what the Trump campaign’s line of attack is going to be on Kamala, because they’re going to have a tough time — everything she’s done in her career appeals to Trump’s base. [imitating Trump] ‘Crafty Kamala spent her whole career locking up criminals and filling up California’s jails. She’s even friends with cops. Hold on. That actually sounds pretty cool. Mike, is it too late to change you?’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Kamala is the daughter of two immigrants, she went to Howard University, she’s a Democratic senator from California. That’s an inspiring story unless you’re Trump — then it’s a Stephen King novel.” — JIMMY FALLON
“She’s only had the job for a few hours, but Kamala’s already gearing up for debate with Mike Pence. That’s why she spent the whole day arguing with a mannequin at Kohl’s.” — JIMMY FALLON
Jimmy Fallon and The Roots played some new, pandemic-inspired summer songs in this week’s #Hashtags.
Jimmy Fallon and The Roots played some new, pandemic-inspired summer songs in this week’s #Hashtags.
The “Saturday Night Live” writer Sam Jay will talk about her new Netflix stand-up special on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”
The “Saturday Night Live” writer Sam Jay will talk about her new Netflix stand-up special on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”
Gloria Estefan shared her love of “Breaking Bad” and Jungian psychology in this week’s My Ten.
Gloria Estefan shared her love of “Breaking Bad” and Jungian psychology in this week’s My Ten.
