May I have a word about… when John Terry got too big for his boots
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Version 0 of 1. An annexe is one thing but, as the planning officer said, the former England footballer’s extension was too large by half I’m only too happy to admit that planning laws are something of a grey area for me. Take the following verdict, for example, in response to an application by the former Chelsea and England footballer John Terry to build a garage for his Ferraris and a poolside bar at his 18th-century, £4.35m house in Surrey. Rejecting the application, Chris Gent, the case officer, said: “The proposed replacement garage, by virtue of its size, height, bulk, mass, position and floor area, would be materially larger than the building it is to replace.” Reading between the lines, I’d say that what Mr Gent is driving at is that it’s too bloody big. Mr Gent isn’t alone in overstating his case. I particularly liked the White House spokesman who announced that Donald Trump had been “ambulating” in hospital. So he can ambulate and articulate at the same time. Less of your sneering, please, at the Donald’s Lazarus-like resurrection. What’s your word of the week? For some, I daresay it will be the wretched circuit breaker (yes, I know it’s two words), but I would argue strongly that it’s pasty, and the widely mocked claim by the housing secretary, Robert Jenrick, that one of these accompanied by chips amounts to a proper meal. Remember the trouble that George Osborne got into with his pasty tax? I would strongly advise politicians to avoid mentioning these decidedly unappetising items in future, else they will look even more gormless than normal. Perusing a recently rediscovered Gresham’s dictionary, published in 1925, I looked up libertarian, defined as “one who holds the doctrine of the freedom of the will”. Doesn’t sound such a bad thing, but I just wonder when it became adopted as a condemnatory term. •Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist |