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| Weston man scales Kilimanjaro in memory of baby son | Weston man scales Kilimanjaro in memory of baby son |
| (8 months later) | |
| Terry, left, said he was close to giving up on the day he reached the summit | Terry, left, said he was close to giving up on the day he reached the summit |
| Terry, left, said he was close to giving up on the day he reached the summit | |
| A man who scattered his baby's ashes at the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro said he wanted to "keep his name alive". | A man who scattered his baby's ashes at the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro said he wanted to "keep his name alive". |
| Terry Devine took on the 19,340ft (5,895m) peak in Tanzania in memory of Jacob, who died in 2017 at just five days old. | Terry Devine took on the 19,340ft (5,895m) peak in Tanzania in memory of Jacob, who died in 2017 at just five days old. |
| Mr Devine, a lecturer at the University of the West of England (UWE) in Bristol, said he was "physically broken" as he approached the summit. | Mr Devine, a lecturer at the University of the West of England (UWE) in Bristol, said he was "physically broken" as he approached the summit. |
| He reached it on the day he celebrated being 10 years clean of drug addiction. | He reached it on the day he celebrated being 10 years clean of drug addiction. |
| Mr Devine, 46, and his wife Karen were told two weeks before Jacob, their second child, was born that he was healthy and all was well. | Mr Devine, 46, and his wife Karen were told two weeks before Jacob, their second child, was born that he was healthy and all was well. |
| The couple, from Weston-super-Mare, had planned a home birth, having had their daughter surprisingly but safely at home, before things suddenly went wrong. | The couple, from Weston-super-Mare, had planned a home birth, having had their daughter surprisingly but safely at home, before things suddenly went wrong. |
| Jacob was treated in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) at St Michael's Hospital in Bristol | Jacob was treated in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) at St Michael's Hospital in Bristol |
| Jacob was treated in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) at St Michael's Hospital in Bristol | |
| "I could see the midwife's face and I knew something was wrong," he said. | "I could see the midwife's face and I knew something was wrong," he said. |
| "Then she said 'we've got a breach' and then absolute chaos broke out, as you might expect." | "Then she said 'we've got a breach' and then absolute chaos broke out, as you might expect." |
| Jacob was starved of oxygen at birth, but staff could still detect a heartbeat and he was rushed to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at St Michael's Hospital in Bristol, where he spent the next five days. | Jacob was starved of oxygen at birth, but staff could still detect a heartbeat and he was rushed to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at St Michael's Hospital in Bristol, where he spent the next five days. |
| But he could not be saved, and Mr and Mrs Devine had a final few moments with him before he died. | But he could not be saved, and Mr and Mrs Devine had a final few moments with him before he died. |
| "It just robs a part of your soul which you never get back," said Mr Devine. | "It just robs a part of your soul which you never get back," said Mr Devine. |
| Strength from addiction | Strength from addiction |
| Since suffering the bereavement, Mr Devine has taken on a charity challenge every year in Jacob's memory, to raise money for Cots for Tots, the dedicated charity for the NICU at St Michael's Hospital. | Since suffering the bereavement, Mr Devine has taken on a charity challenge every year in Jacob's memory, to raise money for Cots for Tots, the dedicated charity for the NICU at St Michael's Hospital. |
| Mr Devine and fellow fundraisers trained in Wales before finally standing at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro in September. | Mr Devine and fellow fundraisers trained in Wales before finally standing at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro in September. |
| "It takes your breath away," said Mr Devine, whose ascent and descent of the peak took six days. | "It takes your breath away," said Mr Devine, whose ascent and descent of the peak took six days. |
| The family had five days with Jacob before he died | The family had five days with Jacob before he died |
| The family had five days with Jacob before he died | |
| He said that earlier times in his life, when he "went off the rails" and became addicted to heroin, helped give him the mental strength to cope with the physical test. | He said that earlier times in his life, when he "went off the rails" and became addicted to heroin, helped give him the mental strength to cope with the physical test. |
| "I was a street-level heroin addict for 20 years - homeless, using needles, everything that goes with it. | "I was a street-level heroin addict for 20 years - homeless, using needles, everything that goes with it. |
| "I've spent the last 10 years sorting my life out, you could say in that time I've gone from addict to academic." | "I've spent the last 10 years sorting my life out, you could say in that time I've gone from addict to academic." |
| But when it came to summit night, Mr Devine said even he was tested to the limit. | But when it came to summit night, Mr Devine said even he was tested to the limit. |
| Mr Devine took on the challenge in aid of the Cots for Tots appeal | Mr Devine took on the challenge in aid of the Cots for Tots appeal |
| Mr Devine took on the challenge in aid of the Cots for Tots appeal | |
| The plan was for the group to get up at 23:00 BST and start walking, but Mr Devine did not manage to sleep ahead of taking on the rocky incline to the summit. | The plan was for the group to get up at 23:00 BST and start walking, but Mr Devine did not manage to sleep ahead of taking on the rocky incline to the summit. |
| "One of our team, called Mark, pulled out at that point, he was becoming delirious. | "One of our team, called Mark, pulled out at that point, he was becoming delirious. |
| "An hour or so later, I got to the verge of giving up myself. | "An hour or so later, I got to the verge of giving up myself. |
| "One of the other walkers, called Mel, turned to me and said 'Terry, it needs to be you at the top of the mountain that spreads your son's ashes'. | "One of the other walkers, called Mel, turned to me and said 'Terry, it needs to be you at the top of the mountain that spreads your son's ashes'. |
| "That really hit me, and at the same time the sun started coming up, it felt like the universe was saying 'I've got your back'. | "That really hit me, and at the same time the sun started coming up, it felt like the universe was saying 'I've got your back'. |
| "One of the porters asked me if I could commit to another 30 minutes, and I decided I would do that, then turn round and go back down, and people would appreciate I had done as much as I could." | "One of the porters asked me if I could commit to another 30 minutes, and I decided I would do that, then turn round and go back down, and people would appreciate I had done as much as I could." |
| That 30 minutes turned into another seven hours, but Mr Devine did make the summit, achieving his goal of climbing Kilimanjaro 10 years to the day when he first entered a drug recovery programme. | That 30 minutes turned into another seven hours, but Mr Devine did make the summit, achieving his goal of climbing Kilimanjaro 10 years to the day when he first entered a drug recovery programme. |
| "I sneaked off by myself. I had some of Jacob's ashes and I had a moment with God, with the mountain, with my son. I had a good cry, as you can imagine." | "I sneaked off by myself. I had some of Jacob's ashes and I had a moment with God, with the mountain, with my son. I had a good cry, as you can imagine." |
| 'The pain is always there' | 'The pain is always there' |
| Mr Devine said recovering from drug addiction, and the vulnerability that comes with talking about it, had helped him and his wife, but he said the pain of losing a child has never left them. | Mr Devine said recovering from drug addiction, and the vulnerability that comes with talking about it, had helped him and his wife, but he said the pain of losing a child has never left them. |
| "From that day [of Jacob's death] if anyone I'm close to dies, it gets into your soul, it awakens part of you, to do with loss," he said. | "From that day [of Jacob's death] if anyone I'm close to dies, it gets into your soul, it awakens part of you, to do with loss," he said. |
| "It's always there. | "It's always there. |
| Mr Devine said he had spent the past decade "sorting my life out" | Mr Devine said he had spent the past decade "sorting my life out" |
| Mr Devine said he had spent the past decade "sorting my life out" | |
| "People said to me, when we lost Jacob, that time is a great healer but personally I don't believe that," said Mr Devine. | "People said to me, when we lost Jacob, that time is a great healer but personally I don't believe that," said Mr Devine. |
| "I know other people who lost children, and to this day they're still broken by it. | "I know other people who lost children, and to this day they're still broken by it. |
| "I believe it's what you do with that time which will determine the healing." | "I believe it's what you do with that time which will determine the healing." |
| The pain of losing Jacob "is always there" said Mr Devine, but that recovering from drug addiction had helped talk about his feelings | The pain of losing Jacob "is always there" said Mr Devine, but that recovering from drug addiction had helped talk about his feelings |
| The pain of losing Jacob "is always there" said Mr Devine, but that recovering from drug addiction had helped talk about his feelings | |
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| Related Topics | Related Topics |
| Weston-super-Mare | Weston-super-Mare |
| Bristol | Bristol |
| University of the West of England | University of the West of England |