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| Cancer: Mum writes book to help child cope with her diagnosis | Cancer: Mum writes book to help child cope with her diagnosis |
| (32 minutes later) | |
| Hollie McFarlane (R) describes her bond with her daughter Sydney as a "bubble of energy" | Hollie McFarlane (R) describes her bond with her daughter Sydney as a "bubble of energy" |
| How am I going to tell my child? That was the first thing that crossed Hollie McFarlane's mind when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. | How am I going to tell my child? That was the first thing that crossed Hollie McFarlane's mind when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. |
| She and her daughter Sydney, four, are very close and spent a lot of time together while Hollie's husband worked away during the week. | She and her daughter Sydney, four, are very close and spent a lot of time together while Hollie's husband worked away during the week. |
| Their weekly routine included the library, pizza night, swimming, McDonald's and the zoo. | Their weekly routine included the library, pizza night, swimming, McDonald's and the zoo. |
| But eight months ago their lives "changed overnight". | But eight months ago their lives "changed overnight". |
| The 43-year-old from Pwllheli found a lump in her breast last October after putting Sydney back to bed after a nightmare. | The 43-year-old from Pwllheli found a lump in her breast last October after putting Sydney back to bed after a nightmare. |
| "Everyone was saying to me 'you've got absolutely nothing to worry about, you've lost weight and your body is just changing'," Hollie said, but she booked a check-up anyway. | "Everyone was saying to me 'you've got absolutely nothing to worry about, you've lost weight and your body is just changing'," Hollie said, but she booked a check-up anyway. |
| "The day came and I was absolutely convinced that it was nothing to worry about." | "The day came and I was absolutely convinced that it was nothing to worry about." |
| But the English and Drama teacher was "absolutely floored" after seeing the look on her doctor and nurse's faces. | But the English and Drama teacher was "absolutely floored" after seeing the look on her doctor and nurse's faces. |
| If Hollie didn't seek help when she did, her doctor says she wouldn't be here today | If Hollie didn't seek help when she did, her doctor says she wouldn't be here today |
| Her husband, Mike, quit his job and didn't leave the pair's side for the next five months. | Her husband, Mike, quit his job and didn't leave the pair's side for the next five months. |
| Breast cancer is the most common type of cancer in the UK and one in seven women are diagnosed during their lifetime, according to the NHS. | Breast cancer is the most common type of cancer in the UK and one in seven women are diagnosed during their lifetime, according to the NHS. |
| 'How am I going to tell her?' | 'How am I going to tell her?' |
| "I tried my best to hide it from [Sydney] but she's not stupid," Hollie said. | "I tried my best to hide it from [Sydney] but she's not stupid," Hollie said. |
| "To go from me and her in our little bubble of energy, and then all of a sudden her dad's home, her dad's taking her to school. She knew something was going on." | "To go from me and her in our little bubble of energy, and then all of a sudden her dad's home, her dad's taking her to school. She knew something was going on." |
| What losing my wife taught me about life and loss | What losing my wife taught me about life and loss |
| Don't judge me, says girl, 12, with Tourette's | Don't judge me, says girl, 12, with Tourette's |
| How a teen author became a Netflix star | How a teen author became a Netflix star |
| Hollie decided to take bits from MacMillan's book Mummy's Lump to try to help Sydney understand what she was going through. | Hollie decided to take bits from MacMillan's book Mummy's Lump to try to help Sydney understand what she was going through. |
| The book, which is aimed at children aged 10 and under, includes a depiction of a mum looking in the mirror at her hair which has fallen out. | The book, which is aimed at children aged 10 and under, includes a depiction of a mum looking in the mirror at her hair which has fallen out. |
| "Sydney looked at the page, looked at me, and just burst into tears at the realisation that this is my mummy," she said. | "Sydney looked at the page, looked at me, and just burst into tears at the realisation that this is my mummy," she said. |
| "I told her 'Mummy's going to be fine'." | "I told her 'Mummy's going to be fine'." |
| Hollie soon went from running 62 miles (100km) each month to barely being able to walk down the stairs. | Hollie soon went from running 62 miles (100km) each month to barely being able to walk down the stairs. |
| "Sydney would get very frustrated with me because she's never seen me in bed like that," Hollie said. | "Sydney would get very frustrated with me because she's never seen me in bed like that," Hollie said. |
| "She'd say 'come on' and pull the covers and try to drag me up to go on the trampoline. | "She'd say 'come on' and pull the covers and try to drag me up to go on the trampoline. |
| "She missed out on so many things because I was poorly, it made me feel awful… guilty." | "She missed out on so many things because I was poorly, it made me feel awful… guilty." |
| These moments contributed to Sydney "really struggling". Hollie said there was limited help for a child of Sydney's age to deal with the realities of the diagnosis, and so decided to take matters into her own hands. | These moments contributed to Sydney "really struggling". Hollie said there was limited help for a child of Sydney's age to deal with the realities of the diagnosis, and so decided to take matters into her own hands. |
| Years ago, Hollie started writing a book about a girl who had breast cancer, but she never thought that she would find herself as that girl years later. | Years ago, Hollie started writing a book about a girl who had breast cancer, but she never thought that she would find herself as that girl years later. |
| Writing a new one to help Sydney consumed her mind. | Writing a new one to help Sydney consumed her mind. |
| Hollie vlogs her cancer journey on social media | Hollie vlogs her cancer journey on social media |
| 'The last bit of the jigsaw' | 'The last bit of the jigsaw' |
| The book Sometimes, Mummy feels... was written from Sydney's perspective to help Hollie try to process what her daughter might be feeling. | The book Sometimes, Mummy feels... was written from Sydney's perspective to help Hollie try to process what her daughter might be feeling. |
| "Whatever I'm feeling, I'll go to that page and show it to her - I still have to go through radiotherapy," she said. | "Whatever I'm feeling, I'll go to that page and show it to her - I still have to go through radiotherapy," she said. |
| Some may question when, how - and if - you should tell a child about your diagnosis. Charities including Cancer Research UK and MacMillan have a range of resources available to help. | Some may question when, how - and if - you should tell a child about your diagnosis. Charities including Cancer Research UK and MacMillan have a range of resources available to help. |
| For Hollie, she felt Sydney "needed to know something but didn't need to know the details". | For Hollie, she felt Sydney "needed to know something but didn't need to know the details". |
| She kept any cancer terminology out of the book and focused on the pair's special moments together. Sydney's favourite page depicts a moment the duo went to Chester Zoo following Hollie's last round of chemotherapy. | She kept any cancer terminology out of the book and focused on the pair's special moments together. Sydney's favourite page depicts a moment the duo went to Chester Zoo following Hollie's last round of chemotherapy. |
| Her book Sometimes, Mummy feels... is available in English and Welsh for children aged eight and below | Her book Sometimes, Mummy feels... is available in English and Welsh for children aged eight and below |
| "I think she knows the story is about me and her. | "I think she knows the story is about me and her. |
| "It's hard to explain to a four-year-old but I think she understands based on our experiences." | "It's hard to explain to a four-year-old but I think she understands based on our experiences." |
| How a teen author became a Netflix star | How a teen author became a Netflix star |
| At first, 10 copies were made for the family, but once Hollie posted the book to social media it was met with a hugely positive reaction from places as far as Australia and Denmark. | At first, 10 copies were made for the family, but once Hollie posted the book to social media it was met with a hugely positive reaction from places as far as Australia and Denmark. |
| "If I'm able to help one more family... then I feel like something really positive has come out of a really negative situation." | "If I'm able to help one more family... then I feel like something really positive has come out of a really negative situation." |
| The page where it all clicked for Sydney | The page where it all clicked for Sydney |
| 'Live each day' | 'Live each day' |
| To her relief, Hollie was given the all clear on 10 May this year. But her cancer journey is not over, as she is set to undergo preventative treatment and radiotherapy. | To her relief, Hollie was given the all clear on 10 May this year. But her cancer journey is not over, as she is set to undergo preventative treatment and radiotherapy. |
| "The lesson I've learnt from this is that I have to live each day," she said. | "The lesson I've learnt from this is that I have to live each day," she said. |
| "Be happy and don't stress, it's just living in that moment and appreciating everything you've got around you." | "Be happy and don't stress, it's just living in that moment and appreciating everything you've got around you." |
| And for Sydney? | And for Sydney? |
| "I will tell her everything once she's old enough," Hollie said. | "I will tell her everything once she's old enough," Hollie said. |
| "But for now, she's come to this realisation that this book explains everything that's happened to us as a family, and knows now that everything is going to be alright." | "But for now, she's come to this realisation that this book explains everything that's happened to us as a family, and knows now that everything is going to be alright." |
| If you have been affected by issues raised in this story you can find details of where you can get support at BBC Action Line. | If you have been affected by issues raised in this story you can find details of where you can get support at BBC Action Line. |
| Related Topics | Related Topics |
| Wales | Wales |
| Wrexham | Wrexham |
| Breast cancer | Breast cancer |
| Books | Books |
| Cancer | Cancer |