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Sandra Day O’Connor Told a Truth About Marriage That Few Others Dared To Sandra Day O’Connor Told a Truth About Marriage That Few Others Dared To
(2 days later)
In the wake of Sandra Day O’Connor’s passing, I saw a photo of her with my father, Ronald Reagan, after he had nominated her to be the first woman on the Supreme Court. They were outside on the grounds of the White House, walking side by side, smiling, obviously in the midst of a conversation. These were two people who were athletic, strong, driven to make a difference in the world.In the wake of Sandra Day O’Connor’s passing, I saw a photo of her with my father, Ronald Reagan, after he had nominated her to be the first woman on the Supreme Court. They were outside on the grounds of the White House, walking side by side, smiling, obviously in the midst of a conversation. These were two people who were athletic, strong, driven to make a difference in the world.
I find it poignant to see them in that form, knowing, as we now do, that both would later be eroded by dementia. Both would make the rare choice to go public with the news of their diagnosis. And both would die from complications of the disease, which always wins in the end.I find it poignant to see them in that form, knowing, as we now do, that both would later be eroded by dementia. Both would make the rare choice to go public with the news of their diagnosis. And both would die from complications of the disease, which always wins in the end.
But before any of that, the disease would come for Sandra Day O’Connor’s husband, John Jay O’Connor III.But before any of that, the disease would come for Sandra Day O’Connor’s husband, John Jay O’Connor III.
The justice will long be remembered for breaking the gender barrier on the Supreme Court, a brave public victory that reverberated across the American judiciary, across the legal profession she had to fight so hard to join, across the nation’s workplaces. She also deserves credit, however, for having broken a second boundary: She spoke with rare candor about how Alzheimer’s disease plays out — with its heavy responsibility and complex ethical issues — within the private confines of a marriage.The justice will long be remembered for breaking the gender barrier on the Supreme Court, a brave public victory that reverberated across the American judiciary, across the legal profession she had to fight so hard to join, across the nation’s workplaces. She also deserves credit, however, for having broken a second boundary: She spoke with rare candor about how Alzheimer’s disease plays out — with its heavy responsibility and complex ethical issues — within the private confines of a marriage.
Sandra Day and John O’Connor met in the early 1950s when both were students at Stanford Law School. An appointment to work on a Law Review article together extended into a couple of beers, and soon they’d gone on 40 dates in 40 days. John was charming and impressed by her intellect. By the time he asked her to marry him, she had reportedly turned down three other proposals (including one from William Rehnquist: “To be specific, Sandy, will you marry me this summer?”). She accepted John’s, and they were wed in 1952.
She followed him to Germany when he served in the Army; when they returned, they made their home in Arizona, where they raised three sons until her 1981 appointment required a move to Washington, D.C. “The first 25 years,” she would later say, “he made the decisions — where we would live, what job he would take, what he would do, what our life was going to be. And after I went on the court, I’m afraid I was making many of those decisions … It balanced out.”