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| Grace Millane's mother wants to 'make the world a better place' | Grace Millane's mother wants to 'make the world a better place' |
| (25 days later) | |
| Grace was backpacking in New Zealand when she was murdered in December 2018 | Grace was backpacking in New Zealand when she was murdered in December 2018 |
| Grace Millane had dreamed of travelling the world since she was a little girl. | Grace Millane had dreamed of travelling the world since she was a little girl. |
| "I found a school project she did about New Zealand and it said 'I'm going there one day'. And she did get there," her mother Gillian says, proudly. | "I found a school project she did about New Zealand and it said 'I'm going there one day'. And she did get there," her mother Gillian says, proudly. |
| Growing up in Wickford in Essex, Grace was a livewire who made friends wherever she went. | Growing up in Wickford in Essex, Grace was a livewire who made friends wherever she went. |
| "She was my best friend, we would always disappear to the pub for a quick drink and we would go away on holiday together," Gillian says. | "She was my best friend, we would always disappear to the pub for a quick drink and we would go away on holiday together," Gillian says. |
| Gillian (right) says her daughter Grace (left), who loved to travel, was her best friend | Gillian (right) says her daughter Grace (left), who loved to travel, was her best friend |
| Five years ago, after graduating from the University of Lincoln, Grace set out on a year-long solo backpacking adventure across the world. | Five years ago, after graduating from the University of Lincoln, Grace set out on a year-long solo backpacking adventure across the world. |
| After a six-week tour of Peru, she arrived in New Zealand. Less than a fortnight later, on the eve of her 22nd birthday, she was strangled to death by a man she met on a dating app. | After a six-week tour of Peru, she arrived in New Zealand. Less than a fortnight later, on the eve of her 22nd birthday, she was strangled to death by a man she met on a dating app. |
| Grace was constantly in touch with her family but had not responded to their birthday messages on 2 December, so they reported her missing to the police. | Grace was constantly in touch with her family but had not responded to their birthday messages on 2 December, so they reported her missing to the police. |
| Gillian was recovering from surgery for breast cancer and not able to join the search. Her husband, Grace's father David, flew out to New Zealand but a week later, their daughter's body was found in bushland on the outskirts of Auckland. | Gillian was recovering from surgery for breast cancer and not able to join the search. Her husband, Grace's father David, flew out to New Zealand but a week later, their daughter's body was found in bushland on the outskirts of Auckland. |
| During a three-week trial, the family had to sit through her killer's attempts to pass the murder off as "rough sex" gone wrong and his claims that Grace asked to be strangled. | During a three-week trial, the family had to sit through her killer's attempts to pass the murder off as "rough sex" gone wrong and his claims that Grace asked to be strangled. |
| "I felt like Grace was on trial and she couldn't defend herself. As a parent, I didn't want to listen to that. It was horrendous. | "I felt like Grace was on trial and she couldn't defend herself. As a parent, I didn't want to listen to that. It was horrendous. |
| "You can't ask for your own death. It is ludicrous this can be used as a defence." | "You can't ask for your own death. It is ludicrous this can be used as a defence." |
| A jury unanimously convicted him of murder and he was sentenced to life in prison. | A jury unanimously convicted him of murder and he was sentenced to life in prison. |
| The family decided never to mention his name again. "We never say it. It's a waste of energy. I don't care about him, I don't think about him," Gillian says. | The family decided never to mention his name again. "We never say it. It's a waste of energy. I don't care about him, I don't think about him," Gillian says. |
| Gillian has since campaigned against the rough sex defence, with the charity We Can't Consent To This, and has helped to change the law in England and Wales. | Gillian has since campaigned against the rough sex defence, with the charity We Can't Consent To This, and has helped to change the law in England and Wales. |
| Two years after Grace's murder, Gillian's husband David died from cancer, which left her in a "really dark place". | Two years after Grace's murder, Gillian's husband David died from cancer, which left her in a "really dark place". |
| Grace was incredibly close to her parents and her two brothers | Grace was incredibly close to her parents and her two brothers |
| Gillian credits her family and friends, long walks and "lots of counselling" for her still being here today. | Gillian credits her family and friends, long walks and "lots of counselling" for her still being here today. |
| "I did contemplate suicide. That is a horrid place to be. But I couldn't bring any more sadness to the family. Grace had such a bright future and it was taken away from her and us. | "I did contemplate suicide. That is a horrid place to be. But I couldn't bring any more sadness to the family. Grace had such a bright future and it was taken away from her and us. |
| "I will never see Grace in a wedding dress or see her grandchildren. This is a life sentence I've got. This is me until the day I die. But there is a light and I found it. You have to find that inner strength." | "I will never see Grace in a wedding dress or see her grandchildren. This is a life sentence I've got. This is me until the day I die. But there is a light and I found it. You have to find that inner strength." |
| Gillian experienced suicidal thoughts after losing her husband and daughter but managed to find some light in the darkness | Gillian experienced suicidal thoughts after losing her husband and daughter but managed to find some light in the darkness |
| David died during Covid and they could not be together as a family but Gillian later threw a memorial party and it became a turning point. | David died during Covid and they could not be together as a family but Gillian later threw a memorial party and it became a turning point. |
| "A friend dragged me up to dance. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but I laughed and I looked around the room and everyone was smiling. | "A friend dragged me up to dance. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but I laughed and I looked around the room and everyone was smiling. |
| "My toes stay in the darkness but the rest of me is facing the sun a bit. Sometimes it goes up to my waist and I do go into that black hole but I have people behind me who support me." | "My toes stay in the darkness but the rest of me is facing the sun a bit. Sometimes it goes up to my waist and I do go into that black hole but I have people behind me who support me." |
| Christmas is a very difficult time for Gillian, so last year she decided to spend it climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, which was "incredibly emotional". | Christmas is a very difficult time for Gillian, so last year she decided to spend it climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, which was "incredibly emotional". |
| Gillian raised more than £30,000 climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in memory of her daughter and husband | Gillian raised more than £30,000 climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in memory of her daughter and husband |
| "I went from not wanting to leave the house to climbing a mountain on the other side of the world. | "I went from not wanting to leave the house to climbing a mountain on the other side of the world. |
| "I had to train and be focused. I didn't realise the power it was giving me and how much it was helping me. | "I had to train and be focused. I didn't realise the power it was giving me and how much it was helping me. |
| "Everything was aching but I knew Grace and David would be pushing me up there. They wanted to still be here, they didn't want to go, so I thought 'right get up there'." | "Everything was aching but I knew Grace and David would be pushing me up there. They wanted to still be here, they didn't want to go, so I thought 'right get up there'." |
| Gillian left a stone for Grace and David at the top, in tribute to them. | Gillian left a stone for Grace and David at the top, in tribute to them. |
| "Whenever I go somewhere special, I put the stones there, so they are travelling. If someone picks a stone up and moves it, they go somewhere else." | "Whenever I go somewhere special, I put the stones there, so they are travelling. If someone picks a stone up and moves it, they go somewhere else." |
| Grace left a stone for both her daughter and husband on Mount Kilimanjaro | Grace left a stone for both her daughter and husband on Mount Kilimanjaro |
| Her efforts raised £33,000 for the White Ribbon charity, which aims to end male violence against women. Gillian received a thank you card from the charity, saying the money had been used to fund education programmes in 65 schools in the Hull area. | Her efforts raised £33,000 for the White Ribbon charity, which aims to end male violence against women. Gillian received a thank you card from the charity, saying the money had been used to fund education programmes in 65 schools in the Hull area. |
| "I just want to raise awareness and get that message out there about violence against women so that no other family has to live this life I live," Gillian says. | "I just want to raise awareness and get that message out there about violence against women so that no other family has to live this life I live," Gillian says. |
| Four years ago, with her niece Hannah, Gillian started the charity initiative Love Grace, external. They collect donated handbags and fill them with toiletries for domestic abuse victims. | Four years ago, with her niece Hannah, Gillian started the charity initiative Love Grace, external. They collect donated handbags and fill them with toiletries for domestic abuse victims. |
| So far, they have filled 15,600 bags for women in the UK and across the world and they received an award from the prime minister. | So far, they have filled 15,600 bags for women in the UK and across the world and they received an award from the prime minister. |
| Grace's cousin, Hannah O'Callaghan (left), and Gillian were invited to 10 Downing Street to celebrate the award | Grace's cousin, Hannah O'Callaghan (left), and Gillian were invited to 10 Downing Street to celebrate the award |
| Grace loved handbags, Gillian says, and each bag has a tag on it with her handwriting. | Grace loved handbags, Gillian says, and each bag has a tag on it with her handwriting. |
| "It's a simple idea but it has really taken off," Gillian says. "We were just doing it for our grief so that Grace would never just be a number. | "It's a simple idea but it has really taken off," Gillian says. "We were just doing it for our grief so that Grace would never just be a number. |
| "They get this bag, they are not expecting it and they have gone through hell. We get hundreds of letters from people who have received the bags, it's heartbreaking." | "They get this bag, they are not expecting it and they have gone through hell. We get hundreds of letters from people who have received the bags, it's heartbreaking." |
| The bags are delivered with a tag which features Grace's handwriting and a flower that she drew | The bags are delivered with a tag which features Grace's handwriting and a flower that she drew |
| The other side of the tag has a note explaining what happened to Grace and more about the initiative | The other side of the tag has a note explaining what happened to Grace and more about the initiative |
| Next year, Gillian is applying for Love Grace to become an official charity and she will be training for a trek to Everest basecamp in September, with a plan to place two more stones there. | Next year, Gillian is applying for Love Grace to become an official charity and she will be training for a trek to Everest basecamp in September, with a plan to place two more stones there. |
| One day she hopes to travel to New Zealand, a country which Gillian says has really taken Grace to their hearts. | One day she hopes to travel to New Zealand, a country which Gillian says has really taken Grace to their hearts. |
| "I still get loads of messages of support from there. It wasn't New Zealand or travelling that killed Grace, or anything she did. It was that individual." | "I still get loads of messages of support from there. It wasn't New Zealand or travelling that killed Grace, or anything she did. It was that individual." |
| Five years on from her daughter's death, living without Grace has not got any easier. But Gillian is still trying hard to face the sun. | Five years on from her daughter's death, living without Grace has not got any easier. But Gillian is still trying hard to face the sun. |
| "I should never have buried my child and certainly she should never have died the way she did. People keep saying I'm really strong but I don't think so, I'm just a mum." | "I should never have buried my child and certainly she should never have died the way she did. People keep saying I'm really strong but I don't think so, I'm just a mum." |
| Gillian hopes her daughter Grace would be proud of how she has coped since her death | Gillian hopes her daughter Grace would be proud of how she has coped since her death |
| She adds: "I am more resilient than I ever thought I was. I do think David and Grace would be proud. I think Grace would laugh and say these treks are a mid-life crisis. | She adds: "I am more resilient than I ever thought I was. I do think David and Grace would be proud. I think Grace would laugh and say these treks are a mid-life crisis. |
| "I will never get over it but I just know I've got to make the world a better place. I want to change things so that no other family has to go through what we go through. That has got to be a good thing." | "I will never get over it but I just know I've got to make the world a better place. I want to change things so that no other family has to go through what we go through. That has got to be a good thing." |
| If you, or someone you know, is feeling emotionally distressed, BBC Action Line has put together a list of organisations which can help. | If you, or someone you know, is feeling emotionally distressed, BBC Action Line has put together a list of organisations which can help. |
| Follow East of England news on Facebook, external, Instagram, external and X, external. Got a story? Email eastofenglandnews@bbc.co.uk, external or WhatsApp 0800 169 1830 | Follow East of England news on Facebook, external, Instagram, external and X, external. Got a story? Email eastofenglandnews@bbc.co.uk, external or WhatsApp 0800 169 1830 |