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Dorset parent and child foster service 'made me better mum' | Dorset parent and child foster service 'made me better mum' |
(about 2 hours later) | |
Lydia says she could not have been a mum to Casper without the support of Fru and her family | Lydia says she could not have been a mum to Casper without the support of Fru and her family |
It has been three years since new mum Lydia went into a mental healthcare unit with her 12-week-old son. | It has been three years since new mum Lydia went into a mental healthcare unit with her 12-week-old son. |
She says she had reached breaking point and "was in a really tough place" after being diagnosed with post-natal depression. | She says she had reached breaking point and "was in a really tough place" after being diagnosed with post-natal depression. |
But with the support of a parent and child foster scheme, the 23-year-old says she was able to keep her son, Casper, and "become a better mum". | But with the support of a parent and child foster scheme, the 23-year-old says she was able to keep her son, Casper, and "become a better mum". |
Fru Bird, from Ferndown, is the only foster carer offering this type of support in Dorset, which she says is all about being "authentic and compassionate". | Fru Bird, from Ferndown, is the only foster carer offering this type of support in Dorset, which she says is all about being "authentic and compassionate". |
'Fighting for their child' | 'Fighting for their child' |
The 53-year-old is an approved foster carer through Dorset Council and has been opening up her family home to help parents and their children for the past five years. | The 53-year-old is an approved foster carer through Dorset Council and has been opening up her family home to help parents and their children for the past five years. |
Her work involves giving people a safe place to bond with their child and develop their parenting skills, while Fru observes to help with court assessments. | Her work involves giving people a safe place to bond with their child and develop their parenting skills, while Fru observes to help with court assessments. |
"It's about helping the parent understand 'fighting for their child' often means managing the mundane tasks of parenting," Fru explains. | "It's about helping the parent understand 'fighting for their child' often means managing the mundane tasks of parenting," Fru explains. |
"No-one comes into this having had an easy life - the reason why it's needed is there are difficulties, typically mental health is an issue, domestic violence, drugs and alcohol. | "No-one comes into this having had an easy life - the reason why it's needed is there are difficulties, typically mental health is an issue, domestic violence, drugs and alcohol. |
"Those three things generally come together in some kind of combination and, if you've been through some awful experiences, trust is really hard." | "Those three things generally come together in some kind of combination and, if you've been through some awful experiences, trust is really hard." |
Fru has been supporting parents with their children in Dorset for the last five years | Fru has been supporting parents with their children in Dorset for the last five years |
Lydia says her upbringing was "really tough at times". | Lydia says her upbringing was "really tough at times". |
"I love my family and they did the best they could but I fell into really dark relationships during my teenage years, so my life got really off track," she explains. | "I love my family and they did the best they could but I fell into really dark relationships during my teenage years, so my life got really off track," she explains. |
Lydia worked as a full-time carer and says she gave everything to the job and "the other bit of me I gave into my relationships, so I wasn't anyone really". | Lydia worked as a full-time carer and says she gave everything to the job and "the other bit of me I gave into my relationships, so I wasn't anyone really". |
Feeling a loss of identity after having Casper, Lydia says she became unwell. | Feeling a loss of identity after having Casper, Lydia says she became unwell. |
"When you have a baby, it really sucks, but you do lose some of your personality - your identity becomes the child because you put everything into them." | "When you have a baby, it really sucks, but you do lose some of your personality - your identity becomes the child because you put everything into them." |
'Fru is Casper's godmum' | 'Fru is Casper's godmum' |
During her three-month stay at the mental health unit, Lydia was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder and was recommended to stay with Fru and her family. | During her three-month stay at the mental health unit, Lydia was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder and was recommended to stay with Fru and her family. |
She says: "The concept of giving pretty much full rein to another family and not knowing what you're walking into, it's hard. | |
"Now we come every Sunday for lunch, which is really lovely and we get to spend time with the whole family, because they are my family now - we've been basically adopted without the official things and Fru is also Casper's godmum." | "Now we come every Sunday for lunch, which is really lovely and we get to spend time with the whole family, because they are my family now - we've been basically adopted without the official things and Fru is also Casper's godmum." |
Lydia says Fru and her family are also her family now and they see each other every Sunday | Lydia says Fru and her family are also her family now and they see each other every Sunday |
Dorset Council hopes to have at least five parent and child foster carers in the region. | Dorset Council hopes to have at least five parent and child foster carers in the region. |
Fru says that to offer this support you "just have to have a spare room and a heart". | Fru says that to offer this support you "just have to have a spare room and a heart". |
"The most important thing it you're authentic, you're quite open about the way you live," she adds. | "The most important thing it you're authentic, you're quite open about the way you live," she adds. |
"I think it's really important you don't over-promise to someone who has difficulties trusting, otherwise you let them down and then you're just in the same category as everyone else who ever let them down." | "I think it's really important you don't over-promise to someone who has difficulties trusting, otherwise you let them down and then you're just in the same category as everyone else who ever let them down." |
You can follow BBC Dorset on Facebook, X (Twitter), or Instagram. | You can follow BBC Dorset on Facebook, X (Twitter), or Instagram. |
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