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| Commons Confidential: February 2007 | Commons Confidential: February 2007 |
| (1 day later) | |
| POLITICAL DIARY By Nick Assinder Political correspondent, BBC News website Despatches from the House of Commons 1130 GMT, TUESDAY 20 FEBRUARY | |
| Thanks to the Bee Gees' famous walkout from his chat show, whenever many people think of Clive Anderson they think "tossers" (he used the phrase jokily but they did not appreciate it). | |
| MPs snatched back the pancake race title | |
| So he was the natural choice to referee the annual charity pancake race between teams of pancake tossers drawn from the Commons, Lords and media this shrove Tuesday. | |
| And he had his work cut out as the competitors - led by MP Lindsay Hoyle, Lord Morris and the BBC's very own Nick Robinson - ignored just about every one of the complex rules of engagement. | |
| They may not have resorted to flinging the ingredients at each other or using their frying pans as weapons - both things specifically banned under the rules. Spoilsports. | |
| But when it came to tossing three times around the relay race course, returning to the start if they dropped their pancakes or not holding their pancakes in place, forget it. | |
| But then, this was a grudge match with the politicians determined to snatch back the trophy seized in a sensational upset by the media team in last year's hotly contested match. | |
| And, despite all the pleas for gentlemanly and gentlewomanly (shouldn't that be gentlepersonly) behaviour, there was plenty of needle. | |
| The MPs' barbs at the journalists, were met by the hacks claiming the MPs had only won the title through underhand means. The peers, needless to say, attempted to rise above it all. | |
| Clive Anderson presented the trophy | |
| "It's not fair," complained one journalist from a well-known broadcasting organisation. "They had a frying pan each when we only had one between us. So their handovers were much quicker." | |
| There were demands for public inquiries, dope tests and cash-for-frying pans allegations. All involved denied wrong-doing. | |
| This annual event has now become one of the "sporting" highlights of Westminster life and is to support the charity Rehab UK in its work for people with brain injury. | |
| 1015 GMT, MONDAY 19 FEBRUARY | |
| I'm not sure who should be most worried about this revelation, David Cameron or Rory Bremner. | I'm not sure who should be most worried about this revelation, David Cameron or Rory Bremner. |
| Mr Redwood has a talent as a mimicBut, it appears, John Redwood is attempting to perfect his impression of the Tory leader in order to entertain dinner guests and colleagues. | Mr Redwood has a talent as a mimicBut, it appears, John Redwood is attempting to perfect his impression of the Tory leader in order to entertain dinner guests and colleagues. |
| One of the Conservative MPs' talents is as a mimic and he used to delight friends with his impression of former leader Michael Howard. | One of the Conservative MPs' talents is as a mimic and he used to delight friends with his impression of former leader Michael Howard. |
| However he has revealed in a question and answer session for the Independent newspaper that he is having trouble with Mr Cameron's voice - something Mr Bremner has also confessed in the past. | However he has revealed in a question and answer session for the Independent newspaper that he is having trouble with Mr Cameron's voice - something Mr Bremner has also confessed in the past. |
| David Cameron's lookalike from Star Trek"I haven't yet worked out how to mimic David Cameron. There are other easier voices to do in the current political firmament," he admitted. | David Cameron's lookalike from Star Trek"I haven't yet worked out how to mimic David Cameron. There are other easier voices to do in the current political firmament," he admitted. |
| It has been suggested before that the best way to get into Mr Cameron's character is to first think of his doppelganger - Data the android from Star Trek, the Next Generation. | It has been suggested before that the best way to get into Mr Cameron's character is to first think of his doppelganger - Data the android from Star Trek, the Next Generation. |
| And who better than the man dubbed "The Vulcan" after the original Star Trek's Mr Spock? | And who better than the man dubbed "The Vulcan" after the original Star Trek's Mr Spock? |
| 1230 GMT, THURSDAY 8 FEBRUARY | 1230 GMT, THURSDAY 8 FEBRUARY |
| We've had leaves on the line and the wrong sort of snow - now we can add cold water to the list of weather-related issues that affect services. | We've had leaves on the line and the wrong sort of snow - now we can add cold water to the list of weather-related issues that affect services. |
| The weather hit Commons coffee machinesMPs queuing for a cappuccino in the coffee bar at Parliament's Portcullis House were told the machine was working very slowly so their beverages might take a little longer than usual. | The weather hit Commons coffee machinesMPs queuing for a cappuccino in the coffee bar at Parliament's Portcullis House were told the machine was working very slowly so their beverages might take a little longer than usual. |
| One asked why this was the case and was told: "It's the weather. The water is coming through slowly because it's too cold". | One asked why this was the case and was told: "It's the weather. The water is coming through slowly because it's too cold". |
| Bemused coffee-drinkers remain unsure whether this was a genuine excuse or they were having their legs' pulled. | Bemused coffee-drinkers remain unsure whether this was a genuine excuse or they were having their legs' pulled. |
| 1215 GMT, THURSDAY 8 FEBRUARY | 1215 GMT, THURSDAY 8 FEBRUARY |
| Leicester's Labour MP Keith Vaz may have enjoyed his moments basking in the radiance of his Bollywood guest, Shilpa Shetty yesterday. | Leicester's Labour MP Keith Vaz may have enjoyed his moments basking in the radiance of his Bollywood guest, Shilpa Shetty yesterday. |
| But, as is so often the case, there may be unforeseen and unpleasant consequences. | But, as is so often the case, there may be unforeseen and unpleasant consequences. |
| Mr Vaz found himself on the wrong end of the Commons' authorities ire when he attempted to take Ms Shetty and a huge entourage of media onto the terrace and then, later, a committee room for a press conference. | Mr Vaz found himself on the wrong end of the Commons' authorities ire when he attempted to take Ms Shetty and a huge entourage of media onto the terrace and then, later, a committee room for a press conference. |
| At one point Mr Vaz was told off by deputy serjeant at arms, Muir Morton, who accused the MP of "abusing his position" and said Parliament was not to be used for publicity purposes. | At one point Mr Vaz was told off by deputy serjeant at arms, Muir Morton, who accused the MP of "abusing his position" and said Parliament was not to be used for publicity purposes. |
| I now hear, however, that the authorities may not allow the matter to stay there. Further action is being contemplated. | I now hear, however, that the authorities may not allow the matter to stay there. Further action is being contemplated. |
| Can I suggest a spell in the Big Brother house. | Can I suggest a spell in the Big Brother house. |
| 1000 GMT, MONDAY 5 FEBRUARY | 1000 GMT, MONDAY 5 FEBRUARY |
| Hemel's Tory MP Mike Penning has just about sewn up the motorists' vote with a new demand for the scrapping of thousands of speed cameras. | Hemel's Tory MP Mike Penning has just about sewn up the motorists' vote with a new demand for the scrapping of thousands of speed cameras. |
| Speed cameras are often seen as cash machinesHe has tabled a Commons motion that will delight drivers suspicious that they are being used as a ready supply of cash through fines which are nothing to do with road safety. | Speed cameras are often seen as cash machinesHe has tabled a Commons motion that will delight drivers suspicious that they are being used as a ready supply of cash through fines which are nothing to do with road safety. |
| Mr Penning points out the number of speed cameras on UK roads has risen dramatically over recent years and that ministers have admitted not all of them are "appropriately placed". | Mr Penning points out the number of speed cameras on UK roads has risen dramatically over recent years and that ministers have admitted not all of them are "appropriately placed". |
| "Motorists are increasingly frustrated that many of them are installed as a cash raising mechanism," he says. | "Motorists are increasingly frustrated that many of them are installed as a cash raising mechanism," he says. |
| And he has urged the government to launch a thorough review of all speed camera locations leading to the removal of cameras which do not improve road safety. | And he has urged the government to launch a thorough review of all speed camera locations leading to the removal of cameras which do not improve road safety. |
| Now, if he really wants to corner the market, what about "inappropriately placed" traffic wardens? | Now, if he really wants to corner the market, what about "inappropriately placed" traffic wardens? |
| 0930 GMT, MONDAY 5 FEBRUARY | 0930 GMT, MONDAY 5 FEBRUARY |
| The high cost of using mobile phones abroad is a source of much irritation to travellers, including Baroness Trumpington. | The high cost of using mobile phones abroad is a source of much irritation to travellers, including Baroness Trumpington. |
| During a Lords debate on the issue she asked minister Lord Truscott the following question. | During a Lords debate on the issue she asked minister Lord Truscott the following question. |
| "My GP recently gave me her private telephone number and I rang it to ask for some sleeping pills. Her reply was, "I am in Cairo". Who will pay for that call?" | "My GP recently gave me her private telephone number and I rang it to ask for some sleeping pills. Her reply was, "I am in Cairo". Who will pay for that call?" |
| The response as brief and to the point: "I am sorry to tell the noble Baroness that you both will". | The response as brief and to the point: "I am sorry to tell the noble Baroness that you both will". |
| Hold on a minute though. Are GPs in the habit of handing out their private phone numbers? | Hold on a minute though. Are GPs in the habit of handing out their private phone numbers? |
| Now that's one improvement in the NHS we would all take advantage of. | Now that's one improvement in the NHS we would all take advantage of. |