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| Keir Starmer may have just served up the worst political slogan of all time | Keir Starmer may have just served up the worst political slogan of all time |
| (about 3 hours later) | |
| ‘Delivery, delivery, delivery’ isn’t just vacuous nonsense – it’s emblematic of the prime minister’s leaden-footed approach to politics | ‘Delivery, delivery, delivery’ isn’t just vacuous nonsense – it’s emblematic of the prime minister’s leaden-footed approach to politics |
| “Delivery, delivery, delivery”. That’s what the prime minister promised as he announced yet another government reboot, insisted he would get all asylum hotels closed “as quickly as possible” and was filmed with the ubiquitous union flag in the background. (“Look, I’m the leader of the Labour party who put the union jack on our Labour party membership cards,” he boasted.) | “Delivery, delivery, delivery”. That’s what the prime minister promised as he announced yet another government reboot, insisted he would get all asylum hotels closed “as quickly as possible” and was filmed with the ubiquitous union flag in the background. (“Look, I’m the leader of the Labour party who put the union jack on our Labour party membership cards,” he boasted.) |
| Let’s quote Keir Starmer’s deliverance speech in context: “We are now into phase two of the government, which is where we focus on delivery, delivery, delivery and start to show what a difference a Labour government really makes.” Which, of course, can be happily soundbited as “delivery, delivery, delivery”. That’s the thinking, anyway. | Let’s quote Keir Starmer’s deliverance speech in context: “We are now into phase two of the government, which is where we focus on delivery, delivery, delivery and start to show what a difference a Labour government really makes.” Which, of course, can be happily soundbited as “delivery, delivery, delivery”. That’s the thinking, anyway. |
| But if there’s one thing that sums up why Starmer is a useless politician, it’s this mantra. You can see what the PM is trying to do. He’s echoing Tony Blair – again. “Education, education, education”. The same trick. One word repeated three times. Even the same number of syllables, so we can chant it from memory. | But if there’s one thing that sums up why Starmer is a useless politician, it’s this mantra. You can see what the PM is trying to do. He’s echoing Tony Blair – again. “Education, education, education”. The same trick. One word repeated three times. Even the same number of syllables, so we can chant it from memory. |
| There’s only one problem. “Delivery, delivery, delivery” (which he tried out in a practice run last December in Scotland) doesn’t mean anything. It’s vacuous nonsense. What’s more, “delivery” is almost impossible to remember as a word, let alone a slogan. Not even the Post Office could get away with it. (Nor the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists for that matter). “Delivery, delivery, delivery” might just be the worst political slogan of all time. | There’s only one problem. “Delivery, delivery, delivery” (which he tried out in a practice run last December in Scotland) doesn’t mean anything. It’s vacuous nonsense. What’s more, “delivery” is almost impossible to remember as a word, let alone a slogan. Not even the Post Office could get away with it. (Nor the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists for that matter). “Delivery, delivery, delivery” might just be the worst political slogan of all time. |
| “Education, education, education” works because it’s real. We know what education is and think it’s important. Most of us don’t know what delivery means, and I reckon the few who do don’t actually want it delivered. Take the cuts to Pip by tightening eligibility rules or restricting the winter fuel allowance to the poorest pensioners. We didn’t want that delivered, so the government had to backtrack earlier this year. | “Education, education, education” works because it’s real. We know what education is and think it’s important. Most of us don’t know what delivery means, and I reckon the few who do don’t actually want it delivered. Take the cuts to Pip by tightening eligibility rules or restricting the winter fuel allowance to the poorest pensioners. We didn’t want that delivered, so the government had to backtrack earlier this year. |
| Or take the demonising of asylum seekers and the suspension of family reunion applications. Most traditional Labour voters don’t want that delivered either because, as the great Labour peer Alf Dubs said yesterday, the government has to argue for morality, rather than try to out-Reform Reform on the bigotry front. Dubs’s life was almost certainly saved when he fled Prague on the Kindertransport in 1939 and was offered refuge in Britain. Now that kind of delivery was something we could be proud of. | Or take the demonising of asylum seekers and the suspension of family reunion applications. Most traditional Labour voters don’t want that delivered either because, as the great Labour peer Alf Dubs said yesterday, the government has to argue for morality, rather than try to out-Reform Reform on the bigotry front. Dubs’s life was almost certainly saved when he fled Prague on the Kindertransport in 1939 and was offered refuge in Britain. Now that kind of delivery was something we could be proud of. |
| The sad thing is that Starmer is an able man, and was once an admirable lawyer who fought for the underdog. But as a politician he is clumsy, leaden-footed and pusillanimous. And as a creator of winning catchphrases, he is second to all. Remember “security, prosperity, respect”, “secure, protect, rebuild”, “a new leadership” or, possibly my favourite, “another future is possible”? No, I thought not. | The sad thing is that Starmer is an able man, and was once an admirable lawyer who fought for the underdog. But as a politician he is clumsy, leaden-footed and pusillanimous. And as a creator of winning catchphrases, he is second to all. Remember “security, prosperity, respect”, “secure, protect, rebuild”, “a new leadership” or, possibly my favourite, “another future is possible”? No, I thought not. |
| And let’s not forget, Starmer is the (staunchly anti-Brexit) fella who was convinced he could co-opt the Brexit slogan “take back control” and make it his. Hard-right campaigners outside hotels “hosting” asylum seekers have shown who really owns that sentiment. | And let’s not forget, Starmer is the (staunchly anti-Brexit) fella who was convinced he could co-opt the Brexit slogan “take back control” and make it his. Hard-right campaigners outside hotels “hosting” asylum seekers have shown who really owns that sentiment. |
| Starmer should focus on delivering more hope in the decency of British people and embrace the many counter-arguments to the anti-migrant gutter rhetoric. Asylum seekers have escaped unimaginable horrors. And it is our duty to support refugees under the 1951 refugee convention. We know as well that migrants boost the economy (figures consistently show that overall they pay more tax than they receive in benefits), and they fill posts in vital public services (about 20% of NHS employees in England are non-UK nationals). If the prime minister did this, there may still be time for him to win back some disillusioned Labour supporters. | Starmer should focus on delivering more hope in the decency of British people and embrace the many counter-arguments to the anti-migrant gutter rhetoric. Asylum seekers have escaped unimaginable horrors. And it is our duty to support refugees under the 1951 refugee convention. We know as well that migrants boost the economy (figures consistently show that overall they pay more tax than they receive in benefits), and they fill posts in vital public services (about 20% of NHS employees in England are non-UK nationals). If the prime minister did this, there may still be time for him to win back some disillusioned Labour supporters. |
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| But even if he did decide to dedicate himself to delivering the moral argument, “delivery, delivery, delivery” would still be a rubbish catchphrase. As it is, when he’s applying it to lowest-common-denominator politics, it might ring more true as “populism, populism, populism” or “utterbollocks, utterbollocks, utterbollocks”. | |
| Simon Hattenstone is a features writer for the Guardian | Simon Hattenstone is a features writer for the Guardian |
| Simon Hattenstone is a features writer for the Guardian | Simon Hattenstone is a features writer for the Guardian |
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| Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here. | Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here. |