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Afghanistan: Three mothers, three stories Afghanistan: Three mothers, three stories
(about 3 hours later)
As international leaders gather for a conference in London on Afghanistan, three mothers of soldiers talk to the BBC's World Today programme about how the war in Afghanistan has affected their lives. As international leaders gather for a conference in London on Afghanistan, three mothers of soldiers talk to the BBC World Service about how the war in Afghanistan has affected their lives.
All three mothers have lost sons in the fighting. The two Afghan mothers asked to remain anonymous.All three mothers have lost sons in the fighting. The two Afghan mothers asked to remain anonymous.
Judy Gaden, mother of British soldier Corporal Tom GadenJudy Gaden, mother of British soldier Corporal Tom Gaden
Tom was very much a soldier from a little boy, dedicated to the idea of soldiering. He joined the British army when he was 16.Tom was very much a soldier from a little boy, dedicated to the idea of soldiering. He joined the British army when he was 16.
He made the rank of corporal last year and was sent to Afghanistan in January 2009.He made the rank of corporal last year and was sent to Afghanistan in January 2009.
FROM BBC WORLD SERVICE More from BBC World ServiceFROM BBC WORLD SERVICE More from BBC World Service
His job in this unit in Afghanistan was mentoring the Afghan national army. He taught them how to search vehicles and do body checks.His job in this unit in Afghanistan was mentoring the Afghan national army. He taught them how to search vehicles and do body checks.
And they loved him, they absolutely loved him. We have some lovely photographs that have been sent to me of him with some of the Afghan people.And they loved him, they absolutely loved him. We have some lovely photographs that have been sent to me of him with some of the Afghan people.
When they heard that he had been killed in an explosion, these people that he had been mentoring were as sad as his British comrades.When they heard that he had been killed in an explosion, these people that he had been mentoring were as sad as his British comrades.
Corporal Tom Gaden was 24 when he was killed in Helmand, AfghanistanCorporal Tom Gaden was 24 when he was killed in Helmand, Afghanistan
He has left behind him his lovely fiance, called Amanda. They were meant to marry last year but could not as his summer leave was cut short.He has left behind him his lovely fiance, called Amanda. They were meant to marry last year but could not as his summer leave was cut short.
He has two small children, one of whom he has never seen because Charlie was born after Tom was killed.He has two small children, one of whom he has never seen because Charlie was born after Tom was killed.
I have dedicated my life now to looking after Amanda and the two children because Tom is not here.I have dedicated my life now to looking after Amanda and the two children because Tom is not here.
To the mothers of any of the Afghan army who have lost their sons, I feel for you in the same way that I know what I have lost.To the mothers of any of the Afghan army who have lost their sons, I feel for you in the same way that I know what I have lost.
Any mother of an Afghan army soldier would be proud of what they were doing.Any mother of an Afghan army soldier would be proud of what they were doing.
But for the mothers left behind in any conflict it is extremely hard.But for the mothers left behind in any conflict it is extremely hard.
I can say I was very proud of Tom and the person he was and the principles and morals he stood for because he was a very upright and sincere young man.I can say I was very proud of Tom and the person he was and the principles and morals he stood for because he was a very upright and sincere young man.
He believed that he was fighting to improve the country for the people of Afghanistan, knowing what a free life we have in the UK. There might be hardships here, but not on the scale of Afghanistan.He believed that he was fighting to improve the country for the people of Afghanistan, knowing what a free life we have in the UK. There might be hardships here, but not on the scale of Afghanistan.
And Tom passionately believed that through training these soldiers he could improve the standard of living for the people in Afghanistan.And Tom passionately believed that through training these soldiers he could improve the standard of living for the people in Afghanistan.
I feel very sorry for the mothers of Taliban fighters because I think it must be exceptionally hard to know that your son has been recruited for a cause where only one point of view has been put across.I feel very sorry for the mothers of Taliban fighters because I think it must be exceptionally hard to know that your son has been recruited for a cause where only one point of view has been put across.
To find you have lost your son in those circumstances must be much much worse than if they were fighting for the British or the Afghan national army and my heart goes out to you.To find you have lost your son in those circumstances must be much much worse than if they were fighting for the British or the Afghan national army and my heart goes out to you.
I feel that too much pressure has been put on the young men in particular to fight for a cause that hasn't been truly explained to them.I feel that too much pressure has been put on the young men in particular to fight for a cause that hasn't been truly explained to them.
I think it is a shame that these boys can't be better informed and I hope they can be so they can make a more mature decision about how they want to make their career choices.I think it is a shame that these boys can't be better informed and I hope they can be so they can make a more mature decision about how they want to make their career choices.
Mother of an Afghan national army soldierMother of an Afghan national army soldier
My son was a soldier. Many times I told him to quit this job. I told him that he might get killed by the Taliban.My son was a soldier. Many times I told him to quit this job. I told him that he might get killed by the Taliban.
Every morning when I left the house I prayed for him and asked Allah to look after him. I asked God to protect him for me.Every morning when I left the house I prayed for him and asked Allah to look after him. I asked God to protect him for me.
Curse the war and the fighting. It has taken away my child, your childCurse the war and the fighting. It has taken away my child, your child
My husband is dead. The reason that my son became a soldier was to be able to earn money and feed his family.My husband is dead. The reason that my son became a soldier was to be able to earn money and feed his family.
But one day his body was brought to me. He was killed.But one day his body was brought to me. He was killed.
What I would like to say to the mother of the British soldier is that my sister, my condolences to you on the death of your son who was killed in Afghanistan. I am sure you understand my pain the same way I feel yours.What I would like to say to the mother of the British soldier is that my sister, my condolences to you on the death of your son who was killed in Afghanistan. I am sure you understand my pain the same way I feel yours.
We, mothers, no matter if it's a Taliban fighter's mother or an Afghan soldier's mother, or a British serviceman's mother, we have to teach our children that nothing can be achieved by fighting.We, mothers, no matter if it's a Taliban fighter's mother or an Afghan soldier's mother, or a British serviceman's mother, we have to teach our children that nothing can be achieved by fighting.
We should learn to talk to each other in peace and brotherhood.We should learn to talk to each other in peace and brotherhood.
Curse the war and the fighting. It has taken away my child, your child. May I say Taliban fighters are also our children.Curse the war and the fighting. It has taken away my child, your child. May I say Taliban fighters are also our children.
My son was forced to go into the war because of desperation. He just wanted to earn a living. Everyone is the same.My son was forced to go into the war because of desperation. He just wanted to earn a living. Everyone is the same.
I wish there would be no more suicide attacks and other killings. We are tired of burying young men.I wish there would be no more suicide attacks and other killings. We are tired of burying young men.
Mother of a Taliban soldierMother of a Taliban soldier
My son was insisting that he wanted to join the Taliban. I begged him many times not to do such a thing. But he said there was more money in it, that we couldn't survive on the money we had.My son was insisting that he wanted to join the Taliban. I begged him many times not to do such a thing. But he said there was more money in it, that we couldn't survive on the money we had.
It was God's will and he became a martyr. He was 35 years old.It was God's will and he became a martyr. He was 35 years old.
He was so kind with his wife, his children, even with neighbours and relatives. Now I have to look after his widow and his children.He was so kind with his wife, his children, even with neighbours and relatives. Now I have to look after his widow and his children.
I asked him so many times not to go to the fighting. I asked him what difference was there between an Afghan soldier and a Taliban fighter?I asked him so many times not to go to the fighting. I asked him what difference was there between an Afghan soldier and a Taliban fighter?
I told him that both were brothers and that they must sit together and talk.I told him that both were brothers and that they must sit together and talk.
As a mother of a Taliban fighter, I am calling on my children -- the Taliban and the Afghan soldiers - for God's sake please stop fighting.As a mother of a Taliban fighter, I am calling on my children -- the Taliban and the Afghan soldiers - for God's sake please stop fighting.
Let's sit together and find a way to make peace. Please stop destroying our beautiful Kandahar and our country, Afghanistan.Let's sit together and find a way to make peace. Please stop destroying our beautiful Kandahar and our country, Afghanistan.
The interviews will be featured this week on the BBC World Service Pashto service and The World Today programme.The interviews will be featured this week on the BBC World Service Pashto service and The World Today programme.