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| Version 23 | Version 24 |
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| The myth of Britain's stiff upper lip | The myth of Britain's stiff upper lip |
| (about 1 hour later) | |
| The death of Diana is often said to be the moment the UK lost its stiff upper lip and the British started being comfortable crying in public. But has the UK always been a nation for mass outpourings of national grief? | The death of Diana is often said to be the moment the UK lost its stiff upper lip and the British started being comfortable crying in public. But has the UK always been a nation for mass outpourings of national grief? |
| In recent years it seems Britain has become a nation of cry-babies, despite its long-held reputation for keeping emotions firmly buttoned up. | In recent years it seems Britain has become a nation of cry-babies, despite its long-held reputation for keeping emotions firmly buttoned up. |
| From the most unlikely politicians and public figures - including Peter Mandelson and Alastair Campbell - to just about everyone on a TV talent show, the tears are coming thick and fast. | From the most unlikely politicians and public figures - including Peter Mandelson and Alastair Campbell - to just about everyone on a TV talent show, the tears are coming thick and fast. |
| Often, this shift towards public crying is linked with the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. This collective moment of mourning is seen as releasing a nation from the restraints of being reserved and stoical. | Often, this shift towards public crying is linked with the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. This collective moment of mourning is seen as releasing a nation from the restraints of being reserved and stoical. |
| But the British actually have a long history of very public outpourings of grief and their reputation for being emotionally reserved is only a relatively recent thing, says historian Dr Thomas Dixon, who is researching a history of crying. | But the British actually have a long history of very public outpourings of grief and their reputation for being emotionally reserved is only a relatively recent thing, says historian Dr Thomas Dixon, who is researching a history of crying. |
| Gushing | Gushing |
| The public show of grief at Diana's death is nothing new. She was one in a long line of public figures to be mourned en masse. | The public show of grief at Diana's death is nothing new. She was one in a long line of public figures to be mourned en masse. |
| "We've been a pretty weepy country through the centuries until the 20th Century," says Dr Dixon. | "We've been a pretty weepy country through the centuries until the 20th Century," says Dr Dixon. |
| "It was unusually dry in terms of tears. There was a lot of stoicism and reserve. But if we go back before the 20th Century, we have other peaks of sentiments, emotion and weeping in the late 18th and up to the mid-19th Century. There's been more crying than you might think. | "It was unusually dry in terms of tears. There was a lot of stoicism and reserve. But if we go back before the 20th Century, we have other peaks of sentiments, emotion and weeping in the late 18th and up to the mid-19th Century. There's been more crying than you might think. |
| "Even in the 19th Century there were large outpourings of national grief in response to the death of famous figures." | "Even in the 19th Century there were large outpourings of national grief in response to the death of famous figures." |
| One comparable event was the death of Admiral Lord Nelson in 1805. He had won the Battle of Trafalgar against the French and Spanish navies, but died in doing so. | One comparable event was the death of Admiral Lord Nelson in 1805. He had won the Battle of Trafalgar against the French and Spanish navies, but died in doing so. |
| "There was a huge state funeral and there were many pieces of journalism reporting the event in the national press and many of them talk about 'tears gushing from every eye' and the 'nation's tears', 'Britannia's tears' at the falling of her hero and poems about Nelson and so on," says Dr Dixon. | "There was a huge state funeral and there were many pieces of journalism reporting the event in the national press and many of them talk about 'tears gushing from every eye' and the 'nation's tears', 'Britannia's tears' at the falling of her hero and poems about Nelson and so on," says Dr Dixon. |
| The UK is currently in a middle of a new wave of weeping in public life, he says. It started in the 1990s, with incidents like Margaret Thatcher leaving Downing Street with tears in her eyes in 1990. In the same year Gazza bawled his eyes out at the World Cup. Then there was mass crying when Princess Diana died. | The UK is currently in a middle of a new wave of weeping in public life, he says. It started in the 1990s, with incidents like Margaret Thatcher leaving Downing Street with tears in her eyes in 1990. In the same year Gazza bawled his eyes out at the World Cup. Then there was mass crying when Princess Diana died. |
| Irritated | Irritated |
| "We may have much more to come," he warns. | "We may have much more to come," he warns. |
| So where did Britain's reputation for the stiff upper lip come from? | So where did Britain's reputation for the stiff upper lip come from? |
| "That came from World War II," says Dr Dixon. "The 20th Century is where the tears started to dry up. A time of war is no time for weeping, whether you're on the home front or fighting the war against Hitler around the world. | "That came from World War II," says Dr Dixon. "The 20th Century is where the tears started to dry up. A time of war is no time for weeping, whether you're on the home front or fighting the war against Hitler around the world. |
| "It's at that point that this ethos emerges that however much private grief one might have, this ethos emerges that British people don't cry because they are strong and determined and resilient and stoical." | "It's at that point that this ethos emerges that however much private grief one might have, this ethos emerges that British people don't cry because they are strong and determined and resilient and stoical." |
| Social historian Dr Julie-Marie Strange says that until the mid-19th Century, it was considered fine for men and women to cry in public. | Social historian Dr Julie-Marie Strange says that until the mid-19th Century, it was considered fine for men and women to cry in public. |
| "It's particularly surprising for us when you get Victorian men crying in public. It was deemed fine to cry at a bereavement at a particular situation, for example because of a child death. Lots of people admitted crying at the death of Little Nell in the Old Curiosity Shop [by Charles Dickens]." | "It's particularly surprising for us when you get Victorian men crying in public. It was deemed fine to cry at a bereavement at a particular situation, for example because of a child death. Lots of people admitted crying at the death of Little Nell in the Old Curiosity Shop [by Charles Dickens]." |
| Even before the Victorian period officially began, there were occasions of conspicuous public mourning, says Dr Strange. | Even before the Victorian period officially began, there were occasions of conspicuous public mourning, says Dr Strange. |
| "The heroes were Byron and Shelley, men who made careers and reputations from being very emotional." | "The heroes were Byron and Shelley, men who made careers and reputations from being very emotional." |
| When Byron died in 1824, nearly 20 years after Nelson, lots of young men wore black armbands and wept openly, she says. But by the end of the century, the tone had changed so much that such behaviour was characterised as weak and intellectually stunted. | When Byron died in 1824, nearly 20 years after Nelson, lots of young men wore black armbands and wept openly, she says. But by the end of the century, the tone had changed so much that such behaviour was characterised as weak and intellectually stunted. |
| From the 1880s onwards, it became less acceptable for men particularly to cry in public, she says, partly due to the emergence of what has been called "muscular Christianity", which emphasised a vigorous masculinity in the face of anxieties about the decline of the Empire and the degeneration of Britain as a nation. | From the 1880s onwards, it became less acceptable for men particularly to cry in public, she says, partly due to the emergence of what has been called "muscular Christianity", which emphasised a vigorous masculinity in the face of anxieties about the decline of the Empire and the degeneration of Britain as a nation. |
| This change was best symbolised by writer Oscar Wilde, who sneered at the grief displayed by fans of Charles Dickens over Little Nell. | This change was best symbolised by writer Oscar Wilde, who sneered at the grief displayed by fans of Charles Dickens over Little Nell. |
| "One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing," he famously remarked. | "One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing," he famously remarked. |
| What Wilde would make of today's blubbing, one can only imagine. | What Wilde would make of today's blubbing, one can only imagine. |
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| It's not just that we embrace crying in public, we're obsessed with it. I'm embarrassed by how much crying there is on TV and in the media, it's as if TV writers think that if they've made someone break down sobbing then they've succeeded in creating valid and important television. Bring back stoicism and the stiff upper lip. | It's not just that we embrace crying in public, we're obsessed with it. I'm embarrassed by how much crying there is on TV and in the media, it's as if TV writers think that if they've made someone break down sobbing then they've succeeded in creating valid and important television. Bring back stoicism and the stiff upper lip. |
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| A fine essay on crying, shame that so much was put into so short a message.Public grief shows patriotism.The bullying that went on in various schools i attended, can only have been consideded character forming because of the low interest from the staff. Whenever a bully went to far and was attacked he was vigorously defended.I think this says all i need about the british stiff upper lip | A fine essay on crying, shame that so much was put into so short a message.Public grief shows patriotism.The bullying that went on in various schools i attended, can only have been consideded character forming because of the low interest from the staff. Whenever a bully went to far and was attacked he was vigorously defended.I think this says all i need about the british stiff upper lip |
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| @LurcherLover: It's not the blubbing that should be suppressed but the public display of it. Why? (1) To reveal being in that state makes one vulnerable and (2) Others seeing the display may be embarrassed. | @LurcherLover: It's not the blubbing that should be suppressed but the public display of it. Why? (1) To reveal being in that state makes one vulnerable and (2) Others seeing the display may be embarrassed. |
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| I find myself full of admiration for those who remain in control of their emotions at funerals, films, plays etc. The older I get, the more easily I am moved to tears - ballet, the cinema, certain songs, a beautiful sunset. Maybe I am just an old romantic at heart! Good job I'm married to one too. | I find myself full of admiration for those who remain in control of their emotions at funerals, films, plays etc. The older I get, the more easily I am moved to tears - ballet, the cinema, certain songs, a beautiful sunset. Maybe I am just an old romantic at heart! Good job I'm married to one too. |
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| @Algol60: Why is 'self-control' so virtuous? Histrionic, self-indulgent displays of grief (the Diana phenomenon) are a kind of mourning mass hysteria but basically harmless. Staying buttoned up and suppressing one's feelings when it might be be more honest and cathartic to have a good blub seems to me to be altogether more harmful. Big boys don't cry, but they are often emotionally repressed... | @Algol60: Why is 'self-control' so virtuous? Histrionic, self-indulgent displays of grief (the Diana phenomenon) are a kind of mourning mass hysteria but basically harmless. Staying buttoned up and suppressing one's feelings when it might be be more honest and cathartic to have a good blub seems to me to be altogether more harmful. Big boys don't cry, but they are often emotionally repressed... |
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| Comments 5 of 58 | Comments 5 of 58 |
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