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| Streatham's no s***hole, it's a vibrant place I'm proud to call my home | Streatham's no s***hole, it's a vibrant place I'm proud to call my home |
| (4 months later) | |
| About 10 years ago, before I had children and all my money seemed to be spent buying things I didn't need to impress people I didn't like, I realised it was about time I followed mother's advice and put down some roots. | About 10 years ago, before I had children and all my money seemed to be spent buying things I didn't need to impress people I didn't like, I realised it was about time I followed mother's advice and put down some roots. |
| Despite my constant clubbing and late-night shenanigans, I'd actually managed to save a fair bit of money. I had the clothes, the car, the women and the lifestyle, I was young and successful and London was my playground. I began the hunt for a "den", somewhere to call home – until then I'd been renting, mostly all over north and west London. I had many friends there and so it seemed the natural choice to begin the search for my "man-pad" in the bustling, coffee shop-covered streets north of the river. | Despite my constant clubbing and late-night shenanigans, I'd actually managed to save a fair bit of money. I had the clothes, the car, the women and the lifestyle, I was young and successful and London was my playground. I began the hunt for a "den", somewhere to call home – until then I'd been renting, mostly all over north and west London. I had many friends there and so it seemed the natural choice to begin the search for my "man-pad" in the bustling, coffee shop-covered streets north of the river. |
| However, I soon realised that my stash of cash was nothing more than chump change when it came to buying a home. In fact, I could have sworn I heard the sound of laughter as I left the estate agents, shock etched on my face. Although I knew the mansions of leafy Hampstead were going to be well out of my reach, I thought my hard-earned cash would have bought me a little more than a one-bedroom flat above a trendy cafe. | However, I soon realised that my stash of cash was nothing more than chump change when it came to buying a home. In fact, I could have sworn I heard the sound of laughter as I left the estate agents, shock etched on my face. Although I knew the mansions of leafy Hampstead were going to be well out of my reach, I thought my hard-earned cash would have bought me a little more than a one-bedroom flat above a trendy cafe. |
| I began to cast my net wider, all the time imagining pulling up outside somewhere that would instantly scream "HOME" and all the time being disappointed. Whether it was dodgy parking, tiny rooms, communal entrances or dark spaces, I just couldn't find the right place. I was confused, dejected and bored with the search. | I began to cast my net wider, all the time imagining pulling up outside somewhere that would instantly scream "HOME" and all the time being disappointed. Whether it was dodgy parking, tiny rooms, communal entrances or dark spaces, I just couldn't find the right place. I was confused, dejected and bored with the search. |
| Then one day, after viewing a cupboard in Kentish Town that had cheekily been described as an "open-plan space with easy access" (which would have set me back £285k), I got a call from one of my clubbing pals, who lived south of the river. "I think I've found you a pad," he said. | Then one day, after viewing a cupboard in Kentish Town that had cheekily been described as an "open-plan space with easy access" (which would have set me back £285k), I got a call from one of my clubbing pals, who lived south of the river. "I think I've found you a pad," he said. |
| "Where is it?" I asked, suspicious that he'd overestimated the size of my savings and had hooked me a Belgravia penthouse. "Streatham," he replied. | "Where is it?" I asked, suspicious that he'd overestimated the size of my savings and had hooked me a Belgravia penthouse. "Streatham," he replied. |
| "No way!" I huffed. I was a north London guy. I was trendy, successful and chic. Streatham? That didn't sound right. "No, I'm not coming down there." | "No way!" I huffed. I was a north London guy. I was trendy, successful and chic. Streatham? That didn't sound right. "No, I'm not coming down there." |
| "Come and have a look at it," he said. Reluctantly, I agreed. I jumped into my sleek, black Golf GTi Turbo and crawled slowly through the Camden traffic. After 10-15 minutes I was through town and driving across Waterloo Bridge. The sun was out and, as the traffic was a little heavy, I found myself glancing across the water, on one side Big Ben, the other the National Theatre. I knew it was going to take a while to get to the address he'd given me – in the days before satnav it certainly looked far away – but the ride was comfortable. I soon found myself on a high street, with a big central reservation dividing the traffic. It reminded me – and still does – of a seaside town; as if seagulls would be close by and a sloping, sandy beach were just around the corner. Alas not. | "Come and have a look at it," he said. Reluctantly, I agreed. I jumped into my sleek, black Golf GTi Turbo and crawled slowly through the Camden traffic. After 10-15 minutes I was through town and driving across Waterloo Bridge. The sun was out and, as the traffic was a little heavy, I found myself glancing across the water, on one side Big Ben, the other the National Theatre. I knew it was going to take a while to get to the address he'd given me – in the days before satnav it certainly looked far away – but the ride was comfortable. I soon found myself on a high street, with a big central reservation dividing the traffic. It reminded me – and still does – of a seaside town; as if seagulls would be close by and a sloping, sandy beach were just around the corner. Alas not. |
| After making my way up the high street, I turned into the street the house I was viewing was on. I passed a little pub, continued up the hill and saw big houses either side. Farther on, I saw an artist's shop, with rocking horses beautifully painted in bright colours in the window and a French patisserie. I stopped the car, climbed out and, much to my surprise, had a feeling of being "home". After walking around the three-storey house, and seeing the garden front and back, and after sitting in the brand-new kitchen and drinking tea with the owners staring out across the huge garden, I was so staggered when they told me how much the house was, that I gave them the asking price on the spot. | After making my way up the high street, I turned into the street the house I was viewing was on. I passed a little pub, continued up the hill and saw big houses either side. Farther on, I saw an artist's shop, with rocking horses beautifully painted in bright colours in the window and a French patisserie. I stopped the car, climbed out and, much to my surprise, had a feeling of being "home". After walking around the three-storey house, and seeing the garden front and back, and after sitting in the brand-new kitchen and drinking tea with the owners staring out across the huge garden, I was so staggered when they told me how much the house was, that I gave them the asking price on the spot. |
| I have been living in Streatham now for the last 10 years and my wild and crazy days are long gone. Instead I am a proud father of two girls who attend a fantastic local school that is both diverse and successful. I've met several parents and we often go for drinks in the new pubs such as Pratts and Payne or the Manor Arms. At other times I pass the older children as they run around The Rookery, a hidden gem of a garden on Streatham Common that feels as if it belongs to a different place, a different time. | I have been living in Streatham now for the last 10 years and my wild and crazy days are long gone. Instead I am a proud father of two girls who attend a fantastic local school that is both diverse and successful. I've met several parents and we often go for drinks in the new pubs such as Pratts and Payne or the Manor Arms. At other times I pass the older children as they run around The Rookery, a hidden gem of a garden on Streatham Common that feels as if it belongs to a different place, a different time. |
| The cool car is long gone and instead I ride a Vespa. It takes me about 20 minutes to get into town but, if I'm on my way to an audition and I want to think, I can easily jump on a bus or choose one of several other means of transport. Streatham isn't perfect, but I've seen it changing over the years and I can say that, far from being a "shithole", as Jo Brand described it on Have I Got News for You, I've found it a very comfortable, diverse, friendly place to live. | The cool car is long gone and instead I ride a Vespa. It takes me about 20 minutes to get into town but, if I'm on my way to an audition and I want to think, I can easily jump on a bus or choose one of several other means of transport. Streatham isn't perfect, but I've seen it changing over the years and I can say that, far from being a "shithole", as Jo Brand described it on Have I Got News for You, I've found it a very comfortable, diverse, friendly place to live. |
| We may not have the money of surrounding areas, but I would bet that many other families who live here chose it for exactly the reasons I did: value for money and a sense that the place feels like home. | We may not have the money of surrounding areas, but I would bet that many other families who live here chose it for exactly the reasons I did: value for money and a sense that the place feels like home. |
| On Kite Day this year, just after the Streatham food festival, people young and old gathered on the common to enjoy the sun and stare into the sky. As I finished my curried goat and rice and downed a cold pint, I was approached by several people congratulating me on Homeland, saying how much they were enjoying the show. I spoke to young and old and there was a real sense of community that day, none of us rich enough to look down our noses at the other but all of us just there to enjoy the day and be a part of something. | On Kite Day this year, just after the Streatham food festival, people young and old gathered on the common to enjoy the sun and stare into the sky. As I finished my curried goat and rice and downed a cold pint, I was approached by several people congratulating me on Homeland, saying how much they were enjoying the show. I spoke to young and old and there was a real sense of community that day, none of us rich enough to look down our noses at the other but all of us just there to enjoy the day and be a part of something. |
| Sometimes I feel as though we're a little embarrassed to say we're from Streatham, as if somehow we're no longer hip. But as I see my kids growing up, and as the place slowly improves and new businesses spring up, I get the sense that sooner or later we'll all start to be rather proud of our little corner of London. Comics may scorn us, but we'll have the last laugh as we sip our cappuccinos in the sunshine and sit and watch the kites. | Sometimes I feel as though we're a little embarrassed to say we're from Streatham, as if somehow we're no longer hip. But as I see my kids growing up, and as the place slowly improves and new businesses spring up, I get the sense that sooner or later we'll all start to be rather proud of our little corner of London. Comics may scorn us, but we'll have the last laugh as we sip our cappuccinos in the sunshine and sit and watch the kites. |
| Episode 11 of Homeland is on Channel 4 tonight at 9pm | Episode 11 of Homeland is on Channel 4 tonight at 9pm |
| POSTCODE SNOBBERY | POSTCODE SNOBBERY |
| Slough | Slough |
| Often used as an example of a stereotypically bleak concrete wasteland, its reputation was summed up by John Betjeman: "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough, it isn't fit for humans now." | Often used as an example of a stereotypically bleak concrete wasteland, its reputation was summed up by John Betjeman: "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough, it isn't fit for humans now." |
| Neasden | Neasden |
| The north-west London area of Neasden regularly features in Private Eye as shorthand for lifeless suburbia - although Willie Rushton once penned a tribute to its "traffic lights and yellow lines, and the illuminated signs". | The north-west London area of Neasden regularly features in Private Eye as shorthand for lifeless suburbia - although Willie Rushton once penned a tribute to its "traffic lights and yellow lines, and the illuminated signs". |
| Moss Side | Moss Side |
| Then shadow home secretary Chris Grayling in 2009 likened Manchester's Moss Side to The Wire's Baltimore: "What was going on there at the time was nothing short of an urban war … the world of the drama series The Wire." | Then shadow home secretary Chris Grayling in 2009 likened Manchester's Moss Side to The Wire's Baltimore: "What was going on there at the time was nothing short of an urban war … the world of the drama series The Wire." |
| Hull | Hull |
| In 2003, Hull topped a list of "crap towns" in the UK, with one resident describing it as "a sad story of unemployment, teenage pregnancy, heroin addiction, crime, violence, and rampant self-neglect". | In 2003, Hull topped a list of "crap towns" in the UK, with one resident describing it as "a sad story of unemployment, teenage pregnancy, heroin addiction, crime, violence, and rampant self-neglect". |
| Jamie Thunder | Jamie Thunder |
| Our editors' picks for the day's top news and commentary delivered to your inbox each morning. | Our editors' picks for the day's top news and commentary delivered to your inbox each morning. |