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| Gay marriage: 'If the deportation goes through, it would be devastating' | Gay marriage: 'If the deportation goes through, it would be devastating' |
| (about 6 hours later) | |
| "We're a pretty ordinary married couple," offers Brian Willingham, almost apologetically. | "We're a pretty ordinary married couple," offers Brian Willingham, almost apologetically. |
| Last summer the 37-year-old real estate broker married his partner of more than a decade during a quiet ceremony in New York. | Last summer the 37-year-old real estate broker married his partner of more than a decade during a quiet ceremony in New York. |
| Back at their suburban home near San Francisco, the pair enjoy weekends and evenings walking their dog, working in the garden, reading and squabbling over take-out pizza toppings. | Back at their suburban home near San Francisco, the pair enjoy weekends and evenings walking their dog, working in the garden, reading and squabbling over take-out pizza toppings. |
| Ordinary indeed. Their story really shouldn't be of much interest outside the couple's immediate circle of friends and family. | Ordinary indeed. Their story really shouldn't be of much interest outside the couple's immediate circle of friends and family. |
| But as their first anniversary approaches, a cloud hangs over their relationship. Brian's spouse, Alfonso Garcia, faces deportation – but, unlike other married couples, the pair cannot run to the protection of a green card, since the federal government only recognises marriage as being between a man and a woman. | But as their first anniversary approaches, a cloud hangs over their relationship. Brian's spouse, Alfonso Garcia, faces deportation – but, unlike other married couples, the pair cannot run to the protection of a green card, since the federal government only recognises marriage as being between a man and a woman. |
| Their plight that chimes with countless other bi-national gay couples across America – one that cuts to the heart of the debate over same-sex unions and their status in federal law. | Their plight that chimes with countless other bi-national gay couples across America – one that cuts to the heart of the debate over same-sex unions and their status in federal law. |
| Brian and Alfonso's troubles began last summer after they were pulled over for a routine traffic stop in San Francisco. | Brian and Alfonso's troubles began last summer after they were pulled over for a routine traffic stop in San Francisco. |
| Regular background checks revealed that an immigration hold had been placed on Alfonso's file. | Regular background checks revealed that an immigration hold had been placed on Alfonso's file. |
| Originally from Mexico, the 35-year-old had moved to America with his family as a teenager. | Originally from Mexico, the 35-year-old had moved to America with his family as a teenager. |
| But despite his sister, a US citizen, petitioning for a green card for Alfonso more than a decade ago, a visa never arrived due to a backlog of applications. As a result, after 20 years living in America, Alfonso, a Mexican national, was arrested. | But despite his sister, a US citizen, petitioning for a green card for Alfonso more than a decade ago, a visa never arrived due to a backlog of applications. As a result, after 20 years living in America, Alfonso, a Mexican national, was arrested. |
| What followed was a hellish three weeks for the couple, as Alfonso was carted from a local county jail to a holding facility in Arizona. | What followed was a hellish three weeks for the couple, as Alfonso was carted from a local county jail to a holding facility in Arizona. |
| "It was extremely scary, it was very difficult for me," he recalls. "I didn't know what was going on. I was in a state of limbo." | "It was extremely scary, it was very difficult for me," he recalls. "I didn't know what was going on. I was in a state of limbo." |
| Eventually he was freed on bail, but not before officials initiated formal procedures to deport Alfonso to Mexico. | Eventually he was freed on bail, but not before officials initiated formal procedures to deport Alfonso to Mexico. |
| If successful, he will be banned from returning to the US for a decade. It is a prospect the pair don't want to contemplate. | If successful, he will be banned from returning to the US for a decade. It is a prospect the pair don't want to contemplate. |
| "Our lives would be destroyed because of an unconstitutional law," says Brian, in reference to the Defense of Marriage Act – legislation that the Obama administration refuses to defend in court, but will not strike from the statute. | "Our lives would be destroyed because of an unconstitutional law," says Brian, in reference to the Defense of Marriage Act – legislation that the Obama administration refuses to defend in court, but will not strike from the statute. |
| "So much is at stake: this is the person I have committed my life to. If the deportation goes through it would be devastating. | "So much is at stake: this is the person I have committed my life to. If the deportation goes through it would be devastating. |
| "I'm committed to us, I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. But no relationship can stand up to a 10-year separation – I'm not sure how we could maintain it. | "I'm committed to us, I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. But no relationship can stand up to a 10-year separation – I'm not sure how we could maintain it. |
| "There is no other option for us – we need to be in the US." | "There is no other option for us – we need to be in the US." |
| "I feel angry at times, and frustrated," Alfonso adds. "My marriage is as valid as any other marriage. I do not understand why our government doesn't recognise our marriage. Just because we are homosexual?" | "I feel angry at times, and frustrated," Alfonso adds. "My marriage is as valid as any other marriage. I do not understand why our government doesn't recognise our marriage. Just because we are homosexual?" |
| "It is just hogwash," Brian explains. "We both come from families where marriage means something. My parents have been married for over 40 years and my grandparents for 60 years – we make strong marriage bonds in our family." | "It is just hogwash," Brian explains. "We both come from families where marriage means something. My parents have been married for over 40 years and my grandparents for 60 years – we make strong marriage bonds in our family." |
| Likewise, Alfonso's parents, both of whom are permanent US residents, have been married for more than 40 years. | Likewise, Alfonso's parents, both of whom are permanent US residents, have been married for more than 40 years. |
| Brian and Alfonso will at least make it to their first anniversary. In late March, an immigration judge stayed Garcia's deportation order until October. | Brian and Alfonso will at least make it to their first anniversary. In late March, an immigration judge stayed Garcia's deportation order until October. |
| It allows the US Citizenship and Immigration Service time to review a petition against the move. | It allows the US Citizenship and Immigration Service time to review a petition against the move. |
| The couple are hoping that Doma may be overturned by that time, a development that could lead the way to the approval of their petition and have Alfonso put on the path to a green card. | The couple are hoping that Doma may be overturned by that time, a development that could lead the way to the approval of their petition and have Alfonso put on the path to a green card. |
| "We are hopeful – I wouldn't say confident – that the immigration services will do the right thing. | "We are hopeful – I wouldn't say confident – that the immigration services will do the right thing. |
| "We are asking the Obama administration to put our green card petition on hold if they can't approve it because of the unconstitutional Doma, we are sending them a petition," Brian explained. | "We are asking the Obama administration to put our green card petition on hold if they can't approve it because of the unconstitutional Doma, we are sending them a petition," Brian explained. |
| In any event, the couple believe that the arc of history is on their side. | In any event, the couple believe that the arc of history is on their side. |
| Polling suggests that they are right. America has moved significantly on the issue over the past few years. | Polling suggests that they are right. America has moved significantly on the issue over the past few years. |
| A Pew Research Centre survey last month noted that 47% of people are now in favour of same-sex marriage, with 43% against. A similar poll taken during the last presidential campaign found that 51% were against allowing gay and lesbian couples to wed, with 39% in favour. | |
| Other polls have suggested that over the past 12 months, the scales have tipped further, with a majority of Americans now in favour of gay marriage. | Other polls have suggested that over the past 12 months, the scales have tipped further, with a majority of Americans now in favour of gay marriage. |
| "Somewhere in the very near future society will recognise this relationship. The federal government cannot keep this policy going," Brian says. | "Somewhere in the very near future society will recognise this relationship. The federal government cannot keep this policy going," Brian says. |
| "Even the Republican party is beginning to realise they are going against the trend. | "Even the Republican party is beginning to realise they are going against the trend. |
| "It is inevitable that this issue will be part of history soon, but for us, does the arc of history bend fast enough for us?" | "It is inevitable that this issue will be part of history soon, but for us, does the arc of history bend fast enough for us?" |