Drug-using couples enabled by co-dependency – and their happiness

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/us-news-blog/2012/jul/13/drug-using-couples-eva-rausing

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A few years ago the National Institutes for Health published a study of drug-addicted couples, called "I love you … and heroin." It's worth looking at today, in the light of the Rausing case currently dominating the headlines.

Eva and Hans Rausing met in a California rehab facility 25 years ago. He is the billionaire son of the Tetra-Pak family. She was the daughter of a wealthy Pepsi executive. Earlier this week, Eva's body was found at the couple's Belgravia mansion.

On Friday morning at her inquest, a London court heard that Hans had been arrested in suspicion of her murder.

The couple's previous sojourn in the headlines was back in 2008 when they were stopped and searched upon entering the American Embassy in London. The search led to a haul of 10g of crack cocaine, 2.5g of heroin and 2.35g of the illegal diet pill diethylpropion from Mrs Rausing, 220mg of diazepam from her car, and 5.63g of crack cocaine, 2.9g of heroin and almost 52g of cocaine from their house. That's a lot of drugs.

The celebrity heavy-drinking or drug-using couple is a well-known tabloid feature. From Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, to Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, Britney and Kevin, Whitney and Bobby, we have grown used to seeing abuse, enabling, and stints in rehab.

But celebrities are not the only couples to use drugs. Many others in all walks of life do too.

What's the dynamic? What makes these marriages work? (If 'work' is the right word to describe the dysfunction.)

Twenty-five years is a long time to be together, as the Rausings were. But that's not unusual for two addicts. The NIH study says addicted couples care for each other, "similarly to the ways that non-drug-using couples care for their intimate partners. However, most also care by helping each other avoid the symptoms of withdrawal."

How? "By colluding with each other to procure and use drugs." In other words, you show your love for your partner by helping to keep him or her high.

In an interview with the Daily Mail this week, Eva Rausing's mother said that her daughter had recently returned to the United States to enter rehab once more. Hans was meant to join her. When he didn't she flew back to London.

The NIH study says, "Women who report higher relationship quality were less likely to complete treatment and more likely to use drugs post-treatment than women who reported lower relationship quality." So the 'happier' the marriage of a drug-using couple, the harder it is for the wife to quit.

The Rausings have been described as only using a couple of rooms in their vast Cadogan Place house. According to the NIH, married addicts "Despite often desperate daily struggles … still aspire to the same social norms that most non-drug users aspire to in their relationships: love, fidelity, material and emotional support, and the ability to maintain a home."

Addicted couples care for each other and collude together in managing their addiction. They pool their resources, often selling drugs to supply their own habits. This cycle of co-dependency is so strong that only a major event, like an arrest or a death, can break it.

Police reports say that Hans Rausing is currently in a secure medical facility withdrawing alone. He has a long road ahead of him. The NIH study concludes that, contrary to previous held theories, instead of hindering recovery, the romantic relationship is a couple's best hope.

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